The Jalopy Journal
Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by rubberrodder, Sep 24, 2008.
Hey! That's me exactly..lol.
...when looking at old family pictures, the first thing you notice is what kind of car is in the background.
You remember people by what car they drove
You take more pictures of your car than you do of your wife
You get excited when you find out somebody like Bill Hines or Gene Winfield or an Alexander Brother or Norm Grabowski and the list goes on is going to be at a show within a few hundred miles of you
You decorate your garage in a manner so as to compliment your car but could give a rats ass about what curtains your wife wants you to hang
You constantly make up excuses to go where your computer is and check the hamb
If you do remember birthdays or any other event, its only by relating it to a date when you bought a vehicle.
When your car alarm is open headers! (as if anybody could start it anyway).
At first I was excited after reading Tony's post, but there are so many good ones. At least now I can tell my friends who think I have a problem that I'm not the only one.
My anniversary is 3-22, same cubic dispacment as a 56 Buick nailhead. I have yet to forget it.
Your idea of yard work consists of moving car part's to mow the grass that's grown under and around them.
..you shed a tear when you hear about a junk yard closing and crushing thier stock
..you can be completely involved in a conversation, but will go to complete ignore to try and get a glimpse of the good sounding car driving by.
..you don't carry photo's of family in your wallet, but you do have that pic of your first car, or all of them for that matter.
..your idea of a great night is sitting in your garage , drinking a beer and looking at the progress on your car.
..you get all excited to pick up your newly machined mill from the local engine shop...so much so that you call your friends over to check the fresh bore and deck job...
..multi carb intake's give you the chills
I'd say your far from the only one for sure!!
The worst part of it is, for me anyway, the stuff i've written is more truth than busting balls
And i know for a fact that i don't stand alone with any of it...and i'm sure there's a hell of a lot more people do like this stuff.
You wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom.
You know about how many meals of RAMEN noodles you're gonna have to eat, before you can buy the next part you need for your project.
I've been putting off a double knee replacements so I can finish a few projects. And even though I know I will be out for awhile, I'm still hording parts for future projects. My wife gets ill with me for buying things I won't be using for another 1-2-3-4-5-6--------10 years.
Hey, quit looking in my shop window!
You have 3 spackle buckets FULL of UNSORTED hardware and have to dump them onto an old car mat to rummage through them to find what you want. Of course what you want is always in the 3rd bucket.
You've fallen asleep under a car while working on it and have waken up to find one or more cats curled up of top of you sleeping.
You only remember people by the car they drive.
--You remember uncle Jack?
--He had that brown 38 Chevy pick up with the 427.
--Oh yah that guy...what about him?
--To bad,.........Whatever happened to that truck?
you spend more time during your work day scouring over the HAMB, ebay and craigslist than you actually do working
Guilty as charged!
All you PIN #'s for credit/debit cards are variations of engine displacements......
You speak to the real estate agent, and tell her that your requirements are a big shop with at least 200 amp service, but preferably 3 phase 575v, parking for at least 4 cars in the shop, 4 cars outside, with heat, water, and a 8" thick slab.
Oh yeah, and some sorta house in front....
you see engine cubes in phone numbers and address.
your hands are permanently stained from car work.
you know your going to bleed when you grab your tool box and walk to your car to work on and you smile.
you put a wrench or a socket on a bolt and you know your going to smack your hand on the sharp part right in front of it and yet you go at it anyways.
you rebuild carbs while watching tv and sitting on your Lay-z-boy
you have greese and oil stains on all your car show shirts and wear em with pride.
You know ridiculous trivialities such as the neon lights on Flo's V8 Cafe in the movie "Cars" flash in the proper firing order for a Ford flathead V8.
I told my wife if I buy another place it will be a shop with a house beside it.
You don't worry about your truck being stolen because no one can figure how to get the suicide doors open, few people are thin enough to climb through the window openings and it is a two handed operation to start it.
You stop and pick up a piece of metal (or anything else) off the side of the road (fell off someone's truck) because you might be able to use it on a project.
Racing home and jump in the truck and race back to where a car part is laying beside the road after it fell off someone's truck or trailer that was going down the road. I actually picked up a 29 A cowl that way a few months ago.
I'm guilty of most of the things others have posted.
And I do keep a Costco sized pump jug of GoJo nest to the kitchen sink.
more vehicles than license plates
you have to move cars around in your driveway to leave for work
your garbage man gets confused
your insurance company hangs up on you
you like fred sanford's house
You don't wash the grease/dirt from your hands before eating......
How about this...........you'd spend a day crawling through briars,smart weed and poison ivy at a "new" salvage yard looking for some vintage tin treasure. Twist your ankle, skin your knuckles, gash your leg on some crusty,rusty somethin'....find something useful and be HAPPY as hell, BUT your wife/girlfriend can't (I mean can't) drag your ass to an air-conditioned mall for an hour of shopping!! Been there...done...........
Re: you might be a hotrodder if...
...you love Charles Nelson Reilly.
Subject: Ten Ways to tell if your Kustom is low enough
1. You brush a curb and put a dent in your side view mirror.
2. You never get a ticket cause your car goes under the police radar.
3. You use the whitewall cleaner function at the car wash to do your
4. If your drive wheel falls in a pot hole, you aint going nowhere.
5. You have to eat inside fast food restaurants because the folks at
the drive through cant bend down that far. ((That is funny because I used to get the largest drink at drive-thru's and have to open the door to get it from the employee because it wouldn't fit in through my window.))
6. You cant remember when the last time you saw a whole traffic light
7. Plowing the driveway in the winter means taking the car to the road
8. The line in the middle of the road doubles as a speed bump.
9. You tend to trip over it on the way to the garage.
10. Double parking means under the other car not beside it.
You keep your free Car Craft hat on top of your dresser to only be worn on "special occasions"
Unfinished cars are way cooler than completed -totally done -would'nt change a thing ever. Cars...
You have sets of wheels and tires /wheel covers to quickly swap on your car ..... like a woman has many shoes to go with a "outfit" depending on her mood or the occaision or weather. day / eve , style or distance
You can see the road going by THROUGH your floor board of your daily driver.
You smell like exhaust every time you drive your car
You know every car more than 30 years old within 150 miles of your house
You never instal a radio in anything you drive because you'd rather listen to the engine
You find yourself looking at the parts on other makes of cars to figure out how they will fit on yours.
Your mig welder feels like a trusted friend
You drive by garage sales but only stop if you see car parts
You've asked more than one stranger if they might have any old cars or parts
You've bought a single part that has inspired you to build a whole car around it
I didn't notice that in the theater, but I noticed it when I rented it! LOL
You seem to 'breed' half inch sockets, yet still can't find one when you need it so you use a 13 instead
You know the "close enough" metric conversions for all your SAE wrenches.
You know that gasoline is the only substance known to man that will cover up the smell of "exotic dancer" on your shirt
You've spent more hours staring at your project than actually working on it.
You can't remember your mom's phone number, but NAPA is stored in your top five contacts on your cell phone
You know where items are in a parts store that the parts guy didn't even know they carried.
You can spot "Fauxmobile" covers from 70 yards away
You bitch because a movie is set in 1964 and you see a '66 Impala drive past the camera
The height of Milner's grille shell in relation to his firewall bugs you half to death.
You don't have to ask who Milner is
Separate names with a comma.