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who has a secret "fund" ?

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by shooter54, Apr 29, 2010.

  1. Leevon
    Joined: Oct 5, 2009
    Posts: 400

    Leevon
    Member
    from Nixa, MO

    I keep a couple benjamins in my tool box for that "can't pass up" deal. The way we manage our fun money is by using spending cards in separate accounts. They are debit cards but you preload them. So you just move money from the main account to the cards as it becomes available each month and voila! No arguing. If you don't have it you don't spend it. If you want it you save for it.

    Admittedly, I get more $$$ than my wife but our hobby is not cheap. I also woke up and realized after 5 years of marriage and her handling the money that I would never have any extra so I took charge. She appreciates not having to mess with bills and I appreciate having a little lattitude.
     
  2. krylon32
    Joined: Jan 29, 2006
    Posts: 6,950

    krylon32
    Alliance Vendor
    from Nebraska

    I don't have a secret stash because it's so dam hard to get any large amounts of cash today. I do run a seperate builder account so my personal projects don't get into the business.
     
  3. 1oldtimer
    Joined: Aug 21, 2003
    Posts: 7,751

    1oldtimer
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    we both work (girlfriend of 21 years) and no kids. everything about the house get split 50/50 and then her money is hers and mine is mine. never let someone else handle your money, never marry someone who's "bad" with money, never hide anything from your wife.....then life will be golden :).
     
  4. kustom66cat
    Joined: Aug 11, 2007
    Posts: 157

    kustom66cat
    Member

    You tell them you traded a kanuter valve and a muffler bearing for it
     
  5. No need to hide, my wife supports the hobby.
     
  6. hotrd32
    Joined: May 16, 2007
    Posts: 3,508

    hotrd32
    Member
    from WA

    "Secret" stashes will lead to "open" marriages as in "open court".....our marriage is 50/50 and she has always supported my interests as I do hers.....I have no reason to lie to or hide anything from wife....
     
  7. Bigcheese327
    Joined: Sep 16, 2001
    Posts: 6,691

    Bigcheese327
    Member

    I am with you on this. That “better to ask forgiveness than permission” business is written by a divorced guy, I practically guarantee it.

    If I need/want a part, I go and explain what it is, why I want it, and how I feel we can afford it. I usually get it.

    If I were to buy something without announcing it beforehand, and it was at all visible in the final build, I would have to sell that car upon completion, as I would never be allowed to forget that I lied to get it.

    I’d rather live without a few parts than poison my wife’s trust. But then, I’ve noticed I’m one of the few guys I know who doesn’t view his wife as a rival or enemy. Why the hell did you guys get married??

    -Dave
     
  8. sledish
    Joined: Jul 30, 2006
    Posts: 804

    sledish
    Member

    I buy what I want, My wife buys what she wants. The thing is we both know not to go over board. If it's a big dollar item, we tell each other. You gotta be honest or it will bite you in the ass down the road.
     
  9. Just don't stash it all in one place. just in case it gets found
     
  10. Firefly
    Joined: Sep 15, 2005
    Posts: 377

    Firefly
    Member

    Neither me, nor my HUSBAND got a cash stash .... don't need to, we both spend on our rides when needed, but hey, thanks for the heads up!!
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2010
  11. 57FORD
    Joined: Mar 8, 2010
    Posts: 97

    57FORD
    Member

    +1 :)
     
  12. 57FORD
    Joined: Mar 8, 2010
    Posts: 97

    57FORD
    Member

    plus if you have to hide things from her like that then shes not the one for you. lol
     
  13. Ebert
    Joined: Feb 13, 2006
    Posts: 1,915

    Ebert
    Member

    You are a GOOD man...not many would do things this way and you should be proud of doing the RIGHT thing. You must have had GREAT parents!

    I tried doing something like this once....I was DEAD broke, putting myself through law school working three jobs..loading trucks, detailing cars, sealing driveways, etc jut to GET BY. Well, I was on my way to the courthouse in my law clerk job and I stumbled upon 6 100$ bills (like a million bucks to me!) on the sidewalk which was right in front of a flower shop. So, I go in the flower shop to see if anyone had lost "anything" and the answer was "no." So, I called the police from their phone and since I was in downtown Indy near the courthouse, they showed up ASAP. I handed over the cash and they told me that if I gave them the cash and no one claimed it within 30 days, that it was mine. So on the 31st day, I called the number that they gave me and was informed that the cash was "sent" to the police "benevolent" fund and I cannot get it back. I must admit, I have all of the respect in the world for the job that cops do, but I did not appreciate the $600 haircut when I was being so upfront. Would I do the same thing again? Yep! I have four sons and I would want them to trust the system.

