Whats the most Stupid thing a Cop has said to you

Long but funny!

Bro in law and I took my Amphicar to a local small lake. We hit the water at about 30+. Toodled off across the lake. About 20 mins later I see a Sheriff then another....2 ambulances...3 state boys, 2 pumper trucks and the Berthoud Dive rescue truck racing towards the boat ramp. I look at my bro inlaw and say
"I think it's us"
"No way!"
"Yup"

So we head over to the ramp and drive out of the water into a crowd of bewildered uniforms in many colors. One dumbass sheriff walk over to my wet car literally dripping on his boots and sternly says
"We had a report of a car driving into the lake"
(insert shocked face here)
Me:"yup"
Again with chest out and attitude "I need your DL, Ins and reg NOW!"
Me: "1st, I have done nothing illegal and out of respect for your position, here they are"

Now he walks away and I get surrounded by the other 1st responders all asking questions at the same time and laughing. I answered a few before being asked to drive out and come back so they could see it in operation. I did so gladly. As officer Stickuphisass returned they parted for him. He walks up and proudly announced my DL had expired "and somebody else will have to drive this rig home"
Me: Well I'm going back on water where I'm legal then" (no license needed in CO for a boat)

I snatched my papers from him and drove back into the lake. We were out there for about another hour. We switched seats and Ted drove home. Sure enough a mile down the road was my newest groupie waiting patiently and I might add, looking rather disappointed too as we drove by.

 

Uh...so it's not ok with you if we speak? "Rubbish...you have no power here. Be gone before somebody drops a house on you, too."

My buddy Randy once told me how one of the local cops in our small town pulled him over because the cop "thought he was gonna speed" after pulling away from a light. Many years later, I pulled away from the light at the main intersection of town, and got pulled over by the same guy. I had no idea why. He explained, "I thought you were gonna speed." BTW...I was driving a slow-assed Pinto...

 

Back in the 60's I used to keep South Bend green. One of the many stupid questions I've heard was "Didn't you see me back there"? after I had just done a burn out from a stop light in my 57 Vette. Being a 19 year old kid with a 270 horse Corvette with dual fours, chrome wheels and a 456 posi didn't endear me much to the locals. Luckily I had a good paying job and an even better lawyer..... Never said I didn't deserve any of the tickets I got, but without a lawyer, I would have lost my license many times over. I really do hate to ride the bus.

 

Before my Mustang became a trailered only drag car it was a dual purpose car that I raced on Sunday and drove to work on Monday. I would come home from the drags, take the M & H's off, cap the headers, and it was ready for another week's driving.

One Sunday it was raining when we got home and I was tired, so I didn't remove the slicks or cap the headers, but I drove it to work Monday anyway. On the way I got pulled over by a local cop and as he was looking over my car noting the obvious violations, his partner said "And just look at how bald those tires are too !! " The first cop looked at him as if it was the dumbest remark he had ever heard and said, " Uh, those are racing slicks." To which the second cop replied "Oh."

I think they were a little embarrassed by that because they let me go with a warning.

Don

 

You're being kinda bung-hole...I mean, gung-ho...aren't you officer?

 

I do not mind being stopped when I do something wrong....However, Got stopped once to be asked " You know your tag expires NEXT month?" I didn't really know how to respond other than "Yes I sent in the renewal, watching the mail daily". The most common thing I am stopped for, above and beyond speeding, etc. is the dim tag light. I take great pains to make sure all my lights work but "dim" tag light? I really don't understand that. peace

 

Oh yes I heard that story, would have loved to been there. You should tell it all.

 

Burbank, CA 1979. I worked for Lockheed Aircraft, the city's largest business. Leaving the plant at the end of a 4 to 12:30 swing shift. My ID badge still clipped to my shirt, driving a plain jane 1968 Falcon at the speed limit.

Burbank PD pulls me over acting like he just caught me ass-fucking his 16 yr old daughter and asks:

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN BURBANK AT ALMOST ONE IN THE MORNING!?"

That has always qualified for first place in the stupid question contest in my mind.

Second place goes to an Arcadia, CA cop who asked me "What are you doing in Arcadia?" - while holding my driver's license & registration which both had an Arcadia street address printed on them.

I worked swing shift for more than a decade. if I did not get pulled over at least once a month it was a surprise. Always bullshit. "You were weaving" No, I happen to be driving home at the same time they toss the drunks out of bars. I was coming home from work. Sober. Or my other cali favorite - "you were not wearing your seatbelt." Total bullshit. Sitting in a police car behind a 1 ton van with tinted rear windows at night? you can't see shit.
Oddly they would never write me a ticket. I always bit my tongue, and got on with my life. But they made sure I got a great impression of cops. I would not put a cop out if he was on fire.

B.

 

More of a joke than an actual experience.
Cop hiding in the bushes waiting for hot rodder who speds through.
Pulls him over and says "I've been wating for you" and hot rodder
replys "I got here as fast as I could"

 

ahah, good one. I hate those bastards.
Gotta say that i "met" so many cool attitude cops on the car forums, but in real life only happened a few times...

