The Jalopy Journal
Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by artguywes, Jul 3, 2013.
So how did he get the belt to break at just the right time? LOL
Some time ago with little money , I desperately needed transportation and picked up a Ford Escort wagon for IIRC $250 . Among its' many virtues was the lack of a heater [even the core was missing] which was not a concern till late fall rolled around , even in Tennessee it gets cold in winter . The a/c was also missing many parts but the evaporator was there - can you guess where this is headed ? Once I got that hooked up - "Havin' a heat wave !" . When I took it to a salvage yard about 2 years later , I told the guy taking it in why he shouldn't sell the evaporator to anyone - he laughed for a good 5 minutes .
Your Gram'pa might have talked Granny out of her nylons but NOT her Panty-hose--- those didn't come along till 1962.
I remember changing a clutch on a 50 Ford about 1961 in Wendover Ut. by using the very last bit of clutch hookup the car had to drive it straight up as high as we could on a high- steep embankment along side a motel there to get it up high enough off the ground to get under it to work because we had no jack and no one in Wendover would loan us one. Got the car up there and it sat for almost two days like that while we waited for a clutch to come from Salt Lake City on Greyhound.
Had to use the whole trans as a pilot shaft -- don't try that if there is ANY other way!
When I was growing up in so. cal. my neighbors used to race Baja. They told me this story about being out in the middle of nowhere pre running the course and came across a baja bug abandoned full of tools, they kept driving and came across some guy with his MOTHER! she was crying and they were just walking through the desert. They gave them a ride back to thier car. The rear a arm was broken. They zip tied it with about 50 zip ties, and followed them back to the border. The guy later contacted them and said he put about 250 mi. on it like that to get home.
'72. Caddy I bought after my son was born, needed a family car, TR6 had no spot for a baby seat, developed a radiator leak in the middle of no where. Stopped at the only open place and sent my ex inside to get some stop leak while I verified nothing else was busted. They had none. I went in and stole a pepper shaker off a table in the dining area. Sold the car without ever having the radiator fixed.
Broke the throttle cable on the Comet one afternoon. Drove home using the choke cable to work the accelerator.
Dangerous? The steering donut in the TR6 disintegrated on me. Drove it across Atlanta with duck tape wrapped around the joint to buy a new one.
Dodge D-50 I had had a blow out. In the process destroyed the left front brak hose. I crimped the line closed and stopped every ten miles to top off fluid to get home.
Did no fix, but got bad fluid or something once and had the hydro clutch and brakes go out simultaniously in my GT6. Drove 60+ miles home shifting on the fly, using the e-brake, starting in first if I was forced to stop.
Have a couple of friends that happened to be brothers that back in the sixty's always had 55 and 56 chevy's, not primo cars but daily drivers always had something in need of repair. One night at the gas station we used to hang out at the 56 wouldn't start [weak battery] [this was a dicount station no repairs just gas and oil]. This car had a 265 with powerglide so the idea is to push start with the 55,trouble was no bumper on 55 and didn't want to mess up the tin so a couple of us get on the hood/fenders with our feet on the trunk of the 56 and away we go about 40 mph till it finally starts and he pulls away about that time it occours to us on the hood that this wasn't well thought out especially went we see the sick grin on the guy behind the wheel. It's amazing that so many people survived their teenage years without the government to protect us from ourselves.
Love this thread!
i have another duct tape story too, i had a tire that kept losing air. i thought i have a nail or something in it. took it to the tire shop and found air leaking from the rim. it was a weld wheel with 44 inch tires. anyhow the two piece rim was coming apart. i used a whole roll of duct tape to stop the air from leaking out. i had the tire shop guy pull the tire off and we taped the center of the rim.
anyhow weld wheels sent me a whole new set for free. the tape held up from palm springs to los angeles.
In my youth [a few years ago] I decided to replace the clutch and clutch plate on my '60 VW bug while the engine was pulled for a valve job. [Hand-carried it into the basement for the repairs.] Did not have an alignment tool but found a length of bamboo that was a perfect fit for alignment and engine went back in easily.
On those early bugs everything was adjustable and you had to adjust everything.
