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What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by DaveyJonez, Mar 5, 2009.

  1. DocWatson
    Joined: Mar 24, 2006
    Posts: 10,278

    DocWatson
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    I had a running argument with the Barracks NCO at one of my old units that my old 38 Ford club coupe was a Chev because it was red and Ford didnt make red cars back then. He couldnt understand what a Hot Rod was, thought it was all stock!
     
  2. Every 327 is a Chevy, even if it's the Rambler motor that preceeded it. I've given up arguing that there's no such thing as a "big block" Pontiac motor, even though the big cube motors are the same block with smaller journals.

    It gets so that as long as someone is buying my shit, they can spread any story they want and I don't care. I've heard some of these same stories people have posted and have just let them go in one ear and out the other. Get a lot of them asked as eBay questions too. I think the best one had to be some asshole bitching about the price of a car who, when asked if he'd ever even been to a big car show like Hershey or Carlisle, writes back to me "Yeah, I hearda Carlyle" ... okay, but obviously you couldn't find it on a map.


    I did follow up on a story about a junkyard a guy told me about at a swap meet, a dude with about three teeth and all of them green on the edges (how the fuck do you grow moss on your teeth anyhow?). Found the place fine, but the dude is a collector and doesn't really sell stuff, later found out a guy I knew had to about beg for years to get a car out of him that he wanted bad. And by then it had sat so long it came out in pieces.


    I remind myself of that every time I wonder how the hell we ended up with our current president. Not that the last one was any better, but at least every time he gave a speech the stock market didn't tank 300 points or so.
     
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2009
  3. There used to be this burnt out hippie type guy that would hang around my buddies shop once in a while back in the 80's. He had a real rusty 70 Roadrunner with a 383 and 4 flat tires sittin' next to his garage for years. With a demeanor as serious as a judge he says to us " I hadda stop drivin it because it was too fast, in fact I used to beat the funny cars at Englishtown until they asked me not to race em' anymore because I was makin' em' look bad".
    Another guy who had a beat up 4-door 71 Chevelle with a 307 told me he thought something was wrong with the car one night because the back end felt kinda' squirrely. But at the next light when he asked his brother in law who was in the car behind him he was told " Didn't you look in your rear view mirror? You were just spinning the tires, smoke was pouring out of the wheelwells".
    I actually enjoy listening to some of these master bullshitters who've honed they're skills over the years once in a while.
     
  4. Mazooma1
    Joined: Jun 5, 2007
    Posts: 13,598

    Mazooma1
    Member

    ...go watch Fox, were talking hot rods here !!!
     
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2009
  5. cafekid
    Joined: Dec 4, 2008
    Posts: 380

    cafekid
    Member


    thats close to what i did.... he was talking about this nasty motor he had in the car and i asked him if i could hear it and he gave some story about not wanting to start it...
     
  6. BMR
    Joined: Jan 3, 2009
    Posts: 28

    BMR
    Member
    from ill.

    it takes all kinds of dumbass people to make the world go around.
    to bad i live next to some of them.:eek:
     
  7. tooslow54
    Joined: May 6, 2005
    Posts: 929

    tooslow54
    Member

    First one quoted for accuracy...and Maz...most of us wouldn't have noticed it had you not MIS quoted it...Keep your guys politics to yourselves.

    and lock comes in t-minus 4 3 2...
     
  8. Marc-OS
    Joined: Jun 18, 2008
    Posts: 19

    Marc-OS
    Member

    Had a guy come up to me and tell me he had a Nova that ran 7sec 1/4 miles with street tires, and was his daily driver. He also claimed he had a Suzuki Samurai 4wd that he used to win burn out contests with. Alcohol does funny things to people.
     
  9. Devin
    Joined: Dec 28, 2004
    Posts: 2,369

    Devin
    Member
    from Napa, CA

    ran when parked
     
  10. cafekid
    Joined: Dec 4, 2008
    Posts: 380

    cafekid
    Member

    i recently got rid of an all origional two owner 64 rambler 770 and i had mor than a couple guys tell me that there was no way in hell my car was og because amc didnt put a v8 in my car....... and then he would look into the window where the previouse owner had had the window sticker laminated and realized he was wrong. guys tend to think that since im a young kid (20/21) that they can fuck with me because i dont know anything, but the truth is..... i have building and working on cars since my mom would let my dad take me into the garage, and i am a fabricator and hot rod builder by trade.
     
