Funniest lines from the parts counter

Ha, good point. I can see it now, 'Protrusion/Intrusion'.

 

"protrusion/intrusion"....lol...I would guess there many who would consider both of those male.

 

”Hell, if I didn’t have any, I could sell them that cheap too!”

^^^ Now that's a funny line from the parts counter! Madening, but funny

 

When I was much younger (like 18/19), I worked at a general repair shop in San Antonio, Tx. I drove a (OT) '68 SS/RS 396 Camaro everyday, and leaving work one afternoon the head mechanic and I had a little impromptu drag race in front of the shop (he drove a '65 Mustang Fastback Gt-350 clone), long story short, my car picked that exact moment to break a rocker arm, and I lost. They had just opened up the first Super Shops in San Antonio a block up the street, so I pulled in to see if they had a rocker arm. They had only been open a week or so, and I walked up to the guy at the counter (he didn't look any older than I was), and asked for a rocker arm for a big block Chevy. He looked me dead in the face, with a very confused look on his face, and said "Chevy makes a big block?" After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I asked him to get me somebody else, as I was pretty sure he wasn't going to be able to help me. I don't remember clearly, but I think the only thing they had to fit itwas a high dollar set of Sig Erson roller rockers, and those wern't in stock. I went about a mile down the road and got a stock one from the Full Service auto parts store we bought all our shop stuff from. Should have just gone there first, but it was in the opposite direction from where I was heading....lesson learned!

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Permission to use this?? Tomorrow, even??
Love it!!

Cosmo

 

Absolutely! I can still hear the tone of his voice and laughed about it then and to this day 40 years later.

 

A few years ago my 77 maverick water pump started to seep a little so I called around and no one had one for a 250. Last store I called was the O'Reilly lady on the phone tells me they have one in stock she even went over to the shelf to verify it was there (or at least she said she did). I told her great I'm going to pull the old one off and I'll be in to get it in 45 minutes max. I get the pump off and go to get the new one and she tells me she can't find it. She then tells me it must have been sold in the time between getting off of the phone and getting to the store. I was fairly upset because I had told her to hold it for me. I think she didn't know what she was looking at and the pump was never there. So I ask if they have a gasket for the pump because the car was my daily and needed it fixed. No dice on that. I had to buy some gasket material and make one. That night I sent an email yo their corporate office and got a very fast response. The guy sent me a gift car to buy the water pump. The just had to order it in from the warehouse. That O'Reilly has become my store of choice. They have even set me up a commercial account.

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I worked at a salvage yard in Portland in the mid 70s when we hired a new hotshot sales guy from California.. One day some customer calls on the phone for a good used windshield for a 63 buick riv and Dennis quotes the guy $85 "and we'll cut it out of the wrecked car". The customer says 'I'll take it, get it ready."
A little later the customer arrives and Dennis shows the guy the glass and sits it on the counter. The guy says "Shit, those are only worth $65 and that's all I'll pay."
Dennis picks the windshield up and tosses it over the guy's head where it hits the concrete floor, shattering in a million pieces and Dennis says..."There! Now it's worth $65" Thought I was gonna die laughing! {BYW, it was Dennis who gave me the name Rocky]
And in a story similar to Mountainman2's story:........
Went to work for the truck parts salvage yard up the street for Dave...we only dealt in newer, low mileage salvage and the late dodge pickups changed their tailights in 1972 but never had them in stock at the dealers. People would come to us for 72-up Dodge pickup tail;ight lenses and we sold them for $25 because we could! This one dude came in the store and asks the boss if he has any Dodge tailight lenses..Dave says "Yup, I got 'em and they're $25.. The customer says "Damn! I just came from the Dodge dealer and they sell 'em for $22 brand new!"
Dave says "Why didn't you buy one there?"
Guy says "They didn't have any in stock" Dave says......ahem.............
"Welp, when I don't have any I sell 'em for $10!" This fuckin guy just stands there, trying to figure that one out. Gets red in the face, spins around on his heel and goes out the door without a word!

 

If I had a nickel for every time we said that one. Lol
Our store was literally within 2 blocks of Napa, Autozone, and Kragen and all on the same street.
Our advantage because we were independent was that we could buy from about 8 different warehouse within 5 miles and have it in a couple hours. At a bigger cost unfortunately. Our bread and butter were actually mobile mechanics. We could get most anything including AC Delco and Motorcraft.

