Whats the most Stupid thing a Cop has said to you

WY highway patrol--"Do you WANT a ticket????.cause if you don't quit runnin' your mouth, you're gonna GET ONE"

me--" I thought I was gettin' one anyway"

WY highway patrol--" I was going to give you guys a warning, but YOU won't shut up..."

me--" Sorry, I thought it was a done deal....and at $140, I wanted to get my money's worth"

<< 4 of us on Harleys, headed thru WY to MT, passed the WHP on the shoulder ticketing two other bikers---chased us down and informed us we didn't "move over or reduce speed" when we saw him. A new law, and he claimed there were signs everywhere informing of the new law(we saw none), and it was $140 fine. Of course, I went off...."where's the signs? there's no effen signs! show me some signs!!". >>

 

Your free to go...... JC

 

Yeah, so did everyone else! The local jailer was cool and refused to cuff me when he took me in (she knew me real well and knew I would be bailing out) so the officer got pissed with her. She made him leave because she had rank in HER jail. My girlfriend had to come pick me up, I had to post bail, he took my gun into lock-up, had to call-off for court the next morning (but they threw it all out when I produced my handgun license), took a month to meet the detective that took care of the armory to get my pistol back! I have seen the young punk cop that got me out in the bar a few times since and always make sure he doesn't feel "comfortable"
drinking in front of me because I'd call a dial-a-drunk on him in a heartbeat!!!!!!

 

Driving a new Pontiac T/A thru Junction City, KS in 1978. After getting lit up and putting a $20 travellers check in the mail box for the nice officer, (he was very professional and courteous) He asked "Do you need me to escort you back over to the interstate"? "No sir", I replied "I believe I can find it by myself, in fact I would appreciate it if you'd give me a couple minutes head start". He chuckled and said " I'll give you that". Didn't see him again.

 

Dumb Cop Question; Didn't you see me sitting right there? Main street, Washougle Washington,,,, Son of a Bitch.
The Wizzard

 

Fixed

 

I was drag racing in town with a buddy and a city cop catches us and pulled us over into a parking lot. I got out of my car as he approched me he yells"What the hell do you think this is? The Indy 500?" I was to scared to give him a smartass answer but I sure thought of a few. Normal Norman

 

As a former member of law enforcement (Military Police) I find it funny that, with few exceptions, the pervailing theme is:
1. I was breaking the law.
2. I got pulled over.
3. I said something that could be considered a "smartass" remark.
4. I got a ticket.

Yes, there are members of law enforcement that are bad apples. Most of the responses here are of the "I was asking for it" category. Just think about it.

 

My wife and I went to a somewhat secluded park and ride to make out since she never had made it in a car before. Yep, no lie in that white gown on our wedding day.

It was a little tricky since we were in a pick-up, but I got it done and was settling back under the steering wheel wearing nothing but my socks when I realized a trooper was standing right at my window. I yelled right in his face it startled me so bad. I then said "you scared the hell out of me!" He turned on his flashlight and saw nothing but skin and turned it back off. He then stated that there had been reports of vandalism in the area. I said the only thing I was vandalizing was her, and we're married. He said you might want to go somewhere else and finish. I said believe me, I'm finished. He turned and walked away and I could see his hat bouncing on his head in the moonlight because he was laughing so hard.............

 

I think you just proved cosmo's point.

 

I can just imagine the state troopers gathered around the computer, reading the HAMB forum.

 

I don't speed. Makes life easy.

 

Got pulled over while I was in college in Denton, TX at about 3 o'clock in the morning, after several hours of cramming for a final exam.

I was exhausted, missed my turn on Carroll Blvd, and hooked a u-turn.

Motorcycle cop pulled me over and told me that he pulled me over for doing an illegal u-turn. I said, "ok".

He then asked me...."why did you do the u-turn?"

I replied really slow and snarky, like I was talking to a child, "I was going THAT WAY and I wanted to go...THIS WAY".

He didn't appreciate my sarcasm and gave me an $85 ticket. It was a lot of money for a broke college kid at the time.

 

oh did we offend you? The ca cops are the absolute worst, like nazi's

 

No, I disproved it. I'm one of the most laid back guys you'll ever meet. I've been a LEO for almost twenty years and can count on one hand the times a normal situation has degraded to physical violence. I treat everybody the same from the richest guy in the BMW to the 16 year old driving the ricer with the fart can exhaust. I treat people with the utmost respect and expect the same. I don't harass or profile. I talk in a calm even tone and refrain from talking down to people. I have nothing to prove to anyone, I do a job and I go home to be with my family and work on my own hotrod. I will not use violence on a person unless they decide they want to use it first. But when I do I don't fuck around either. Fighting fair will get a police officer killed so I have no intentions of doing that. I do see a few cops that behave the way you guys are describing but they are usually young and they don't last too long. It's a stressful job, the dicks usually burn out quick and the old mellow guys like me are left to explain the actions of the ones that are full of piss and vinegar.

