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Projects How not to build a hotrod - My '33 Plymouth

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Johnny Sparkle, Jan 6, 2018.

  1. Johnny Sparkle
    Joined: Sep 20, 2003
    Posts: 1,107

    Johnny Sparkle

    Best reply so far. Reach for the stars!
    I have a buddy with a project I'm thinking about. It won't take much, just an engine swap...
    OahuEli, dwollam, gonzo and 4 others like this.
  2. Johnny Sparkle
    Joined: Sep 20, 2003
    Posts: 1,107

    Johnny Sparkle

    Just hit all the things with hammers! Done!
  3. Vanness
    Joined: Aug 5, 2017
    Posts: 389


    Nice build. Welcome to real life. If it was easy everyone would be doing it, add a wife or kids to the mix and watch progress slow to a Crawl.
    This is how most of us build these anyways minus the few small percentage. It’s was makes it fun and gives us stories - anyone can buy some nice brookville panels and perfect sub frames and rails but it takes talent to pull a car from the woods or junkyard and weld rust back together! Carry on, I know I will - even with pictures to show the mess .....
    slim38 likes this.
  4. Hammers you say? I've been whispering sweet nothings, blowing gentle kisses at my cars and getting nowhere fast.
    57 Fargo and Doctorterry like this.
  5. Hahahahahahahaha
    Doctorterry likes this.
  6. The37Kid
    Joined: Apr 30, 2004
    Posts: 24,368


    Really glad I got the call from my Chevrolet friend telling me to read this build thread. Looking forward to you explaining how to wire my car.

  7. 48fordnut
    Joined: Nov 4, 2005
    Posts: 3,224


    Your keyboard skills are equally as good as your fab skills. Awesome work.
    Doctorterry and chevy54man like this.
  8. Russco
    Joined: Nov 27, 2005
    Posts: 3,954

    from Central IL

    He’s kinda dreamy too...
    Peanut 1959 and Johnny Sparkle like this.
  9. Mike Colemire
    Joined: May 18, 2013
    Posts: 639

    Mike Colemire

    This is a very entertaining thread. Your fab work, as has been said, is awesome. Only got 1 question, what brand and size hammer do you use? I must be using the wrong one.
  10. rjones35
    Joined: May 12, 2008
    Posts: 826


    Great thread! Car is looking killer!!
  11. Johnny Sparkle
    Joined: Sep 20, 2003
    Posts: 1,107

    Johnny Sparkle

    Oh, that's easy.
    Step 1: Meticulously lay out your wires.
    Step 2: Solder all connections, shrink tube all the things.
    Step 3: Wrap tape or some wire loom, covering all the wires for protection.
    Step 4: Carefully space out and attach about 487 zip ties.
    Step 5: Realize you forgot the license plate light wire.
    Step 6: You don't have a license plate light.
    Step 7: But what if you add one later? Think about this while drinking and watching Carl Sagan's Cosmos.
    Step 8: Cut 487 zip ties.
    Step 9: Start to unwrap the wires you lovingly cocooned earlier when you were happy and naive.
    Step 10: WTF? Why did I wrap this tape counterclockwise?!? Why did I use four pieces of tape?!?! Invent more curse words. Hit 5 syllables. Feel almost happy about that accomplishment.
    Step 11: Route licence plate wire.
    Step 12. Crimp those connectors. Screw soldering. It'll be fine. You used up all the shrink tube anyway.
    Step 13. Hatefully throw tape and wire loom on there.
    Step 14: Use only 142 zip ties. Don't cut the excess off the zip ties. Let them hang out like a bunch of skin tags. You'll cut them some other time. Whatever. It's done.
    Step 15: Drink and watch Carl Sagan's Cosmos.
    Step 16: Notice the next day that your LF turn signal is mixed up with your RR turn signal.
    Step 17: Repeat.

    I have several. I don't know the brands, they are mostly hand-me-downs. One has a square head and a handle. One is really big with a handle. I also have one that has a round head, which also has a handle. Also, one really big one without a handle.

