Stuff you've learned the hard way

LSD and Disney movies don't mix well.
Also, floppy drives don't need pennys inside of them to work.

 

On the evening of your sixteenth birthday, when you have money that's burning a hole in your pocket, and you look in the paper and see a Model A you can afford, don't buy it in the dark when it's buried in snow.

Dave
http://www.roadsters.com/

 

Unfortunately, you can afford to do it the proper way the 2nd time.

The 2 things in life that you NEVER lend out,your tools or your wife...............they both come back fucked.

 

if you drink to much make sure you use a condom

 

A bench grunder is a bad place to stick your thumb.

 

make sure your flywheel is all the way on

 

Your ribcage might provide a good soft landing for that gearbox you're under the car pulling out, but it's not reall good for them bones.

You really shouldn't have the tips of your left fingers anywhere near the exposed crankshaft while you're turning the engine over with the breaker bar in your right hand.

Directly under the welding spot is not a good place to hold a pair of pliers in your bare hand.

Cheers, Glen.

 

Dialing 1-800 - WILL - IT - FIT and using your credit car number isn't necessarily going to provide the best solution to your problem.

 

cars on craplist.com in detroit with 1 inch by 1 inch pictures never look as good in person as the price. And are never worth the trip either.

Watch where you put your jackstands, when you put them too far back and use the bumper to pull yourself up, wacthing a halfton truck teeter to where you just were is scary.

if you think that bump in the road looks too big, chances are, it is.

if to check your gas you have to take the cap off and shake the cab till it sloshes, chances are, you should just get a fuel gauge.

if you forget to put a hose clamp on the end of your fuel log, chances are you will be on the side of the road next to a big open feild using a cell phone screen as a light and a zip-tie and a pair of pliers to save your ass.

 

When letting the car back down after removing the jackstands, look to see if you left anything else under there, which is sticking up high enough to crumple your fender where it mounts to the body. Uh, somebody told me they did this.

 

When pulling a trans out of a junk yard, the last step is to pull the yoke. If you pull it earlier, you get to lay in trans fluid.

 

Make all your tapped holes first,this way when the tap breaks you dont have 30 hours in the part before you distroy it trying to get it out then throwing it out. Also things stay hot after there welded.........REAL HOT!......so i have been told,fingerprints are overrated .

 

Is it me, or anyone else reading these in thier best Jeff Foxworthy redneck accent?
Never believe the guy at the swap meet when he says it will fit your car.
Don't let anyone work on your car untill you've seen them work on thier car first.

 

A.)Always "network!" Make sure you know someone a little smarter,more experienced and helpful.Relatives and friends are prime candidates.
B.)Sucker,err,gladly offer to trade them labor for labor if they'll step into that one?
C.)Sometimes you have to "lose to win." do something twice if it'll be right.
D.)Learn from others mistakes!
E.)Try to have everything to complete the project lying on the bench or floor at the ready.
F.)Pray,cuss or drink mass quantities to relieve tension.Any order that works?
G.)Consult the HAMB daily...

 

Ah forgot the lessons my '60 F100 taught me

Fix that sticky door pull button...

that way you wont have to reach across the cab real quick to catch your girlfriend as the door comes flying open going around a corner....4 years later,... still brings that up!?

If you purchase someone elses hotrod, check the clearence between the fan, and the radiator, before trying to mash the pedal to the floor, you might end up having to replace a radiator after the engine lurches forward and takes a bite outta the core

THERES NO REASON to not hook up the E-Brakes on your ride, saved my ass when my master failed!

Fixing something on the side of the road....SUCKS

All small block Ford starters, are not created equal, long snout, short snout....

Fixing things in a parking lot,...while its raining......REALLY SUCKS

Lastly,...Just because a truck has a "bed", doesnt automaticaly make it the place to do "bed" things, especially without proper padding

 

If you lick it, and it shocks you... it's the hot wire.

~Jason

 

Sex for money is cheaper than sex for free.

 

what accent??

 

Don't run with a friggin' fork in your hand!

 

If you're changing valve springs or seals with the compressed air in the spark plug hole method, make sure the car is in park or gear or someway lock the crank from turning.

 

Hahahaha True!

 

When a chic looks up at you and tells you to take it easy it's her first time,NEVER I repeat NEVER believe her>>>>.

 

Or:

"show me pics of ..."
"...let's see them."
"what color should I paint my ..."
"school me ..."

 

hey could you photoshop that for me??
and then tell me what its worth!!

 

"Will an S-10 frame fit under it?"

 

that even if someone is a HAMB member with a high post count it doesn't automatically make them a reliable person

 

<<<< Case and point...

Wear gauntlet gloves and at the very least a heavy long sleeve shirt when welding. You can put the sleeve out better than you can put your hair out. The helmet goes without saying.

If you don't do this for a living, you can't do this in a hurry.

 

A 20 minute brake job can easily turn into three or four hours of:
- driving back and forth to the parts store
- thrown tools
- damaged knuckles
- lots of swearing
- angry spouse

I take that lesson into everything I work on. That's why my Polara is STILL broke down (f'n starter motor)...

Oh yeah... and don't ever decide it would be "fun-as-hell" to lower the front of your shop-truck with a torch (stupid beer...).

 

there is no such thing as a FREE lunch...or anything for that matter.......

 

If your only going to be in Thailand once, you should still use protection.
CheaterJack