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Hot Rods How do you Know When to call it Quits?

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by 4tford, Apr 7, 2018.

  1. 19Fordy
    Joined: May 17, 2003
    Posts: 5,540

    19Fordy
    Member

    4tford; Sorry for your loss. The pain will lessen with time. Don't compound your loss by also selling off your cars as that will be another loss. As the losses increase you may get more depressed. Not good. Unless you need the money, keep your cars as a diversion and the memory of good times. What will you do if you didn't have your cars to tinker with?
     
    raven, Felix 40, jim snow and 4 others like this.
  2. Sheep Dip
    Joined: Dec 29, 2010
    Posts: 1,398

    Sheep Dip
    Member
    from Central Ca

    I've got 3 kid's and 3 hot rods one is an OT Corvette. I have not lost interest in driving or showing them and are assuming I never will.
    We got 1 guy that shows up at local shows in a stunning 62 big block Impala and he uses a cane to get in and out of the car, then gets one of those little walkers with wheels, handlebars, brakes and a seat out of his trunk. Hell I admire the shit out of him, he's my hero.
    I would imagine my daughter will take the Corvette and the 2 boy's can decide between themselves on the 40 coupe and 49 Chevy PU when I depart this old world.
     
    4tford likes this.
  3. vtx1800
    Joined: Oct 4, 2009
    Posts: 640

    vtx1800
    Member

    About 20 years ago I went through a divorce, pretty depressed for a year plus not having a shop to work on the car I had or any money, that time sucked. Slowly it got better, took a few years, but now at 73 I need a reason to get up and go do something. That's why the primer red Stude sits ahead of the 38 Chevy, a reason to get up. Winter causes depression (especially in the midwest), time and warm weather will help you start the recovery. I always wanted a Dodge like you have. Dad had a 40 Ford two door that he sold long before I could drive. You have two of my favorite cars, good luck to you and I wish you the best!
     
    JeffB2 and 4tford like this.
  4. indyjps
    Joined: Feb 21, 2007
    Posts: 3,323

    indyjps
    Member

    Choose 1, set it up to drive, then drive it every day theres not snow. Yes it will get chips and dings, but you'll have a hell of a time doing it.

    The next owner should have to replace every bushing, ball joint, bearing, tires and probably paint it. Use that thing up, dont make it easy on the next guy.
     
    raven, partsdawg, Chili Phil and 3 others like this.
  5. Chappy444
    Joined: Jan 27, 2012
    Posts: 116

    Chappy444
    Member

    4tFord.
    It pains me to read this as it kinda hits close to home.
    I lost my dad last November. He was 71.
    He worked at the same place for 38.5 years and 18 months before he was eligible for his full pension they shut the doors...one months notice. It was hard on him and he was depressed for a long time and just kind of sat around and did nothing.
    He had always talked about getting a 50 ford like he had in high school so I found one and had it shipped up to him. It was a project but it was what could be afforded.
    He worked on it and it got him up and moving around. And when I went to visit we would work on it together
    His health was declining (COPD) and he stopped going down to the garage. No amount of pushing by me would get him back at it...a year later he passed.
    I was left with the car and bunch of memories. As that was dads dream car and not mine I sold it on to a fellow hamber and bought my dream car.
    I guess what I am saying is don't stop working on it or at least being involved.
    A life long passion is not something to walk away from...and us younger guys really could use your knowledge base. There are so many things my dad knew that i never got to learn.
    If you feel you have lost the passion try mentoring a younger guy. If you don't think you can do the work then make your new passion teaching someone else everything you know...it will give you something to do and probably relight your fire in no time at all.
    I hope you stay with it and keep your cars
     
    raven, Felix 40, belair and 6 others like this.
  6. Montana1
    Joined: Jan 1, 2015
    Posts: 1,167

    Montana1
    Member
    from Colorado

    Sorry for your loss 4tford... I feel your pain and grieve with you. Stay close to your son and don't let a day go by that you don't hug him and tell him you love him. Give it some time and try to get involved again when you are ready.

    I know how it feels. I just lost the wife of my youth, the love of my life of 41 1/2 years, the mother of our three wonderful children, this past January. We did everything together.

