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who has a secret "fund" ?

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by shooter54, Apr 29, 2010.

  1. snelson57
    Joined: Jun 3, 2008
    Posts: 543


    I have tried in the past to put some cash aside, but it seems to be consumed by life...

    I am the sole wage earner around here. I need to provide a roof over our head, food on the table and everything else that we need for our 2.5 girls....

    I made a deal with my wife when we decided to have kids - I get a car for each, when we can afford it. So far, I am keeping pace. Girl #3 is due in July and I may have to wait a while for the next one, but it will come. Stuff comes up that I need on Craigslist all the time...sometimes the money is there, sometime it isn't.

    She has no interest in my hobby. She has only ridden in one of my cars....once. But she knows it is important to me and supports my hobby fully. She even supported me buying a storage condo to keep them in - so it is a pretty expensive hobby for me all in when you add up the cars, parts, tool and a mortgage.

    No money to really keep from her, no need to keep it from her if I did.
  2. JDHolmes
    Joined: Nov 25, 2006
    Posts: 918

    from Spring TX

    My wife, in her infinite wisdon, decided SHE prefered separate accounts with bill division. (I don't like it, but she refuses to combine). Consequently, she never knows how much I have in my account or in my "stash" which is actually just cash on hand, which at present is $5000 +. She prefers to spend her account dry every check (spender) and I'm the saver.

    I do NOT recommend this manner of financial management for a happy marriage.

    She forced me into getting and starting my shop to get the cars out of the garage and driveway. Now she resents it and the 13 cars in it.
  3. McDeuce
    Joined: Sep 16, 2008
    Posts: 258


    If I tell all of you it would not be a secret ... LOL

    I have a truely great wife, she knows it all and stills lets me keep going. She is one in a million.
  4. Lotek_Racing
    Joined: Sep 6, 2006
    Posts: 690


    I don't get it.

    My wife and I both have separate bank accounts, our bills are paid, we are saving money and we both do whatever we like with the leftover money after everything is taken care of.

    It's worked for 14 years now, I can't imagine having one bank account.

  5. Steves32
    Joined: Aug 28, 2007
    Posts: 1,280

    from So Cal

    Secret fund? Are you kidding?
    You guys act like a bunch of school children keeping secrets.
  6. Boyd Who
    Joined: Nov 9, 2001
    Posts: 2,196

    Boyd Who

    I have a fund set aside, but it's not a secret. My wife knows about it and fully supports my hobby.
    I put all my "extra" money in it and over the past year or so it's grown to almost 2 grand. I had planned to put the money int the hotrod, but instead I'll be using it to build a garage this summer.
  7. Skeezix
    Joined: Jan 10, 2007
    Posts: 845

    from SoCal

    This is great good lord PW men
  8. mrpowderkeg
    Joined: Mar 11, 2009
    Posts: 178


    Secret stash... It was only a secret if she found out, other than that it "doesn't exist". I tell you, being 31 and single (with a GF), and most of my car buddies are single by choice. Those that are married, they never can come out and play, nor can they ever go racing, buy parts etc... Then they always talk about how great they have it. Kind of like they're self programming themselves to believe it, yet they are sniveling puppies around their significant other, and really don't seem all that happy.

    Perfect example here:
  9. tiredford
    Joined: Apr 6, 2009
    Posts: 519

    from Mo.

    After blowing up the motor in the hot rod, it sat for a while, and I was losing interest. Later, when I asked her what she wanted for Xmas, she said "a new motor for the Model A". Being the nice guy that I am:rolleyes:, I splurged on her and bought her a nice 'crate motor'. I'm glad I don't have to lie.
  10. Hawaiianstyle
    Joined: Jul 8, 2009
    Posts: 114


    My wife is very supporting and she encourages me to save some money for the car.

    My father in law is a different story. I know he has a stash, we were in the garage one day talking and I told him I was thinking about selling my desert eagle .50 cal. He asked how much. Then opened his tool box peeled off $1,200 and that was it.
  11. I had one for a while...bad idea.

    I had 3k in a drawer in the garage that I was using to finish up a project I was working on. Wife got locked out of the house one day and thought I'd have a spare key in the desk in the garage and found the stash. Wasn't happy that I felt the need to keep a secret stash when we had other things that were waiting for proper funding.

    It was a bitch to keep it secret anyway...used to get any car purchases shipped to my office, paid with money orders, couldn't shop from the major online outlets because I didn't want to use the amex..etc. Not worth the hassle.

    We are a team and I don't have to do any back-alley deals for car stuff any longer. We talk about large purchases and have them shipped to the house. Plus I can shop online now too which makes it easier.

    Much less stress in my life.
  12. Joatha
    Joined: Jul 6, 2008
    Posts: 184


    I have a stash. Its no secret, though. The wife doesn't know how much is in it. She also doesn't care. She also has a stash. I don't know how much is in it. And, I don't care, either.

    The bills she is responsible for get paid every month. The ones I am responsible for also get paid. Its all good.
  13. Corn Fed
    Joined: May 16, 2002
    Posts: 2,942

    Corn Fed

    I don't hide any of my car purchases from my wife. In fact, my sheet of paper that I record my purchases and sales on is right in the savings account book where she could look anytime. She also knows where the stash of mad-money cash is located.

