Register now to get rid of these ads!

Whats your favorite HAMB quote? and from who..

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Lucky Burton, Dec 8, 2006.

  1. kwiksilver
    Joined: May 14, 2006
    Posts: 279

    kwiksilver
    Member

    I dont remember who wrote it but its in someones sig
    "praise the lowered"
    I am going to paint it on the back of my sedan!!
     
  2. Kilroy:

    TRYING to build a "Rat Rod"
    Is like TRYING to be mentally retarded...
     
  3. Wesley
    Joined: Aug 12, 2006
    Posts: 1,670

    Wesley
    Member

    everyone speaks of my drinking, but none ever talk of my thirst.

    I resemble that remark!
     
  4. Wesley
    Joined: Aug 12, 2006
    Posts: 1,670

    Wesley
    Member

    sorry, I forgot to give Fur Bisquit credit for that one
     
  5. seymour
    Joined: Jan 22, 2004
    Posts: 5,125

    seymour
    Member
    from PNW

    hahaha.... I've been missing out on all the fun!
     
  6. jusjunk
    Joined: Dec 3, 2004
    Posts: 3,138

    jusjunk
    BANNED
    from Michigan

    Who was it that said thats like telling us your girl friend got new tits and showing us a picture of her ass.
    :D:D:D:D
    Im still laughing about that one.
    Dave
     
  7. A HAMBer but I don't remember who

    "I like your sister, but your mom does that thing with her tongue"

    Its sick like a springer episode and shocks uptight people speechless.

    s.
     
  8. fab32
    Joined: May 14, 2002
    Posts: 13,985

    fab32
    Member Emeritus

    "FUCK YOU!!! " Posted by Kustombuilder in response to one of my posts calling him out about the progress on his projects.:)

    Frank
     
  9. ford4chevy
    Joined: Oct 10, 2006
    Posts: 43

    ford4chevy
    BANNED
    from Sanger, CA

    Bring back hairy muff nads
     
  10. Quotes from my late departed father..."He didn,t know if he was punched,bored or chewed out by the rats." and of course "He was crazier than a shithouse rat!" Damn I miss my dad.....
     
  11. chopperkid13
    Joined: Nov 7, 2006
    Posts: 178

    chopperkid13
    Member

    "racing hondas is like running in the special olympics, even if you win, your still retarded" -unknown
     
  12. Cshabang
    Joined: Mar 30, 2004
    Posts: 2,458

    Cshabang
    Member

    i haven't laughed this hard in awhile.....thanks guys..
     
  13. this one, but I cant remember who posted it, so I made it one of my sigs..

    "- I am a Traditional Elitist, sorry if that offends you, but I am not going to be forced to like shitboxes just to save a few hurt feelings... "
     
  14. oh yeah those Germ ones are classic, Nads had some good one too, this describes me perfect. -

    "I am a half assed nit-wit with more passion than skills."- Nads..
    (something like that)
     
  15. breeder
    Joined: Jul 13, 2005
    Posts: 10,948

    breeder
    Member Emeritus

    give me a box of the magnums and where do you keep the staplers? cant remember who said that now but i shit my pants!!!!funniest shit ever!!:D thrityfivepickup!!!!!funny shit mike!!!!
     
  16. Petejoe
    Joined: Nov 27, 2002
    Posts: 12,546

    Petejoe
    Member
    from Zoar, Ohio

    And you newbees think we are hard on you....
    Funny shit. i miss his ramblings...
    These were posts in introductions of newbees

     
  17. Royalshifter
    Joined: May 29, 2005
    Posts: 15,774

    Royalshifter
    Moderator
    from California

    The winner for me I laughed so hard my balls hurt. LOL
     
  18. From Fab32 :"Hot Rodding should be available in pill form and consumption required."
     
  19. seymour
    Joined: Jan 22, 2004
    Posts: 5,125

    seymour
    Member
    from PNW

    "Just like the 50's, bro."
     
  20. JamesG
    Joined: Nov 5, 2003
    Posts: 5,249

    JamesG
    Member

    "No Soul".........................
     
