Rules to live by when workin on your Rod

When drilling on your drill press clamp the part then drill...move hand across steel to see if it smooth when done!....in the winter..who needs heat?..just wear a loose flannel when grinding! Aim the sparks toward shirt...instant heat! ( don't waste a beer putting it out!) when hemming a piece of sheet metal with no brake...use a 5 pound sledge and a 1/4" piece of flat stock...start at one end and move your way down the sheet metal.....make sure your thumb gets in the way!...now drink the beer! Where's the Racer tape?...aaahh! Stop the bleeding!...for now. Finish job! Go to hospital 5 hours later!...doc says " when did you do this?" Be afraid to tell the truth! Doc says "you should still be numb, let's stitch it!".....not enough beer!

 

cut to size , beat to fit , paint to match.....

 

Dads gonna enjoy reading this, he grew up doing this when it was new and I know him and his brothers pulled a lot of this stuff when they were kids,
how about when trying to launch a model rocket, cram in that last bit of fuel to make sure it explodes on the launch pad and scares the **** out of the family member in the outhouse, plus causes you to lose a good bit of the hearing in one ear, you can't have fun like this today you would be arrested

 

lol

 

I've heard that when you're working around your utility trailer and you notice a couple hundred yellow jackets have made a nest under it, starter fluid (ether) and a cigarette lighter can make a lovely flame thrower. It will instantly eliminate all but about 30 of them in a giant ball of flame. The remnant will surely be as amused as you are about the whole thing, and may even thank you or your dog with playful dive-bomb kisses. If you tire from this, you can hide inside the house, laughing at the dumb insects through the closed glass door as they search in vain for you, until you notice your trailer's on fire. They will wait patiently as you try to put it out with a garden hose. They won't swarm you at all.

I don't remember where I've heard all that from but I'm sure it must be true.

 

When you are chopping your door tops for your model a with your cutoff wheel, lock the switch in ON position cuz it makes the job go quicker, and when your tired just rest the grinder on your lap while ít's still on, cuz you don't want to waste the time to lock it in position again. I promise it wont cut right into thigh almost to the bone. Ask my buddy about his thigh scar.

 

^^^ oh hell no man! ^^^
I would NEVER do that, i wouldnt even leave it on on the shop floor.
Im honestly scared from the frekkin grinder. I use it a lot, but cant get past the idea that it can chop my fingers, or worse, in a blink.
I didnt use the guard for years, but i recently put it back on.

 

...

 

har dee har har

 

could have been much worse

 

Probably not what you were thinking about, but the femoral artery runs down your thigh, cut that and say bye bye.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080316225340AA2SKYv

 

When welding ALWAYS wear those elastic sided boots which have a handy built-in slag catcher at the front. This will contain that little bit of red-hot metal as it burns through your sock (if your wearing them), and 4 layers of skin on the top of your foot. You get the bonus of the "someone's cooking hog" smell while you practice the "Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck!!!!" dance, all in the privacy of your workshop. Note that this is can be done in WINTER ONLY, as in summer you should be welding barefoot or in thongs (Flip Flops?),
The correct way to tourque up a bolt is keep heaving on it untill it strips, then back off 1/2 turn.
Always put your bare arm down inside a panel where you can't see as there are never any sharp edges or pointy ends of screws which will gouge a drag strip in your arm as you pull it out.

 

^ ^ ^ This is damn good advice! ^ ^ ^

I got a cherry down my boot once. It hurt like fuckin' hell, could see it glow when I took my boot off. I now have a "Hot" tatoo on the ball of my ankle.

I now tape my pant legs to my boot when I cut or weld.

 

Along with this always use the largest wattage bulb that will fit in the trouble light. Helps you keep warm whle working under a dash.

 

if it cut off something else you would have probably wished it cut the artery

 

Always use a drop light when pulling a gas tank. That way when you drop the tank on the bulb everything will really light up.

 

Drill hole in tank to drain first, no worries

 

Don't sugar coat it when you said thongs you meant bannana hammocks!

 

I just ate I didn't need to see that dammit

 

A couple of cinder blocks work just as well and can be stolen a whole lot easier than jackstands.

 

your's will be the "extra crunchy" type.

 

just one more thing I'll never be able to "un-see".

 

It took me forever to figure out that Papaw wasn't serious when he said this.

I'm going to have to show him this trick.

 

I might have mentioned this before, but when cutting off a rusted nut with a cut off wheel, make sure the still really really hot piece is inside your hat which is on the ground, then you can slap it on your head, give yourself second degree burns and do the cussing hat dance, I wouldn't know anyone who actually did this now and someone please delete the weird guy in the bannana hammock, every time I scroll down the page it burns my retinas like a welding flash

 

It's not really necessary to put your new engine completely back together before you run it to adjust the valves. You especially don't need the water pump, fan, radiator, coolant, etc. You're not going to run it that long and besides, you'll be able to tell if it's getting too hot. Also, don't worry about the fact that the new high pressure oil pump is spraying oil across the driveway onto the hood of moms car. She'll stop yelling about that as soon as everything (including dad) is on fire. It won't be long now.

 

When performing a first start up on a SBC, always ensure that that there is no obstruction in the oil pressure switch hole next to the dizzy. This way you can tell what your oil pressure will be by seeing how high it squirts out of the hole, covering evrything in new, clean oil. (Handy hint: 5' = 45 PSI)

 

Don't get it right the first time -don't worry by the third time you will just move on !

 

Don’t ever put the cap back on the oil tank for your motorcycle once you just finished changing the oil when it is time for a drive…you wanted to spend several hours cleaning instead of going out.

Be sure you always use the acetylene touch directly above the acetylene hose…

Let the machine shop keep your block for 3+ months…you don’t like driving your old car/truck anyways.

It’s a good idea to let your friend roll your motorcycle backwards off the tilt trailer in neutral…with the forks still locked.

Snow drift busting is fun. Then there is that one drift you have wanted to hit for days but there was a car to close to it all the time. Well the car is now moved; its go time…except its no longer a snow drift, its an ice ramp… yea good times. Oh and you don’t break lots of stuff in the process at all.

You don’t need to latch the trailer down to the ball…your only moving it a few hundred feet.

 

Don't worry about removing the breaker-bar and socket you were using to turn the crank, it will nicely fall off when you start the engine.

 

I never fail to make a mental note not to spill it before I grab my oil bath breather and yank hard enough to pour oil all over engine, floor and clothes I told myself would be fine to wear to garage since I won't do anything to get dirty.