'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the shop Not a creature was stirring, all the work just had stopped, The tools were all hung on the peg board with care, In hopes that Santa soon would be there The cars were all parked safely covered in the garage, My Roadster, My Pickup, and even my Hemi Dodge My wife in her robe and I in my Batman P.J.'s Had just settled down after shopping for days When out on the driveway there arose such a clatter! It sounded to me just like pressure plate chatter On to the driveway I flew like the Flash I tripped over the dog and landed in the trash When there in the driveway beneath the Moon and the Stars Sat a Model A with chrome ladder bars As I walked up closer to get a better view I noticed a Blown Flathead and cheater slicks too There behind the wheel sat a driver so tuff With Tattoos, an earring, and beard oh so ruff Dressed in Black leather he looked like a Bruiser I knew right away he must be the Flathead Cruiser" "I pulled second, I pulled third, then I heard a big Bang, Things started to smoke, things started to clang!" "I spotted your big garage with hopes of repair" His back seat was full of presents, but I tried not to stare. "If you can fix my Ford and make it shift right I will give you these gifts for ruining your night" We opened the door and pushed the Ford in Before I got underneath, he gave me a wink and a grin The headers were hot, the slicks they were sticky That blow-proof bell housing would make the job tricky. I turned on my droplight and gave it a look The big 3 inch exhaust was making me cook. When there to my surprise what did I see? The four tranny bolts had wiggled themselves free I grabbed my trusty torque wrench and started to turn As I tightened the last one I could smell my sleeves burn He slid behind the wheel and then fired up that mill. As I directed him out, just listening to it idle, it gave me a chill A Big Blown Flattie with two 94's up top Chrome reverse rims and a 2 inch suspension drop. He eased it out to the street and set the line lock I knew this would not be quiet, probably wake the whole block He revved it to 6 grand and let the clutch pop As the rubber and smoke poured from the tires I spotted a cop! He released the line lock and let that Ford loose This baby was ALL MOTOR with no signs of Juice! He fishtailed sideways, grabbed Third with plenty of guts With Police in chase he screamed out "MAKE SURE YOU USE LOCKTITE SO YOU DON'T LOOSE YOUR NUTS!"
The Jalopy Journal
