Register now to get rid of these ads!

Folks Of Interest World's greatest Welder

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Bruce Lancaster, Mar 23, 2016.

  1. Bruce Lancaster
    Joined: Oct 9, 2001
    Posts: 21,683

    Bruce Lancaster
    Member Emeritus

    Speaks out...Safety advice? History? Absolute Crap?
    Anyway, I discovered this Craig's list ad via Garage Journal, so IT MUST BE TRUE!
    https://tulsa.craigslist.org/tls/5446444503.html

    "Well let me just tell YOU something, kid, I was the best welder the world has ever seen! I didn't just weld in garages and bathrooms like most of the hacks, no sir. I was earning my living welding under water, outer space, on airplanes, at Bar Mitzfahs, inside volcanos, during freefall, and that was just that one time. When a world leader, space program or obtusely bored billionaire needed what they thought was an impossible weld job done, they knew the one person they could turn to... Me. I got so good, my body even adapted to the radiation and I could weld in complete nudity... Or so I thought... Turns out that's not how adaptation works. Now, completely blind as my eyeballs have disintegrated, I live inside of a sterile plastic room because I no longer possess skin, the body's largest organ. Like bubble boy. So, needless to say, I'm selling all of my welding supplies and this smooth arcing welders would be perfect for your garage or bathroom."

    So there it is! Everything you need to know about welding laid right out there!
     
    LostBoy, luima98, Movinman and 4 others like this.
  2. BJR
    Joined: Mar 11, 2005
    Posts: 5,817

    BJR
    Member

    So..... did you buy all 3 of them?
     
  3. Bruce Lancaster
    Joined: Oct 9, 2001
    Posts: 21,683

    Bruce Lancaster
    Member Emeritus

    I didn't need them...a single Harbor Freight arc welder with its stinger dangling above a 700 pound anvil provides sufficient illumination for my entire house!
     
  4. 3quarter32
    Joined: Dec 10, 2010
    Posts: 289

    3quarter32
    Member

    Wow, that guy is just a few miles from me. I best hurry right over before he sells all that great stuff
     
    Register now to get rid of these ads!

  5. Nostrebor
    Joined: Jun 25, 2014
    Posts: 739

    Nostrebor
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    That's way better than his previous ad...

    "for sale, 3 stolen welders. Buyer's choice!"
     
    Montana1 and winduptoy like this.
  6. This is more fun than my street flooding this morning, and I'd like to claim the title, The world's crappiest welder, although I've been told I could be good with a little practice.
    I think I'd rather keep my skin, and live in my home, and not a bubble.
    So.... anybody want to buy a cheap welder?
     
    clem, Kroombit and 37hotrod like this.
  7. winduptoy
    Joined: Feb 19, 2013
    Posts: 1,568

    winduptoy
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    Had a welder that worked for me that said he was so good he could weld up cracks in the sidewalks.
    Last I heard he was in Tulsa
     
  8. tubman
    Joined: May 16, 2007
    Posts: 4,372

    tubman
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    I knew a guy that said he could weld air to rust!
     
    kiwijeff likes this.
  9. Atwater Mike
    Joined: May 31, 2002
    Posts: 9,776

    Atwater Mike
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    My uncle was a damned good welder...or so he said.

    Only thing I ever saw him weld was his ass to a bar stool! :D
     
  10. paintman27
    Joined: Apr 23, 2011
    Posts: 281

    paintman27
    Member
    from new jersey

    I wonder if he could weld a 3" long bead on my wife. Ever since the 2 kids it just hasn't been the same.
     
  11. Jalopy Joker
    Joined: Sep 3, 2006
    Posts: 23,257

    Jalopy Joker
    Member

    at least now we know what happened to #1 - wonder who is #2
     
    clem likes this.
  12. J. A. Miller
    Joined: Dec 30, 2010
    Posts: 1,208

    J. A. Miller
    ALLIANCE MEMBER
    from Central NY

    To shim a pussy, you shove in a ham and pull out the bone. No welding needed.
     
  13. eaglebeak
    Joined: Sep 17, 2007
    Posts: 1,072

    eaglebeak
    Member

    The machine is the welder.
    The person doing the welding is a weldor.
     
  14. tb33anda3rd
    Joined: Oct 8, 2010
    Posts: 15,104

    tb33anda3rd
    ALLIANCE MEMBER
    1. Connecticut HAMB'ers

  15. flyboy89
    Joined: Oct 6, 2010
    Posts: 386

    flyboy89
    Member
    from So. Cal.

    ^^^Safety first!
     
    volvobrynk likes this.
  16. statesblue
    Joined: Mar 5, 2008
    Posts: 237

    statesblue
    Member
    from Luzerne Pa

    I'm not bragging but I can weld up the crack of dawn.
     
    oldcarguygazok likes this.
  17. My dad owned a welding business which automatically makes me the best weldOR. At least that's what I thought until I read Bruce welded inside a volcano! Shazam! Now, that's a weldor!
     
    volvobrynk and 270dodge like this.
  18. BJR
    Joined: Mar 11, 2005
    Posts: 5,817

    BJR
    Member

    Better hope your wife doesn't see this thread. If she does you won't ever need the 3" weld.
     