    When I bring stuff home, I don't sneek it into the garage. Sometimes I'll even show her what I bought.

    In my case, having it all out in the open works fine. Some guys might not have as understanding of a spouse and may need to resort to alternate methods. It all just depends upon your relationship.
  14. 49ratfink
    Joined: Feb 8, 2004
    Posts: 18,032

    from California

    never make a legal contract with a person who bleeds for 5 days in a row and does not die. that's all I got to say.
  15. Coupe-De-CAB
    Joined: Sep 30, 2004
    Posts: 2,098

    from Nor Cal

    No secrets between my wife and i i would "not" want her to have her own secret stash from me:( If your gonna lie to your own wife about money, what else would you lie to her about... another ride and i'm not speaking about a car:(

    Be honest, because if you can't be honest with your own wife, who can you be honest with?
  16. synthsis
    Joined: Mar 29, 2006
    Posts: 1,899


    my cash stash (not so secret-hell, i keep it in a drawer) just bought us (more for her) a 63 Lambretta scooter to tool around on for when I'm on my Triumph. As long as you use the fun money for her once in a while she won't complain when you need to pick something up for yourself.
  17. saints
    Joined: Dec 15, 2008
    Posts: 553


    My cash stash and everyone else has one is in parts and misc. cars stuff in the garage.....If I need parts I sell some and off I go......That way theres no cash laying around and the garage is full of stuff I may use or turn for a profit
  18. The radiator cap ornament on my buddie's '27 T says it all....

    Attached Files:

  19. J&JHotrods
    Joined: Oct 22, 2008
    Posts: 549


    HOLY SHIT that looks like my grandma, r.i.p.. That's kinda creepy. I got that look & stance everytime I fucked up around her. Imagine that. Little tiny hi-jack-what's the story behind that?
  20. UnsettledParadox
    Joined: Apr 25, 2007
    Posts: 1,107


    i dont have a secret fund. my wife loves cars as much as i do so i never have to justify it :D
  21. williebill
    Joined: Mar 1, 2004
    Posts: 2,706


    When I was married,I had no choice.If I hadn't had a stash,we'd have lived on the streets,and my kids would have not had cars as teens,or anything else..Her Visa was always through the roof,and she didn't really pay for anything....I thought..My stash was for survival.It got so bad that I stopped hiding my car purchases from her..I figured if she could piss away 10K on nothing,I could buy cool stuff.
    Now she's gone,and all my cool stuff is still here
  22. henryj429
    Joined: Jan 18, 2007
    Posts: 1,061


    My stash is a boneyard with about a dozen 30s/40s/50s parts cars in it. When my project(s) needs a chunk of cash that was unexpected or unavailable in my checking account, I spend a few hours and pull some parts to sell on ebay or the Hamb. Even if I dump a grand on something that might seem stupid, my wife never gripes because its my sweat.
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2010
  23. powdercoater46
    Joined: Oct 27, 2009
    Posts: 246


    U bet I have a little stash. Otherwise, I'd be paying her bill when she overspends again.
  24. 1959apache
    Joined: Nov 22, 2009
    Posts: 2,627


    my stash is my bank account... ahhh the joys of being unmarried lol
  25. olscrounger
    Joined: Feb 23, 2008
    Posts: 4,122


    no stash here--being doing this for 33 yrs with the same wife--it's a joint partnership and she is in the loop on all of it-in fact when we had a 40 rag upholstered, I was bing somewhat frugal--hse stepped in and said do it right--suare weave cpt, leather , etc--cost was about $4K more but she siad do it right !!
  26. T.W.Dustin
    Joined: Nov 18, 2008
    Posts: 883


    Never have, never will. Car money begets car money I always say, so when I sell parts it's mine (unless we need it elsewhere and I always get it back, and more). My wife gets it that I am into cars and thats one of the reasons we have been happily married for over 25 years. She even talked me into buying the latest project, a 1956 Dodge PU.
  27. Ditto.

    All of this talk of stashes and secrets separate accounts and not being told how to spend are all symptoms of a lack of trust and marriages that could easily fail.

    Marriage is not about "what's in it for me" but "what are you going to sacrifice". If you are not prepared to do that then don't get married.You will be surprised at the rewards reaped from those sacrifices.

    Just spoke to the other half this morning about a new welder . She says yes I think there is enough money in the account , so green light.

    I think is far easier to ask permission than to incurr the wrath of a women scorned and having to seek forgiveness. Better to do it right in the first place rather than wait for the bomb to go off.

    Steps off soap box.;)
  28. hemi guy 53
    Joined: Dec 30, 2007
    Posts: 266

    hemi guy 53
    from colorado

    Yes i have a stash but the only thing secret about it is the total amount, the only reason for that is if my wife knows that we have $100. she finds it her personal responsibility to get rid of it. this way she knows there is a saftey net but not how big it is so dont jump from to high or it might hurt. Plus she is totally into hot rods so spending on them is not a big deal as long as its not hurting the family.
  29. burnout2614
    Joined: Sep 21, 2009
    Posts: 612


    I had a wife...................... twice................but no more. Now I have to hide dollars from myself.
  30. bigdog
    Joined: Oct 30, 2002
    Posts: 611


    I didn't, wife did. We're not married anymore. Do you want her lying to you?

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