 

All the brain cells just lined up. Lol
Must be the alcohol.

After I would get our cost I would multiply by 1.67 to get the 40% profit margin they always insisted on.

 

Thanks @Zerk

 

I heard my dad tell this one many times..
In the early '50s, he was the service manger at the Desoto dealer in our town. Own day a little Cajun man comes driving up to the service bay. He gets out of his brand new Desoto, face all red, madder than a wet hornet. 'Dis dam car, she go "Clunk, Clunk!" Dad tries to calm him down and offers to take a ride to listen for the noise. They ride around town for a few minutes but the Desoto never makes any strange sounds. The guy finally says he has to get to work so Dad drives they guy's Desoto to his office and drops him off, planning to put the car on the rack to see if they could find any possible noise source. They see nothing unusual, so dad uses the car all day, going to lunch in it, chasing parts, and taking and picking up customers. He never hears a peep of this noise the owner complained about.

The guy calls the shop that afternoon, even madder when he finds out they have not been able to fix the car. "Come pick me up and take me home. If you can't fix it by tomorrow, I want a new car!" says the guy so dad proceeds to go and pick the guy up and take him home. About two blocks from the guy's house, they go around a corner and hear "Clunk, Clunk!" The guy hollers "See, See! I tol' you she go Clunk Clunk! It was a loose manhole cover in the street. The guy had been driving over that loose cover for years with his old car and never heard the noise but one trip in the new Desoto....

 

Funny mechanics stories;

A guy I worked with tells this story of a little old lady that came to a shop he worked in. She got this car she got from here husband, she got a drivers license and started driving after his death.
She came to the shop and told the timekeeper/shop manager, " when it gets hot, it starts to loose power and would keep up with traffic.

So they let the young man at the shop take it out for a test drive, came back and claim: little slow at first, but no issues.
The send him our again, but try driving like a little old lady: no issues, at all.
The foreman delivered it to the old lady, and his he got picked up by one of the others guy.
Next day the old lady showed up again, and asked why they dident fix her car? Foreman took it out for a test drive, still no issues. She left the shop to go to the hairdresser and doctor, they checked it all over, no issues.
So after all at the shop gave it a go, no flaws to be found. The little old lady, picks up the car, and comes back and claims, still not working. So my colleague jumps in the passenger seat m, she is at the wheel, the first things she does is pull out the choke and hangs here perse on it, and leaves it all the way out. Car run like shit, and drives it slow, it won't move.

She wasn't happy when she found out she was to blame, and the guys at the shop couldn't stop laughing!

 

Working on a Sunday and only place open is Autozone.

Me- I need a stick of 3/16 steel brake line.
Counter jockey - what car do you need it for?
Me- Doesn't matter it's universal.
Counter jockey - I need to know what you need it to fit.
Me- It fits whatever I bend it to fit.
Counter jockey - I don't think we have that part.

 

So, not a parts counter, but from when I was the 'Lot-Boy' for the local Olds dealer. I'd just finished detailing an Eighty Eight for the new saleslady to use as a demo. We used to put the floor mats in upside down (rubber up) so they didn't get worn when used as a demo. Anyway I'd cleaned it, detailed, Armoralled the dash etc... She complains to me in front of my manager that her floormats aren't shiny like the rest of the dash/vinyl in the interior. I told her 'We don't Armorall the floormats'. She gets all mad says I need to do my job right and Armorall everything...

So I did, and she's all happy, gets the seat adjusted etc... then gets out of the car and falls on her a$$. She got the Armorall on her shoe soles. I laughed and said 'That's why we don't Armorall floormats' and walked away.

Manager gave me an extra $20 for the 'entertainment'

 

We had a delivery driver names Jose. Not the sharpest tool.

We called him over and told him, "go down to the Chrysler dealer and see Jose at the parts counter, he's gonna give you a part, just bring it back to the store"
He gets all nervous as if we overloaded him with information. Starts writing "Jose" on a piece of paper. We yell at him "why do you need to write it down, your name is Jose too!"

 

This is another one of my fathers.
He worked as a mechanic in the local Chevrolet dealer during the muscle car era.
The man who started the dealership always had red cars, he would get in any red car thinking it was his.
One day he jumped in his grandsons red 360 horse 396 4 speed Chevelle and put on quite a show.