  11. old1946truck
    Joined: Apr 9, 2008
    Posts: 685

    old1946truck
    Member


    Or what about that tornado thing you can put on top of your carb or throttle body to improve your gass milage.
     
  12. Mazooma1
    Joined: Jun 5, 2007
    Posts: 13,598

    Mazooma1
    Member

    One guy with a pretty nice '60 Chevy with a 409 was telling us how he ran low on brake fluid and poured milk, yes milk, into the brake cylinder to allow him to get home from the beach, some 40 miles.
    Everyone was slack-jawed listening to this stuff. I was about 16 at the time but the smell of bullshit was in the air.
    Funny thing was, though, is the guy was a straight shooter and always was really smart mechanically...so the story stuck with many of the listeners because of that.
     
  13. cafekid
    Joined: Dec 4, 2008
    Posts: 380

    cafekid
    Member

    no the ricers run the wheelie bars on the back to preload the front end.... they adjust the bars so that they are putting pressure on the ground.
     
  14. tooslow54
    Joined: May 6, 2005
    Posts: 929

    tooslow54
    Member

    hahaha....I see that one every day on craigslist and ebay...

    My favorite even though it's probably been mentioned:

    "hey, what year is that?"
    '54
    "Yeah, I had one just like it"...
    then you asked me because????

    When I had my '72 GS..."what kind of Chevelle is that"??? to which I replied: The Buick kind!...the look of confusion was priceless.
     
  15. chitbox dodge
    Joined: Apr 25, 2005
    Posts: 598

    chitbox dodge
    Member
    from dunlap tn

    had a guy tell me he had a fiero that was so fast he buried the speedometer and it came all the way around to zero again.

    same guy told me that you wont find limited slip differentials in any
    hi-po chevys cause they wanted the one side to slip to keep from busting tires on both sides.
     
  16. old1946truck
    Joined: Apr 9, 2008
    Posts: 685

    old1946truck
    Member

    What about the front wheel drive honda with a wing on the back to put down force on the back tires.
     
  17. DirtyThirty
    Joined: Mar 8, 2007
    Posts: 2,396

    DirtyThirty
    Member
    from nowhere...

     
  18. banjorear
    Joined: Jul 30, 2004
    Posts: 4,485

    banjorear
    Member

    For us flathead guys looking at some POS sitting on a garage floor...

    Yep, she's got a fresh rebuild in her with one of those stroker Merc. cranks.
     
  19. flathead6
    Joined: Jan 21, 2008
    Posts: 79

    flathead6
    Member

    When I sold my 72 Cutlass S, I had a guy argue with me that it was a 442. He kept saying that this car must be a special order since it had a 350 w/2 barrel. I final agreed so that he might buy it but he was just wasting my time.
    <O:p</O:p
    People always ask about the small hemi in my 55 <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com[​IMG]<ST1:pPlymouth</ST1:p</st1:City>. It’s a 230 flathead 6.
    <O:p</O:p
    I am a teacher, so I hear allot of BS. Last week some of the guys were talking about their “race cars.” One of them started talking about his dad’s mustang. All the basic BS, 10 grand in the motor alone, burnt the rear tires of the rims, etc. Then he says, “One night we were racing it and when he romped down on the gas it had so much compression that it blew all 8 plugs out of the block and stuck them in the hood.” I just laughed and walked away.
     