 

I had a cop tell me he "heard me speeding" in my old HOT ROD Datsun pickup. 2" pipe and a short glasspack. very loud, but even at max throttle and 6000 RPM shifts it still took a while to be truly speeding.

I should have asked since he can hear speed I wonder if he could see sound. got a ticket for a tail light or something. you think he would have at least been consistant and gave me a ticket for noise.

funny thing, this happened late at night going through Niles Canyon for you bay area people.(2 lane road going through the hills) there was a mud slide and the road was one lane with a stop light controlling when it was your turn to go. I got pulled over 100 feet or so past the red light.

by the time I got my license back in my wallet I just figured he was gone, so I took off like a bat out of hell. at about 60 MPH my buddy informs me that the cop was still at the red light and he was now turning around, I figured there's no stopping now and just kept going until a couple miles ahead where there is a cut off (Polomares Road for those who know the area). I guess since he never caught me he could not follow through with anything.

I wonder if he ever told anybody that a Datsun pickup out ran him through the twisty roads?

 

I had just blown up my 3rd 5spd trans on my Ranger Splash on my way to work the night before, drove it home in 4th gear, traded it off at the local sleazy car lot at 9am after work and went to bed...I woke up at 8pm and decided to go check out my fancy "new" Mercury Sable...I made it to city limits when the city cop pulled me over while he was coming back into town...asked me for my license and registration, I told him I bought the car less than 12 hours ago and the insurance company isn't open on saturdays to print me a new card, so here's the card for my Ranger and I know this car is covered...he tells me that he's writing me up for not having insurance and having a headlight out...I told him I've driven the car all of a mile since owning it and haven't had time to even adjust the seat, let alone replace bulbs (which is why I was driving to walmart to get new bulbs anyway)...he gives me some bullshit story about properly inspecting your vehicle before operating it and blah blah blah...I asked him if he does that inspection on his cruiser every time he drives it, and he replies "of course"...so I said "then how come your headlight is out, too?...can I write you up for that?"...he took the ticket back and told me to go fix my car in the morning and not to drive it until I get a new insurance card printed...

 

I've been lucky. Back in '71 while driving through Montana where at that time the speed limit was "what is reasonable and prudent" I topped a small hill at near 110 mph in a new chevy MC. Of course I meet one of Montana's Finest in one of those Dodge cop cars. I zip by not lifting....it don't take him long to come up behind and lite 'em up.

He walks up all smiles and says "Were ya going so fast?" I tell him me and the bride are trying to beat a nasty storm to the nearest town for the night. He tells me he stopped me because I had a H/L out, and we walked to the frt to show me. It wasn't out then. He just says "Well I'll be" and then "maybe ya better slow down so ya make it home"

He did his job and it didn't cost me a thing. BTW...the car got hit by lightning a bit later.

 

oh man....that is some funny stuff!

I even shared that one with my wife.....we're both still laughing about it.

 

Boy I'm tired of hearing that old line of bullshit.

 

Easy there Barney Fife.

And yes....I was in law enforcement for 4 years.

 

When I was about 20 I had a crappy job in an even crappier ghetto neighborhood. I worked long hours for an ass of a boss and when I got off work I was always in a rotten mood. I'd get in my car and try to see how fast I could drive home. Normally it would be a 30 minute drive but I was able to get it down to 15 minutes a few times. One time I'm flying down the city street doing at least 50-60 mph in a 30 mph zone, I'm not sure, I just had the pedal to the floor. As I'm flying down the street I cross a cross street and see a couple of cops taking a break in their cruiser. They seemed about as surprised as me and pull out to come after me. They turn their lights on and I pull over. The officer comes up to my door and asks, "Do you know why I pulled you over?". I had just sent in my plate renewal two days before and didn't have my new tags on the plate yet. I did something I normally don't do when in a hot situation but I was able to think fast and say, "Yeah, my plates are expired but I sent in the money two days ago." The cop just stood there a minute and said, "Um, yes, that's why." He took my license and called it in. A few minutes later he came back and issued me a waring about the plates and I had to go into the police station a week later when I got the tags and there was no fine. I know he had me, I had to look like a blur when I went past them. I was expecting the worst but I figured he didn't have any real proof I was speeding, or at least none to prove how fast I was going.

 

Son, did you know you we're speeding? ......"Well no officer, I thought everyone else
was just driving slow"....it didn't go over well needless to say from my "smart-ass days".