  21. "The HAMB has become to warm and fuzzy....I liked it when we use to eat are young !" Junkyard Dog
     
  22. Chaz
    Joined: Feb 24, 2004
    Posts: 5,016

    Chaz
    Member Emeritus

    MOPAR742000-"die hard greaser to the fucking bone I chop, drop, cut, section, slam, throw pins and more. i 'm a fop man goddam it that dapper dan shit's too thin. i spend more time in my gurage than i ever do in my house and i love rat rod hunnie bunnie's ", "What's up, Pussies?"

    I wish that thread just got locked instead of removed... I'd still go back and read and laugh my ass off time and time again.
     
  23. Justin B
    Joined: Oct 11, 2003
    Posts: 2,282

    Justin B
    Member

    gotta agree with seymour "just like the 50's, bro"

    the other one that stands out is when germ (i think) said to a newb "your mom's like a bowling ball i stick two fingers and a thumb in her throw her in the gutter and she keeps coming back for more"

    and "orcabetties"
     
  24. Squablow
    Joined: Apr 26, 2005
    Posts: 18,271

    Squablow
    Member

    Orcabetties isn't really a quote but it's a great new term from the HAMB dictionary. Also included is fauxtina or fauxtinkeling.
     
  25. pecker head
    Joined: Nov 8, 2006
    Posts: 4,427

    pecker head
    Member

    Gee DAVIE you shouldn't do that .................................
     
  26. SinisterCustom
    Joined: Feb 18, 2004
    Posts: 8,277

    SinisterCustom
    Member

    ....
     
  27. Busted Knuckles
    Joined: Dec 1, 2004
    Posts: 1,842

    Busted Knuckles
    Member

    During Christmas you can do a whole Grinch that stole hubcaps thing.
    Tim
    MBL
     
  28. Man, this is the funniest thread in a long while. Good shit!
     
  29. seymour
    Joined: Jan 22, 2004
    Posts: 5,125

    seymour
    Member
    from PNW

    I wish I would've kept any PMs that I've gotten from "00 Mack" they're the fuckin best, although slightly offensive! lol :D
     
  30. Sam F.
    Joined: Mar 28, 2002
    Posts: 4,225

    Sam F.
    BANNED

    the first few lines were my all time favorite,,on the old board,,at the top of the thread was a "edit" reply and quote button,so it was funny to me

    but after finding the quote ,i had to repost the thread in its entirety for the newbies who werent here when Germ was..



    Edit: bugs bunny dances with the JAPANESE JAMES DEANS *
    Reply: PORN name of ROOTHAWG *
    Quote " I wish STIV bators WAS ALIVE. *

    Germ, you suck. Wayno

    Post Extras: CLASS WAR at EL MIRAGE....* LUKEJIVESWAPPER, learns to WELD. * *

    PRESENTED by:
    Drama Queen.
    who snorkled all night with bubble gum nose,to bring you more barris CHEW toys............ that your DOG can URINATE on.......

    Music by the NEGROE NADS(tm) BARBERSHOP TANNED FRANKIE LANE,,,,,,
    performing 4 acts of.....

    "Slitting my 32 FORESKIN with the UNFINISHED B-PILLARS, BLEEDING in the JUSTIFICATION of LAZINESS, STILL with the scent of MUFF and SEMEN in the air!!!!!!
    TRUE HEROES will DIE after a night of BEDDING the fat CHICK named " RAT ROD PATINA....
    who models for the BETTY CROCKER-PAGE cookbook....

    WAYNO.

    I'm down with the "CYCLONE" FLATHEAD gear, It comes NEW,,,!!!! and a SET OF THEM is GREAT because they haven't been FAGGORIZED(tm) by some TEENAGE SOCIAL REBEL,who decided he wanted to PRETEND BELLAUTO PARTS was still open,when he PORTED the HEADS with his TREE TRIMMER................

