Folks Of Interest World's greatest Welder

Speaks out...Safety advice? History? Absolute Crap?
Anyway, I discovered this Craig's list ad via Garage Journal, so IT MUST BE TRUE!
https://tulsa.craigslist.org/tls/5446444503.html

"Well let me just tell YOU something, kid, I was the best welder the world has ever seen! I didn't just weld in garages and bathrooms like most of the hacks, no sir. I was earning my living welding under water, outer space, on airplanes, at Bar Mitzfahs, inside volcanos, during freefall, and that was just that one time. When a world leader, space program or obtusely bored billionaire needed what they thought was an impossible weld job done, they knew the one person they could turn to... Me. I got so good, my body even adapted to the radiation and I could weld in complete nudity... Or so I thought... Turns out that's not how adaptation works. Now, completely blind as my eyeballs have disintegrated, I live inside of a sterile plastic room because I no longer possess skin, the body's largest organ. Like bubble boy. So, needless to say, I'm selling all of my welding supplies and this smooth arcing welders would be perfect for your garage or bathroom."

So there it is! Everything you need to know about welding laid right out there!

 

So..... did you buy all 3 of them?

 

I didn't need them...a single Harbor Freight arc welder with its stinger dangling above a 700 pound anvil provides sufficient illumination for my entire house!

 

Wow, that guy is just a few miles from me. I best hurry right over before he sells all that great stuff

 

That's way better than his previous ad...

"for sale, 3 stolen welders. Buyer's choice!"

 

This is more fun than my street flooding this morning, and I'd like to claim the title, The world's crappiest welder, although I've been told I could be good with a little practice.
I think I'd rather keep my skin, and live in my home, and not a bubble.
So.... anybody want to buy a cheap welder?

 

Had a welder that worked for me that said he was so good he could weld up cracks in the sidewalks.
Last I heard he was in Tulsa

 

I knew a guy that said he could weld air to rust!

 

My uncle was a damned good welder...or so he said.

Only thing I ever saw him weld was his ass to a bar stool!

 

I wonder if he could weld a 3" long bead on my wife. Ever since the 2 kids it just hasn't been the same.

 

at least now we know what happened to #1 - wonder who is #2

 

Crapola.

 

To shim a pussy, you shove in a ham and pull out the bone. No welding needed.

 

The machine is the welder.
The person doing the welding is a weldor.

 

i think this is him.

 

^^^Safety first!

 

I'm not bragging but I can weld up the crack of dawn.

 

My dad owned a welding business which automatically makes me the best weldOR. At least that's what I thought until I read Bruce welded inside a volcano! Shazam! Now, that's a weldor!

 

Better hope your wife doesn't see this thread. If she does you won't ever need the 3" weld.

 

The welder is the machine that the weldor uses to join metals. Yes I know that the spelling police are not so popular but I gotta try to edumacate some of ems! I'm sorry as I cant hep it.

 

Works for me, I like being educated.

 

Man I almost pissed my self. That was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. It would be something if the sparks melted the bag to his face. Me and my buddies laugh about people in other countries using card board for welding mask. This kid is in USA.

 

If Paintman27's old lady is named Dawn, you've got a customer!

 

"Portrait of the Author as a Young Man"

 

I am doing a deal to buy a bunch of metal shaping tools from a guy that has been a panel beater/metal shaper/restoration guy since the early sixties, and is retiring from running a full-time restoration shop due to age and health. Bunch of really neat stuff, home-made bead rollers and stuff like that, part of the deal is he will have access to the stuff after he sells it to me, and in return, he is going to hand down some of his knowledge, and take me from amateurish hack status to master of the black arts.
So anyway, we are over at his shop, talking and looking at tools, and BSing about stuff, and basically inventorying everything, and he says "well, theres also a welding helmet around here somewhere, I think its in the bathroom. I never use it, I have claustrophobia." I do a double-take, and look at him and say "Whaaaat??" He looks straight at me and says "no really, I have claustrophobia, cant stand to wear one"
Now keep in mind, I have seen this guys welding and its mind-blowing. One of the things he showed me was a hand-made replacement egg-crate grill insert for '67 Tiger Mk II's that he made by putting hand-made pieces in a jig and welding them together, he was producing these for the Tiger restoration market for a while, grand a pop.
So I ask him, "How the hell do you weld without a mask??" He says "Oh, I just line it up, close my eyes and look away, and weld short beads. but sometimes the skin on my nose sloughs off"
I'm still not completely sure if he was putting me on, but there was a mid fifties f100 cab in the shop with cab corners freshly welded in, and the welding mask in the shitter had a heavy coat of dust on it, so...
Pretty soon, I'm gonna ask for a demonstration.

 

Ummm....... ever since nine-teen-whatever-the-fuck, both spellings are tolerated to describe the profession.

As for the ad, I freakin' love it. That's a funny, effective, memorable 2 minute commercial for his wares. Can't beat it.

 

i have never liked the spelling with an O. i don't think i have ever spelled it that way.

 

I have several text books on Welding and they spell it, WELDER. Both the machine AND the person who does the craft.

 

I understand the claustrophobia thing. I was selling circle track parts when full face crash helmets became available and when some old timer who had always worn an open face helmet would try one on for the first time the results were sometimes hilarious.

The guy would put one on and you could see the eyes tracing the perimeter of the face opening and if he was prone to being claustrophobic he would practically tear the thing off. We had several guys almost break their nose trying to get the helmet off in their panic.

 

George, I think the first thing you should make for the guy is replacement nose, like in the movie Cat Ballou.