I'm in shock as my hobby is being taken from me!

Wow Ricky, great post.
Unless you have walked that road yourself as a primary care giver, you don't understand it.
Watching someone else do it doesn't count as being qualified to give an opinion on it. Knowing someone who's done it and being involved vicariously doesn't count, and observing as a child isn't even up for discussion.

 

I was my mother's caregiver,moving into her house for 11 months. Have 2 sisters,and neither lived here,so they were no help. I spent 40K in legal fees to keep Mom in her own STATE,after one of the sisters filed guardian papers,in order to take over her funds. Legal battles suck,as do lawyers,judges,all of it. This is .00001% of what I dealt with,but remember a couple of things...

No fight worse than a family fight. Period.
Don't be afraid of lawyers. If you get a call from the opposing attorney,and he/she fucks with you,don't get sucked into anything,feel free to hang up. I had every trick in the book tried on me,I finally figured out how to turn it back on my sister. You can laugh,tell them to fuck off,and hang up the phone. That will not hurt you.
CHANGE THE LOCKS,change your phone number,and stop talking about this on the internet. Knowledge is power,and your adversaries just might know you post on the HAMB,and read this.
Don't cooperate with anybody involved,except your attorney. Don't try to be nice,don't try to be civil,don't try to explain your position. This is how people get their ass kicked in divorce cases. Too late,they realize that this battle isn't like anything before. Too many guys say "She would NEVER do that",right before she breaks it off in their ass.
Good luck.

 

Exactly, 31V! Well put.

I just wanted to express, that regardless of any conceivable particulars, MG deserves a big helping of respect for what he did. He sacrificed his own time and well-being for FIVE WHOLE YEARS. And it's not our place to grill the OP, question his intentions or actions, or speculate on any other peripheral aspects.

"Just looking for sympathy?" "Be a man?"...

Only natural to need sympathy...empathy...support...whatever, when you're hurting. It's a strange, empty, sad feeling to act so selflessly, yet to be discounted so readily.

Yet, in the final analysis...the true reward is in the act itself. MG...stick up for yourself. Take care of yourself the best you can, and be proud. You did good. If worse comes to worse...cut your losses and run...and never look back.

 

There are two sibes to every story. We have been going through the same crap with my wifes brother. I dont have any sympathy for you. You always knew it wasnt 100% yours. your siblings wanting to sell and get their share doesnt make them bad people. They have a legal right to sue and demand partition for division. You should man up and move and let it sell, Take your share and buy something that you will own. also any exrta cost by your delaying tactics can and likely will be deducted from your share. you also since you are the tenant in possession are legally responsible for the Taxes & upkeep. Grow up quit poor mouthing and sell your assetts & move out. I know its not what you want to hear but in not posting to be politically correct . I wanted to present a different viewpoint. I hope you recieve everything you deserve and deserve everything you recieve.

 

rickybop I've never backpeddled in my life and I don't intend to start now. As mentioned my family played primary caregiver till my grandmothers death for most of my childhood, and again years later as an adult for my grandfather who battled altheismers. I work with drug addicts, single moms, and poverty stricken families everyday as a "living" because I love people and I want only the best for them.

Jim mentioned not being able to eat or sleep, and feeling helpless. Also that his hobby is being taken away from him. That's a HEAVY level of depression and a LARGE statement to make. First off no part of anything he posted warranted this level of depression. It only suggested that he's going to have to start paying a mortage, move to another place in a hurry, or sell some of his things, to which I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for any of that, we all do these things on a daily basis. Secondly no one would assume he's building vehicles and collecting parts, when he's legally blind without a drivers license.Third, to say he's "to poor to pay attention" but mention all of the assests collection dust on his property, doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, and finally, most importantly NO ONE can just take this hobby away from him, that's completely in his head. He may have to modify the way he's been doing things to continue what he enjoys, but to say that someone is going to take a hobby away from him is completely unrealistic. Only he can allow that to happen.

rickybop, Jim, anyone else who's taken the time to read through this post and the things I've said, I've taken NOTHING away from the OP for what he did for his dad. I've experienced this first hand as well. It's exhausting, expensive, time consuming, and incredibly difficult, but "life sucking" no. More rewarding than most oppurtunities given in this lifetime. This can be overcome, this will be ok, but worst things have happened, and worst things will happen. This is life, and it's hard.

