Whats your favorite HAMB quote? and from who..

So I was thinkin how strong the HAMB is now and I was trying to remember some good quotes and Hambisms I have read but I can't remember any one in paticular. Whats your favorite Quote/Line/Saying/Rant that you have read on the HAMB and from who? I know alot of you guys save them......Luck

 

KIRK! -"Around here we call XL hot rod medium!"

 

Chili Phil..........."Never Adult Moment"....................OLDBEET

 

Best rant EVER.......

 

"when I'm driving my roadster, I'm the coolest mother fucker on the planet" - Bob Bleed

 

Who Let The Dogs Out.....The Baja Men

 

I can tell you the favorite words of some writers that I absolutely detest........when writer finishes a sentence and the next sentence starts with ......."That said, ...blah blah blah". Makes no grammatical sense whatsoever. We know what you said. Leave it alone.

The best one though (can't remember the author) is when you look at a kid with piercings all over......"Must have hurt when you fell into your Dad's tacklebox".

 

Some Germ trinkets (I didn't know the guy, seems interesting tho):

"I FOUND THE ANSWER......
METH builds a man, who can MOW the BADDEST LAWN,,,,,"

"Why does it seem Like OLD SKOOL RODZ is written from a PERSPECTIVE where the WRITERS WRITE like "THEY" as a SECRET GREASER collective, have the HIGHEST POWER of RIGHTS on something we were doing So LONG ago????
Seems as if they were really busy sucking the DICKS of the EARLIEST FAGGOTS to build CHOPPERS and BIKES with The LATEST S.U.V. rear wheel....."

"WE ARE A PASSION for THINGS FAST, and for CUNT"


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That was all from one single post, btw.

 

He ain't dead.

 

I just got the weirdest sense of Deja Vu not only reading those last two posts, but also while typing this...

 

Got a couple from you too, and these are very recent.

"I even hate myself, if it wasn't for intense self-loathing I'd have no self image at all."

"At least those Emo kids have a small chance of getting fresh poontang, and that's why I hate them the most. YOU CANNOT BE DISILLUSIONED IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN ILLUSIONED IN THE FIRST PLACE."

 

I was quite fond of "Why doesn't patina rhyme with vagina"
and "If porn is outlawed only outlaws will have porn"

DrJ's had some good uns over the six or seven hundred years he's been on this planet.

 

Yeah, those were funny too.

I even started to comment that you were on a roll that day, by posting up "GO NADS! GO NADS!" but then I didn't think that was appropriate for a public board.

 

"spread the gospel of traditional Hot Rods and Kustoms to hoodlums worldwide" -el capitan

 

MOPAR742000-"die hard greaser to the fucking bone I chop, drop, cut, section, slam, throw pins and more. i 'm a fop man goddam it that dapper dan shit's too thin. i spend more time in my gurage than i ever do in my house and i love rat rod hunnie bunnie's ", "What's up, Pussies?"

 

man, that guy was a fucking trip...someone should drag that post back up from the dead...funny shit...

 

Dead women never say NO!

 

my favortie was also from MOPAR742000 although I don't remember his exact verbage:

Im into cars not gramer!

 

Where is the Dale anyway?????

 

There's been some really good ones, but two that stick out in my mind right now are

"Florida is for louvers"
and
"I Worship Satin"

 

Good times.

 

"For instance you can't yell "Theater" in a crowded fire." Nads

 

"All I see are red X's." -many

 

Anybody remember this from before Johnny changed his screen name? I had to stop reading it till I got home, I was laughing too much. One of the funniest things I have ever read, anywhere!
http://www.jalopyjournal.com/forum/showthread.php?t=126222&highlight=practical+jokes
Originally Posted by Standard Speedshop
videotaped putting 300 black cat firecrackers in a garbage can in a sleeping friend's room...night vision on those camcorders is great...

took a buddy's door hinge pins off his bedroom door, hung the door back up and closed it, took all of the lightbulbs out of the house and sat in the living room in total darkness until he came home at 3 am...hit the lights...nothing...arms full of stuff he stumbles to his bedroom, opens the door and promptly falls on top of it when it falls off the hinges...

used that fake x-mas snow to write obscene things on the same guy's car windows...that shit's hard to remove...

removed a friend's fiberglass pickup topper and "mounted" it on the roof of his garage...took 3 guys to get that fucker up there...

farted into an empty 2 liter bottle and squeezed it out in front of a co-workers face...nothing like concentrated ass air...

welded steel flat iron around a co-worker's toolbox...40 feet of 1"x.060 steel flat iron forming a cage around his toolbox, all nicely welded together...it takes a lot more time to remove it than it does to bend it and weld it all together...

tied rope to a buddy's closed bedroom door to the bathroom door across the hallway that was open about 2 inches...bathroom door has no handle and the rope through the hole makes it bounce when his door opens...open...slam...open...slam...

when said buddy got pissed at us he put locks on his door...I picked the lock, turned his air conditioner around in the window (gotta keep the neighborhood cool during those hot august missouri days)...and then locked the door

picked the lock when he was sleeping a couple days later, reinstalled the lock backwards...

climbed into his room via the neighboring bedroom's closet which was linked to his closet and stacked all of his furniture against the door, climbed back out and locked my bedroom door...

put liquid garlic extract in his fresh batch of kool-aid, injected his oranges with soy sauce via a sterile syringe, filled his half full carton of milk with rice, put pop rocks in with his leftover chinese takeout, spritzed water in his open bags of chips and carefully removed all the spice packets from his ramen noodle packages...he was very hungry and thirsty that night...

replaced all of his home movies he'd taken of his trip to MN with porno with the labels peeled off and his home movie stickers put on...he showed them to his family at x-mas when he went home to visit...they were all mid-scene on purpose...

took all of his booklets out of his music cd's he had on his cd storage rack, well over 100 of them...put them in the dishwasher and bitched him out when he came home for not starting the dishwasher before he left...you can still read the booklets, they're just a little wrinkled...

Still just as good...

 

If it's got tires or tits, its gonna give you trouble!

 

I really wish I could remember who said this, but I don't;

Calling a Hot Rod a Rat Rod is equivalent to calling your wife a bitch in public. You may want to, but there are just somethings you dont do.

Vance

 

"if i throw a stick, will you beat yourself to death with it?" Nads

" Kevin Lee once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress." Mike Zenor

"if you dont succede right away, suck harder" Germ? ? ?

 

Fiddy has had some good un's...........

 

Muttley...

You guys dress up for Halloween? I had no idea there were so many eleven year olds on the HAMB.

For the love of God........stop showing your bare feet on the HAMB...........I dont need to see corns and toe jam at 9 in the morning or any other time for that matter.

Anyone who does that to a car should have their face stomped on by a fat guy wearing golf shoes.

This thing wont go away, quick we need two volunteers............one to light it on fire and the other to put it out with a sledgehammer.

 

oh man, the practical joke thread...I never laughed so fucking hard in my life...and it gave me a lot of bad ideas...not that I don't have enough bad ideas of my own, but it's always nice to have more...