Folks Of Interest When the experts chime in.

I had one walk into my garage from across the road whilst my back was turned ,he set about explaining to me that you can now buy these old ford coupes brand new in fibreglass and he couldnt work out why id bother welding ,bashing and grinding,for so long when i could just order a new one,,,
I asked him if i zeroxed a $100 bill would he swap it with me for a real one,,,,,he replied "you must think im a fucking idiot!" I said "YES I do!"

 

I laughed so fuckin hard at this I started to choke! I'm in!! Let's start a new trend! Real hoodlums!


Back on topic, my favorite is the guy with the 410 duration camshaft. He was serious. The look on his face was priceless when I asked him how does it close. Thinking I was stupid, I reminded him that since there's only 360deg in a circle, and crank degree timing went out with babbit bearings...

 

WING-O, BING-O!!!! HAMB Life's mentor's.

 

Me too, Bob. For these identical reasons.

 

When I detailed cars I found that pretty much everybody else had detailed cars too and was better and faster than I was. I was "just a glorified car washer". Twenty years of hearing people spout off about that crap.

 

My shop is my business, that is how i earn a living. My problem is taht i can't tolerate stupid. I just can't deal with it and thats is where i loose tons of business. For example, a guy was in yesterday that has driven me about nuts. I had done some welding on the steering in his truck - you don't even want to know about that part - i asked how his truck was doing. He said he couldn't drive it because he didn't have enough vacuum for the booster - the cam was too big. He said he called the guy (Jegs) that sold him the cam to get advice and that guy convinced him that he needed new lifters and valve springs for another $160! I flipped. The motor is a basic stock 350sbc with a - maybe - .450 lift rv cam! I heard it running and i know what i am listening to! How can somebody - both parties in this case - do shit like that?
Its' like what President Bush once said, 'figure out who the stupid ones are and concentrate on them!'
Anyway, i basically threw my hands up and surrendered. The Jegs' salesguy nailed another one. And, a dumbassed smalltown hick like me can't compete with bullshit like that.

 

I love my Grandpa to death but he is one of those. (And still bustin' his ass every day at 88) Conversation yesterday:

ME: I had to change the oil twice and flush the tranny because they had a bunch of water in 'em.

HIM: Dammit! There ain't no way water could get in there, they have caps on 'em!

It's an every day thing, guess I just don't know shit about oil caps.

 

"Nitrous? Don't you want a hotter plug?"

 

I worked with a guy who was about 30 at the time. In his life time he was in Special Forces, worked in mansonary, auto mechanic and few other skilled trades. In fact he was so good he was made management in every job he held. I once added up all the jobs he held and figure unless he worked 2-3 jobs at a time he had to be at least 75 years old. He might have been lying about his age.

 

Years and yrs ago there was some truth to the battery charging thing. My auto shop teacher showed us a battery connected to a battery charger that would not charge on the cement floor. He'd lift it off the ground and the charge meter would jump. I don't remember the reason though

 

I told my children when they were in school that they should be friendly to everyone, but not friends with everyone. If you hang out with people like that just to have a drinking buddy you really have no cause to complain.
Only you can choose your friends, pick them wisely!

 

My workbench has a mirror on the wall. It's not there to look at my pretty face, it's there as a rearview mirror so I don't have to turn around to see if someone is coming. If it's a chatty neighbor, I grab the loudest tool (usually my sidegrinder) and start grinding at something. "WHAT DID YOU SAY? SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU! OK, SEE YOU NEXT TIME!"

 

You guys should do retail sales for awhile, and listen to the "expert" customers.

Will Rogers once said (and someone may have said it before Mr. Rogers):

"It ain't what you don't know that hurts you, its what you know that ain't so!".

Jon.

 

carbking You hit that nail RIGHT on the head. I work for a LARGE offroad supply shop, Yea I know off topic but I gotta pay the bills. I was just on the phone with guy who swears that his buddy has installed a body lift on his XJ. Damn problem is XJ's are unit bodied!! Every day I get the call " I git a stock Jeep, and I wanna put big mud tires on it, I need 3" lift shocks that will make them fit!" Yep those shocks are going to strech your springs and make them fit. Or I get his slightly smarter brother, I need 3" lift springs, but I'm using my stock shocks, They are brand new and I aint buying nothing I dont need. Keith

 

I love it when guys like that try to bullshit me. I now know never to trust him for anything he ever tells me again. I just ignore him and just nod my head until he gets tired of the icy situation and goes away on his own. Once a bullshitter identifies himself I won't have to waste time being nice to him. I think you can get my drift for bullshitters...I detest them.

 

That's nothin, i knew a guy with a smog motored 70s firebird who swore it'd run 200+ stone stock....

 

"You should have that mole looked at." lol

 

now THAT would make a great signature line!

