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History Seemed like a good idea at the time.Post your epic fails.

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by partsdawg, Nov 9, 2019.

  1. partsdawg
    Joined: Feb 12, 2006
    Posts: 2,992

    from Minnesota

    Reading HRP's engine swap thread and some of the funny stories about what was done when we were younger and inexperienced made me wonder what other bright ideas that didn't turn out as planned stories there are.
    Let's keep it Hamb related.
  2. Lerenzo Rawson
    Joined: Jul 9, 2019
    Posts: 128

    Lerenzo Rawson

    On my pontiac I cut the flat tire off with an angle grinder because the lug nut stripped round and tried to put the new one on with the tire mounted. Well, the lugs twist backwards. The more you know huh?

    Sent from my LM-Q710(FGN) using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
    slim38, blowby, loudbang and 5 others like this.
  3. dana barlow
    Joined: May 30, 2006
    Posts: 4,425

    dana barlow
    from Miami Fla.
    1. Y-blocks

    Mid 1960s. A buddy ask if,I could help him fix the bad synchronizers in his VW bug,I never worked on one,but done sync. on other cars and he was a good friend. So we want at it.
    Got it back together,and test showed we now had one speed forward and lots of speeds backing up.
    Turned out we flipped the ring gear. LOL
    belair, flatheadpete, clem and 7 others like this.
  4. DDDenny
    Joined: Feb 6, 2015
    Posts: 15,159

    from oregon

    Queue the "here, hold my beer" videos!
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2019
    vetteguy402 likes this.

  5. eaglebeak
    Joined: Sep 17, 2007
    Posts: 1,200


    Sorry, no picture. But, I was running stainless steel brake lines on my Model A frame.
    The flares were turning out really well and it was starting to look good. I ran a line across the front crossmember and hooked up to those tubes that go through the frame. I stood back to admire my work when I realized I didn't add a "T" to supply the line. It did look good though.
    dana barlow and VANDENPLAS like this.
  6. john walker
    Joined: Sep 11, 2008
    Posts: 1,117

    john walker

    At least you put the fitting on the line before you flared it.
  7. " on unclogging clogged cans of paint":

    So this is what I did:
    One summer morning,i was working on a few things all at once.
    I was building a tiny 4×6 flatbed utility trailer out of a 1935 chevy axle.
    All it needed was the 2x8 boards cut.

    At the same time I was trying to dissmount about 10 tires out of their wheels with my little HF manual tire changer that I bolted to the floor.

    I was working on one floor with tires scattered around me.
    When this particular 17.5 big ass wheel/tire got to hard to dissmount,I was so angry and frustrated that i pulled the grinder and cutoff wheel and started to cut the tire off.
    What a fucking,hot dirty mess that was!
    Unsuccessful,i threw everything on the ground and quit.
    Hot and sweaty,black rubber dust in my face and hair,tripping over tires...
    I was Red Green on meth.
    I decided to at least prime the damed trailer before taking a shower and drink more beer.
    I knew I had 2 cans of rustoleum Rusty red primer on a shelf that I bought like 6 months before that I didnt used.

    I went hunting for them and found them where I left them,how lucky.
    I pulled my Makita Reciprocating saw with the "special" rattle can shaker blade(idea stolen from the HAMB)
    I proceeded to angrily shake the shit out of them for around 10mins each.
    Finally locked and loaded with 1 spray bomb in each hand,I began to prime the rails.
    .....the pos cans were clogged!!
    .....both of them.
    I tried changing tips,I cleaned the tips with laquer thinner,i tried to shake them but no cigar.
    One the cans fell and the tip broke inside the can..oh that was it!!!
    I took a screw and tried to fish that little pos broken plastic tubbing with no avail.

    So Out comes the battery powered drill with an 1/8" drill bit to carefully dig the remaining plastic tubbing that way I could just insert a new tip and try to prime the stupid frame.

    I was carefully drilling that plastic out when I went in a microshittymeter too deep and the can with all its might,shot a cold,cloggy stream of paint directly to my face.

