Famous "car guy" quotes.

One of our greatest race drivers, Dick Johnson came up with a few good ones when in car cameras and talking to the driver was being pioneered here.

After qualifying for Bathurst the commentator was talking to DJ, he told him his time, DJ replied,
'Well thats better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick'.

When getting cut off while talking on race cam,
'YOU PRICK'
Both of them live on Australian TV.

He ran in the US for a few races in NASCAR in the mid 80s, on being shunted off the track by Richard Petty on US national TV,
'Ah, you POOFTER'

He said he spent the rest of his time trying to convince people the word Poofter was an Aussy term of endearment.

Doc.

 

Another Aussy great Peter Brock while in the pits at Bathurst with a missing engine,

Mechanic, 'Whaddya rekon, shit in the carby?'
Peter Brock, 'If you think it will help'

 

J.J. do you want me to start the examinationright away?

 

"The Car was Wicked Fast"
Bentley Warren

 

real cars have stone chips

 

"He didn't bump you, He didn't nudge you, He rubbed you and rubbin son is racing"

 

"You can paint a turd red, but it's still a turd"

"You can't make chicken soup from chicken shit"

"I'll give you a choice. You can paint that fence, or I can kick your ass and THEN you paint the fence"

My Dad.

 

The best way to make a million dollars racing is to start with two......
Richard Childress

 

''Watch This'' ''You Ain`t Seen Nothing Yet''



Most Ham`rs

 

another from Peter Brock..
Media guy..." what sort of qualifying tyres you got on Peter"
P.B. "round black ones"

 

Don't lift until its upside down on fire John Force

 

i read this in a old hotrod magazine, i cant remember who said it though.
"you dont drive a hotrod out of the metro, because it is to far to tow it home"

 

Both of these may be on here

"IF your gona be dum, You better be tuff"

"That thing couldnt pull a greasy string out of a cats ass"

 

"only thing worse than a car that wont run? PUSHING a car that wont run" Cal "King of the Mountain"

 

I knew Mike. Man could he build a motor! Super guy too!

 

I was at a testing session for a new driver. As he scraped the outside wall and pancaked the side of the car. Former NASCAR driver Erine Irvine said " he didn't run out of track or over dove the car.....he ran out of talent!

 

Brock Yates at an old Barrett-Jackson: "Give an Englishman a piece of metal and he'll do something stupid with it."

 

"It was runnin' when it was pulled" - Anyone selling and engine on craigslist.

 

"Light the fires, turn the tires"
"Runs like a striped ape"
"That car really carries the mail"
"She's a pup"
"That motor sounds like a tomato juice can full of rocks"
"If that car were any slower, it'd be going backwards"
"Wait for me at the finish line"
"It put a valve in the oil pan"
"Drove over my crankshaft"
"Grind me off a pound" (Grinding gears)
"Shot at and missed, sh_t at and hit"
"Take me drunk, I'm home again"
"I'd rather have a good bicycle than drive a _____"
"That car is a pine knot burner" (Smokes)
"Fill er' up with oil, check the gas"
"That radiator's hotter than a four-di_ked dog"
"It'll take a Philadelphia lawyer to straighten out that carburetor"
"A family of Mexicans could fit in that trunk"
"Can't turn that car around in a 40 acre field" (Turning radius)
"You could land a DC-3 on the hood of that car"

 

when asked how many hot rods are two many he answered 1 is to many but a 100 aint enough .... billy gibbons

 

Why do they drink warm beer in England? Because Lucas ( electrics ) makes refrigerators too! By unknown, stranded BSA rider.

 

A greeting, salutation, admonishment, question, remark, answer, all round general use comment...
"Da Fuck" the late and very great Pat Foster.

 

That thing couldn't pull a sick whore off a piss pot

That thing couldn't pull a stiff dick out of a bucket of lard

 

Smoky Yunick speculating on what these modern crew chiefs carried in thier carbon-fibre briefcases: "speed secrets, i guess"

 

Say, I like the color of your car there, man. What's that s'posed to be? Sort of a cross between piss yella' and puke green ain't it?

I ain't nobody dork

Bob Falfa- Harrison Ford

 

"i lost control after the third flip", don roberts (aa/fd driver of the jade grenade rear engine top fuel dragster after the crash)

 

I remember seeing a tech article where Smokey Unick (sp?) was asked about a forged crank vs. a cast iron crank.I'll paraphrase as best I can" I never much liked cast it's just a small amount of metal connected by a large series of holes" I'm not sure if that is a famous quote but I think it's a good one!

 

A few from oval track racing:

Dick Caso after wadding up a modified " Well, there goes another 50 pounds of welding rod"

Supermodified driver Armand Holley:" You know you're running good when everyone is going as fast as they can and you're going as fast as you want"

Marty Himes yelling to the clocker when the driver he was crewing for went out to time trial at Langhorne in 1965:" Get out your sundial"

 

Smokey again ~
'You can't make a race horse out of a pig,
but you can make one damned fast pig.'

 

I just take a chunk of aluminum, put it in the mill, and cut away everything that doesn't look like a mirror.

John Buttera