you might be a hotrodder if....(humor)

you know the difference between a nailhead and the head of a nail.
you know who Ken Howard is AND why he hates you.
you wonder why a tribe of native americans was named after an engine.

Okay, mine arent that funny.
So now its your turn! It shouldn't be to hard to top these first three. Just keep it clean enough to show your grandma!

 

If you look up Dodge in a Dictionary it says; to avoid

(sorry... i have a lot of friends and an employer that are into mopars)

 

Your ignition key is a forklift key .
Only you know how to start your car .
You know more about the auto parts counterman that you do your inlaws

 

When the local auto parts store phones you to ask what will fit what....

 

You have more cash in your car than your house and you car is still only worth about 25,000 bucks

 

...if you store car parts in the living quarter's of your house......
I KNOW i'm not the only one!

..you 'decorate' your computer desk with vintage gauges and holders....or 97's...or anything off a car for that matter..
again, i can't be alone!

..you forget family birthday's, but can sound out the firing order of a sbc without thinking twice.

..current events mean nothing to you, but you would stop in your tracks to hear old tales of moonshine running or street racing.

..a weekly event you look forward to is buying the auto trader each week to see what new projects might be out there for you.

..a vacation would be hunting tin at a junkyard you havn't been to yet.

..You would rather spend money on dual exhaust, for anything you own, over a new pair of shoes to replace the one's your wearing with hole's in 'em...


sad part is, every one of these is something i've done, or will do...and there's more...many more.

 

actually had that happen once! Now that was some funny stuff.{it was actually a coworker at my old auto prts job}

 

When I tell the counter guy that my car is a 57 Chevy with a Crusader marine 454,a 79 Trans Am 4 speed, a dump truck bellhousing and hydraulic clutch with a 81 Malibu drive shaft going back to a 59 Ford 9 inch with 66 Fairlane brakes they just tell me to come around the counter and look up what I need myself.....

 

Thats funny because im sittin here lookin at some vintage SW gauges

My ex girlfriend got pissed when i forgot out aniversary. Flathead ford is 1-5-4-8-6-3-7-2

 

Your kids are named after car parts.........

 

.....you can recite the VINs of each of you cars but can't remember your girlfriend's phone number without looking on your cell phone.......

 

My neighbor owns a Chevy dealership. His kids names are Chevy, Axel, and Blazer

 

...you keep your fingernails clean by such trimming them way down
....you have contemplated buying stock in GoJo
....you enjoy the smell of GoJo
....a standard measure whether or not the work you just finished on a car is a "project" by whether or not someone bled
....you have more engines than cars

 

-The local scrap dealer has you on speeddial.
-He keeps a box of napkins for you when you see all the tin being scrapped.
-Someone handed you a HUGE ball of tin and told you it was a Duece, you'd hammer it out all the while hoping you won't have to use more than 1/8" filler when you're done.
-You've actually wondered what a '53 Packard 4 door would look as a gasser.
-You know it's time to check the oil when it's not leaking on the driveway.

 

you go to swap meets and buy parts for "future" project cars..
you start Saturday morning off by waking the neighbors with un-corked headers..

 

You might be a rat rodder if...


You can tell if your car is warmed up by the amount of tranny fluid under your car.

You have a catch tray under your car so you dont have to keep adding oil, you just dump it back in.

If you can permanitly fix anything on your car with bailing wire and duct tape

If you use black shoe polish to fill in the cracks on your tires at a show

If you keep a quart of used motor oil in your car so you can make your DP-90 black again at car shows

If you think rust adds character to a car

If mexican blankets are there to keep the mice living in your seats warm

 

...your wife doesnt understand why you just had to have another "car". and doesnt buy the it followed me home excuse anymore.


aren't these all the truth!!

 

You leave the keys in the car because surely no one else can start it nor would they want to drive it.

The only working gauge is the oil pressure

You avoid traffic jams like the plague because of overheating.

When running out of gas, you know to floor the gas pedal because there's still gas in the two secondary carbs.

 

"You leave the keys in the car because surely no one else can start it nor would they want to drive it." Thats funny....we had several cars stolen at our dealership one time. On survailence video we saw them steal a customers piece of shit car,5 minutes later they brought it back and stole something better. The car was a supreme piece of shit that not even the cars thieves wanted!

 

You are allowed to rebuild carburetors on the dining room table and use the dishwasher as a parts cleaner.

Your cats are named after transmissions. I had one named Powerglide, another named Merc-o-matic.

Your car ash tray is loaded with spare bulbs, fuses, misc hardware that might come in handy.

You go shopping at local scrap metal dealers and bring your own shopping cart.

 

A while ago a fellow hot rodder was helping me with a project at my house and we needed an already restored part, I send him upstairs to go get it out of the game room.. he came back to the shop with total shock on his face.. I thought the Mrs. had him spooked, but no. He was surprised by the disassembled carburetors on the dining room table (they needed rebuild), the transmission parts on the kitchen table and the restored ready to install parts all over the floor in the game room. All this while my wife was sitting quietly doing needlepoint.

You may be a hot rodder when you think this is funny and not weird.

 

Or if your garage and back yard look like a Chevy dealership...

~Jason

 

If you bleed motor oil!

 

I fill all of the cracks with shoe polish. Works great, and beats the hell out of buying a grand worth of cokers.

My cat is named muncie.

 

You can sleep in your car but you can't drive your house!!!

 

- If each of the 2-3 engines you have for each project car have at least 2 options for how to build them.

- You pine away (up late, stare at hundreds of cars, etc.) for what era/look you are going to go with for your cars.

- You buy wheels just because you like them, not that you know of or have a car to put them on. They are just 'art' to you.

- You get very frustrated waiting for the next issue of Rodders Journal, only to feel like a kid a Christmas when it hits the stands again.

- You hide the fact that the only inspiration you have to build your wife a new house is how big the garage is going to be.

 

you stand in your garage for hours staring at your project keeping with the vision of what it will become one day.

you have to wipe off the inside of your windshield every now and than from all the motor noises you have made in the past.

 

I loved that Mopar commercial where the kid asks her mom why her sister is named after their car and then says ""oh---". It wasn't on long.

Our 70's VW bus was named Rachel-and so is our youngest daughter.

 

THat's funny right there.......I don't care who you are!

 

You want to cry when you call the part store for a fan clutch and the guy tells you clutchs have plates, not fans.