 

I've met guys like that at Woodstock and Astronaut school.

 

We used to do the Iola, Wisconsin swap meet each year. Was our favorite meet (although Hershey was more profitable).

One year, a very well known individual in the car hobby came to our booth, and wanted to know if we sold repair kits for Stromberg 97's. I said yes. He asks if I have 6 in stock (he also let me and the surrounding 15 or 20 individuals know he was putting together a vintage racer with 6 97's). I pulled them out (we package kits in see through plastic so the parts may be seen). He asks what is that brass piece with the threads and states he has rebuilt 100's of 97's and this piece is not a Stromberg piece. I told him this was the power valve, also known in some circles as an economiser valve. He then informed me and most individuals within a 100 foot radius that the Stromberg 97 did not have such a part, and that was why my parts were too expensive - wrong parts.

At this point I simply gave up and walked away. One cannot argue, or even discuss, with a self-annointed expert.

Jon.

 

ahhh, know it all shop/garage rats.... I have one neighbor who really gets under my skin. I started working with the door shut 24/7 unless it gets too smoky. He still came and banging on the garage door. "Why do you think the fucking door is shut????" I yelled back. I haven't seen that guy since...

 

I like the one's that do a great job with there mouth but when you ask to see what they have built they have nothing to show.

 

My stepdad is a general idiot and is very good at regurgitating nonesense advice from other idiots without thinking about if it makes any sense.
1. He refused to ever drive his Izuzu Trooper on the grass, because grass is "hard on the wheels".
2. He always shifted gears at like 1700 rpms (izuzu again), b/c any higher is "hard on the engine". But somehow bogging it around at 800 rpm with foot to the floor was ok.
3. He insisted on inflating the tires on the riding lawnmower to 32 psi "just like a car". I told him several times that he needs 1/3 that much air in there unless he wants break his ass every time he hits a bump. I eventually gave up and had a good time watching him crash around the yard on rock-hard tires.

 

Well-known does not necessarily mean knowledgeable, as you found out! Lots of famous dummies out there!

 

Lol! I have that rearview mirror at my workbench too!
Got retired guys living on both sides of me, and it helps to see them before they get too far into the garage.

One has repeatedly told me over and over for 20 odd years about a friend of his that died when he wrecked a '62 Studebaker Hawk. That's the extent of his old car talk.
The other tells me that a "Feller can't get nothin done cause it's always sumptin."
Yeah, like now with you bending my ear.

 

My favorite was the hard core, biker mechanic who told me he hopped up his Harley 74 by installing Harley 80 connecting rods to lengthen the stroke. But it made the motor too powerful so he took them out.

(If you missed that day at Harley school... 74 and 80 rods are identical. Rod length has nothing to do with stroking a motor... but you can stroke a 74 by installing 80 flywheels).

He was one of the smart ones. Years ago when I hung out with some bikers, I was amazed at how little they knew about Harleys, motors, or anything else. I thought they would at least pick up a little knowledge about Harleys since that is what they spent all their time on , but no.

Another interesting experience was getting turned down for a mechanic's job, that was given to a former coworker. He phoned me every day, at least once, usually 2 or 3 times, to ask me how to do whatever job he was working on. This was not that unusual, I have often been turned down for jobs in favor of people who did not know what the hell they were doing. If I ever figure this out I will let you know, in the meantime when you see someone who does not know what the hell they are doing, you might reflect that the boss probably turned away better men to hire him.

Incidentally leaving a battery on a cement floor will kill it stone dead. It takes about 3 weeks. I had to prove this to myself because I did not believe it either. It cost me a good battery but now I put a board under them and have not lost a battery since.

 

I do not work with other "car guys" in my shop.

"my buddy has a prelude that can do wheelies. He showed me"

"just turn the welder up as hot a it will go ad really burn that panel in there"

 

I thought I was the only guy like that! HAHA! I can deal with someone who is less than brilliant,it's the fucking liars and the lazy bastards I do NOT have time for! Once they lie to ya, how can ya EVER trust anything they ever say again? I'm right with ya Tommy! AMEN! R~R

 

It took me years to figure out that you have to shut down a bullshitter right away. If you humor them at all they will be back at every opportunity to bullshit you some more, and you'll never be rid of them (and the stories just get bigger and more strange). Why do some people think they have to lie like that? If you don't know something, keep your mouth shut. It ain't a sin to not know something, but you sure look like an idiot when...ah hell, I'm preaching to the choir. You guys know what I'm talking about. I can't waste another minute talking about bullshit and bullshitters.

 

BS. Its a myth and does not happen. Either you had a crappy battery, one with a problem or you lost track of time and it discharged over a longer time than you recall. Don't be one of "those" people we're talking about.