    Your story gives me confidence that there ARE trustworthy folks out there!

    Thanks!
    E

     
  14. Ebert
    Joined: Feb 13, 2006
    Posts: 1,915

    Ebert
    Member

    Times 100! I was lucky that my Dad (huge hot rod guy!) had gone through this with Mom, so his advice was simple...be upfront, be honest, bust your ass, priortize your wife and kids and have fun with cars.

    Also, I have stressed to my wife that I can live in a trailer "down by the river," so if I get any shit about my cars, they will be sold, she can fend for herself and I will take care of the kids....her choice. Sorry to offend anyone on here, but it works. I love her a ton, but I cannot take nagging.

     
  15. blinddaddykarno
    Joined: Feb 5, 2008
    Posts: 121

    blinddaddykarno
    Member

    I've been saving up for a TIG for about a year, have $200 rolled up in my wedding ring (can't wear it at work) in a litlle wooden box on my bedside table, another $1250 stashed in another location. I have a jar in the bathroom that I put my change in every day, a "swear jar" in the kitchen that gets a quarter every time I lose control. Birthday money, unexpected windfalls, and about $10 to $20 a week go into the stash.

    Brian
     
  16. blinddaddykarno
    Joined: Feb 5, 2008
    Posts: 121

    blinddaddykarno
    Member

    Amen to that! My wife and I have a lot of "issues", but I try to make sure that the last thing I say to her when I leave the house is a simple "I love you". Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us. As much as I love old cars, I love her more, even after 20 years together.

    Brian
     
  17. Lotek_Racing
    Joined: Sep 6, 2006
    Posts: 690

    Lotek_Racing
    Member

    Besides, if you hide stuff from your wife, don't be shocked when you find out she's been hiding stuff with the mailman.

    Shawn
     
  18. indyjps
    Joined: Feb 21, 2007
    Posts: 4,037

    indyjps
    Member

    I just tell her that Im thinking of buying some parts.
    Most of the stuff I buy is used / traded anyways so I tell her what they cost new. seems to work out. I really have no other hobbies.
    I put it in these terms one day. I dont go out to bars for hours on end, I dont gamble, I dont fucking golf, I dont watch sports on TV for an entire Sunday. I work in the garage or on the house / cars. I tell her I want to buy something and she sees how much time I spend looking for a good deal or the best price.
    I make good $ and came into the marriage with a savings account of my own funds.

    I havent gotten to paint and body yet so that discussion may be a big one.
     
  19. I have no idea what your talking about....
     
  20. Without a doubt, I always have had a slush fund for hot rods. I learned at the tender age of 8 from my good old neighbor mentor that you should always have a separate stash from the old lady. Thanks John, I hope you are smiling down on me from heaven.
     
  21. FIL
    Joined: Aug 6, 2008
    Posts: 133

    FIL
    Member

    mine knows all about my slush fund... the same fund has to cover both camera gear and car parts, and she gets the handed down camera gear and gets to enjoy the cars too... it's spread a little thinner than normal this year as it's also the 'get the 2 of us to the states for a few weeks' fund... :)
     
  22. Fish Tank
    Joined: May 22, 2008
    Posts: 550

    Fish Tank

    I always stash away a few bucks cuz ya never know when you're gonna have to be the Knight In Shining Armor to save the day if there's an emergency, and if not, then ya got play money. It's got nothing to do with my wife, she's bad ass, but it has everything to do with my paranoia of the unforeseen future.

    BUT, the biggest secret I will have from the wife will be an account at Edward Jones. Starting it with $1000 in about two weeks (gotta wait one more payday).
    I figure, either it will come in handy if there's a really big issue in a few years, or it will just add more fun to our retirement.
    Either way, you come out smelling like a rose...lol

    ~Jef
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2010
  23. Super04duty
    Joined: Mar 11, 2010
    Posts: 58

    Super04duty
    Member

    Granted, Im not married yet. (will be in Oct.), but we have lived together for 3 years and been together for 4. I sometimes have to wait to buy parts, but I always get to. Shes cut back on our budget for food to make sure I had enough for parts at times.

