Whats the most Stupid thing a Cop has said to you

Many years ago, a local restaurant that was rumored to be "connected" was held up at gunpoint. Several days later, the getaway car was found near the park. The tow company I worked for got the call to haul it to police impound. I arrived to hook it up and my cop buddy opened the trunk to make sure it was cleared of weapons and other evidence. Inside was the robber with two holes in the back of his head. Cop buddy says "hey George, look...worst case of suicide I've ever seen"
I about lost it. I laugh now but that threw me off my game for a few days.
Did I mention that joint was connected? That place hasn't been touched since.

 

"Are you going to give me a tickett or just what the Fu-k are you going to do? I got the ticket and he got pissed "

Bullshit. True, I wasn't there, but it's hard to believe that's how you spoke to someone with a badge and a gun. Unless you were Clyde Barrow, but he's dead, right?<!-- / message -->

 

I was asked " Is this heap leagal ? "
My awnser " just barely "
Which prompted a roadside inspection , The funny part is this was when Oklahoma still did yearly inspections. I had just passed the very first inspection that very day! I didn't try stop the guy, he loo0ked like he was having fun. I did get a ticket for not having seatbelts which was thrown out cause of the whole pre 66 thing... Lol

 

back in the old days I had a buddy that attracted the Fremont PD like stink on shit. we were just out of High School and getting dicked with by the cops was a regular occurance. they were racially profiling us... long haired white kids in muscle cars are always up to no good and must be harrassed... what a bunch of dicks FPD was.

anyways this one buddy was always a smart ass and he had a cop say "Mr. Smith, you look like you are taking a shit" .. I don't recall what inspired that comment, but my buddy was quick to reply "yes officer, right on your face". after that he was a marked man. looking back he should have sued the FPD for harassment, being a smart ass is not a crime. they fucked with all of us, but he got it more than the rest of us.

I'd say I have only been pulled over once in the last 20 years, but my rear still puckers up when I see a black and white behind me. fuckers.

 

"Do you know how fast you were going?" is specifically designed to nail you, regardless of how you answer.

If you say "Yes", you are admitting guilt for speeding. If you say "No", you get nailed for negligence.

Oh, BTW, telling the cop "You pulled me over, you tell me!"...doesn't work, either.

I did tell an officer once "Yes, Sir, I was driving a speed that was prudent and appropriate for the current road conditions." I was doing 20 over. After he checked my "papers", he came back with "Slow your ass down!" and walked back to his cruiser. No ticket.

 

Sir...Sir...Sir. I'd swear I saw flames coming out your tailpipes...better have that checked out by a mechanic. Ahh, Ok, officer.

 

wish i was there so i could bow down and lick your boots

 

Regular police or HAMB cops? HAMB cops win hands down.

 

I was in a OT truck and had a horrible rear main seal leak and just so happened a Trooper pulled behind me and no sooner as he caught up to me he threw the lights on.... He asked if i had any problems with the truck, i said no..... He said could you step out for me and stand in front of my car. Then he stands there with me just looking at his hood and windshield and asked after about a minute, do you see anything wrong? I said no... Well its was covered in oil spots and his windshield was so smeared from the wipers it was hard to keep a straight face, He looks up under my truck and of course it wasnt pouring out with no pressure. He said well the whole underneath of your truck is covered in oil, why is that? I then immediately said well i didnt know a self lubrication system for my ujoints and suspension was a problem, i thought i was kind of a pioneer. He got so red and pissed and knew he would be cleaning his windshield on the side of the road. I got a verbal warning and a huge laugh on the way home less than a mile away. Also never get pulled over in Granbury, TX unless you want to meet the whole city police force if your bigger than them (im 6 ft and 260 and im not fat by no means) or your car is a little louder than there boyfriends fart.

 

Wow thats why I'm not a cop. I hate self impressed pricks! it would of been hard not to cuff him and stuff him and sort out who's who later

 

Gawd, even tho' I'm a law-abiding citizen I can add to this!

Had a cop ask me for my DL once. When I went to hand it to him, he pulled his gun on me Lol

Another time when YOM came out here in Ohio, I got pulled over left and right for '63 OHIO plates on my '63 Impala.

Coming back from Butch's Rod Shop in Springfield once. I was going 72 and a guy came by and blew my doors off! This State Trooper came roaring up and pulled me over WTF! It was b/c I didn't have my front lic. plate attached - I pulled it off before coming him so it didn't fall off. The screw broke.

Finally, recently on the way to work in the '62, a Hilliard cop pulled me over and asked, "I clocked you at 82mph". I didn't want to tell him I was trying to go 100!