    I put my finger on the hole as hard as I could but I was blinded by paint so I tripped on a tire,caught my self then backed out and stepped on a wheel hole,my boot got stuck,fell on my ass while holding a paint grenade with one hand trying not call for help.
    Finally the paint dried in one eye that I could see.

    It got in my eyes.
    It got in my fucking teeth,my hair,my neck!!!ohhh it was a mess!!
    But now I had in my hand a new years bottle of champagne just gooshing out a fountain of shit brown primer..
    And thats how I primed my trailer,with an uncontrollable stream of shitbown primer,as if my trailer had won a formula1 and i was showering it with champagne.
    Hell,Im not about to waste a good can of primer when the closest HD is 120 miles away....

    ....but wait,theres more!!!
    Remember I had TWO of these shit cans?
    Well the same thing happend with the second one...except,i knew what i was about to endure.
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2019
    slim38, Lil'Alb, Cosmo49 and 47 others like this.
  8. rc57
    Joined: Feb 7, 2007
    Posts: 586


    When I first got my '64 Plymouth, I snapped off 2 studs on the driver's side. Then my dad walked by and said "Oh by the way, drivers side are left hand thread". Darned teenagers.
  9. rusty rocket
    Joined: Oct 30, 2011
    Posts: 4,267

    rusty rocket

    I went thru three wilwood hydro clutch slave cylinders on my 32. Each on worked flawless for about 200 miles and then shit out. I finally figured out that the way I had mounted it it was binding and galling the cylinder inside. I ended up rebuilding the mount so the cylinder floated thus allowing it to move with the arc of the clutch fork. Man it was super aggravating but I won in the end.
    JWindsor13, Boneyard51 and VANDENPLAS like this.
  10. Black_Sheep
    Joined: May 22, 2010
    Posts: 1,268


    There have been many, but I've never felt the need to document my failures with pictures...

    The worst was during the build of a '69 Plymouth. The car was on dollies in the garage when I fired it up. I put my foot on the brake and dropped it into drive to check some work I'd done. I had forgotten that the rear brakes were not connected as it was still in the mock up phase and the diff would have to come back out to fully weld the spring perches. The dollies under the rear tires shot out and ricocheted off my tool box and the GTX took off out the open garage door (thank goodness) with the front wheels still on dollies so the front brakes wouldn't stop the car. I jammed it into park just before crashing into the basketball pole cemented in place next to the driveway. No real harm was done, but it was an epic fail no less...
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2019
    slim38, Lil'Alb, Rathbone and 15 others like this.
  11. williebill
    Joined: Mar 1, 2004
    Posts: 2,799


    I nominate Iwanaflattie for story of the day.
    Even more awesome cause we all knew how that story was going to end...
  12. Helped my teenage bud change kingpins on his '49 Ford back in the '60's. Damn, were they hard to hammer in! Steering was nigh impossible, but had to get home as it was starting to snow. Bout halfway there when going into a left hand turn, heard a pop, then bang, then a series of donuts in the snow. We were able to actually sort of drive it to the local gas station and my father's mechanic friend asked what happened. Told him we think we got the wrong kingpins and he asked about a reamer. Duh!
    Boneyard51 likes this.
  13. Lerenzo Rawson
    Joined: Jul 9, 2019
    Posts: 128

    Lerenzo Rawson

    My man, pictures of this trailer would absolutely make my day. That was a hell of a story.

    Sent from my LM-Q710(FGN) using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
    Lil'Alb, Spooky and Boneyard51 like this.
  14. X-cpe
    Joined: Mar 9, 2018
    Posts: 1,208


    Edacashun ain't cheep!
    Boneyard51 likes this.
  15. Truck64
    Joined: Oct 18, 2015
    Posts: 4,815

    from Ioway

    Horn was inop. Removed it and had it on the bench hooked up directly to a 12 volt battery. I figured WD40 might work to free up the mechanism. Maybe a bug got in there and made a nest or something.