  20. Saxxon
    Joined: Dec 14, 2008
    Posts: 1,831

    Saxxon
    Member

    I had a small block Vega GT back in the 80's that I took pains to make look like a factory install. Neat car. I had a lot of fun building it. (327 with factory dress up and decals / powerglide / 10 bolt, narrowed and redrilled for 4 lug rims, factory GT vega rims) I was at a local cruise night and a guy walks up and tells me he has a factory big block Vega. Alluminum 427 with "secret" factory heads no less. Not wanting to get involved I simply tried to blow him off by telling how cool that was and asking to see it some day. I get some lame excuse that it's in a garage at the lake. Still willing to let the guy stay in his fantasy world, I express my disappointment and he moves on. A little later he comes back with a young lady in tow and procedes to give her the run down of the legacy of the factory v8 vega which included a history my rather mundane low performance model and how his all alluminum big block vega is an ultra-rare, super-cool, (I hope this a good enough story to get me laid) factory hot rod that ran 9's right off of the show room floor. He talked about match racing guys like Garlits and Landy. I couldn't take it anymore and simply walked away to look at the other cars. At least he didn't claim it ran on nitro...
     
  21. We have a winner!!!!!!!!!!!!!...........chevelle did not have a 396 until mid 60s,1965 and rare at that.Most 396s did not show up until 1966:cool:
     
  22. I Drag
    Joined: Apr 11, 2007
    Posts: 883

    I Drag
    Member

    Um...milk would work, actually. Any fluid.
     

  23. That fucker lived up my street!He ended up going to prison, I hated hearing that shit!


    IF he told the truth, then that solid axle rearend he took from the donor Vette is one rare dude!
     
  24. mrrich
    Joined: Jul 22, 2008
    Posts: 189

    mrrich
    Member
    from seattle

    I was at the dragstrip when a guy walked up to my car. He said, "Combustion chamber temperatures can reach 5000 degrees..." I told him hardened steel, weakens at 2000 degrees but doesn't melt until 2800 degrees. Aluminum, which these heads are made of, melts at 1220 degrees. He said, "Well it sounded good." and kept right on talking shit. He was awesome.
     
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2009
  25. lostforawhile
    Joined: Mar 23, 2008
    Posts: 4,160

    lostforawhile
    Member

    this is one of my pet peeves, i hate those dam things. everyone wants to know when i'll put a big wing on my car.....um...never!!! i have a low profile spoiler from an escort gt,but it blends with the body lines, and actually has a use,totally opposite of a fugly park bench size wing. I have people swear it adds horsepower, yea dragging a big chunk of aluminum through the air,ok whatever you say. I'll bet it adds as much horse power as the magic magnet gas molecule thing you stick on your gas line. double your fuel mileage!! if it really worked that well,don't you think everyone would have one?
     
  26. lostforawhile
    Joined: Mar 23, 2008
    Posts: 4,160

    lostforawhile
    Member

    should have asked him to grab the manifold and see if was still hot.
     
  27. RichG
    Joined: Dec 8, 2008
    Posts: 3,919

    RichG
    Member

    The moron who got this thread started, the infamous "CactusZach" is at it still, trying to back up his original claims with even more b.s.


    <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 10"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 10"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMelissa%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="Edit-Time-Data" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CMelissa%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_editdata.mso"><!--[if !mso]> <style> v\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} o\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} w\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} .shape {behavior:url(#default#VML);} </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {color:blue; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed {color:purple; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman";} </style> <![endif]--> "ok ok no one believes me wat ever thats to but expected with how ever many thosands of opinion fly threw this site in one day
    but the honest truth is
    i have no frigge clue how fast it does go considering its got a modded 727 3s speed stock with over drive and a gear vender tail section witch doubles up the gears even in overdrive so really in truth i have 8 gears to mess with i only got threw 4 and i was over the line so she had PLENTY more rpms to fuck with
    and actually the ONLY reason i know how fast it goes is i only tracked it once
    it has no chute and only one single top loop after i was done the run track officials kicked me off for NOT being honest with them
    and she was run very differently that day we ran it on 75% nitro just for kicks
    we dynoed it on pump gas (94 octane) when it made 783hp so really i actually have no idea wat it was makin for power when we pumbed in the nitro meth and messed wit the timing
    as for skins FUCK YA they hook up they are HOOSIER top fuel slicks 22 inches across baby no friggen white wall 10"s for me
    mind you a does have weelie bars to stop me from back flippen
    and right now im actually on a lap top at work (i work on oil rigs) almost 345miles from home for another 2 weeks so all yall gota wait for pics"

