The Jalopy Journal
Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by flynbrian48, Oct 16, 2019.
You sir, are my hero.
I always love it when you are selling a project or a bigger ticket item like and an engine or such and instead of just saying thanks and walking away the guy gives you the line he has to check with his wife first. I then tell him to make sure he runs it by his mother while he's at it.
Man you need to get power of attorney...........I GHOSTED my brother for doing the same things to our folks......no inheritance, no favors, don't know where he is.....I still miss his dumb ass.
Many years ago I was selling a V8 Vega. Guy shows up at the shop, does the walk around, praises the car, then decides he wants to take a tour of my place. I get him stopped at the tarp dividing the place in half. Tell him the car's up here, what's behind the tarp ain't any of his damn business. He says he's sorry, joins my 'be back club' and leaves. Around 2 in the morning I'm clamping up my sprint car frame getting ready to weld when I hear somebody messing with the overhead door. I grab the shotgun and go to investigate. Dumbass is on his knees, balancing a pen light on his shoulder, picking the door lock. I quietly walk over, stick the shotgun in his ear, and rack a shell in the chamber. Mr. Asshat literally shits his pants. While we're waiting for the cops, he's trying to feed me some bullshit about really liking the car and just wanting another look. I, along with the cops didn't believe him. Found out later he was a person of interest in quite a few stolen cars.
FB, I'm really sorry to hear about the wagon.
Glad you guys are okay.
And I'm glad you sold the roadster without having to deal with too much BS. Could have been lots worse, as a many of the guys have attested to.
When I was selling all my stuff a few years ago and I was getting frustrated with morons, Sandy (my wife) told me I was turning into an old curmudgeon... LOL. I finally had to resigned myself to having two talk to about a dozen idiots before Mr. Right comes along. And then it's a great experience and goes like butta.
Still... people making me shake my head so much... LOL.
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A guy had a Ford later model 200 six for sale cheap on Craigslist. I needed An electronic dizzy and carb for my early model six. I watched the add for a couple weeks before I called him. I told him I would give him full price if I could just take those parts off of it. I told him I really didn't another motor laying around. He thought about it for a moment, then asked if I had a truck and could be over to his house in the next hour. He said if I could, I could have it for free. He said when you get here back up to his garage that it would be hanging on a hoist ready to drop into my truck. I bought him a case of beer. He said it runs great, he was just putting a 460 in his Fairmont wagon.
I had a '52 panel truck listed for sale here on the HAMB. I was in a jam for space and motivated to sell fast. It didn't bother me that I got trade offers even though I clearly stated in the ad "NO TRADES". I give 'em the benefit of a doubt that perhaps they have to get rid of something in order to buy something, just like me.
I heard from one flipper, who haunts the classifieds, who apparently wants to make his profit when buying and he lowballs sight unseen. In a moment of weakness, I countered with a number extremely close to his lowball (Did I say I was motivated?) and made it a "today only" deal. He choked and faded to black.
It wasn't too long and I heard from a HAMB member who has an old fashioned buddy with no cell phone, no internet, no "membership", etc. But he builds car projects in his sleep and wants a panel truck to haul around parts and drive himself. So, I talk to both of the gents and explain what value and what issues he will get. He takes me at my word and I'm happy to give him the panel truck for what I consider half price, the same number as the aforementioned lowball, because he's got the skills to fix it up and use it for himself and is not looking to flip it. The truck was shipped and after it arrived the buyer let me know he thought it was a square deal. I have no regrets and I've got a new friend.
I'm real funny about people trying to see what is in my garage. If I'm into something I may not notice them walking up. I have a decent selection of short shotguns and I take one out with me when I'm working. 3" PVC pipe makes for handy scabbards here and there. I keep a tactical hatchet on a hook just inside my front door when I answer to a stranger.
I never understood how someone can ask what’s the lowest you’ll take.....WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING AT IT.....