Trailer hitch broke on my single axle race trailer about 10 miles from home.
Fortunately the safety chains worked and and the trailer tongue only beat the doors on the tow van a few times before I got it stopped.
I didn't see any way to cobble up a repair for the missing latch pieces to the coupler assy so I jumped on the tongue and had my wife drive the rest of the way home - slowly.
Other than a lot of odd stares and pointy fingers as we were getting passed, the limp home was uneventful. Kids did ask when they could ride on the trailer like daddy did a few times.
59-60 Pontiacs have a motor mount that is a chunk of rubber bonded to metal on each side and the bolt goes vertically up from the bottom.
Well, when they get old, they break, the motor lifts up, the rod throttle linkage jams up and the car takes off.
I fixed one side, then the other, by wrapping the broken pieces with a coathanger. Then I ordered up a new set and eventually changed them.
My driver now the exhaust pipe rotted out and came loose, and the muffler was shot too. The support for the rear of the muffler is the rear pipe hangers, so without it it just hangs in the air. Now I had a muffler from another one I'd been driving, so I slapped that on, but I didnt have a rear pipe. I didn't want it to fall off, so I pulled a piece of old brake line off the '50 Chevy I'd been working on and wrapped it around to give some support.
Some day I should probably fix that.
Then there was the Suburban I was driving and the gas tank almost fell off. I fixed it with a cheapo 1" ratchet strap to get home. On the way home I bought some 300# rated cable for hanging plants in a Wal-mart, just in case.
Well, when the tank straps I bought turned out to be the wrong ones I said screw it, took that cable and ran it back and forth under there until I ran out. Worked just fine.
I keep an extra roll of wire in the truck just in case, too.
71 F100 3 in tree with 200000 miles had sloppy linkage - the cotter pins fell out - lucky there were some small nails in the gutter and I suspect it's still that way.
Other is a Japanese car that had a throttle cable snap on a bridge on an evening commute. Lucky it was on the pedal end - pulled cable out of jacketing
Routed through the hood gap and used left hand to operate the throttle - fun in a 5 speed in Ca traffic.
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Broke the rear end mounts in my TE-440 dragster (see avatar) at San Gabriel, 1962...we had a logging chain in the back of Blair's truck, so wrapped it around the frame and the rear, bolted it in several places, and made two more runs with it...this was a slingshot dragster, and had the chain failed, I would be speaking in a very high voice....the word "stupid" is inadequate here, probably the Darwin Award would have been more suitable....
A friend of my dads had rod bearing knocking. He pulled over to the side of the road droped the pan pulled the bearing cap off took a piece of leather belt cut a strip off installed the leather bolted it all together and away we went. I dont know how long it lasted but it worked.
Two years ago we were taking my wife's chevelle to a show when we hit rough road . The car dies and starts smoking from under the hood. I lift the hood to find both battery cables on FIRE . I disconnect the battery with my leather man tool and put the fire out. We found that the positive battery cable had swing into the header and welded itself to the header. I thought about it for a second and went to the trunk got out the tool box and jumper cables. I fashioned a new set of battery cables out of the jumper cables. And 20 mins later we were back on the road.
I was ridin' in my buddies 63 VW Type I when the throttle cable broke...
"No problem", I sez, hoppin' outta' the car "I'll work the throttle, n' you can drive it."
So I sat on the rear bumper with my ass on the driver's side and my legs clear across the rear bumper with my feet pointin' toward the passenger side. The hood was up and I had my left arm wedged between the hood n' cowl and I worked the throttle lever on the little ole' Solex carb with my right hand.
It was 1973 or so- we musta' been a sight, a coupl'a long-hairs runnin' down the road in a clapped out bug, with one sittin' on the rear bumper workin' the gas...
A Fairfax County cop pulled us over about two miles from my buddy's place.
As the cop walked toward me he said "What'n the hell are ya' doin', boy?"
"Well sir", I said, "He's drivin' n' I'm just workin' the throttle."
"I guess he can't go no faster than you want him to go" the cop said as he walked back to his car ...
We made it home with a cop escortin' us...