    And the best part, is shes into it too. Our wedding is going to be 'pin-up' themed, and I pretty much have a green light to spend as much as I need to get my Dodge up and running, so we have, as she called it, 'a cool vehicle to take wedding pictures with'
     
  24. slash46
    Joined: Jun 18, 2009
    Posts: 22

    slash46
    Member

    I've always saved my change and cash it in about once a year. Believe it or not, that usually ends up coming to about $400 for projects.

    I have always in the past put $10-20 a week aside, and use it for projects and parts as needed. I also keep the money I do for side jobs and put it aside for future needs/wants. However, if my wife needs money, I gladly make sure she is always covered.

    I am out of work at the moment, so that little fund I had stashed away will be going towards items for the kids, food and bills if I don't get a gig soon.
     
  25. 4 pedals
    Joined: Oct 8, 2009
    Posts: 750

    4 pedals
    Member
    from Nor Cal

    My first wife was a spender. I couldn't keep a dime wth her knowledge or she'd spend a dollar. Credit cards were terrible. That ended.

    Tried it again. Still keep car money seperate from house money. Not a secret at all. She knows where to find it and usually how much is there. It does not come from my income. I don't make enough. Our mortgage is 3/4 of my take home. I now have 4 kids and she stays home to take care of them. Well worth it to me. My car money is generated through selling off old parts, the occasional side job and birthday gifts etc. We live a modest life, but the roof is over our heads, food on the table and clothes on our backs. We keep an emergency fund because shit happens, as well as seperate money for regular vehicle maint, clothing, vacations, etcetera. The general fund simply pays the bills.

    I guess I'm approaching middle age, we are conservative in our finances and rarely get caught short. I've never needed to get into my car money to pay the mortgage or a credit card (don't have any) or anything else.

    Devin
     
  26. HotRod33
    Joined: Oct 5, 2008
    Posts: 2,386

    HotRod33
    Member

    I have been married 33 years and I used to let the wife be in charge of the checking account and pay all the bills and we were always broke..... about 12 years ago I opened a different bank account and divided up the bills.... I have saved alot of money since then and she learned how to manage hers..... She has bought and payed for the last two cars that she wanted, bought Mustang GT convert's and she pays her own insurance plus her share of the bills.... I pay my portion of the household bills and put some in my hotrod fund... if I want some parts or another hotrod when I can afford it I get it and I pay cash, I have one credit card that I use if I buy something online and I pay it off when the bill comes. We don't live beyond our means, we watch the dollars ...... No secret fund or stash, her name is on the account and she see's the bank statement's on my desk......
     
  27. Yeah, sack up and tell the truth. If you're the man of the house she ain't gonna have shit to say. Lying is lying, what if coffee with her girlfriend was really coffee with that "new guy" at the office......You'd be bummed.
     
  28. 50flathead
    Joined: Mar 8, 2005
    Posts: 1,104

    50flathead
    Member
    from Iowa, USA

    I've tried keeping separate bank accounts over the course of time but the only thing that works is keeping good old fashioned green folding money locked in my safe.
     
  29. slefain
    Joined: Apr 6, 2009
    Posts: 229

    slefain
    Member
    from Atlanta

    Thanks for the reminder! I sold a car a few months ago and just stuck the cash in a drawer. Guess I'm buying a new carb after all!
     
  30. denis4x4
    Joined: Apr 23, 2005
    Posts: 3,641

    denis4x4
    ALLIANCE MEMBER
    from Colorado

    A couple of practical things: Don't take your change to one of those Coin counters as they charge anywhere from eight to ten percent. The bank will give you free coin wrappers. Second, have a a letter listing your "secret" accounts and a power of attorney naming your wife (brother, sister, etc) so that if you suddenly die, the state doesn't get your accounts because nobody knows about them and they are considered abandoned. Give the sealed letter to some one you trust.

    I used to have checking accounts for boats and cars. Closed them as I really didn't want to know how much I was spending! My wife never asks about my cars nor to I question her about the computerized sewing machines!
     

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