Funniest lines from the parts counter

When I was teasing my favorite counter guy about not having any parts for Mopars he said "bondo is on the bottom shelf, asile 2"...

 

Them: Can I help you?
Me: no - just looking.
them: Is that your car out there?
me: yep
them: is that a Studebaker?
me: no - it's a Tucker

 

You know it baby! Sweetest 6 cyl this side of heaven.

 

I like occasionally calling the local dumbasses and asking for a flux capacitor for an 81 delorean. After a few minutes of looking and me laughing my ass off, they still ask for a part number.

 

I use a web site to order 99 percent of stuff I use, it is suprising how many questions you have to answer to narrow down the search for what you want. Something suprising as well, look for a water pump for a "70's" 350 some time. There are dozens of options. I changed one on a car I am working on (where the vintage was unknown.. just guessed at) and while it liiked the same and bolted right on, the shaft was a tad shorter and the belt squeel was deafening. had to shim the alt to make it workable.

SMartasses that say "They are all the same" should be smacked with a worn out felman bearing and pelted with bottles of headlight fluid

 

Years ago I worked in the automotive department at the Bismarck, NDakota Sears, when I was 17-20 years old. I remember a younger father came in with his 4-5 year old son to get something for his car. As I was ringing up his purchase his son had sat down on the floor on the other side of the counter where I couldn't see him. I don't remember what he was goofing around with down there but out of nowhere, in a childish but mostly firm voice he says 'shit!'. His father and I both heard it and you could tell by the look on dad's face he was dumbfounded that the kid said it. In a mostly gentle but firm tone dad asks him: 'HEY...Where did you hear that?' The boy could sense he was in a bit of a jam and sheepishly replied: 'I... heard you... say it... in the... garage...'. Dad gave me an embarassed smile and they left.

 

Well, having read most of these posts, I got my own stories, like the bent wire...I need a rad hose that looks like this....What year is it? 1936 ford pickup, 327 chevy, I don't show a hose for that....thats why I brought you the bent wire...
BUT, some of the best parts men and gals are taught by us, patience is the key, teach them what you need them to know, don't embarrass them, they need to learn their craft like you learned yours, try to keep that in mind.

 

other side of the parts counter-

customer: I need brake pads for a dodge ram
counter person: Is this a truck?
customer: What else would it be?
counter person: Dodge makes trucks and vans called RAM, just seeing which one you have.
customer: Truck
counter person: 2wd or 4wd?
customer: Why does that make a difference?!
counter person: Trying to get you the right part.
customer-2wd
counter person:3.7L V6 or a v8?
customer: I don't care!!!! give me a set for my truck!!!!!!
counter person - ok


2 hours later-
customer- you sold me the wrong part-these don't fit my truck!!! Let me talk to the manager!!!!

counter person - I sold you the brake pads for a V8, the V6 pads would be different. Do you have a V6?
customer: Of course!!!

 

I like that, I'm gonna try that one!

 

you guys have time to come up with this shit while you're busy wetsanding down new signpainting on your truck doors so they look 60 years old, don't ya?
something to keep your mind occupied while you're on the shitter.

 

why would anyone WANT to humiliate someone else? sure if the person who is being paid to do a job is not doing it, then i get the frustration. i just got into cars maybe 5 years ago - and i am 38. i dont know shit from shinola. but i do my research as best i can so i an go in and try and find the part. it's not the workers' fault that the only way they can find a part is thru the computer. it's called inventory! these places most likely dont have "backrooms" like the old stores did. why would they? their business model isnt HAMB cars - its basic stuff for modern cars/trucks.

i also agree that the business mentality sucks - the walmarting of America is a despicable thing. so either pay more to go to Bill and Sallys Auto store, or call them and order it and wait the extra week for it to arrive. We all want instant gratification at the lowest price possible but bitch when someone gets it wrong. best thing we can do is skip these stores.

im not defending someone who simply doesnt give 2 craps about doing there job - if you are going to take the pay then do the work and dont take it out on a customer. but trying to be an elitist to feel better is pretty lame.

the issue i have with my local autozone is i bought 3 different items on 3 diff days. each time i got home after taking some vacation time to get work done, and the part ws an old returned item that was put back in a box and resent. who the hell does that? obv the part was defective - who in their right mind puts that back in a box and labels it ready for sale so that the next poor customer has to go thru it all again? with 2 young kids and not enough talent, my time is important to me. i dont mind the 30 min drive to get the part - just dont make me go 5 times because someone decided to be a lazy sob and put broken parts back up for resale. drives me nuts to waste time like that. usually my local AZ just tells me to go hunt for what i need - they have been good to me.