Stopped at my friends house years ago, and when I went to leave I found that the starter had died.. so we wrapped a rope around the crank pulley, over the fender and tied it to his fourwheeler... two pumps of the gas and him taking off and my old truck fired right up..
Coming home from work one night the throttle cable broke.. luckily one of the kids had left their head phones in the cab, so I tied one end to the broken throttle cable, and did the left hand gas thing..
Riding in my buddies shit box work car and the bolt for the idler pulley on the serpentine belt stripped out... luckily it was a front wheel drive car so the engine was in there sideways... so I took a socket that fit the bolt, and a small block of wood, and wedged it between the fender enough to hold the idler pulley in place to make it home...
I've got a ton of those old "fix it in a bind" stories... but I believe the best is just the opposite of that...
I had a old 78 Bronco on 44's back when I was a kid, that I had a small cord that was tied under the dash.. it ran through the fire wall to the coil wire... so I could make that old truck die any time I wanted.... Man I use to love to take those girls fourwheeling and kill it way out in the woods in the middle of the night... good times...
friend of mine has a late model gm with a 3100v6. The stupid water pump outlet pipe rotted from the inside out while at work. I took a tire plug, coated it in rubber cement, and clamped it over the hole with a hose clamp. After it got good and hot i gave it a little more tightening. Didn't leak a drop for the three weeks until he got the new part!
My alternator bracket broke and i had to shorten the fan belt to drive the water pump...
coat hanger throttle linkage still in place two trips to lonestar roundup and every thing in between duct tape holding on chrome on the hood and keeping the rear view mirror from just spinning as I drive. zip ties holding the front right door shut and ratchet strap to keep hood closed but she is my child so don't hate
Broke a bolt holding the twist beam rear axle on a VW Rabbit, on a road rally. Tied it back into place with a come along tied to rear bumper and front suspension point. Finished the rally and drove 200 miles back home. Steered a little wonkey over bumps on the pavment, hardly noticed it on the dirt.
Son in law (ex) used the tube off a percolator coffee pot to repair a leak in an automatic transmission cooler line. Borrowed hose and clamps from the motorcycle in the back of the truck.
In 1988, my neighbor's nephew stops to visit Uncle on his way from SW Missouri to Dallas, to a big job interview. He pulls up in a '65 Barracuda, which was a decent 20-footer, and I had not had a chance yet to see the car up-close. That was gonna change real soon!
The car won't start on the day he was to head out. I walk across and pop the hood to help get it running. WOW, was this beast a nightmare of everything not to do under the hood! For starters, the battery was duct-taped to the very rusted battery tray. The underhood "harness" was mostly lamp cord, one bit of gauge 0 cable, lots of electrical tape and masking tape, and two 110V recepticles! The motor "mounts" were two hockey pucks and two large hose clamps. The transmission mount was not even tightened, so the tailshaft flopped around a bit. The exhaust was exceptionally creative, using four Coke cans, two Budweiser cans, two bits of exhaust pipe, lots of hose clamps and exhaust pipe clamps, a couple of clothes hangars, and one burnt-out glasspack muffler! The two rear tires were bald...not a lick of tread on them. The fronts were marginal, at best.
I told his Uncle what I'd found, and he told his nephew that he'd buy him a bus ticket to Dallas, and that he was not going to drive that car anywhere! I offered the kid $200 for the car, as it did run, had a nice body and glass, and the interior was in pretty damn nice shape! I could part it, if nothing else! Probably saved the kid's life by ratting his wreck out to his Uncle.
In the end, I yanked what was supposed to be a 273 and ended up being a '72 340 (score!), and parted the remainder of the car out. Found out while I was parting the car that the right rear brake and the left front brake lines had been pinched off, and that the brake hardware and shoes were completely missing from them! He'd been driving on just two opposing brakes, and on a single-pot master cylinder, too!
This was definitely the most creative use of non-car parts in a car that I can remember seeing.
Oh, and he did get that job in Dallas
Used to share a ride to work with a friend.His car was running badly and said needed the carb rebuilt.Next mon the car ran better and he said he fixed it.I asked "rebuilt carb?"....he said no and showed me all he had to do was wedge a Bic pen in the carb to hold the choke open!!! Don't know how long he drove it like that!