  19. 270dodge
    Joined: Feb 11, 2012
    Posts: 640

    270dodge
    Member
    from Ohio

    The welder is the machine that the weldor uses to join metals. Yes I know that the spelling police are not so popular but I gotta try to edumacate some of ems! I'm sorry as I cant hep it.
     
  20. Works for me, I like being educated. :)
     
    Texas57 and 270dodge like this.
  21. Man I almost pissed my self. That was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. It would be something if the sparks melted the bag to his face. Me and my buddies laugh about people in other countries using card board for welding mask. This kid is in USA.
     
    tb33anda3rd likes this.
  22. treb11
    Joined: Jan 21, 2006
    Posts: 3,234

    treb11
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    If Paintman27's old lady is named Dawn, you've got a customer!
     
    Texas57, bengeltiger and kiwijeff like this.
  23. falcongeorge
    Joined: Aug 26, 2010
    Posts: 18,341

    falcongeorge
    Member
    from BC

    "Portrait of the Author as a Young Man"
     
    tb33anda3rd likes this.
  24. falcongeorge
    Joined: Aug 26, 2010
    Posts: 18,341

    falcongeorge
    Member
    from BC

    I am doing a deal to buy a bunch of metal shaping tools from a guy that has been a panel beater/metal shaper/restoration guy since the early sixties, and is retiring from running a full-time restoration shop due to age and health. Bunch of really neat stuff, home-made bead rollers and stuff like that, part of the deal is he will have access to the stuff after he sells it to me, and in return, he is going to hand down some of his knowledge, and take me from amateurish hack status to master of the black arts.:D
    So anyway, we are over at his shop, talking and looking at tools, and BSing about stuff, and basically inventorying everything, and he says "well, theres also a welding helmet around here somewhere, I think its in the bathroom. I never use it, I have claustrophobia." I do a double-take, and look at him and say "Whaaaat??" He looks straight at me and says "no really, I have claustrophobia, cant stand to wear one"
    Now keep in mind, I have seen this guys welding and its mind-blowing. One of the things he showed me was a hand-made replacement egg-crate grill insert for '67 Tiger Mk II's that he made by putting hand-made pieces in a jig and welding them together, he was producing these for the Tiger restoration market for a while, grand a pop.
    So I ask him, "How the hell do you weld without a mask??" He says "Oh, I just line it up, close my eyes and look away, and weld short beads. but sometimes the skin on my nose sloughs off"
    I'm still not completely sure if he was putting me on, but there was a mid fifties f100 cab in the shop with cab corners freshly welded in, and the welding mask in the shitter had a heavy coat of dust on it, so...:confused::D
    Pretty soon, I'm gonna ask for a demonstration.
     
    clem, Jet96 and flux capacitor like this.
  25. tfeverfred
    Joined: Nov 11, 2006
    Posts: 15,796

    tfeverfred
    Member

    Ummm....... ever since nine-teen-whatever-the-fuck, both spellings are tolerated to describe the profession.

    As for the ad, I freakin' love it. That's a funny, effective, memorable 2 minute commercial for his wares. Can't beat it.
     
  26. tb33anda3rd
    Joined: Oct 8, 2010
    Posts: 15,104

    tb33anda3rd
    ALLIANCE MEMBER
    1. Connecticut HAMB'ers

    i have never liked the spelling with an O. i don't think i have ever spelled it that way.
     
  27. tfeverfred
    Joined: Nov 11, 2006
    Posts: 15,796

    tfeverfred
    Member

    I have several text books on Welding and they spell it, WELDER. Both the machine AND the person who does the craft.
     
    Saxman, kelzweld and tb33anda3rd like this.
  28. Speedwrench
    Joined: Nov 21, 2009
    Posts: 1,003

    Speedwrench
    Member

    I understand the claustrophobia thing. I was selling circle track parts when full face crash helmets became available and when some old timer who had always worn an open face helmet would try one on for the first time the results were sometimes hilarious.

    The guy would put one on and you could see the eyes tracing the perimeter of the face opening and if he was prone to being claustrophobic he would practically tear the thing off. We had several guys almost break their nose trying to get the helmet off in their panic.
     
  29. belair
    Joined: Jul 10, 2006
    Posts: 8,095

    belair
    Member

    George, I think the first thing you should make for the guy is replacement nose, like in the movie Cat Ballou.
     
    falcongeorge likes this.

Share This Page

Register now to get rid of these ads!

Archive

Copyright © 1995-2020 The Jalopy Journal: Steal our stuff, we'll kick your teeth in. Terms of Service. Privacy Policy.

Atomic Industry
Forum software by XenForo™ ©2010-2014 XenForo Ltd.