 

Yesterday my buddy called the parts place and said he needed an ac compressor for the gmc van he is working on. The chick goes through a series of questions and asked "does it have ac?"

 

Quite a few years back I was waiting my turn in line at a local parts joint. I heard the guy in front of me ask the parts guy how far he should screw in the tie rod end he just bought.

 

Perhaps if the counterperson had explained to the customer that there were many brake pad part numbers for a Dodge Ram and specific information about his vehicle was needed to pick the correct part, the customer might have been more cooperative. Less attitude on both sides of the counter would probably resulted in a better outcome for both parties.

 

All this bitching about parts houses that actually stock parts for cars over 10-15 years old. Get real guys, this isn't 1980 anymore. You're lucky the parts guys don't just laugh you out of their shop. 99% of cars are less than 20 years old. Who'd want to do that job anyway these days?
Ed

 

When I walk in to buy something they have on the shelf like cleaning products or oil, and before I can get both feet in the door they jump all over me asking if they can help me find something.
I always reply in a polite way, "No thanks! I know what I need and where it is. I'll let you know if you can help."
Then they stand at the counter watching me like a hawk.
You can go about your business counter person. I'll be just fine.

lol!

 

I know a lot of this is bs, but it is still good for a laugh. But if you go in and try to help each other it does workout most of the time. I've worked in dealership service since 1968 and what really pisses me off is too go into parts dept to get a set of brake pads and rotors and one of the guys comes back and says we only have ONE rotor.. but the computer shows 2 in stock. Then an hour later they say they found the other in the wrong place. Or the computer only shows one in stock- how many do we normally try to keep? one. who only does one? well, we only sold 4 in the last 4 months, so that's 1 a month and we need to turn inventory every 30 days or some such. or they don't even stock an air filter for the new model year. or 7 plugs for a v8. the way to get to be a parts manager: hire on as delivery guy, after you have wrecked so many trucks or misdelivered too many parts they put you into the warehouse, after misstocking so much that everyone gets tired of fixing it they move you to the back counter so the techs can attempt to train you( after all we don't want to piss off a customer who can go someplace else by putting him on the front counter), after it is finally decided he(she) is to stupid to train they make him(her) a manager in charge of running things.

 

We have a couple of good guys at our local Advanced auto and if you go in with an open mind and are willing to talk to them you will have a better experience. Not everyday does someone come in looking for a bering race for thier 19whatever off brand project most people have never heard of but EVERY day some one comes in looking for parts for thier 20whatever that can be looked up in the computer.

 

My local NAPA is AWESOME to the point that when Ginny (Ginger) sees me walk through the door she doesn't even bother to move from the counter. She knows I know where everything is, and I just go find my own stuff. Alex is the master of interchange, and he's always ready with a crossover part if I can't find the RIGHT one. 90% of the time I'm leaving with SOMETHING that will work for what I'm repairing. The O'Reilly's is funny, too. They always start the jokes as soon as I walk in. One day, a new girl met me at the counter and logged into the computer and asked what I needed, and Ed turns off the computer and hands her a thick catalog and says, "That computer ain't gonna help you find anything this guy needs." Love it.

 

Or maybe the customer shouldn't have been a know it all jerk. I hate guys that act like that. I discourage them fro returning to my place of business.

 

I always go to the stores website first and find the part number I'm looking for.
Saves a ton of grief.
If I have time I'll use Rock Auto.

 

The guys and gals at my local have been very patient when I'm looking for an oddball part or have asked questions that have saved me from ordering the wrong part. Many OT cars have mid year changes in parts (like brakes and cv joints) that can make your life miserable. Japanese cars can be very bad for this. I remember a Mazda that had 3 different CV joints for the left side for one year and trans type.. ridikerus!