    Some days it feels like the end of the road for me and I'm only 63. It hurts so much. The best thing I've found is to jump in the '32 and go somewhere.

    Everyone tells me not to do anything in my sorrow that I will regret later. Our kids are all very supportive of Dad and I'm very thankful. My friends call often and encourage me to keep on keeping on. :)
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2018
    TagMan, 4tford, rgdavid and 3 others like this.
  7. Hang in there and get them cars cranked up hopefully with your sons help !
    It was a cold day as I left out this morning on a little over an hour drive - one to pull a motor out of a 1965 and the other to get a 39 Ford sedan ready to come home. As I drove north my contacts said it was freezing there at the moment and light rain. Funny as I pulled the gate open to the pasture there was frozen percipation on it. Got some work done on the 1939 Ford so it was off to pull the motor.
    Why at 62 yrs old do I do this crap? With on the way home some light chest pains just to remind me of my stints I already have.....because it keeps me going.
    The motor was an early LA...a little 273...kinda stupid....but....
     
    KKrod, 4tford and Hnstray like this.
  8. bubba55
    Joined: Feb 27, 2011
    Posts: 211

    bubba55
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    Know yer pain 4tford - lost my one true love on 1-20-2014 - before she passed she told me to git me '38 chevy truck on da road and git back in me wood shop - I'm doing both - take the best of things she loved you for and focus on that !
     
    4tford and Montana1 like this.
  9. SR100
    Joined: Nov 26, 2013
    Posts: 335

    SR100

    Lots of good advice. The only thing I could add is: do not do this alone. Get the car running and hang out with your friends, not necessarily in that order. Working on your cars together might help your buddy too.
     
  10. 4tford
    Joined: Aug 27, 2005
    Posts: 1,507

    4tford
    Member

    What a great bunch of people here on this site. I feel better hearing all the positive words. The depression and this Midwest climate can take a toll on you. I hope to get back to doing what I can on my cars because hearing you guys reminds me why we love our cars so much. My wife was there helping me build the 40 hell she was under the thing running wires with me. Those memories I think about and why the 40 is special to the both of us.
     
  11. rgdavid
    Joined: Feb 3, 2014
    Posts: 203

    rgdavid
    Member

    Then the car is special to you,
    You did some of it with your wife,
    She helped you because ot was fun doing it and wanted you to complete it,
    Drive the nuts off the thing, its what they are for.
    My race bike is the same (we did everythingtogether) and when i get some money to complete it im gonna ring its little neck..lol..
    I gotta do it for me but a bit for her aswell, to make her proud of me.
    Your wife, like mine, would want you to continue doing just that.
    Please dont give up,
    Sending big big courage from"france.
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2018
  12. jim snow
    Joined: Feb 16, 2007
    Posts: 298

    jim snow
    Member

    So sorry for your loss. My 2cents is don't do anything right now if you don't have to. Once they're gone chances are you won't get them back. Spring will come. Get out and drive them. Your wife will be smiling on you. You will feel it. Snowman
     
    Felix 40 and 4tford like this.
  13. I think you've had some great thoughts to help guide you through a hard time in your life, and my thoughts are with you as well.

    My wife is my best friend and we both enjoy the time she spends with me and my cars, and my car friends. I know that my cars are a large part of my life, and I'm not sure how I would cope with what you are dealing with right now, but I would like to think that getting out with my cars, together with my friends, would help me deal with it all. Also. I really think it helps to include younger people in the mix. Their energy and enthusiasm really help to encourage and motivate me.

    Good luck to you 4tford, I hope the choices you make work toward you enjoying the years in front of you.
     
    4tford likes this.
  14. I am happy to hear all the reply's have had a positive influence and hope the weather improves soon.

    My mom use to have a saying,it's dark and cloudy but the sun will come out,maybe not today or tomorrow but it will shine again! HRP
     
  15. miker98038
    Joined: Jan 24, 2011
    Posts: 255

    miker98038
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    I lost my wife when I was 50, I’m 68 now. I didn’t do anything with the cars for a couple years and barely managed to keep the battery charged in hers. Finally things came back.

