Register now to get rid of these ads!

What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by DaveyJonez, Mar 5, 2009.

  1. bobw
    Joined: Mar 24, 2006
    Posts: 2,368


    I built a front engine dragster with a 300 Ford 6 in it. Just for fun I put part of a Cadillac valve cover on it. I can't believe how many old (like me) guys actually think it's a Caddy engine.

    One time an expert and his buddy were looking at it and the expert told his buddy don't be fooled by the valve cover. It ain't no Cadillac, it's a Chevy!

    I drove my son's '27 roadster to a car dealership to shop for a new S-10. It has quarter elliptic front springs on it. When I walked up to the roadster to leave a salesman, who was obviously a rod building expert was telling some onlookers that the car couldn't be driven because with that front suspension it would "cavitate", whatever that means.. I drove home on the freeway and lo and behold, no "cavitation".
    Hombre and pat59 like this.
  2. J_J_
    Joined: Feb 8, 2007
    Posts: 127


    I used to stamp my initials in panels I built, weld my initials on frames etc. had a truck I did hit Diesel Power mag, no credit like we agreed, saw it on a off road forum where he was talking about all the work so I told all the things he screwed up that I fixed, how much stuff was donated, etc.. he still wont talk to me and thats fine..

    Yesterday went to leave work and a couple guys were looking at my ugly f100, I put my gear in the truck tapped the throttle and hit the key when it fired right up guy made a snide remark about it being injected and I said no it's carb'd and he stepped right up to me claiming he's been a mechanic for 30 years and no carb ever has started right up like that, told his friend to pop the hood, then he claimed it was the throttle body holley that looks like a carb and walked off. I died laughing as I closed the hood told his friend they do when their right, obviously he's not much of a mechanic.. I see a guys ride I dont call bull shit on anything I let it be he either built and knows it or not. either way it's his toy not mine. But call bs on my builds and I'll show everyone how dumb you are.. bad habbit.. lol
    Denns1989 and Fordors like this.
  3. sevenhills1952
    Joined: Mar 14, 2018
    Posts: 954


    I just thought of a good one. I have a '58 Rambler American, flathead 6, 3 on tree.
    I'm driving home a while back, stopped at a light these 20 somethings pull up beside me and they're arguing over what it is.
    One guy says I's a Rolls Royce! See the big red R in middle of the wheels?

    Sent from my SM-S320VL using Tapatalk... Gary from Virginia
  4. KRB52
    Joined: Jul 9, 2011
    Posts: 1,026

    from Conneticut

    Chevy didn't make that many 'vettes. Just that many blocks.
    VANDENPLAS likes this.
  5. David Gersic
    Joined: Feb 15, 2015
    Posts: 2,361

    David Gersic
    from DeKalb, IL

    Cavitation is when bubbles form in a low pressure area around a propeller. You might have had some cavitation in your water pump, but I don’t think your front suspension will have much effect on that.

    Sent from my iPad using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
  6. El 56
    Joined: Dec 8, 2017
    Posts: 6

    El 56

    Guy asks a mustang owner,
    What does it do on the quarter?
    Haven't taken it to the track yet
    How much power does it make?
    500 hp at the wheels
    You had it Dyno'd
  7. sevenhills1952
    Joined: Mar 14, 2018
    Posts: 954


    As a teenager in the 60s there was a cruise restaurant we would sit at and watch cars go by. I used to love asking this one guy questions. "That one has a 3/4 cam" he would say. When asked what that meant he would say it was "three-fourths of a full race cam". Of course I asked what a full race cam was..."one that opens the valve all the way open" he would say.
    He was the same guy who would adjust his idle mixture screws, take it down the road wide open, come back and do it again. After doing that a bunch of times he would then spray paint inside his tailpipes with white paint. Then carefully paint his tire lettering with white enamel and a small artists brush.
    He always said he outran everyone...except whenever I was with him.

    Sent from my SM-S320VL using Tapatalk... Gary from Virginia
    belair likes this.
  8. Had half a hangover years ago at a show. Me and a buddy were sittin in my T Bucket nursing the nite before, when a couple of old codgers strolled up behind it , and looking at my 6 spline Halibrand quickchange blurted out "check out that power takeoff " Priceless !!!!!
    hotrodA likes this.
  9. A friend of mine with a '61 Unibody Ford truck was having some carb trouble last week, and it died on him on the freeway, wouldn't start back up. A cop showed up, annoyed that he was blocking a lane and couldn't push it to the shoulder due to back problems. Tow truck (rollback) finally arrived, and the driver got out, looked the truck over, and proceeded to tell my buddy and the cop that he couldn't tow it, he didn't have the proper equipment on his truck, sorry, etc... The cop (more annoyed) asked, "can't do it, or won't do it?" The tow truck driver scurried back to his truck and drove off. The next tow truck (another rollback) arrived, and my buddy asked the driver what was supposedly special about the truck, and if the trucks carry different equipment. Tow truck driver #2 was a little confused by his questions, said it was not a special job, and they all carry the same shit. Got it moved, no problems.

