Folks Of Interest Hot Rods/Customs and Mental Health

Fargo, Just know, we love you, (In a manly sort of way of course). I believe laughter is the best medicine. And a .25 mg Xanex and a Keystone light LOL. I was recently dealing with some things that almost got the better of me, so I went to the VA to talk to the psychiatrist. We ended up talking about an O/T 396 chevelle he had then he said, now what was the problem? I laughed and said nevermind. He said whatever it is you'll be fine. That's when I realized he was right. I also realized my therapist was crazier than me.

 

A few thoughts about people talking;

Some talk without any thought

Just because it may be true doesn’t mean it needs to be said

If you talk long enough at some point you will say something stupid

You have to know when to simply shut up

@57 Fargo you have an awesome truck
It’s difficult to understand anyone that would criticize your truck instead of helping you with the problem you were having at that moment.
Stay strong my friend

 

I’m not too concerned about what people think of me. That said, even in my quiet suburban neighborhood the comments of my neighbors have been overwhelmingly positive.

The mental health aspect of the hobby shouldn’t be discounted. It gives us an outlet for creative ideas, provides learning opportunities and fosters personal growth. I get a lot of personal satisfaction from problem solving and seeing a project through to completion. I also get a lot of satisfaction when people enjoy the fruits of my labor. Putting a smile on someone’s face makes me happy.

Driving is another aspect of the hobby that gives me inner peace. The combination of the exhaust rumble and some good music is hypnotic. It clears my mind and lets me live in the moment…

 

Nah, you haven’t contributed to my struggles, let you conscious be clear my friend! In fact I have a feeling we would get along just fine.

 

Not that this applies to you but some of the snowflake/ buttercup crowd have no idea what real problems are. I was surprised that nobody offered to help you with the starter issue as well. But early in my teenage years I realized that if I don’t value a particular person then there’s no way I’d value what the person says. But I’ve always been into humour, heck it got me through over 40 years of teaching and continues that with my On Call teaching.

One great source for me to find funny stuff is right here on the HAMB! There are some funny buggers here, that’s for sure...

 

All of us need to look at our selves and be better.[/QUOTE]
For sure. We'd searched for, and found, the DeSoto wagon 2 months after I retired, 4 months after the Pontiac Tin Woody wagon was totaled, and one month before the Covid shit hit the fan. I have to say, that car made the transition from working (12 hour shifts as a Critical Care RN) and not going to work MUCH easier. Add the pandemic and the social isolation that resulted from that, and going out the shop every day to build the wagon (and then in the middle of that build the Model A roadster built around the wagons 276 Hemi) truly kept me from losing it. Now, three and half years after I retired, I find I'm still dealing with the feeling that I should be DOING something productive all the time. Simply using the cars and maintaining them is filling that need for me.
Cars ARE therapy for many of us. I have noticed, although admittedly I spend less time here now that both cars are "done", that this place has become much more "polite" (if still a bit strict regarding the "rules" of hot rodding ) which I see as a reflection of exactly what you are bringing up.
Thanks. We're all in this together.

 

Last time I tried this my wife caught me naked and staring at myself in the bathroom mirror.
Things 'round here haven't been the same since.........

 

Hopefully the ones who go to the parts store beating up the young guy for being stupid will gain some insight from this thread. Point being my goal has always been to try not to cause someone grief, they are just like us. Trying to get through the day. You don't know what comes across their desk .

 

who's normal, you mean norman?

its kind of odd, ive never met a normal person, and the people who are pretty close to normal tend to be, either rude, or not too bright, not to be insulting, but you understand what i mean?

ive got my own issues, sure. but normal isnt real in my opinion, everyone is a little strange. some are more strange than others. the average person doesnt care about classic cars, or hot rods, they see their car as an appliance. which i guess makes a lot of us weird to other people.

A quote my dad always tells me is "When you walk to your own rhythm you need to have a stronger skin; people will judge, harass and try to get you off your beat, but if you keep moving on, they wont matter in the end."

 

@57 Fargo thanks so much for posting this thread. I was someone who didn't understand mental health issues at all not that long ago. I have, however, always considered this hobby somewhat therapy whether it was working on my old cars in the shop or driving them. I have often commented how this hobby is my escape from the world and all of its many issues. It takes me to a simpler time and place whether I am working in the shop or driving a two lane even just back and forth from work to deal with the stresses of life. I am however also currently taking a crash course in understanding mental health since my oldest son is dealing with some things. At first, I have to admit that I thought he just needed to suck it up and deal with life like the rest of us. But, what I am learning is that isn't the same for everyone. Anyway, thanks again for starting this thread. I would be willing to bet there are several more of us than you might think that either use the old cars as some form of therapy whether for ourselves or a family member. My son is trying to figure out how to use it. He really wants to drag race but that seems to cause him more stress than just having a cruiser to drive the two lanes to unwind. He will find his way and what it takes to put this hobby in the right place.

These old cars put a smile on my face some days when I would rather just give up. So, the therapy works at least for me as well no matter what some may think of what I build or drive.

 

Well said...

 

There are two kinds of people in this world.
There's me. And then there's the rest of you.

 

Naked's okay, naked's normal however, if she'd caught you trying on her undies, that would be something to worry about

 

Big mouth......... small brain.
Every time.

That's okay, @57 Fargo
When someone says something like that, you're allowed to say something back.

And then laugh.