 

I was once ticketed by highway patrol officer for "droving on improved shoulder." Aside from this being completely legal in my circumstance (on 2 lane roads, where a vehicle has slowed or stopped to make a left turn across traffic, vehicles can use the shoulder to continue around the stopped vehicle), "droving" is something you do with cattle... and this was in Texas. I went to court, presented the wording from the ticket to the judge as the "crime" I was accused of, and asked the prosecution to identify this in statute. They couldn't (obviously). Officer confirmed that he had intentionally written "droving on improved shoulder" on the ticket. Judge admonished him for being (it's been many years, but I think this is his exact wording)... "eaten up by the stupid." Ticket was dismissed.

 

O.K. ... I gotta ask: Why would the cop care about the last time you were at that auto auction? I'm guessing that there is more to the story....

 

"Don't let me catch you again" he he

 

I had a few run ins with the law and they never turned out real well.

Cop pulled me over 1/4 mile from my house. I informed him a had a handgun in the car because I didn't want to get shot if he seen it by mistake. He asked for the handgun, and my paperwork, so I gave it to him. He asked if I had been drinking and I told him "NO". He didn't buy it (superbowl Sunday at 11:00pm) and gave be the ol' blow tube. I blew a big fat zero. He tells me to stay put and goes back to his car for 15 minutes. He returns to my window and asks me for my handgun license. OH SHIT! I grabbed by drivers license and cash but didn't have my wallet with me. He removes me from the car, puts me in cuffs, and says I'm under arrest for carry a handgun with no license. I told him I had a license and his squad car computer will prove it. He says "Yeah, it comes up but I looked it up in the book and you are suppose to have your copy with you. I offered to call my 16 year old and her walk it over to us (I could have hit my yard with a rock) and he replies "yeah, but you still didn't have it when I stopped you". What a total tool! We are heading to the station 15 miles away when he looks in his review mirror and says "So, what did you think of that superbowl?"..... Really?? Now you want to make small talk??? I just replied that I wasn't in no mood to make small talk and he acted offended.

 

OK, I'll go faster next time. I promise!

 

Came up to a four way stop (signs) with my honey one night and a car to my left was pulling up right after I did....so I stopped, took my right turn and immediately got pulled over by this blonde female officer of the law. Mmmm....did nothing wrong.....WTF? "Driver's license...registration"...etc. "Can I ask why I am being pulled over?", I ask. She says, "Well, I could tell that you thought about not stopping for the stop sign back there." I said, "What?" with I am certain was a VERY perplexed look on my face. She said, "I could tell that you were not going to stop for that sign until you noticed I was a police officer." I started to giggle, but thought better of it. My honey says....under her breath, "If you can read minds, tell me what I'm thinking right now." I about lost it then. I said, "But I DID stop, right?" She says, "Yes.", but repeats the part about my thinking about not stopping at the stop sign. Needless to say, I did not get a ticket. That was the first time I practically begged for one. I would love to have seen the look on that judge's face.

 

After passing a off duty officer he called for a car....then i get the "we want you to get home safely" as he handed me a speeding ticket... Really... cause if you did, you wouldnt have slowed me down... now i have to drive twice as fast to get home on time!!!

 

^^^^^^^^^ all the above^^^^^

 

I guess Sooo !

After retirement, I drove Limo Service for one of my old Customers......
One Nite (1:30 a.m. ) my Lady pass. sez, "Driver, We need to go back to the Grille (Pub), I left my Coat there ! " .........I turned onto next street, which turned out to be "wrong way" on one way street, I immediately GOT PULLED OVER !!!
The cop axed ME, "How much I'd had to Drink ?, I say, "probably, about as much as YOU have, SIR !"........He sez, "Are YOU LOADED ? " I said, "Think about what YOU JUST ASKED ME ! " Am I Loaded ???
He then sez, "I mean, Do you HAVE PASSENGERS ? YES !
I Got a Citation.......But beat it in Court ! Have a Good Night !
Smoked Up, Again, gettin' to be "Normal"....

 

5th amendment was created to protect innocent people. Ever noticed how a cop stays put after issuing the ticket. He's writing everything down, that came out of your mouth.. just in case you want to take it to court. I give them the minimum amount of info, cos nothing coming out of my mouth will "HELP" me in a court of law. His mind is already made up, before he even hits the lights

 

I got "pulled over" in my garage in Bryan, TX some years ago. The officer told me he "heard me speeding." Fortunately, I didn't have to take a ticket to court and argue how him hearing an exhaust note without knowing what gear I was in (or, for that matter, lots of other variables) could possibly translate into a speed in his head.

 

Wow....what a dick. You'd think that it would've been easier for the cop to just have you're kid come bring you you're license. Rather than have to deal with all the bullshit taking someone to jail.......