 

Well said Rickybop! My wife and I are living through this right now, providing the care of an elder parent in our home. This is a 24/7/365 commitment. There are no breaks and no vacations. I'm an only child so there's no one to help, but even in families where there are others to help it often rests on the shoulders of one or two to do the heavy lifting. It is a demanding and often thankless job, but it's the right thing to do and we do it and get through it the best we can. After 1 1/2 years I can fully understand the statement that it "sucks the life out of you". I have the utmost respect for ANYONE who has done it or is doing it.

I think it's unfair to lash out at this guy who is probably feeling a profound send of desperation and just needs to reach out to some like-minded people and vent a little. Cut the guy some slack.

I sincerely hope that this all gets worked out the best possible way for everyone concerned.

 

I met some guys at Salina at the KKOA drags who were staunch single mother supporters. Lippy

 

I have my dad living in my basement suite now. He doesn't need much care now, he is recovering pretty well (77, two heart attacks and a stroke) But he still forgets stuff alot, and I have to kind of keep an eye on him.
But when he first got out of the hospital,the Dr's and so on advised me to put him in a home. Pretty sure if I had, he'd be dead now, and he figures the same thing. He needed quite a bit of care at first, and if he had been stuck in a home, he wouldn't have had the strength of will to recover the way he has.
And yes, I agree with the general consesus here, your relatives are not very nice people. Lawyer up, NOW. I had to get a lawyer before my dad was even out of the hospital, just to deal with the government. Silly old bugger didnt have a will or anything, they wanted to get control of his assets.

 

Ya got that right.

"How can people be so heartless?
How can people be so cruel?
Easy to be hard
Easy to be cruel..."

 

As mentioned my family played primary caregiver till my grandmothers death for most of my childhood, and again years later as an adult for my grandfather who battled altheismers.

Did you do it, did you take leave from your job. were you there day in day out ?

You are pretty articulate in your writing, this says that your family gave the care. Perhaps as a group effort with support, but it doesn't say that you were the primary care giver for your grandfather.

 

Thanks for the replies sparkydeluxe. I just hope that you never have to go through this type of situation.

 

Good luck man. A good counsel is worth the money spent.

 

Oh...he will...as will we all, eventually...one way or the other. More often than most realize, it can work the other way too. You can get a caregiver that takes complete advantage...stealing, innatentiveness, or downright emotional, physical, or even sexual abuse. A good caregiver is a Godsend, but not gauranteed.

 

Im shock that this topic is posted here ..

Drama much ?

 

Wow...some of you people...

As my dead mother said to me as a kid..."if you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all"

All of you ass holes that are saying man up, and sucks to be you....you guys should really thing twice about even opening your mouths or typing on a computer, or hell, even breathing....

Jim is one of the best people out there. He's gone through lots of shit the last few years that i've know him. He's the kinda of guy that has a hugh heart and willing to help strangers...like me years ago. I needed a part for my car, he didn't know me and offered to me to come over rummage through his stuff and find what i need, other than a screen name on a web site, didn't know me from anyone. How many strangers would you let dig around in your parts stash?

What does Jim need right now? Advice, advice from people that have been through this and suggestions on what he can do so he doesn't get screwed outta his life. Everyone that has posted the stupid negative comments(or thinking about posting negative comments), i'd ask politley to just go away, why waste your time or anyone that cares time reading your stupid opinions, no one gives a fuck about you or your ideas.

Now if this post was about how to tune a carb, would you guys just tell him to suck it up, or to dump the car and move on? Really? Or would you offer suggestions on how to adjust it and make it right? Hopefully the morons will understand what i'm saying here.....

Jim, good things happen to good people...and that's you. You got my number if i can do anything, call me, i'm there for you.

Let's keep this thread on topic with help and suggestions, not stupid negative comments and guys arguing about stupid comments they have made and trying to justify the dumb stuff they say. If you honestly feel you need to say something negative, feel free to PM it to me first and maybe we can talk about it prior to you posting it and looking like an ass.

Rickybop...very well put...thanks

 

Can you request this, I wonder?

 

One sister and I took care of our parents for many years. Twice a day some one had to give dad his insilun shots and dole out their pills. My wife & sons helped. Along with one sisters family. mom had mild altimers. anyone who has cared for the elderly will eventually become burnt out. When we finally where forced to put them in the nursing home and where spending $7000 per month of the parent,s the other assetts 5 children came out and the lawsuits began. Dad & mom are now gone and the probate is just starting. I will recieve 1/7 of whatever is left. I hope their isnt anything left.. I didnt expect anything extrafor helping my folks its just something good family does.