    At 50 I knew I had time to recover, and didn’t make any sudden decisions. That worked for me then, and now I’m still working on my and my buddies cars and enjoying them. Give yourself some time.
     
    rgdavid, belair and Montana1 like this.
  16. belair
    Joined: Jul 10, 2006
    Posts: 7,304

    belair
    Member
    1. H.A.M.B. Chapel

    After a significant loss like yours, I advise folks not to make any serious decision concerning finances, relationships or possessions for at least 6 months, if not a year. Let things begin to return to something closer to normal, find a rhythm to your new life, and get a feel for where you are. You can always sell the cars later if you want to, but once gone, they aint coming back. They might (or might not) be part of the cure for what ailes you. Life is never going to go back to the way it was, but it can still be good. I hope you find joy alongside your grief.
     
    Felix 40, TagMan, raven and 1 other person like this.
  17. 34Larry
    Joined: Apr 25, 2011
    Posts: 315

    34Larry
    Member

    4tford, such great advise here from so many good guys. Wait at least a year before doing anything. I'm living in constant depression myself because of similar problems, but my wife is still living but with dementia so it is like she is here but isn't. I also had a bad 2017, loosing my 53 y.o. daughter in March and my best buddie ever Dec. 5th , Max my dog who lived and breathed every second with me and went where ever I was. (actually harder on me than loosing my daughter, whom I loved as much as any father.) So I parked my 34 in its place and went to Az. for the winter. Depression is a horrible condition and rash thoughts and decisions can come of it, I have experienced it to the maximum believe me. I strongly thought of selling my 34, tools, everything. Selling the house and moving into a condo, and riding it out in a recliner. Did I say I'm 79 on the 19th, and suffered a TIA (minor stroke) no lasting effects thank God, January 13th this year?
    Well.......................I arrived back at the ol' homestead last Wed. fully intending to carry out my plans. Went out to the garage, started up the Ford. Let it warm up took it around the block, came back with and entirely changed attitude and am starting to feel like my old self just a bit now.
    It is tough to deal with (Jan), still tear up when remembering and missing Max and my #2 daughter, especially when seeing their pictures here in my computer den. It will always be that way I'm sure but getting rid of what I worked so hard for and on, (22 year build), would only serve to worsen my depression so I'm keeping it, driving it, enjoying it and recalling instead how my daughter loved it and my Maxi ran every time I started it and laughing about it in good memories.
    I learned from loosing my daughter, (now over a year) that it does get better, and it will believe me and all that have told you that very same thing. Wishing you the best of everything in this world.
     
  18. Heck park them where folks can see them. And when someone ask about them. Tell them not for sale Im gonna fix them up someday. That can be lots of fun. Actually what im trying to state is We all need to enjoy life and have fun. How we do that doesn't matter. Ive collected a Hoard of vehicles. And certainly will never do anything with most of them. But yesterday my 4 year oil grandson was with me helping me get a 55 GMC running. He asked questions and after I answered He often would ask Why? Any road yesterday was fun. Today I showed him how to get the marble from a empty spray paint can. And moments later He took a chisel and punctured a half full can. Those are the kinds of things memories are made from. Get out and do something and have fun If its nothing more than pulling a prank on someone..
     
    raven and 4tford like this.
  19. Unless you are strapped for cash, give yourself some time. I know this long ass winter has made me depressed! We are close in age and my wife is going through some serious health issues right now. I cannot let her see my bad feelings. There have been times this winter that I wanted to sell everything. When the sun comes out like today I get that old feeling. Again give it some time before making a decision. Best Wishes.
     
    firstinsteele and 4tford like this.
  20. Jimbo17
    Joined: Aug 19, 2008
    Posts: 3,217

    Jimbo17
    Member

    I am now 71 years old but a few years ago I got burned doing the car show thing.

    I also find I am busier now then I was 5 or 10 years and I really do not have the time any more so I sold my last car because I realized I had not used it in 6 months and that is when I knew it was time to move on with other projects I have going on like my 6 grand children and they keep me very busy.

    I am very sorry to hear the news about your wife.
    I have been married for 49 years plus 3 years of dating my wife and I cannot even think of her not being here any more.
    For me I have my faith in God that has always helped.
    Best of luck. Jimbo
     
  21. 55styleliner
    Joined: May 11, 2015
    Posts: 261

    55styleliner
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    I went through the same thing when my Father passed away. We were best friends and old cars are what we did together since I was 5 years old. When he passed away I lost all interest in the old cars I had and had no desire to go to shows or swap meets. He liked restored stock Model As and Early V8s. I was always into Mustangs. Well, now I am into Model As with Early V8 Power!! LOL.
     