 

I have been through all of the same things you guys mention at one time or another. The counter guy always asks what the part is for and I say,"It doesn't matter what car it is in, just look up "this"car, but they insist on knowing the car it is being used on. So, one day I go to Auto Zone and ask where they keep their gas caps, as I lost the one from my '37 Chevy or it was stolen. The counter guy says,"What car is the cap for?" I said as usual, "It doesn't matter", but he insists. So, I tell him,"Ok, it's for a 1937 Chevrolet". He punches some keys on his computer and says,"Master or Deluxe?" I say, "Ok, it's a Master". He punches some more keys and then says to me,"I have it in stock". What??!!! Sure enough he comes back with it! The joke was on me this time!

 

so a guy comes in today and says "i need somebody who knows something"....
so, hell; i'll bite.
"i got a Fawd eff-600 boom truck, and my brakes are going. it's got them hydra-boosted brakes. can i just top off the pump with brake fluid?"

uhhh... what? NO.... the power steering just HAPPENS to boost the brakes by hydraulics, not by actually pumping brake fluid, sir....

"so i need to add brake fluid? where does it go?" (REALLY. no lie.)

well; it goes into the master cylinder, attached to the front of the hydroboost unit.
"where's that? in front of the steering wheel?" this, from the OWNER of the truck in question.....

i was actually scared to see him leave. scared for the rest of the people on he road.

 

wow this is funny i used to do this rush in and say the same things to some young man behind the parts counter too. sigh i wish i could un say some of them . you see my son sells parts and has for several years now . and he didnt get to be the manager by being stupid slow or a smart ass . and the local people that knew him all wish he still worked nearby cause he was courteous and got their parts rt..al with the 25 dumb kids that some fools were to busy to teach responsibilty too. what goes around returns to you. a reformed smartass :}

 

years ago my daily driver was an OT '78 Mercury Zephyr that for some stupid reason I decide to hop up. It was a P.O.S.
I went into a parts place and said "I'd like a water pump for my '78 mercury Zephyr" The parts guy looked out the window and saw my car parked there and replied "that sounds like a good trade"
That cracked me up.

 

Now that's good humor I don't care who you are.

 

Jerking off in your mom's basement is a perfectly fine hobby, why develop a new one in order to be a dick?

 

I try not to be like many of the posters here who seem to just like to go into the McParts stores to screw with the counter people. I realize a little better than minimum wage job, and most likely just a job to make money while going to school. What frustrates me most is the systems the McParts store use for finding parts. With my old vehicles I have found over there years there are parts from newer vehicle that will fit and are easier to find. I go to the store's web sites, go through all the menus and find the parts I need, copy the part numbers and then go to the store. Never fails, I go up to the counter and when ask what I need I give the counter guy the part number hoping to cut the time down. Nope, I need to give the vehicle, year, engine and so before the guy can bring up the part number which I had when I walked through the door. I can't really blame the counter guy, it's the way the system is set up. What I won't tolerate is a nim rod who thinks he's an auto wiz and isn't'. I find this kind of guy usually is the older, 40+ year old guy.

Some guys are amazing though. The manager of my local NAPA store knows every nut and bolt in the store and knows where they are. I was installing mechanical gages in my '48 flathead and needed adapters. I had one from a pile of parts I got from my dad when he died but needed another one. I went to the McParts stores because I didn't think it was that odd of a part. No one had the next day, a Monday, I went to the NAPA store. The counter guy tried his best to match it to something in their fitting bin, no luck. Just as were giving up the manager walked past with his arms full of parts, took a glance at the fitting and asked, "You installing mechanical gages in a flathead? That's part #ABC123, they're over there on the rotating display." Just amazing.

One of the funniest things I've seen in a parts store was about 30 years ago. There was a kid, had to be 16, with his mom. He was all gitty trying to buy a engine gasket kit for a Vega four cylinder. As I'm standing there the kid is just yakking away about what he's going to do with the Vega once he inflates the tires and pulls it out of the high grass that it's been sitting in for the last ten years. Heck, these things were junk before they left the showroom, I doubt sitting in tall grass for ten years improved it. I kind of felt sorry for the kid.

 

I did say funniest lines from the parts counter... so here is one from the other side.
...And NO I don't have anything against folks that drive Hybrids as one of my family members have one and they work out pretty well in the city.

Customer: Hi I need a charger for my hybrid
Parts: Huh? why are you trying to charge your Hybrid?
Customer:Well its supposed to run on electric right? Ever since I ran out of gas it wont start.
Parts: That's true but you need the gas engine running to charge the battery, that's why its a Hybrid it does both.
Customer: Redfaced... walks out.