    , shit ,man!!! I'm the ROBIN HOOD of LEADSLED RED WHEELS RAT ROD BUILDING(tm).............., I weld birdshit SLAG, in the family garage like the 50's bro.....REMEMBER when we AIRSTREAMED our fat pregnant,floor sweaping, YOUTH OVENS(tm) we call wives........ to B-VILLE, so they could bitch.......and moan about the financial restraits based on something STUPID....... like the LAYOUT of tile in the chain smoking RED HEADED DRUNKS fucking trailer being better then ours..................
    the BEST TRAILER parks near mine= NO BONDAGE, SEX, or CHEERLEADER suites.........................

    I pray for the rain in CALIFORNIA, because "I'm the PUSSYRANCHER(tm) of RAT ROD WORLD...........and the women GROW faster and faster with each invasion....................
    KINDA,
    like the ALMONDS that FAGGOT john STIENBACK jerked off over when he IMMIGRATED to california........................after he decided being AMISH was as GAY as LIVING in MICHIGAN..............

    His book would have been much better if it discussed SCREWING GIRDLE wearing tramps from the BURGER HOP....................In the back of his AUNTs," KITCHEN CLUCKER... SISSY wagongrocery getter.............
    The bitch smoked more MARLBOROS and said RACIST words more then JOHN WAYNE....................

    In the 50's,
    I told the union that my LOGO was "I FARM PUSSY, so you don't have to"(tm).................
    I have a plantation of SLUTS, trying to get into the RAT ROD,VON DUTCH,TRL. INDUSTRY..................
    the SILICON them TITTIES right out of a training bra and....... they can put fake bird shit on my roadster, and let some FAT SLOB, draw lines on my SHITBOX, That I can't even chop up and snort!!!

    It's a GREASERS VERSION of BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS all over the fucking "PUSSPATINA"... ..........The 50's are hard cause we don't have JESSIE JAMES to HATE or ROSIE ODONELL,to marry her FEMALE LAWN CHAIR............. and they havent invented VIVID VIDEOS yet .....WAYNO,
    so JERKING OFF is RESTRICTED to the SEARS ROEBUCK bra SECTIONS...........


    So we will say that our TARGET will be that FUCKING SELLOUT, STU HILBORN.....he;s a SHITHEAD because he was seen MOONLIGHTING with that BOOZE MONGER guy, FRANK "The baby arm penis" SINATRA.(tm)................. who happens to swing a rather large BABY ARMED SIZED PEACHPLUNGER......,,,.."nicknamed by that 15 year old cuban girl". JOSEPH Mc CARTHY called
    "The FIDEL FRANKANAL DICTATOR"..............
    FRANK had some ISSUES.....
    he was TRUELY unsure how HUGE his MEMEBER was..
    " FRANK was thinking about the TIME he had to shower with SAMMY (the satan worhipper DAVIS JR". ........................while TOMMY LASARDO farted all over the ROOM..........
    HE didn't have anything to compare his MASS to.....

    The folklore of the african tuskdong had not been exploted yet by the FUTURE GRACING of WILT "the stilk" CHAMBERLAN ,,,,,,

    SAMMY was a smaller framed GHOULofaDEVIL african, but his PIG STICKER(tm) was moonlighting in a new TOOTSIE ROLL COMMERCIAL,cause he was HUNG small like those TRANSEXUALS in the circus of freak shows on CONEY ISLAND.......

    Once he saw SAMMIES grasshopper leg.............
    FRANKIE knew he was GIFTED.......HE BROKE WOMEN and he MADE BITCHES out of BODY BUILDERS............. SINATRA was the VAGINA PLUMBER(tm)........... the POSTER FUCKING BOY for RAPID ROOTER(tm)......................

    ACTUALLY its a KNOWN FACT He wrote "IN THE WEE SMALL HOURS" thinking of SAMMIES PRICK".. originally it was set to be entitled "IN THE PEE PEE room his WEE WEE GLOOMED PRUNE SKIN"""....................

    SAMMY didn't fucking CARE, he was "RUNNING with the DEVIL" and BANGING "CALIFORNIA" GIRLS... long before DAVID LEE ROTH rocked with VAN HALEN............... SAMMY wore ANTON LEVAY eyes........................

