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Hot Rods Quotes to live by...

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Boneyard51, Apr 2, 2018.

  1. Donut Dave
    Joined: Jul 9, 2007
    Posts: 325

    Donut Dave
    Member

    3 things that never lie:
    Three year old child
    Drunk old men and
    Yoga pants....
     
  2. Hemi Joel
    Joined: May 4, 2007
    Posts: 536

    Hemi Joel
    Member
    from Minnesota

    A client of mine bought an apartment building in a very desirable location. I asked him if he got it for a good price. He said no, he had to pay top dollar, and then have me a couple bits of his wisdom: "When you buy dogs, you own dogs." & "When you buy the best, it only hurts once."
     
  3. Hemi Joel
    Joined: May 4, 2007
    Posts: 536

    Hemi Joel
    Member
    from Minnesota

    "seek not to be understood, but to understand"
     
  4. bundoc bob
    Joined: Dec 31, 2015
    Posts: 102

    bundoc bob

    When I pissed off Gran as a snot-nosed kid, you could be sure she would throw her ceegar at you if the slobbery end was anywhere close to the same length as the stinky end, and if I really pissed her off she would always say "if they shoved your brain up a mosquito's ass it would rattle like a BB in a boxcar" Never figured out if she really loved me, but I think she did. No one else would let a 6 year old drink beer.
     
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  5. Hemi Joel
    Joined: May 4, 2007
    Posts: 536

    Hemi Joel
    Member
    from Minnesota

    There was a sign behind the bar at Medina Ballroom: "Profanity is the feable attempt of a dull mind to express itself forcibly."
     
  6. razoo lew
    Joined: Apr 11, 2017
    Posts: 240

    razoo lew
    Member
    from Calgary

    I could agree with you and then we’d both be wrong.....
     
  7. Ned Ludd
    Joined: May 15, 2009
    Posts: 3,788

    Ned Ludd
    Member

    “A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it.” - G. K. Chesterton, in The Everlasting Man.
     
  8. 19Fordy
    Joined: May 17, 2003
    Posts: 5,999

    19Fordy
    Member

    When speaking of a very good person........ My own quote.

    "The mirror of your life
    reveals the goodness of your soul.
    Thanks for sharing the reflection."
     
    chryslerfan55 likes this.
  9. theHIGHLANDER
    Joined: Jun 3, 2005
    Posts: 7,543

    theHIGHLANDER
    Member

    A convo between 2 friends:

    "I knew there was a god when we invented spandex."

    "I knew there was a devil when there's no size limit."

    Insert yoga pants for current fashion...:eek:
     
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  10. You can't live with them and you can't live with them:
    IMG_8048.jpg
     
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  11. conestogaman
    Joined: May 6, 2005
    Posts: 17

    conestogaman
    Member

    Zen Master..


    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G891A using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
     
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  12. sevenhills1952
    Joined: Mar 14, 2018
    Posts: 558

    sevenhills1952

    Dr. Pepper really burns snorted through my sinuses...thanks for that picture of Jackie Gleason's Mom. :)

    Sent from my SM-S320VL using Tapatalk... Gary from Virginia
     
  13. 42˚18'N 83˚09'W
    Joined: Jul 29, 2008
    Posts: 110

    42˚18'N 83˚09'W
    Member

    A few gems I have gathered over the years...

    "If you don't know, Ask"... my Dad

    "There is nothing worse than a bad idea whose time has come"… my best friends Dad

    "Those who would disrespect our flag have never been handed a folded one."

    “TOLERANCE IS THE LAST VIRTUE OF A DYING SOCIETY” ARISTOTLE

    "Better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

    "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice!"

    and my signature,

    "Logical consequences are the scarecrows of fools and the beacons of wise men." Thomas Huxley
     
  14. sevenhills1952
    Joined: Mar 14, 2018
    Posts: 558

    sevenhills1952

    Some good ones from the ladies...

    "I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet"

    Helen Keller

    "Do one thing every day that scares you"

    Eleanor Roosevelt

    Sent from my SM-S320VL using Tapatalk... Gary from Virginia
     
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  15. He who will not when he may. when he will shall have nay.
     
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  16. Trying is a effort in futility. Every person you ever seen who failed. the first started down that path by Trying! quote by Homer Simpson.
     
  17. sevenhills1952
    Joined: Mar 14, 2018
    Posts: 558

    sevenhills1952

    Friend of mine said his psychology professor in college asked a pretty girl in the front row "would you go to bed with me for a million dollars?".
    "Sure I would" she replied.
    "Then how about a dollar?" teacher asks.
    "What do you think I am!?!?" She answers.
    "We've already established that" he said "Now we're just negotiating a price".

    Sent from my SM-S320VL using Tapatalk... Gary from Virginia
     
  18. Never, I mean never, add up your receipts.
     
    RMONTY, pitman, 4barrel and 4 others like this.
  19. gene-koning
    Joined: Oct 28, 2016
    Posts: 973

    gene-koning
    Member

    When your building a hot rod, its all the little stuff you need just before its done that kills a budget.
     
    lonejacklarry and 4barrel like this.
  20. 42˚18'N 83˚09'W
    Joined: Jul 29, 2008
    Posts: 110

    42˚18'N 83˚09'W
    Member

    I forgot this gem from Robin Williams RIP
    "God gave man a penis and a brain
    But only enough blood to run one at a time."
     
    Ned Ludd and Clay Belt like this.
  21. theHIGHLANDER
    Joined: Jun 3, 2005
    Posts: 7,543

    theHIGHLANDER
    Member

    Women's breasts are proof that men can focus on more than 1 thing at a time.
     
    Truck64, chryslerfan55 and Clay Belt like this.
  22. Yoda ,
    There is no "try" , only do or do not
     
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  23. ochamsrasor
    Joined: Aug 16, 2007
    Posts: 207

    ochamsrasor
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    "Too soon old, too late smart"
     
    Truck64 likes this.
  24. sevenhills1952
    Joined: Mar 14, 2018
    Posts: 558

    sevenhills1952

    I always liked this one from Mother Teresa.

    “We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.
    We have done so much, with so little, for so long, we are now qualified to do anything, with nothing.”

    Sent from my SM-S320VL using Tapatalk... Gary from Virginia
     
    chryslerfan55 and Road Runner like this.
  25. verde742
    Joined: Aug 11, 2010
    Posts: 4,747

    verde742
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    You can NEVER pay to MUCH for a toilet seat....

    And Get the facts accurate, only then can you distort them as much as you want.....
     
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  26. ramblin dan
    Joined: Apr 16, 2018
    Posts: 1,038

    ramblin dan

  27. Bluestone
    Joined: Dec 25, 2016
    Posts: 30

    Bluestone

    She is Justiina, Pekka Puupääs wife..

     
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  28. Engine man
    Joined: Jan 30, 2011
    Posts: 3,474

    Engine man
    Member
    from Wisconsin

  29. Truck64
    Joined: Oct 18, 2015
    Posts: 2,762

    Truck64
    Member
    from Ioway

    And then I said "Hey ! Can I have your shoes? You won't be needing them."

    Steven Wright

    I would say doing Eleanor Roosevelt would have been prety goddamned scary. Does that count?
     
  30. X-cpe
    Joined: Mar 9, 2018
    Posts: 371

    X-cpe

    The older I get, the better I was.
     
    Boneyard51 likes this.

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