    I shot a big ole slug of WD in there and let it soak for a while, and started tapping on it. Nothing. So eventually (you can see where this is going) I end up staring at right at it pointed at my face it and wondering "Why won't this thing wo..."; it kind of gurgled and heard this loud "KACHUK!!!" and then it worked really good and loud as it sprayed WD40 all into my face.
  16. Jrs50
    Joined: Jun 4, 2019
    Posts: 212


    I would pay good money to watch this unfold
  17. TheSteamDoc
    Joined: Jul 14, 2018
    Posts: 237


    These stories are great. I'll never forget this and why I leave the detailing and body work to the pros. I was washing my Chevy and had a grand idea on how I was gonna get rid of some scratches and thought "hell, I'll try a green scotch brite pad, not to aggressive". So I went over a few small scratches. Truck is still wet and I'm thinking "damn, looks good!". Que the shammy time. Getting her all dry and then it happens. I got flat spots in the clear now! Apparently, it was more aggressive than I thought it was and took some clear! My dad walks out and says "shit, your truck looks like it has leprecy!" I'll never do that again! Never did fix it though. I was afraid to have more ah f**k moments!
    Boneyard51 likes this.
  18. I have posted this story before on the "reversed wheels" thread, but since it is one of my classic screw-ups, I will post it again:

    My first attempt at reversing wheels did not end well. I was a teenager living with my parents in an old frame house with a crawl space underneath. I had drilled the rivets out of the wheels and had a sturdy bottle jack, but no way to press the centers out of the rims. The bright idea was to place the wheel under the house with the bottle jack in the center and jack against the sill of the house.
    I began pumping the jack, but the center did not move. I kept pumping, but still the center still stayed in the rim. Then I heard my parents yelling something inside the house. I went in to find that all the plaster had fallen off the bathroom ceiling. (Strangely, the bathroom was directly above where I had been jacking against the wheel.) I quickly and quietly went back out and dismantled my makeshift arbor press. My parents never could figure out why the bathroom ceiling collapsed.
    slim38, Lil'Alb, Driver50x and 14 others like this.
  19. upspirate
    Joined: Apr 15, 2012
    Posts: 2,278


    Back in HS, I couldn't afford air shocks, but needed the rear up a little for that "rake" and tire clearance. Used those clamp-on helper springs.Worked OK till the spring rubbed through the steel brake line on the rear and blew through a red light with no brakes! (luckily no-one crossing)
    Same car, changing auto to a stick trans,we set the car on blocks under the tires,set the parking brake, but failed to think when the cross-member was pulled, the PB would be disconnected. Wrestled that auto trans out from under, and was resting looking at what we accomplished when the car rolled off the blocks!:eek: High School Buick.jpg
    Spooky, 66gmc and Boneyard51 like this.
  20. ClarkH
    Joined: Jul 21, 2010
    Posts: 1,099


    In my day, I think most guys learned the purpose of a coil spring compressor in high school shop class. But I got my education working alone after hours at the Texaco. Fortunately the spring missed me, but it kinda did a number on my boss's toolbox.
    To his credit, all he said was he was glad I was OK, and he didn't even rescind my after-hours access to the shop.
  21. We could probably just stop after iwannaflatty’s story. I was flat howling as I read and then at the end realized it’s because at least that shit happens to someone besides me..

    — I do have my ‘51 up on dollies at the moment and could picture me doing that fiasco too though, so a good honorable mention for that.
    Thanks for the laughs
  22. winduptoy
    Joined: Feb 19, 2013
    Posts: 2,508


    Didn't happen to me but I was an innocent bystander...
    Got a call from my buddy who's brother had bought a Model A Roadster PU.
    He said they had the transmission apart for the third time and couldn't find why it only had one forward speed and three reverse and wanted to know if I would come look at the transmission.
    I ummed and awed...and said I'd come help them take the rear end out and change the ring gear to the other side.
  23. turdmagnet
    Joined: May 19, 2008
    Posts: 382


    Been there done that !!!!! But it did get the bug guts off quick!!!