Hammer him enough until you see that he's not in the mood to laugh anymore. Then maybe go shake his hand and explain...
"Be easy on me and my old car. It's my therapy."

 

Thanks for sharing, Fargo.
Working in 'the garage has always been therapy for me. Not always on cars, but other projects as well. My work life is VERY stressful. If I didn't have some outlet, I would not be a good person to be around.
I started working on cars with my dad at around age 4 or 5. He always had an old car being worked on: '29 PU, '34 2dr sedan. '38 Ply Bus couple, lots of others.
Last year, I had to write a speech that I had to give to my group of about 100 people. I'm NOT a public speaker. I don't like large groups. Hell, I barely even like people. I was trying to write the speech, and nothing was working out. My wife asked me where I do my best thinking (not where you might think). I told her that was in the garage. So, I went down to the garage, flipped over a 5 gal bucket, and sat down to write my speech. The garage is my happy place, my sanctuary.

 

well sometimes you wanna try out a new hat!

 

You never know how things impact people or at what age it happens. I grew up in Gas stations in the metro Detroit area in the 60's and 70's and had a great time. Attending school was low on my list and I was a fifth child so the folks were tired of kids by the time I came along. Me and my dad got along great and I worked all the time.
By the time I became a Father my Father had passed away. I transitioned from running my own rented Amoco station to my newly purchased old Texaco station operating as a NC used car dealer. That is the environment my two sons grew up in. They were there from the day they could walk. My youngest who is now in Law enforcement and is 29 yrs old wrote this when he was about 20. I just came back across it and thought how timely it is for this thread. As for me it brings tears to my eyes. This was written after we closed up shop and built a small shop at home for me to hang out in (it is my escape )Hope you enjoy it and my it give you pause to treasure the moment.


"This isn't the shop I grew up in, but when I'm in it, it's like being 12 again. The garage means dad, and that means security. The garage means mom might come by for a minute, and that means calm. It means a friend might pop by just to talk, or maybe they have a problem they need looked at.


It's in the shop where I learned skills from my father, where I continue to learn things daily. It's where I learned walking away if you're frustrated and coming back to look at it differently. It's where my family taught me honesty. It's where I grew a sense of pride in work and accomplishment

The shop is the eye in the hurricane that is my life, where I can fix the fixable and make things better in a tangible way. It's where my family convenes in a way like no other"

 

This sums up the thoughts that rattle around my head. I wish I would bought a few instead of one.

 

I just ask.. Where's yours? Then we can go have look at what you have done eh?

 

I'm so much more careful when I do that............

 

LOL its my world and everyone else is just in it.

 

I feel when out working on my truck I am in my own world, creating what I want to create without the pressures like our work lives where others are creating the priorities, making decisions etc. We can be on our own pace, schedule, path etc. You being satisfied and content is what counts. As far as the haters, it's a LOT easier to be critical than to be positive as the world has proven.

 

I've loved working on, and building old cars for almost 60 years now. Over all that time I've heard lots of comments from people criticizing cars at car events. Sometimes even my own cars if they didn't realize I was the owner as they pointed things out.
I never let comments from others get to me for the most part, but I have had fun with some guys who didn't know I owned the car they were criticizing.
My wife rarely goes to car shows, but last summer we were at a show and she was sitting in the shade near my car when she heard two guys nitpicking one of my cars. She got up, and began a conversation with one guy who was the most critical. I got back just about that time, and simply stood by like I was looking the car over also. My wife finally asked the guy which car he had in the show, and he said he had none there. She then asked him what he owned, or was building, and he had nothing. At this point she told him maybe he should go home and build a better car instead of cutting down other's builds. I couldn't help but chuckle as the two guys just walked away at that point.
If you hear ugly comments, just let them slide, or walk away from your car and don't listen to the negativity. Life is too short to let jerks bother you.

 

Not for nothing and not saying it’s the same thing, but working in my garage during Covid was what kept it together for me. I was never that good in crowds/large gatherings and now, only in short spurts. I am a socially oriented guy meaning I like hanging out with good friends, new or old, young or old. But in small groups - car shows or cruise ins? They’re only 2 hours or less max …..

My family, good friends, this hobby, and working with my hands is where it’s at for me ….

Bottom line, not quite the same but I hear ya …. I can relate

 

I heard this years ago.
It helps a little.

People tend to make fun of things they don't understand.

 

PTSD sucks

 

Man, I used to fall victim to that mentality myself, then I realized that Mind over matter, I don't mind that they don't matter.

Truthfully, not many of those "PROs" Can do everything we can do in the room that we do it in. They have 5k sq ft shops, lifts, machines etc and huge budgets, and here we are, making gold out of a 2 car garages in the burbs. Yeah laying on the ground to work under a car on jackstand's sucks but we still do it.

 

There is a feeling driving and keeping them going man. When I drive my 56, its therapy and she knows how to make me smile. I find refuge in my garage, keeping these two heaps going, making things the best version I can make them.

Some folks like what you experienced are the check writers of this hobby. They are a necessity honestly, but they are normally the most opinionated and quickest to lash out with their big mouth. Don't ever let them get you down man...

Best advice, Fudge EM... Surround yourself with folks who respect and like ya. If you ever need an ear man, hit me up.

 

And if you ever need a
boob-man, hit me up.

 

I hear you on this, and I will also add that I personally would most likely be broke, homeless and a criminal, again.