    Another LOSS with SINATRA was about to ring in the CHORDS of CONFUSION when he decided to release his ALBUM tuned to the subliminal readings of the title "A MAN and HIS MEMBER"... ..........that was his FISHING LINE TREBLEHOOKED to SNAG SLUTS as they MILL around VEGAS smelling DIAMONDS.........................
    The record companys revoked that title, due to being uncertain if the LINBERG baby was a "BACK to the FUTURE " version of John BONEY RAMSEY"........

    Sinatra had to settle the score with a simple GAYNOTE TITLED "A MAN AND HIS MUSIC".............
    FATE became public FEAR when RUMORS surfaced that OL-BABY EYES, was DRINKING and PLUNGING more VAGINA, then a normal human could TACKLE...................

    .HE had an APPETITE to "ROCK THE CODtm)..........
    and NANCY did her HILLARY CLINTON ACT,(tm) by CLOSETING her LESBIANISM that existed in the URGES of LOOKING up WIMBELTON tennis PLAYERS dresses, while dreaming about brothel houses in cobblestoned PARIS...............

    VENICE SMELLS like OAKLAND.....

    FRANK came with the FUTURE in the same art as HOT RODS,,,, he PICKLED NANCY REAGAN,while RONALD plotted revenge for the COLD WAR....and picked out apple trees for his REAGAN RANCH....................... so he could masterbate in his GEORGE WASHINGTON costume, while JODY FOSTER throws METAL TIPPED DARTS at his ass.............

    The future brought us FAST FOOD,and FAT WOMEN got FATTER, all the while OL BLUE EYES, was leaving his "MEAT TUBE LUGIES",(tm) all over VEGAS,,,,
    He had it all. and NO FUCKING loud mouth PRICK of a DWARF, named JOE PESHI,was gonna ACT like an ITALIAN, and TAKE AWAY HIS GLORY................you fuck with FRANK THE CRANK(tm),
    he calls the MAFIA....

    the FUTURE SUCKS, we HAVE ricky lake TRAMPS with TRUCKSTOP TATTOOES, FAG BANDS like KORN,and LIMP BIZKITTS,,,,,,,,,Coke that taste like LAUNDRY SOAP

    WAYNO........
    the CHICKS are REVOLTING by getting SLOPPY and COSMETICALLY LAZY..........INSTEAD of TITS I can answer the phone with,and pretend I'm napping in a romper room bean bag of skin............
    these chicks LISTEN TO FOLKLESBIAN tunes(tm) LIKE Jonie Mitchel,,
    and grow soft PANCAKE TITTIES!!!!

    These BIMPS spend time babbling the redundantcey of FEM issues....... They impress each other WITH ROCKABILITY(tm) in the DONKEY YAWNS through BEAVER TEETH(tm) that leak from their SNOUTS ,.........

    people in ASIA are sleeping in DUNGHUTS(tm) and these SLOBS are buying VINTAGE cooking SHIT to BETTY PAGE a PUKE YELLOW KITCHEN............

    They won the CLASS WAR with the fucking 50's TOASTER, that doesn't toast a piece of JEWISH rye bread like the new toasters found in MODERN department stores........

    you can buy a TOASTER, but what LANGUAGE do you want it WRAPPED in?
    BELUSHI is GONE, ROB HALFORD is a HOMO.........
    AND ARTISTS whine like AUTISM STUDENTS trying to cure H.I.V. with MAGIC JOHNSON screwing their wives in CAMBODIA, ITS A BATTLE CRY of POVERTY,when some WINE SNORKLER doesn't antiup on his FLAVORED RETRO CHIC painting........
    Get a JOB WASHING WINDOWS, or DIGGING HOLES, that to me PAINTS the PICTURE of being a RAT RODDER DEUCE COUPER(tm).................

    DANNY DEVITO drives a TAXI, and you know that he stole a booster seat from DENNYS,,,after he cut in front of BLACK FOLKS that they were MAKING pay in advance before being seating.........AL SHARPTON rang the BELL,,,, he got MARRIED...... I heard to "INCHEULA BONCHA MOHAMEDITIE ALI," (no relation to the boxer that decided he wanted to BE Jane Fonda, and DODGE the DRAFT)..................
    I wonder if SEAN PENN was spawned from JANE FONDA,and MARTIN SHEEN..??