    Sent from my iPad using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
    TheSteamDoc and Spooky like this.
  24. 1pickup
    Joined: Feb 20, 2011
    Posts: 1,087


    I ain't posting pics of the mother of my children.
  25. GTS225
    Joined: Jul 2, 2006
    Posts: 1,192



    Oh, SHIT.......That's good!:D:D:D:D:D
    (and we need more smilies.)

  26. Lerenzo Rawson
    Joined: Jul 9, 2019
    Posts: 128

    Lerenzo Rawson

    Anybody got more stories? I think this could be a pretty good thread if kept alive!

    Sent from my LM-Q710(FGN) using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
    fourspeedwagon likes this.
  27. Mr48chev
    Joined: Dec 28, 2007
    Posts: 29,742


    Well there is no way to top Iwanaflattie but back when I was building my T bucket I had just got the 283 back together and set in the chassis and wanted to fire it up. I had it all together and went to start it and shot flames out of the carb to the ceiling.. Fussed with it off and on for the next couple of days and one night I am laying in bed at about 2:30 in the morning and wake up with the revelation that I had wired it with the firing order my 350R Olds engine had and not the firing order for my 283. Bailed out of bed reversed the wires and busted it off open megaphone headers and all. I don't think the neighbors were real happy with me for a few days though.
  28. Mr48chev
    Joined: Dec 28, 2007
    Posts: 29,742


    I had results not too different than I wanaflattie had with his spray can when I had read the thread about the glass marbles in spray cans and decided to save a couple from some old cans that had been laying around here for years. I threw the shirt away and spent about a a half hour cleaning my glasses on that one. Just because they have been on the shelf in a garage for years and the nozzle was broken off and they froze at least one winter doesn't mean paint won't spray everywhere out of a hole you poke in the side of one. The next ones got sat out by the driveway and shot with my pellet gun.
  29. Started tearing into my o/t vw bug one day in high school, had a day off so me and three friends spent the day stripping the car down to the pan to replace the floors etc.
    Dad comes home to a big body sitting on saw horses a engine on a tire and all the assorted bits scattered across the lawn ( we lived in a generic neighbourhood with small 40’ x 100’ lots.
    Dad walks up the driveway and goes “ there’s a fucking car on the lawn !!!”

    oblivious, I go “ yeah , I’m replacing the floors “

    agsin Dad—“ there’s a fucking car. On saw horses. On.the.fucking.lawn !!!”

    me— ok dad relax what am I supposed to do!

    how I did not get my bell ring is beyond me that day!

    Pulling the gauges out to replace them with auto meter crap in my buddies camaro, of course with the dash dismantled and gauges, radio , heater all out we had to drive the car the 1.5 miles to the store to buy smokes and promptly shorted out the wiring in the car and burnt the car to the ground!!

    on the same vein, in that same bug that was in pieces on the lawn, put it together and there was, I say was, a cardboard type cover to go over the battery that was under the horse hair and metal spring back seat. I thought it was some junk the previous owner stuffed in there.
    Anyways driving around my buddy Brian was complaining how hot the back seat was.
    I told him it’s cause he’s a fat fuck sitting on a vinyl seat, well the battery set the horse hair on fire and as it happened I drove by a grocery store, at the entrance was a big 20lb extinguisher so car, seat, and Brian’s fat ass all saved, but that yellow powder was a disaster to get rid of.

    There’s more , but I’m not going that far into my stupidity.
    Some people are sharp as a knife.
    I’m about as sharp as a used crayon left out in the sun in most days !
  30. Straight Axle Guy
    Joined: Oct 21, 2018
    Posts: 58

    Straight Axle Guy

    I think I was 13 when I bought my first car, a 1930 Ford 2dr sdn .....I wanted to be a hot rodder so bad, so I chopped and channeled the sedan...... well I channeled it so much I couldn't get my foot on the brake or gas between the dash board and the floorboard! I had no idea of what I was doing, I just wanted to be a hot rodder!!!!!!!
    Lepus likes this.

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