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  22. RichFox
    Joined: Dec 3, 2006
    Posts: 8,830

    RichFox
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    I would not quit because of depression. But that is me. Nobody else. My tip off was when I was pulling the engine from my Bonneville altered coupe. And realized that I could not get up from the floor. Ended being there for about a day and a half. Decided I was done with such things.
     
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  23. anthony myrick
    Joined: Sep 4, 2009
    Posts: 2,307

    anthony myrick
    Member
    from al

    this may not be much help
    sometimes I feel like selling off everything old and do something else but what?
    building cars is all I know, the only jobs I have ever had have been repairing vehicles.
    I have never started my Merc build (owned the car for 15 years), my GMC truck build is on hold, I fix lots of other peoples cars instead of mine, need to do this and that and the inspiration leaves.
    then something happens and I rethink things, a much needed part comes along, a build here on the HAMB recharges the inspiration,..........
    so what if I never build the Merc or finish the GMC, the enjoyment is the work. Its therapy. Its how I work through issues and problems. losing people you love is tough. Some people medicate or drink problems away but Im lucky enough to have a more positive outlet for this.
    Maybe look at your car hobby like this. If it needs scaled back then scale it back but never stop working on them if its something you really enjoy.


    sorry for the rambling
     
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  24. "Endeavor to Persevere", a poem by George Wootton may give some comfort in these times.
     
    4tford likes this.
  25. so sorry 4tford to hear of your wife's passing, and equally sorry to hear about your dear friends grief to boot.
    Being it is who you always were, who you are, and who you will be remembered as... a car guy... I hope you can hang in as long as you are able. You and your bud go get some coffee and breakfast and wait for it... drive times a coming.
     
    4tford likes this.
  26. wicarnut
    Joined: Oct 29, 2009
    Posts: 1,912

    wicarnut
    Member

    Sorry for your loss, maybe give some thoughts to groups that are for people in your situation, rely on your friends/family/church to talk about it, seek out information on the steps of grief to help yourself understand coping with it, time will heal the pain, never is totally gone, but will get better. Agree with advice on cars, let them sit awhile, see how you feel 6/12 months down the road, if your cars were your main outlet/hobby, in time go out in garage, polish it, drive it around some, try to keep yourself busy, maybe try new/old hobby of some sort, something you did as a kid, fishing ? sports events, etc. Good Luck with your recovery, wishing you the best.
     
    Felix 40 and 4tford like this.
  27. I lost my wife to cancer almost 4 years ago, it was a crushing blow to me and many others. I went on a drinking bender for about a year and reeled that back in slowly, today I am okay. The first thing I did was go out and buy a '59 Ford that needed a lot of work. I needed something to take up my time and keep my mind out of dark places and it worked.
     
    Felix 40, 4tford and wicarnut like this.
  28. MERCURYGUY
    Joined: Jul 30, 2009
    Posts: 783

    MERCURYGUY
    Member

    I am 78 and I thought I was done however that being said I got the bug and I am starting to fit together a 1929 Ford Model A Roadster pickup. Not sure how far I will get as the body (Mine) is not what it used to be a number or years ago. As they say you never know if you don"t try
     
    4tford likes this.
  29. Lots of good replies. :) Common points: we all suffer in winter. Give time a chance. You will decide how you will proceed. Best wishes. :)
     
    4tford likes this.
  30. MOST ALL THE PEOPLE ON HERE ARE 70+ this is an old mans game pretty much except for the rat rod kids they do that because it's fun and cheaper. I've had many big deal cars like Cords, Grahams, 53 Buick Skylark, Tornados etc. but I prefer to be that kid with a Rod and Custom car I wound up enjoying my 29 Ford roadster with a nailhead and q/c, 51 Mrrc with a carson and a 39 Ford tub with a 40 Delux front end chop and Carson top, all just drivers. Throw them together and drive them like you stole em! I'm 77 thinking like 16.
     
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2018
    bobss396 and 4tford like this.

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