a sign i'm spending too much time on the HAMB

Strange...I was just sitting here...on company time...reading the HAMB and suddenly the brand new expensive office chair I was sitting on collapsed under the weight of my enormous ass and I fell on the floor. That wasn't very cool at all. It's not like I leaped onto the chair or anything...I was already sitting in it...perfectly still. That sucks.

I'm starting to second guess the seats in the bug being screwed into the plywood. I think I'm going to put some seatbelts and real seat mounts in it when I get back to Indiana. This would have been a catastrophic accident on the interstate. I fucked up a perfectly good doughnut just by it happening here at a desk. I can't imagine what would have happened to me or my meal if I'd been going 70MPH.

 

We had something similar happen to office chairs where I work... A co-worker was sitting in one of them one day and we heard this loud bang... the next thing he knew he was being pushed up out of the chair as the piston that controls the height of the chair was going out the bottom and pushing the chair up...

 

...that's some funny stuff

 

Try this chair for your next donuts .... LOLOLOL



Designed for comfort and durability, this chair is tailor made for people of any size or height! The extra thick foam seat is made with comfort in mind, and the heavy-duty construction is safe and stable.


500 lbs. weight capacity
Hi-density 5 1/2" thick seat foam
3/4" plywood seat frame
Fully upholstered back
Heavy duty arm kit optional
Durable Aluminum base
Teflon-coated, stain-resistant fabric
Available for quick ship

Dimensions


Seat size: 23"W x 22.5"D
Back size: 24"W x 23"H
Seat height: 18" - 22"
Overall height: 43" - 46"
Overall width: 23"
Overall depth: 25"
Base size: 5 Star - 27" aluminum
Weight: 60 Lbs

 

Don't think of it as an enormous ass. Think of it as ballast. Which you'll need to keep the front end down when that chrysler airflow is turned into a gasserific pickup.

 

i have a very traditional 50's era state issued chair I'm sitting in right now.. I could run over it with a dump truck and it would survive... very attractive drab green vinyl too,

 

I have one of those at the house! damn thing is built like a tank.

 

Mmmmmm.....d o n u t s...........

 

sounds like a suit to me. product defect

 

I personally mounted those seats, and I assure you the 30 year old rotted 1/2" plywood will get you killed if you left them in. I'm glad you have decided to make the change. I'll sleep better tonight.

BTW, you fuck up another donut and I'm gonna have to put you in the infamous "Eagletucky headlock". You sir, dont want that!

 

On company time???? Hell Scoob as much as your on here I didn't think you had a day job...lol

 

Thats funny, the first thing you thought to do was to post it on here. Hell, I'd bet you were still sitting on the floor when you started this thread! Its not that you're spending too much time on here, its called dedication.

 

Here's a couple of options for you...

 

oh dam I just spit up my dinner!!! I was chowing down when I started reading this and almost plastered my 8 yr old girl with dinner!!!! thats some crazy shiat!!! now we are both laughing about it. Anyhow Keep up the good work are our tax dollars at least paying your salary? hehehe There is no pun or meanness intended just good old funnnnnnnn

 

What sucks for me is that we have a filtering device inplace that allows me to actually track how much time I spend on the internet - and I has reports that show when and where I was.

I'm the sys-admin that set the devices up.

- Joe

 

I think I'm just going to put a roll bar on it. I don't think any chair can support me but I sure could have used a cage in this particular incident. I smashed the last yeast doughnut into the carpet with my forehead. I don't mind a flat doughnut, it's the hair that bothers me.

 

The big question is did anybody see ya do it? cuz if they didn't it never happened, you just came back from a potty break and the chair was broken!

 

Eat a salad...

 

For gosh sakes , don't tell anybody else!

 

This shit is killin me. And for what it's worth I already crapped out the piston on one of NITROFC's suggested chairs. I don't even weigh 300 pounds ... yet, but when that sucker let go my teeth clacked together I hit so hard. I had an audience for that one and coffee all over myself, I'm just thankful my tongue was in my mouth and I had set the donut down just before it happened.
As a side note, I have to wonder how many lost man-hours the HAMB is responsible for across the world. I bet if it could be tallied up once a quarter, it would be an astronomical figure. Best not to dwell on it.

 

My eight year old wanted to sleep on an old cot that her grandparents gave her last weekend. She set it up and said she was going to sleep on it from now on. I said it did not look very comfortable, she assured me it was, and urged me to try it out. I indulged her....it took about 45 seconds or so, or just long enough to instill the same kind of confidence as those guys on a dunk tank stool. Anyway, use your imagination to finish the story. I feel for you Scoob, I just wished I had thought of doing it with a donut. Maybe I'll just get one now, kind of a tribute...

 

Too funny, I think im getting to that point too.....

 

Im not drinking anything right now, but if I was it would be all over my computer screen

 

put a nacho bar on the toilet above and I'm set!

 

Awww,you son of a bitch,,,,,,,,You beat me to it.LOL

 

I think I've actually upped my efficiency at work in an effort to get back here...

 

Shhhhh damnit, just shhhh, ya don't have to tell every employer in the freaking world. I don't want mine here in Kuwait knowing that I spend so much time on the HAMD. Now just keep it low....OK?

 

me too

 

I worked in the office furniture manufacturing industry for years,and those gas cylinders are normally only rated to 200 lbs. They are not HAMBer worthy,we must build lightweight bomber seat office furniture with heavy duty shocks,4-point harness and steel casters. Any photoshoppers out there,that want to make a HAMB approved office chair prototype for the dedicated Unclescooby? here's some ideas for that chair. Better yet let's make them,Ryan you in? LMFAO!!!