I was running a boat with an old 50's 4 cyl Mercury way up a river that was deserted when the motor quit.The screws holding the dist cap on had fell out & couldn't find them.The holes on that dist go all way through and I was able to thread shoe laces through and tie the cap on and make it back.Cap had an indexing tab,and fit snug so it worked well
68 Firebird, throttle cable broke in town on a Sunday, only thing open was a Kmart. Went in and bought some vinyl covered clothesline, took old cable off, threaded clothesline through a hole in firewall, tied it in knots at the carb and pedal. Lasted the week it took to get a new one from GM.
84 Ford F150 4x4, the gear rack in the tilt column that worked the ignition switch stripped out, switch would turn a complete 360, unlock column, but not the shifter or work the switch. I took the switch off the column and used a screwdriver to crank it. Pried the linkage off the column under the hood, so you put it in gear, cranked it, then went on your way. Got the linkage broke free when I got home, never fixed the switch, just used a small screwdriver to crank and kill it. Was still that way when I sold it.
I have done lots of stuff to semi trucks while away from home, too broke to call a shop. Tied a fuel tank up on a Peterbuilt with a 2" ratchet strap and a chain. Made an "O" ring for a air dryer out of a light bulb tinting rubber. Patched a leaking main air line with a piece of inner tube and a hose clamp. Used tarp straps to hold on a alternator after the bracket broke. Tied a rear end to the frame with a chain after a stabilizer bar broke letting it shift. Wiper linkage broke on a International 9900i, zip ties, coat hangers and tarp straps fixed it until I got home. Return spring on Peterbilt clutch linkage broke, letting the clutch rod fall off on one end, put it back on and two tarp straps replaced the missing spring. Had a 74 Pete cabover that had a hardware store barrel bolt on the drivers door to keep it from popping open going down the road.
At Goodguys Charlotte with the boys, one is driving his 70 Boss 429 mustang in perfect condition....$150K car. He is in line to go on the track cruise when his steering lets loose. We find that the pitman arm and the drag link have come apart and no castle nut. Cram the drag link back on, happen to find the castle nut on the control arm. Borrowed a bobby pin fom one of the girls and pinned it, he went on his way. He did not, however, take it on the track.
Went to cut a christmas tree for a friend's bug.....baja bug turned fenderless hot rod. Snuck the tree out of the woods, tied it on top f the bug and headed home. The wind caught the tree, snapped the front string and the tree tipped up, driving the tree trunk into the engine.....it dies. Find the distributor cap is askew, popped it back on and still no fire. Find both halves of split rotor button, use some twine from tree to tie back together, re install, tie tree on top trunk first and made it home.
Pantyhose hadn't been invented in the '40s or '50's that I remember. Must have used a stocking.
Many years ago I purchased a 57 Ford. The left engine mount was broken, I Found the previous owner had used some barbed wire and wraped it around the exhalst manifold and the chassis. I later asked him why .. He said it broke and their was a fence by the road.. It held the engine down until I could repair.. On time on my pan head the throttle cable broke I replaced it with a 10 speed bicycle shifter cable. Had a friend who repaired air conditioners who had a flat and the spare was flat also.. He inflated the tire with freon. expensive YES but he got home.
A lady came into the parts store i was working at on a sunday morning with a fuel pump she did not know what kind of car it came from but she needed one just like it... After some searching thru the pix in the book and reviewing some in stock found it 54 chev six ... Ok sold asked what it was for she sez tom thumb donut machine at the carnival up the street at the park
Same thing happened to the right front of my OT POS Fiat when I was just out of college. 10 o'clock at night, 100 miles from home, no money, & had to be at work the next day. Took the vise grips I'd been using as a window crank & pinched off the brake line. Tied them to the lower a arm with a piece of bailing wire. Drove it that way for 2 months until I got my tax return & replaced the Fiat with a slightly less crappy Plymouth. Just had to have a good grip on the steering wheel when you hit the brakes, or you'd end up swapping lanes.
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