    I also have one with a waffle-looking head, but it just screws stuff up. I don't use it. Except for the handle. Sometimes I use it's handle to hold panels down when I'm tack welding.
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2018
    kbgreen, Turbo57, Okie Pete and 25 others like this.
  12. Mike Colemire
    Joined: May 18, 2013
    Posts: 639

    Mike Colemire

    You are good, your wiring reminds me of the last dragster I wired, painfully reminds me.
    48fordnut likes this.
  13. flynbrian48
    Joined: Mar 10, 2008
    Posts: 6,003


    26056125_10215787523863693_652393870731245045_n.jpg I must have done something wrong, my left blinker came on with the turn signal level pulled down. Odd. I like to use crimp connectors and no shrink tubing because: A. I always have do things twice, so I may as well start out with crimp terminals and stay with it, and, B. I've always done it this way, why do it right at this point?
    Turbo57, Okie Pete, OahuEli and 4 others like this.
  14. williebill
    Joined: Mar 1, 2004
    Posts: 2,179


    If you'd only posted all this stuff years ago, I could have saved a shitload of time.
    Thanks a helluva lot.
  15. falconsprint63
    Joined: May 17, 2007
    Posts: 2,340

    from Mayberry

    ha. great thread. it was great the first time from my phone without pics. just as good, perhaps better second go round. I totally feel ya. been piddling on the avatar 10 years now--it wasn't pretty but it ran when I got it...
  16. Ebbsspeed
    Joined: Nov 11, 2005
    Posts: 4,406


    Does it really say "LAMER" on the front of the Rambler? Nice touch!

    And an epic thread, great skills on many fronts.
  17. brg404
    Joined: Nov 10, 2008
    Posts: 135


    Just wanted to point out - if you are not careful, you may inadvertently create a cool little hot rod there...
    Aswright likes this.
  18. SnoDawg
    Joined: Jul 23, 2004
    Posts: 1,014


    Dont have a hammer, Can I use a big a--ed wrench?

  19. Baumi
    Joined: Jan 28, 2003
    Posts: 2,003


    Come on, admit it! You have been hiding in my shop and watching me wire my 34!

    You are a great builder AND writer! Thank you!
    Turbo57, 39 Aaron NZ and The37Kid like this.
  20. RMONTY
    Joined: Jan 7, 2016
    Posts: 1,154


    Step 13. Hatefully throw tape and wire loom on there.

    It's 4:10 am and I am sitting here with tears running down my face from laughing so hard. Thank you! It made my day this early! That's some funny shit!!
  21. Finally read your Automotive Manifesto, not bad. I still can't think of you without seeing the back door of the Vicky fly open as you left the bar in Morris, I don't think you were even 21 yet.
    Clay Belt likes this.
  22. That was good.......Following on Insta....
    ls1yj likes this.
  23. atch
    Joined: Sep 3, 2002
    Posts: 3,975


    I'm pretty sure that I'll never hold the record on here, but I've been "working" on my BSA chopper since 1974. I know; it's a scoot, but it's a project.

    And, oh yeah, I've been collecting parts and pieces for the '26 T modified for over 25 years. Probably no where near a record on here either.

    Of course we all know that a rod is NEVER finished. Clarence (see avatar) has been in a constant state of change since I bought it in February, 1973.
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2018
    Clay Belt likes this.
  24. unclescooby
    Joined: Jul 5, 2004
    Posts: 4,852

    from indy

    That's why I love you baby. You are the only guy I know that can pull a door handle out of a creek and say to yourself "I should restore this car. I just need to make the rest of it."
    kbgreen, OahuEli, '51 Norm and 8 others like this.
  25. Johnny Sparkle
    Joined: Sep 20, 2003
    Posts: 1,107

    Johnny Sparkle

    It was missing letters when I bought it. I used one of those online anagram makers,and that's what it came up with. Who am I to argue?

    Nope. By the time I'm done replacing crap, it will morph itself into a 1984 Chevette.

    If it's big enough, it's even better because it'll have a nice curve to it. Don't stab with it though, you'll make little bitty dings in there that'll take a bunch of bondo to hide.

    I honestly don't recall this. Nick's car? I have the memory of a syphilitic goldfish, so you'll have to forgive me.

    The hardest part is finding your way back home after your parents dropped you off that far out into the country and said "he'll be happier out here in nature, don't you worry Kathy."
  26. Okay seriously? After reading all 5 pages, THIS thread had to be the most entertaining and awe-inspiring fab skills shown with a body that was shot up by John Dillinger and torn apart! I'm still wiping away the tears from laughing at Johnny Sparkle's posts and the responses! I'm subscribed - who wouldn't??? Keep up the great work Johnny!!!
  27. monster
    Joined: Feb 1, 2008
    Posts: 209


    I like it, make the HAMB great again!
  28. ls1yj
    Joined: Sep 14, 2011
    Posts: 389

    from Kentucky

    2018 Thread of the year!!!

    Sent from my iPhone using H.A.M.B.
  29. 36couper
    Joined: Nov 20, 2002
    Posts: 1,993

    from ontario

    The most entertaining and hilarious thread I've ever read on HAMB. If this building a hot rod thing doesn't work for you, try stand up comedy

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