    AL SHARPTEN was the MAN in the mission,
    HE WAS HIP HOPPING,and BLING BLINGING, long before white KIDS from IDAHO, started the CRIPS GANG..............

    AL was THE EAZY E.before EAZY E...... the LOCKS he sported would make TINA TURNER, cry................HARDER then when IKE stretched her EARS with PLIERS...........cause he ran out of nasal spray..........

    AL was a GOOD REV.
    he, drove a "DODGE DART", and wore his DODGERS hat, while PIMPING the SOUNDS of the GOOD LORD, and FINDING SATANISM in FISHER PRICE..........

    DELOREAN RAT ROD comes BACK to PASO ROBLES, to gather FASHION INTELLIGENCE from the MEATSWALLOWERS in the SOUTH EAST CORNER......

    SOMEONE CALL THE COPS, SETZERS MERC is CROOKED, and.
    JOHN HOLMES is doing GAY PORN to support his CHICKS cocaine HABIT,,,,

    I just wonder where the fuck the atari 2600 is, so I can park my BMX bike, make a BEER CAN PIPE,,smoke some DIRTWEED(tm) with seeds,and PLAY COMBAT...........

    My mom was in BEAVER HUNT,

    FRED WILLIAMS. is more funner then AL SHARPTON, and FRED used his RAZOR TONGUE to KILL GERMANS in G.I. BRO...........

    RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE give me HOPE, that MUSICIANS can be ELECTROCUTED by their EQUIPMENT,,,,,,,,

    FREE MUMIA, I need a SOCIAL CAUSE,
    to replace the BOREDOM the BEATLES BROUGHT instead of bringing REVOLUTION when they LANDED in NEW YORK!! They had SALAD BOWL hair..... and ED SULLIVEN ROLLED out the RED CARPET

    KILL ME PLEASE,(2004)

    ask MR SPOCK.AKA" BIRD BEAK EARS", when he's done RUINING his CAREER in AIRLINE commercials,,,,, to LUBE the OLD TRAVEL TUBE, and
    HUGH BEAUMOUNT, me back to the 50's so I can invent CRYSTAL METH, and TRUCK STOPS,,,,,,,,,,
    We needed more STORIES of CRACK BABIES and BROKEN HOMES,,,,,,,,

    I can CONVERT to AMISH, dress up like MICHAEL LANDON and raise my family selling SOAP door to door to "FEMALE FLOOR MOPPERS", who KEEP the HOUSE CLEAN..................
    I can HIDE my PORN mags in the "DEN",cause it's OFF LIMITS to FEMALES.... Thats where me and my CRICKET buddies, talk about screwing our wives friends, behind their backs...........

    I played POCKET POOL today, WITH major TECH baby,,,,,,,,
    while COMING down from the DARVOCETS my DOCTOR gave me, to beat my DRUNK DRIVING CASE.......

    FATHERFURY and HARVESTER OF BONDO, seemed to have BROKEN radio SILENCE,,,
    I expect their SUICIDE LETTERS to arrive anyday now.............

    HEAVY METAL
    TEENAGE SUICIDE
    SHITBOXES

    TRADITIONALLY YOURS,
    and In the spirit of being POMPADORABLE....,,,,

    GERM
    AKA

    "GERMYASSHURTSFROM T-MANS HOMO EROTIC SHIFTERS FETISH".......

    LOATHE a LOVE you LOST, with the LUST of another LOLLIE....

    I'm GOING to HELL,with a 40 ounce of KING COBRA,and a PACK of CAMELS.
    singing NIGHT MOVES, by BOB SEAGAR

    PULL THE TRIGGER...
     

Share This Page

Register now to get rid of these ads!

Archive

Copyright © 1995-2021 The Jalopy Journal: Steal our stuff, we'll kick your teeth in. Terms of Service. Privacy Policy.

Atomic Industry
Forum software by XenForo™ ©2010-2014 XenForo Ltd.