 

Where to start?? Not like I've only had them say something stupid one time.
Last weekend I'm driving to the city to pick up a car I bought and I'm on the freeway, going the same as everyone else when I see a state cop coming up on my left. The guy gets along side me looks out the window at me then drops back and pulls in behind me. As soon as there's a spot with a little shoulder and he lights em up. I've got no idea what he's pulling me over for.
After I pulled over he comes up on the passenger side, I roll down the window and he looks at me for a second and says "why didn't you have your seat belt on back there?"
I look at my seat belt, then look at him for a second and say, I'm wearing my seat belt.
He says well, sometimes it's hard to tell with some of these seats.
He walked away without me saying anything that I wanted to say to him because my seven year old daughter was in back and she shouldn't hear what I wanted to say to him.

 

There's that attitude that gets cops so loved!

Considering that I've known lots of cops and at least 3/4 of the cops that I've known were worthless slow minded donut eating burdens to the tax payers, and more than half think they are above the law, I don't see the problem with telling a few stories about true encounters with those jelly bellies.

Don't get me wrong, there are some damn fine men that are cops also, but way too many of them are just a waste of money paying some guy who no one ever respected so he figured that maybe if he had a badge he would be cool.

Remember that many of the folks that you assume are too much of a coward to walk up on a random victim you pulled over are former military.
Military folks signed up for a job that involves being ready for people with knives, bombs, bullets, chemical and nukes that for sure want you dead.

Many more are in other higher risk jobs than lots of cops are in.

 

freeeeeze!!!!!!!!

 

About a month ago, I was on my Sportster here in Rapid City. I was tired of studying so I went for a little ride just to take a break. I was in town, but I was the only guy on the road. The speed limit was 35 and I was doing about 30, had the thumb screw set on the throttle and didn't have my hands on the handlebars.
I was wearing a helmet (on a Harley, no less) and It doesn't have shit for peripheral vision. I missed the cop pulling up to my left on the one way street. He gets up beside me and rolled down his window. He yelled something, so I lifted my visor up and he repeated himself again with, "you have to use your hands!" And makes a motion like he's riding a motorcycle, so I grabbed those bars for all I was worth. He rolled up the window and drove off laughing and shaking his head. The cops out here are really good about motorcycles.

Adam

 

I have been pulled over several time and when asked "Do you know why I pulled you over?" I would always say I have a pretty good idea or I don't want to lie to you, but don't think it's wise to admit to anything. Let me go every time

 

Jan.1, 2012 I was towing my newly acquired '51 Chevy on a two wheel tow dolly to my brothers farm to store it for the winter. I'm traveling a 55 mph in a 65 mph zone on a 4 lane divided highway. Because I'm traveling 10 mph SLOWER than the posted speed limit I have my 4-way flashers on and I have a magnet mount, amber strobe light on the roof of my Dakota pick up turned on. I notice an Illinois state police officer monitoring traffic going in the opposite direction and as I pass by where he is parked , he pulls out and lights me up. So I pull over and as I'm sitting there waiting for him to come up to my truck I can't for the life of me figure out why he might have pulled me over. He asks me for my license and proof of insurance which I hand to him and he goes back to call it in. After about 10 minuets he comes back and tells me that the strobe light on the roof of my truck is illegal. I said that I wasn't aware of that and right then I turn it off. He then asks me who's car I'm towing and I tell him it's mine. He asks how come there are no plates on the car and I tell him that just purchased the car 4 days ago. He then asks to see the registration for the car. Again, I tell him that I just got the car 4 days ago and I haven't got the registration back from the state yet. Again he asks me who's car it is and he asks me if I'm operating as an un-registered tow truck. I tell him that the car is mine and I'm towing it to my brothers to store it for the winter. The officer then goes back the the car and copies the VIN number and goes back to his car to check to see if maybe he has just stumbled onto an auto theft ring. After another 10 minuets he come back and gives me a ticket for "illegal use of amber flashing lights."

Fortunately for me the officer wrote the exact statute that I was in violation of so that I could research my crimes. I called one of my best motorcycle riding buddy's who happens to be a retired traffic officer and I explained the whole situation to him. He said he's never heard of such a thing and I should fight the ticket. Well, I have my day in court and when I talk to the assistant states attorney who is there to represent me, he asks me about the details of my case. So I explain it and show him my paperwork of the state statute and he says " I've never heard of such a thing and I'm paid to know about these things." In my research of the state statute it refers to the required use of amber lights by state registered tow trucks but, it says nothing about private citizen being prohibited from using amber warning lights. The attorney goes out into the hall outside of the court room to talk the the police officer and after about 5 minuets the attorney comes back in.....case dismissed. The state police officer never did show his face inside the court room.

I respect the tough job that our police officers are required to do but, they are not infallible and they can and do make mistakes. There's nothing quite like getting a ticket for driving safely and giving other drivers warning that you are traveling slower than the posted speed limit. I just wish I wouldn't have had to use a vacation day to prove this new, still wet behind the ears, academy graduate that he was wrong.

Doc

 

Sir you did not indicate when turning ( just after just about poking his eye out on the trafficator as he bent down to speak through the window) A trafficator is one of those little lighted arms that use to be around more on older English cars.