 

***************************************************************
"Hotskins",
I thought in Miss-ippi-e THEY Handed YOU tha' Ticket Book, and said "Write down what I tell You ! "..............Or,
Was that Georgia ?

Funny !

 

hahahahahaha

 

Actually... the self-incrimination clause of the 5th protects me from self-incrimination. I cannot incriminate myself if I have not committed a crime. As such, "pleading the 5th" is, in itself, an incrimination. If you are innocent, you cannot rightfully "plead the 5th."

/once-upon-a-time-constitutional-law-guy

The rest of what you said is spot on... "anything you say can be used against you in a court of law."

 

This thread will probably get closed.
I've been stopped plenty of times, most I deserved.
Some I had a light out and got nothing but a verbal get it fixed. A couple of times I was lucky because I was guilty of more than what they knew and just got a warning for something else.
I have respect for these guys because I know of 2 that were killed in the line of duty, and when you know them it hurts.
You know their the ones you call when you need help, but your the first to bash.
So you guys keep calling them names.... your the ones that look like an ass.

 

Another time I got pulled over for speeding. I had to drive to another town, get fitted for a suit that I didn't want to wear anyhow, and get home. The suit shop took way to long, 5:00 o'clock traffic was a bitch, and every jackass in northern Indiana had cut up off or pulled out in front of me. Needless to say I was in a really foul mood and then it got worse. The State tropper pulls me over, gets out of his car, adjusts his uniform, positions his hat, wipes his mirrored sunglasses and does his best "SUPER TROOPER STRUT" up to my window. By this time I am so pissed off I could spit fire. The rest goes like this:
TROOPER: I clocked you doing 62MPH in a 55. Have you been drinking?
ME: NO! Have you?
TROPPER: OUT OF THE GOD DAMN TRUCK SMARTASS!

Yeah, it didn't turn out well. I got an ass chewing, my truck searched, license ran, insurnace checked, and it took him about 20 minutes to write out my $118 ticket. Thank god nothing was wrong with my paperwork or anything else, I might have been the first guy getting life for speeding!

 

Love it!

 

Oh I had fun recently with one of the towns around here... Not the first time this has happened. But I managed to have some fun with it. Before the usual rants start, I'm friends with several cops, I know damn well it's VERY tough to be a truly stupid cop, especially around here where there's hundreds of applicants for a position.

That being said, most of us on here drive modified cars, often to make them go fast. Some cops have a hard on for cars like this, proven fact.

Anyhow..

Driving my Ford (1954) and I get pulled over. I was flying along doing a blazing 36 in a 35.

"Sir, do you know why I stopped you?"

Honestly Officer I have no clue.

"Well, you know you're not wearing a seat belt and when you pulled out of the 7-11 your backup lights weren't on"

Correct officer, the car doesn't have seat belts or reverse lights.

"It doesn't have them? I could impound your car for that!"

Officer, it never had them. It was built in 1954. It was built over a decade before they were required, in fact, you couldn't get them from the factory in 1954. (true, they did offer them as an accessory).

"All cars have to have seat belts, and reverse lights, I'm going to have to cite you for this!"

Well, while you're at it you might also want to know that my side mirrors are missing too.

(at this point I'm praying for a ticket, the guy is a well known asshole)

"yup, I saw that"

Look here officer, no reverse lights. No EPA label, no catalytic converter, lots of issues you could write me for.

"Any explanation why you don't have historic plates? You're not supposed to drive a car like this without them!"

Well i guess ya got me there, I must deserve a ticket officer.

So he runs me, writes me for, get this, illegal use of plates, no reverse lights and not wearing a seat belt.

I start laughing as I sign the tickets. He asks what's so funny and I tell him nothing, I'll see him in court. He sneers at me and walks back to his cruiser and says I ought to be thanking him for not impounding the car and that he will if he sees it again.

So I show up to court, the prosecutor calls my name in turn. He starts on the "these are no point tickets and you should just pay them" crap. No dice, I say that I plead not guilty and can prove my innocence. He gives me a look and says "oh yeah?". I said yes. First, please find me the statute where not having historic plates on a car of a certain age constitutes illegal use of plates issued to the car by the state MVC and also when reverse lights and seatbelts were retroactively required to be fitted to a 1954 car.

End up speaking w prosecutor and Judge. Judge is furious at the cop, cops sergeant gets called over. Sergeant is pissed at him, prosecutor is pissed, etc.

I found it funny. The guy is a rookie and getting a rather quick reputation for being a serious asshole. Town he works in has a no overnight parking ordinance, so he's taken to ticketing cars parked outside houses clearly having a party at 2:01am.. Stuff like that.