 

I had just got outta school and was crusing down Rt 4 in my 3/4 ton truck. With the pedal to the floor it would only do 69 mph. I see the blue and red lights in my mirror and pull over. He askes me "son do you know what the speed limit on state route 4 is?" I replied I know it aint 69 mph or else you wouldent have pulled me over. He chuckled and said well im gonna drop your speed to a 60 in a 50 for being honest. I got a ticket for 40 bucks. Coulda been worse ya know?

 

"It's only a Fix-It ticket so after you have it signed off you can lower it again."

 

Stae trooper pulled me over in my 52 chevy pickup for failing to use my turn signal. When i explained to him it never came with them he then says well you have blue dots and they are illegal. I tell him they are legal because the truck is older than fourty years and the blue dots are smaller than one inch in diameter. He tells me i am wrong and does'nt know where i got my information so i show him the print out from the washington state patrol web site that i keep in the glove box.
All he could come up with after that was "so do you have insurance on this thing"?
Which of course i did.

 

Sure are a lot of Washington state stories on here.
Must not be my imagination that they do tend to be a bit more eager to write stupid tickets here, and pull folks over for any imagined infraction.

 

Not quite the same story, but I was pulled over a number of years ago for judicious use of a pissed off 283, four speed and 4:10's.

After doing a cop check with nary a fuzz in sight, I turned onto a major thoroughfare, put the loud pedal to the floor taking the hot little 283 to 8 grand between speed-shifts, enjoying the lack of traction through all four gears. I ran it out for a bit then lifted and came down to the speed limit. After a few seconds, there they were, red and blue party lights in the rearview.

Two sidenotes here. First, there was no exhaust, just uncapped headers dangling under The '62. Second, this was a mile later that the black and white popped me.

So I pull into a parking lot as I don't like to stay on the road making Big Brother stand unprotected on the tarmac. Too many idiot drivers ready to rubbrneck the situation and kill him. Upon arriving at my window, noticing the sticker on the vent window that read "I know, I know, license AND registration", he said to me, "I don't know what the hell you did back there, but I sure heard you do it! You must have been going pretty fast considering it took me almost a mile to catch up to you".

Apparently he was sitting behind the gas station at the corner I took off from. No moving violation, but I earned myself a no proof of insurance ticket that night even though I had insurance and a current card. Progessive insurance can suck it for that.

The Man comes back asking where I made the insurance card, "sure looks real". I told him it was real. He told me the insurance company had never heard of me before. I took the ticket and called progressive. The brought up my info, read off the status as current and all of my info and vehicles. Cool I thought, no biggie. Go to court, and again, they said they never heard of me. Bam. No insurance, bend over please.

 

Progressive insurance sucks, they wouldent cover my 78 f100 cause it was too old. I mean really?? Maybe thats why they wouldent claim you cause your vehicle was deemed too old!! Pricks

 

My son lit the tyres of his Anglia when leaving the local Mc'D's. The police were just down the road & heard it all, they pulled him over & asked if he'd just done a "Burnout'. The cop bent down & felt the Front (!) tyres. Saved him burning his fingers on the back one's though!

 

"How fast were you going ? "

 

Getting pulled over by Stuttgarts finest and asked to present my driving license. I gave it to him. It was a British driving license, old style with no picture and of course, not in German. Poor guy spent about twenty minutes trying to work out what it said, before going all "bad cop" on me. He said "Well, it looks to me like you don´t HAVE a driving license!". I think this was the moment when he expected me to fall to my knees and beg him not to put me in prison, but I laughed my ass off. He did not look happy at this point. I asked him how likely he thought it was that I´d been driving around since 1986 without a valid license? Still, it was 40 minutes of my life I´ll never get back. After he let me go, I drove 200 yards further and got stopped in a random alcohol check! It was a little hard to remain calm by then....

 

cop followed me through town. pulled me over right befor the edge. he followed me for 2 miles and pulled me over. asked if i had been drinking. no. then he said something about inatentive driving. took my stuff came back and told me he was gona let me off with a warning. What F for?

 

I won't search the car this time...

 

You been drivin that fast all day? Nevermind ,don't answer that. Just slow down...., Somewhere in Iowa couple summers ago.

 

Or , how about the stupidest thing you've ever said to a cop???

Driving home to Maine from Ft.Devens ,Mass back in 1971. I was cruising up Rt 95 in my 68 SS Chevelle. Going through New Hampshire I decided to play a little with a guy in an Oldsmobile who was creeping up from behind. I kept increasing my speed to match his as he started going past me . We were at about 90 mph when about 1/2 mile ahead I saw a NH State Tropper in the breakdown lane.The door opened and the trooper motioned to pull over ...we did. I sat there behind the Olds behind the trooper as he wrote up the other guy. He finished , the other guy pulled away, and the trooper came back to my car.
TROOPER, " Can I help you son?"
ME, " Daaah , well, I was going the same speed as that guy ....I thought you wanted me too."
TROOPER, " Do you want to make a confession son?"
ME, "No sir."
TROOPER, " Well then, get the hell out of here."
ME, " Yes sir".