 

similar story here--needed a part for my '66 f-100. i could not convince the guy at the counter that it had a 352. "you have a 351," he insisted.

 

My experience is similar to most posts here. When trying to purchase parts for My T bucket, its always an experience. The engine is a Pontiac, rear end is Chevy , Ford spindles up front, and everything else is "Universal" .
When the only way for them to find anything for you is by "Make, Model, and Year" I always walk out empty handed. But I found I DO have a NAPA that has experienced parts guys. It doesn't matter what I walk in with, Rear end parts, ignition parts, engine parts, I just toss them up on the counter and they have always come back with the correct part.................HOPE they never fire these guys or go out of business.

 

WOW! I should have found out what it was before i asked for one...................For years, i thought bell-air was the void inside the dinner bell............

 

Fords can be a bit complicated...351,352...427,428,429... FE, W, C, M...

 

Worked as a gas jockey in a full service gas station that always seemed to have oil change and grease job specials goin on to get more business. This was also before the employees only signs were posted and the customer would come in the stall while the car was on the rack and look underneath as if they knew what they were lookin at and pick the little pebbles out of the tires. Well one day we had run outa grease so the boss tells me to go in the back room where the compressor was located and make the PA CHEW sound the grease gun made. There was just a little glass block window in that back room to look into the bay so while he placed the grease gun on the various grease fittings I would make the PA CHEW sound. You should've seen him try to move that grease gun hose when I would just randomly make the PA CHEW sound not being in unison with his movements in the stall at all. Priceless. You'd have to see it to appreciate it. Wish they had Worlds Funniest Videos back then.

 

Forgive me for going a bit off topic ---

My wife was the only customer in a rural hardware store and 2 Amish employees behind the counter were paging through a catalog. It must have come from an electrical supply company because she heard one say "Black light bulb? That hardly makes any sense!"

 

Haha. The black light one is good.
Hey, they made a good point.

 

Not from the parts counter but funny-
I pulled into a show with my 53 Chevrolet as I parked a man said "Sounds like you still have the
the stovepipe six."
I said "You mean stovebolt six?"
"NO!, I mean stovepipe six." he said

 

We had a guy working at the shop that was a little slow catching on. The boss gave him a slip with the address for a service call to start a car. Instead of heading for the service truck Bob heads into the office. The boss asks what he's doing. Bob says he has to look at the map to find Hobart Street. The boss hollers; "BOB, YOU LIVE ON HOBART STREET!

 

A man walked up to the parts counter......the counterman asked what he needed.....he replied "Brakes"............counterman took the car make down and said we have plenty in stock, we have Wagner, Raybestos, and our brand.........the man said he would take the "Bestus ones dat Rays makes". Hmmmmmm.......... next.

 

Customer comes in for a parts for his Ford P/U. I punch in the particulars while asking "6 or 8 cylinder" "It's a 5-oh" "yes, 6 or 8 cylinder..."

I get THIS all the time on Jeeps: "is that a 6 or 8 cylinder?" "It's a Vee 6" "Are you sure, I only have a listing for an inline 6" "It's a VEE 6!!" "Are you sure of the year??" "Yes!!". I understand that the average know-nothing thinks that 'Vee 6' is what you call ANY 6, but Jeeps come both ways...and parts do NOT interchange...and few folks know the proper method for determining year.

Customer: "I bought this wheel bearing and it doesn't fit" "OK, what part number?" Gives. "That's the right one for a 2008, no choices" "It doesn't fit" "May I have the VIN?" Gives. "Sir, you have a 2007" "I do??" "Yes. How did you determine the year??" "Someone told me" (!!!)

Today, a couple came in: "I need some lifters for a Dodge Caravan" Me: "!! Why would you need lifters??" "It's knocking. We put oil in, but it's still knocking" "I'm sorry, but you might need a new engine, I've never sold lifters for an OHC engine."

Customer: "I need a brake booster for my truck" (He had just purchased a master cylinder) "Why do you think you need a booster?" "The pedal goes to the floor" "You may simply need to bleed the system" About ten minutes later: "Do you have a left front brake hose?"...

And the stuff I forget might be even better...

Cosmo

 

How many fathers do you have??