What's the best Auto "Sayings"/Mantra's

my old boss use to call his tool a purple headed diamond cutter.

 

Isn't there one for Lucas electrics?

Locked up tighter than a bulls ass sewed up with a log chain.
Fine as frog's hair.
An artical about some 80's Kawasaki 1000 about how hard the seat was
"The only reason they upholstered the seat was to keep it from rusting."

 

You know your a good mechanic when you can make it run and still have parts left over. JC

 

FORD;
Failure Of Research Development
Flipped Over Reservation Decoration
Found On Reservation Dumps
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
F-'n Old Retard Drivin'
For Only Retarded Drivers
First On Repair Dolly
F-'n Owner Really Dumb
Four Old Rusty Doors
Flip Over Read Directions
Favorite Of Redneck Drivers
*BACKWARDS*
Driver Returns On Foot
Dumb Retards Own Fords
Dorks Ride On Fords

And some provided by my "friends":
CHEVROLET--Cracked Heads Every Valve Rattles Oil Leaks Engine Ticks
CHEVROLET~Currently Has Every Vehicle Recalled On Lousy Engine Torque
GMC~~~~~~~~~Got Mechanic Comming
GMC~~~~~~~~~Gay Mens Choice
CAMARO~~~~~~Cant Anyone Make A Real Offer
NOVA~~~~~~~~Noisy Overhead Valve Arangement
RS~~~~~~~~~~Really Slow
SS~~~~~~~~~~Super Slow <!-- / message --> <!-- sig --> __________________

 

MOPAR
Move
Over
Pontiac
Approaching
Rapidly

 

Messed
Up
Shit
That
Aint
No
Good

 

Lucas

Loose, Unsoldered Connections And Splices

JG

 

H.a.m.b
honkie ass message board

 

Sucess is self inflicted
Electrics run on smoke, keep the smoke in the wires and its all good

 

I have to throw in acouple I heard from my Dad as we worked in the garage.

"slicker-n-snott on a glass door knob"
"V for victory"
"now we're cookin with gas"
and after every job well done he would add
"just like down town" sometimes abbreviated with enthusiasm "Down Town!"

Cars or not, the garage is where is was said. And too the fellows at what used to be the Big a speed shop (now napa) in Americanfork Utah, I always loved the 5 foot sign behind the counter of a old west ol' coot with one eye lined up with you and the pistol your largely staring down, with a caption that reads, "we shoot every third customer and the second one just left" Hats off to ya Big Al Godfrey and Albert

 

Good enough for who it's for...

 

I always liked a sign behind the parts counter at my local motorcycle shop that said "IF YOU HAVE A $19.95 HEAD....YOU SHOULD BUY A $19.95 HELMET."

-----------

They also had a piston out of a railroad locomotive (about 16-inch diameter) sitting there with a small sign that said "We Sell Big-Bore Kits"

--------

JG

 

an old autobody saying...

"nobody sees beneath the knees"

 

I thought that was just painters or maybe it was below the waist

 

"Close enough for government work"

"It's not stripped, I just rounded the edges"

"Hand me the left handed screwdriver"

"There's nothing a torch can't remove"

"You just need a bigger hammer"

 

"so your like a doorknob right, no im like a steering wheel on a hot rod"...."everyone grabs me and holds on"..............

 

"Speed costs money, how fast do ya wanna go?" JC

But my most personal favorite is "Fuck you very much Barris" a reply to "How ya doin' Johnny" Cow Palace 1962 (must have been a personal thing)

 

who needs a horn when you got a finger!

 

M ostly
O ld
P arts
A nd
R ust

 

Speed costs money, how fast do ya wanna go?"

That is truly, one of the best ever! ;o)

And it goes well with: "There is NO substitute for cubic money."!

JG

 

put the pedal to the metal.

-scott noteboom

 

A variation on that:
"I enjoy anything that turns money into noise"


Also (sorry if this already got posted):
"How do you make a small fortune out of motor racing?
- Start with a large one."

 

Put out, or GET out!

 

"tighten it until it strips then back it off a quarter of a turn"
"don't force it get a bigger hammer"
"REAL race cars don't have doors"

 

The light at the end of the tunnel...is a TRAIN!

 

You gotta run what you brung!
or
You gotta dance with what brung you!

 

Backaruda

NO!!! REPEAT AFTER ME

Ba ba
ra ra
cu cu
da da

Now say it again
backaruda.

 

"No need a Helmet, I´ve a hard hard head"

 

...from a much wiser Boss-Man years ago...."Life is like a Shit Sandwich, so pack lots of bread to make it go down easier !!"

 

Take me drunk, I'm home again
If you're in control, you're not driving fast enough.
Looks pretty good...For a sow tittie paint job!
Hottern' a 4 dicked dog
There's enough blacks here to make a Tarzan movie
Stick your foot to the mat
Keep the shiny side up, the greasy side down
It's hottern' a June bride
He's rather climb a tree and lie than stand on the ground and tell the truth
This car is scary as fuckin standing up in a hammock
Wrap yer brain around this shit
If that car was any slower it would be going backwards
He's dumber than a box of rocks
You can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear but you can make a damn fast pig.