    <o:p> </o:p>
    <o:p> </o:p>
    Quote:<o:p></o:p>
    <table class="MsoNormalTable" style="width: 100%;" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody><tr style=""> <td style="border: 1pt inset ; padding: 4.5pt;"> Originally Posted by DaveyJonez <!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" o:spt="75" o:preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f"> <v:stroke joinstyle="miter"/> <v:formulas> <v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"/> <v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"/> <v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"/> <v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"/> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"/> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"/> <v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"/> <v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"/> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"/> <v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"/> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"/> <v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"/> </v:formulas> <v:path o:extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect"/> <o:lock v:ext="edit" aspectratio="t"/> </v:shapetype><v:shape id="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="View Post" href="http://www.jalopyjournal.com/forum/showthread.php?p=3675789#post3675789" style='width:9pt;height:9pt' o:button="t"> <v:imagedata src="file:///C:\Users\Melissa\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtml1\01\clip_image001.gif" o:href="http://www.jalopyjournal.com/forum/hamb/buttons/viewpost.gif"/> </v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]-->[​IMG]<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p>
    I think he's sayin' zero to sixty in 2.6 and 6.78 in the 1/4 (you'd hafta be in the 1.0's in sixty ft. to put your 2000lb + car in the sixes unless that old wedge chrysler is makin, 3500 hp), but it doesn't matter- claiming a 2000+ pound, street driven t bucket w/ a "70's Big Block Mopar" running in the high 6's is just plain absurd.


    Fuckin' absurd.....<!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shape id="_x0000_i1026" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="" style='width:12pt;height:15.75pt'> <v:imagedata src="file:///C:\Users\Melissa\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtml1\01\clip_image002.gif" o:href="http://www.jalopyjournal.com/forum/images/smilies/confused.gif"/> </v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]-->[​IMG]<!--[endif]-->

    In fact, in the spirit of this sort of claim, I think we should start a new thread: The most ABSURD CLAIM you've heard @ a car show, drag race, cruz night, etc.

    And I'll start<o:p></o:p>

    </td> </tr> </tbody></table>

    "its no "old wedge"
    its a monster
    personaly i can agree with ANYONE i waaaaaaayy over did that motor
    considering after the hybrid mod with some planning and thought it turned into a 512ic engine with aluminm heads and forged gutz and 2 850 double pumps on top of a tunnel ram
    and really knobled cam and all the good shit
    i geuss i should tell you im buy trade a high hp engine builder
    i know i know i just said in my last post i work on the rigs but really for 4 grand stedy per month with no kids or wife wouldn't you fund toys to??

    a lil off topic but this is my daily drive
    1988 daytona shelby
    2.2 liter turbo
    arond 450 hp (never dynoed but i did do an in car dyno with a G-tech)
    holset turbo charger offa 5.9 cummins
    30-50 psi of boost depending on how i feel at that moment
    runs the 1/4 in 12.3
    top speed 287 kph (canada sorry)
    check it out
    built her all on my lonesome lol
    www.therealpictures.com/zach"





    Personally, I really enjoy these kind of people, they make an otherwise dull day much more interesting...
    <o:p></o:p>
    <!-- / message --><!-- sig -->
     
  28. timebombkustoms
    Joined: Sep 23, 2005
    Posts: 310

    timebombkustoms
    Member
    from Indiana

    I can sum this up real fast for me......"You know I use to hang out with Ed Roth and or Von Dutch"
     
  29. lostforawhile
    Joined: Mar 23, 2008
    Posts: 4,160

    lostforawhile
    Member

    he's been licking those "special" kinds of cactus, thats the only explanation i can think of,or he's a troll. i tried decoding his posts about the 25 gear nuclear powered t,or whatever it was,and i simply can't make sense of it.
     
  30. RichG
    Joined: Dec 8, 2008
    Posts: 3,919

    RichG
    Member

    This was just so special I had to whip something up for the occasion. Feel free to use where you might think it appropriate...:D
     

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