OK, I'll help you understand. Here goes: The world is full of mouth breathing, window licking, morons with no sense. Did that help at all?
for me I got some weird offers in the last years when I was selling
"would you be interested in a trade with some wine bottles ? " ( and not very good ones )
and when I was selling 1920's microphones : "are they working ? is there a guarantee" yes for a 90 years old microphone there is a guarantee ( HIFI appliances now has an european guarantee of 2 years )
when you sell, you will always met curious people with curious questions
This is why I never get rid of anything, I hate dealing with people!
Misanthropic humanitarians unite!
Two good ones form swapmeets.
The first my father and I were selling at the Lebanon Valley fall oval track swapmeet.
The guy is going back and forth, jerkin my dad around on some parts, "I well I don't know if they will work. Do you think they will work?" Ect...
Finally the guy says "I'll take them, Now if they don't work can I bring them back here next week?"
My dad says" Yes! If they don't work bring them back to this very spot!"
The next was a friend and H.A.M.B. member who was asked at a swapmeet "Will you take my credit card?"
Chris say "Yes", grabs the credit card and puts it in his wallet.
The guy flustered asks "What are you doing!?"
Chris said "You asked me if I would take your credit card." He gave it back at that point, he was a friend of a friend of Chris' as well.
I'm gonna start sellin' shit just so I can get these assholes pingin'.
Early C-list days. I had a guy low ball me via email. He said he knew what the truck was worth and offered about half of my asking price. I was in a playful mood so I told him OK. When he got to my shop I told him that I wanted all of the money before I would let him see the truck. I told him that if he knew what it was worth over the phone then he should pay his price before seeing it. After lots of yelling and name-calling, he got in his truck, slammed the door and took off squealing his tires. That was great but got better when the sheriff was nearby and heard the tire squeal and pulled him over. I still laugh at that one.
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Out here on the farm, we don’t want anybody knowing what we have. No tours, no show and tell, nothing. When I sell stuff, I haul it into town, to The Walmart’s parking lot. People’s mouths go like a trap door to a shithouse and you never know who is listening.
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Ok, you talked me into it. August 2016, Dad and I are at the Chief Blackhawk Antique Motorcycle swap meet in Davenport Iowa, this is on Thursday morning, on Monday I was rushed to the hospital for emergency gall bladder removal surgery. Dad and I already had the van loaded up with stuff for a vendin’. We really need the money and space these parts were taking up. On Thursday after we (Dad) unloaded and set up everything, Fat Frank of the Pickers fame rolls up and starts going through our stuff. I’m in a less than stellar mood anyway and I really don’t like those two anyhow. Fat Frank finds a fringed leather jacket that he likes and tries it on. “How much for the jacket?” A fast nickel being better than a slow dime, I said 35 bucks, waiting for the I’ll give you 5 bucks Picker counter offer. He pulls out 35 clams and forks it over. After he paid, he asked, this isn’t a girls jacket is it? Hell no was my response, it looks great on you! He slides away on a trail of slime and I told Dad that the jacket used to belong to my wife! Dad and I are still laughing about that one!
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I take it you don’t like the guy. Snowman
I always get, "What's the lowest price you'd take?" to which I reply with "What the advertised price is".
I like to ask them to send me a picture of the cash they have to pay for it. Gets the bullshit stopped.
Part I have for sale is, say $100 … guy says " can't you do any better than that'' ?
I think for about half a minute …. OK, then, $125
My iratent favorite:
My ad reads: for sale..black '50 Chevy truck, pics and all.....yada, yada, yada...
First responder: asks what color is the truck.....
Hard to respond to....
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Think I posted these years ago on the HAMB, but since we're comparing moron stories....
Weekly Bargain Mart ad said "1940 Ford pickup, good cab, frame, front and rear suspension only, no motor or trans."
5 different callers wanted to know "How's she run?"
Ran an ad years ago for a 50 Merc coupe for $1500. A guy called, asked a few questions, asked for directions... sent his 60 year old mother to look at it. His mother. His fucking mother.
