An overdose of that kind of medicine is in order. A spin around a huge block for me always seems to set me right,even if it only last 10 minutes.I think you are well on your way to recovery.Everything has a reason for happening and you dont have to figure out way right away.It will make you stronger!!
Use one or both 3 x's a week minimum. Apply this the same way as academia and your job to balance the three. Mind body soul.
Let what troubles you surface and be gone in whatever manner you see fit to let it. Troubled times we all have, yet each one of us has to process it in our own way. Sorry for the loss you have felt and the torture it reaped upon you and your loved ones. At times like these we tend to be alone and see things without color or reason, it's ok it's part of being human. The rough part that is. Look for the bright spots. It'll help you through and don't hide emotion, let it be what it is. Anybody that can't or doesn't understand that really doesn't matter. Glad you found some sunshine in an old Ford today. Many a man has sought redemption and humanity in a throttle pedal, I being one of them. Take Care, Tim
Didn't know you were having troubles Ryan, I never would have bothered you with such a trivial problem if I had known. Sounds like you are heading in the right direction, all the best, D M.
Ryan, I have read a lot of your thoughts on here and am very appreciative of what you assemble for all to read. You got a lot of talent and a lot of smarts so hopefully you can keep up with what you are strong at and not wrapping your ride around a pole or whatever. I understand wanting to be able to fix something, wanting to regain control, but I know from experience that you tempt fate too many times it will catch you and you could end up on the wrong side of that challenge. Take it easy. Whatever is going on, you need to realize your value to- 1st you, 2nd your family and 3rd and lastly your friends (a lot of us on here). Anyways, hope you pull through.
Got no idea whats going on in your life, but I hope it gets better, or failing that, you find a way to cope with the shit life is handing you. Like everyone else in this world, I have fought my dragons, it does get better, but sometimes it gets worse for a while first. Throttle therapy always helps take your mind off it for a while.
Ryan, success and character are determined by how we handle loss and hardship. My sister passed away 11-28-12 after a 10 year battle with Cancer. I pleaded with her for the last couple of years to come live with me so I could take care of her. She finally agreed and came to live with me and died two weeks later. I know all about guilt. I had a really rough time dealing with the order of the situation, she was a life long biker and the toughest person mentally I have ever known. After a week of wondering a guessing what the hell I did wrong, I got on my Harley and ran the fucking shit out of that bike! I tried to blow it up, wreck it, whatever... sat down and cried harder than I have ever cried in my life... and somehow... things felt better! Everyday gets a little less painful... I can breathe again! Things are going to be ok for you and I both brother. You don't know me but now we know each other... Thanks for all you do, sharing this helps me too!
I haven't any idea of what issues you are facing. I believe you are making a turn for the better. Some how thrashing on something is theraputic. Like you said if you break it you have control of fixing it. You can take some comfort in the community you have created with the forums. Everyone here will provide you support. Let us know if there is any thing we can do for you.
"I was determined to break something. Anything. As if breakage would present a problem that I could actually fix." Reminds me of the NIN/Johnny Cash lyric from Hurt I hurt myself today, To see if I still feel, I focus on the pain, The only thing that's real You needed to feel something different and visceral. Hope it worked! I agree with what others have said...I've never met you and likely never will, but like alot of people on here I would go to bat for you. Try to be glad for the family and friends that you do have! And by all means enjoy that fucking coupe! Prayers go out to you and yours!
it only seems dark because your eyes are unaccustomed .. the light is always there... finding things in the dark takes time ... some light will come ..source to be discovered ... oh ya check the oil .....
It's a mighty long road that doesn't have a bend in it somewhere, Ryan. Just keep the hammer down and drift, and like some of the rest of us, you'll get back on the straightaway again. Best of luck to you.
I feel the guilt every time I go out to the garage and see my coupe, tucked away in the corner, and I hop in the stake truck to go running around. I've gotta juggle things around and get the coupe back out.
Like many others I'm just wishing you the best. Life has put much stess on me as well and I find just talking about it helps. Obviously writing is your one of you strong points so continue to do so, please. My coupe isn't on the road but I can't wait to take some therapeutic drives myself. Take Care, Kevin
Boss, every now and then you got to tie a knot in the end of your rope and swing like Tarzan or just flog your coupe like a Red headed step child . Hang in there Wishing you all the best hoping thinks get better for you.
Boss, I hope it gets better soon. I've seen some dark times that I thought would never pass, But eventually they did, it just takes time. Prayers sent your way.
I hope things get better for you as soon as they possibly can. Thank you for everything you have done for our hobby. Hackman
I'm getting to be an old bastard, not here to make you feel better, but teach you how to be better. Guilt has no place in a young mans life, it comes cause you think you should have done or known more....there isn't more to know. Those who know you truly know you inside out, and would never expect you to feel guilty over them, life is to be lived, they would expect you to live as though today is the most important day there is. In fact, it is the most important day of your life, as one who's seen huge amounts of sadness, I can tell you to get up tomorrow morning, treat those around you as though today may be their last, or your last, because through your life, people come and go, be the best you can be, they'll appreciate you for it. I nearly had my last a year ago, thanks to two great doctors, I'm here still aggravating the shit out of everyone I know, to know me is to love me, there ain't no going back, write a letter to yourself, stuff it away somewhere, read it sometimes, and you'll realise you've become a better person. That, my friend, is the meaning of happiness, be happy, act as though the source of your guilt is watching and make them proud. Get on with it. A fast hot rod does help though, you gotta admit to that.
Sometimes one has to reframe it; sounds like you, with the help of the little coupe, have done a pretty good job of that. Now get up every morning, put one foot in front of the other, crawl up in the coupe and hammer it again! In fact, I'm gonna hammer the red roadster first thing in the morning. Keep slugging buddy!
Ryan, hang in there, buddy. Squeeze the ones you love tight.............it's gonna' get better. Loss is a bitch to get over, but you will. God Bless'. JB
keep your head up, Ryan, life's a damn challenge, but you're not the type to loose .. .. as your healer your coupe would say: "c'mon, let's go uphill!" hope always the best for you. Carsten
Sometimes you don't know how good you have until you make it through a bad spot in life. It takes this kind of bad shit to open your eyes to all the good stuff. Not sure who but one of the guys quotes here reads something like like this,"Your past made you who you are today and what you do today makes you the person you will become." Good luck Bro.
Ryan, not sure what you're facing, but hang in there - you'll get through it. My wife's dad has lived with us for 20 years, & he's dying of cancer. He's gone from a vibrant, active, ornery old coot to not being able to walk 20 feet to take a leak in less than a month - it sucks. I'm sitting here now on the web while I keep an eye on him. Ordinarily I'd hit the highlights of about a dozen different web sites when I'm online, but since he's started going down hill the only place I want to be is on the HAMB. I don't have a hot rod right now for that therapy, but I do have this site & I have you to thank for it. Thanks.
its brave to wear your heart on your sleeve Ryan... It's also very endearing, hope it all comes together for you chap. Pip pip!
for someone who claims that they can't write, you nailed it. no, we don't know each other personally, but you are in my thoughts & prayers, I hope things are on the uptick for you. I haven't driven my own old hotrod in years, but I completely understand your need for release. It's amazing how such things as a row through the gears can provide you with a much needed release. I tend to take my problems out on my poor dirt late model.....I hope things return to normal for you soon k
... and that's what it's all about man. Being able to fix the shit in your life that feels broken. To have control over something that doesn't leave you feeling helpless. Good god. We're all in this for the therapy. I mean, none of us thinks were saving society when we fall in love with the hotrod...
The Jalopy Journal