I think the Military sticker on my front bumper saved my butt that day, it sure wasn't my ability to talk my way out of trouble.

 

"You can't park there"

At the same time his personal car is parked in front of a fire hydrent!

 

Let me preface this by saying that it didn't happen to me, it happened to my Dad. Let me also say that the vast majority of the cops I've encountered have been decent and professional (DMV inspectors are another case entirely!) BUT.... even the LEOs here will agree this was a dumb-ass thing to say....

It's about 1965 or so and my folks are going to be going out for dinner, leaving the three of us kids with a sitter. Dad leaves the house in his Renault Dauphine to pick the sitter up and is gone for quite awhile. Suddenly, there's a knock on the door and my Mom answers it to find a neighbor (who's also a volunteer fireman) there, and he tells her my Dad has been in an accident, but he's okay and he'll drive my Mom down to the scene. Mom chooses to drive herself and gets to the intersection of Route 12 and what is now I-395 in Lisbon, CT to see the Dauphine wadded up into a ball and my Dad standing over a guy sitting on the curb, yelling at him. As is turns out, the guy sitting was from MA and was a little lost, so as he exited the Turnpike, he was paying more attention to his map than to where he was driving.... so as her turned to head south on Route 12, he did so into the northbound lane, where my Dad was approaching from. Not wanting to head-on into as full-sized Chevy, Dad serves to the left to avoid the Masshole, hits sand, skids into the curb and barrel rolls the Dauphine. When the car comes to a rest on its side, Dad climbs out of what was the windshield and looks back to see where Mr. Masshole his. The guy, who had stopped his car in the northbound lane when my Dad started to skid and roll, hops back into his Chevy and pulls it to the side of the southbound lane (where he should have been in the first place). A CT state trooper is summoned, talks to the parties involved and issues MY DAD a ticket for failure to drive to the right! My Dad said that he didn't drive there, he rolled there and besides, he was forced to do that because of the on-coming Chevy. The trooper tells my Dad that there's no proof that the guy was in the wrong lane, that his car is on the proper side of the road. My Dad asks what kind of proof he wanted. The cop says (here's the pay-off line, kids.... you ready?)......... "Well, you shouldn't have served. You should have hit him head-on.... then you would have proof!" Full-sized Chevy versus Renault Dauphine (a no-seatbelt, unpadded dash late-50s special) would have resulted in my Dad being severely injured or killed.... yeah, that was GREAT advice.

Needless to say, Dad fought that ticket. In court, the judge asked him what happened and my Dad told him the whole story, including the trooper's advice that he should have hit the other car head-on. The judge absolutely blew his top, asking if "that damned idiot" was in his courtroom then. My Dad, being the helpful citizen that he is, pointed to the now shrinking trooper and gleefully said, "That's him there, your honor!" The charges against my Dad were dropped and the trooper was treated to a 10 minute tirade by the judge in the middle of the courtroom.

 

Generally the traffic police here aren't too bad. Over the years i've got to know a few off them, one's a rodder himself. They have a job to do and aslong as your mostly legal, polite and leave out the smart ass remarks they pretty much leave you alone. I've only ever been stopped a handful of times and always late at night as the cops thought the car may have been stolen. Didn't bother me and IF it had been stolen i'd be thanking the cops.

Had to laugh though. The last time i was pulled the officer comes over and says with a stupid grin on his face.

"Hey Fonzie (giving the thumbs up), where you going this time of night?"

I just kind of rolled my eyes at him and started laughing. It was quite funny i'll give him that and a cop with a sense of humour isn't a bad thing.

 

Nothing stupid was said, but the situation was pretty dumb. About 5 miles from The Florida Border in Mississippi I was doing 55 in a 65, got pulled over and was handed a written warning for driving to slow. Then the second I crossed over into Florida got pulled over, taken out of the car (well, it was a van) and had to wait while they called in dogs to sniff the van out.

Very annoying, and in total wasted about three hours of my time.

 

I was driving to work and got pulled-over. The officer said he had me doing 34 in a 25 zone. I politely pointed out the 35 MPH sign that was less than 20 feet from where we were sitting. He got all huffy-puffy and walked back to his patrol-car with my license and registration.

A few minutes later he came back, handed me my documentation, and said, "slow down, I'm letting you off with a warning." I could only say, "yes, sir," with a slight smile, and drove off.

FWIW, this was in Gardner Kansas...

 

My Father is a Judge... he gets pissed about the same kind of crap, basically this is a police officer not understanding or knowing the statutes and it wastes the courts time and resources let alone your own time.

I carry copies of the typical statutes that may avoid this kind of mess. I've never had to show them to an officer and it's my guess that it's still 50/50 that you would end up in court. Handing them to an officer will probably just piss him off since you are basically telling the officer they don't know what they are talking about.

 

I carry the same document.