Mom sniffs, turns up her cute little pig nose, and sez " I expected it to look better than that."
Last thing I said to her was " You don't know dick about 50 Mercs, do you? What do you think $1500 buys? "
Advertised a 40 Ford coupe for $1800 in the same weekly. Yeah, these stories are all older ones. Guy calls, asks questions, acts interested as hell, asks directions, then tries to get me to agree to sell it to him for $1000, without having ever seen it. Told him in every way you can in English that the answer was no, and he hung up mad. Sunday morning at about 7 AM, my then wife woke me up, told me that there were 5 guys at the door. It was the same guy, and he brought all his dumbass friends and cousins with him. A driveway full of inbred goons trying to look tough. If that happened today I would feel like showing them some of my other toys, the really loud ones that cause big holes, but I was a much nicer guy BITD. They finally left when I refused, over and over, to sell at $1000. The wife was watching out the window, and was about to call 911.
So if you're from Chattanooga, and that story resembles you, I hope you enjoyed hauling your empty trailer home with your asshole buddies.
Sold Snap-On Tools for 30 years, heard them all! The best one was from a great customer that I would sometimes buy stuff from. When I would ask how much he wanted for something his response was always “the least I’ll take is the most you’ll pay”! I miss that guy!
So, I have this off topic 4x4 truck for sale. It runs, drives, the brakes work, and the 4x4 works. I have the title, in my name, in the house. It has a rusty frame that has been patched, looks to be a decent patch, but the frame is pretty rusty and there is no battery, $250.
In the past 2 weeks:
I've had guys want to hear it run (OK, I guess that is reasonable.)
I get paid in X number of days, will I hold it for them? (No.)
They love it but have to get the wife to look, her permission to buy it.
Will it last for a year? (I don't know, might last 2 weeks, or might last 2 years, look at the frame.)
If the frame is rusty, you should just give it to me! (The car he was driving had a headlight missing because the fender was rusted away.)
If there is no battery, how will I start it? (Bring a battery with you.)
Will you take a check, it will be good tomorrow? (Come tomorrow, bring cash, and a battery.)
Do you think I can put a snow plow on it? I should be able to get a couple years out of it shouldn't I? (No, because of the condition of the frame.)
Can I hear it run? (Yes.) If I can hear it run, where will the battery come from? (I'll pull one out of my other truck.) Well, if you pull the battery out of your other truck, you should just give me the battery too. (For $250?) Well yea! (You want me to fill it with gas for you too? As I'm walking away.)
Will you take $100 for it? (No.)
Then there are the nit pickers, this is bad, that might be bad blah blah blah. (What are you expecting for $250?)
Tomorrow may be interesting, there are suppose to be 4 different people here with the money. Anyone want to take bets on how many will show?
I am amazed what people expect a $250 truck to do. Gene
I've not been in a good mood lately, but this thread has given me some good laughs. Almost brought tears to my eyes from laughing so hard. Thanks. Seriously.
If I could remember these one-liners, I'd be the Rodney Dangerfield of swap meets. .
& then there's the restorer-mentalities: I want a fully restored (fixed-up/hot-rodded/etc) car/truck, full tank of gas, new battery, new tires, freshly washed/waxed, delivered in an enclosed trailer, you pay the taxes/etc, for a $1.98USD. & don't forget my 2 cents! WTF? & can't read the ad, or look at the pic... Just what does PROJECT CAR MEAN TO YOU?????
Swap meet story. This has happened every year at least once.
Parts laid out with price tags. Guy will walk up and say part X is way over priced. 'I can buy them all day long for half that' is the usual comment.
I hand them a business card and tell them I'll buy all they can get and they can double their money.
Still waiting for one of those guys to call me.
I really enjoyed when I had my 41 ply for sale on craigslist and a guy offered me his worn out,beatup old work truck, but also included also a antique slot machine he said was worth $6000. All I could text back was No thanks. I couldn't believe his offer. Exterminator
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