    The first tow truck driver must've been scared he'd screw something up, we're guessing.
  10. You might hate Mustangs, but it really isn't difficult to make 500 HP in a late model.
    Sorry kids, it's true.
  11. DDDenny
    Joined: Feb 6, 2015
    Posts: 14,776

    from oregon

    More than once I've responded to some little squid at an event when he claims he or his buddy has a 10 second street car, "Never seen a set of Chrondek timers on the street" I say.
    That usually triggers the Bambi in the headlights blank stare.
    belair, henryj1951 and seb fontana like this.
  12. AlaskanMatt
    Joined: May 22, 2015
    Posts: 69


    So, I've got a 37 ford coupe, I can't tell you how many people insist I'm wrong on the year of my car...So I gave them a hint.[​IMG]

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
    Special Ed likes this.
  13. May be , Gary, but they are just adding up numbers for each part purchased, in some cases.
    Install the cam a tooth off, and there goes about second of ET .
  14. gimpyshotrods
    Joined: May 20, 2009
    Posts: 18,036


    Make 500?

    You can buy that, and more, right off the showroom floor.
    57 Fargo likes this.
  15. spanners
    Joined: Feb 24, 2009
    Posts: 1,150


    Funniest thing I heard at a low brow car show was "shit I hate cars and all the dickheads who fuck with them". No it wasn't his missus, it was the bloke. She shot him a look and told him to suck it up as this was what she wanted to be doing that day and came over to talk to me about my Holden FJ ute.
    Lepus and belair like this.
  16. sevenhills1952
    Joined: Mar 14, 2018
    Posts: 954


    I have a '58 Nash Metropolitan. I got so tired of people at car shows saying "oh...thats the car that goes in water", (thinking it was an Amphicar) that I put a small boat prop up under the back.
    Now they just say "see...I told you it was one of those boat-cars".

    Sent from my SM-S320VL using Tapatalk... Gary from Virginia
  17. El 56
    Joined: Dec 8, 2017
    Posts: 6

    El 56

    Maybe he can build u a motor
  18. I hope she traded that peanut in for a better model!
  19. Well, after 40+ years of building/restoring, driving & owning variety of vintage cars, I’ve heard many absurd, idiotic or ridiculous claims that would take days, perhaps weeks, to recall them all, but here’s one from couple of years ago:

    While on a few hour Sunday drive in my PB Roadster, I stopped to attend/spectate a (vintage) car show.
    After paying the entry fee (mainly to access convenient parking ;-) and finding a shaded, side-field spot to park, some fellow displaying an older, vintage style drag racer nearby walked over to check out my ride and during our brief conversation mentioned a website forum specializing in older, vintage hot rods and such.

    He made it sound like a “place” where a small, but dedicated membership is seriously focused on period correct, “traditional build” vintage hot rods with accurate, authentic and uncompromised details & features and where pretty much all commentary or reference to non-“period correct” cars, their builds, components or parts, along with any other off-topic discussion is unilaterally frowned upon and promptly discouraged.

    I admit I don't have the skill set and/or time to effectively search around the vast world of the interweb, but been wondering if any one here has ever heard of or seen such website or should I just consider his claim as complete nonsense ?
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2018
    hotrodA, Gotgas, Max Gearhead and 3 others like this.
  20. impossible!
    Bandit Billy likes this.
  21. clem
    Joined: Dec 20, 2006
    Posts: 3,321


    I’ve heard that you can ‘google’ anything.
    Maybe try a google search...................
  22. Cosmo49
    Joined: Jan 15, 2007
    Posts: 1,233


    I have a '49 Chevy 1/2 ton, old red paint...I roll up or they roll up and say, "Fred Sanford's truck from Sanford And Son!" For over 50 times or more I've replied, "No, that was a Ford truck."
  23. Gotgas
    Joined: Jul 22, 2004
    Posts: 6,952

    from DFW USA

    I was closely looking over a beautifully restored Metropolitan at a show, and in that time I heard three consecutive people asking the exact same thing of the owner. After they walked off, I said he must have to field a lot of dumb questions. He just smiled, then said he would rather be compared to an Amphicar then be asked how many Hamsterpower it makes.

    Okay, here's mine. I had just gotten my baby blue 57 Plymouth 2dr wagon running, so took it around the block to the local convenience store for a few gallons of gas. The cashier inside said, "I love your car! I know exactly what it is."

    Impressed, I said, "Okay, then what is it?"

    She said, "Mmmm.. well, I can't remember the exact name, but it's what they take dead people to the cemetery in."

    clem, ClayMart and Max Gearhead like this.
  24. mgtstumpy
    Joined: Jul 20, 2006
    Posts: 8,721


    I had an OT '66 Fairlane GTA convertible that I restored and converted to RHD. The only local RHD Ford was a poverty pack Falcon or Fairlane more door, no other body styles apart from Falcon utility, different again to the Ranchero. No T-Bar console shifters, the list is endless.
    All the Ford and other so-called experts come up to me and say that I did a great job lengthening the doors and removing the roof to make a convertible from a local RHD Fairlane. In the end I tired of letting them know that it was an OEM convertible and that I used a RHD firewall for wiper sweep, heater box and brakes. The majority quickly responded that Ford didn't produce convertibles. :rolleyes: Here we go again I'd say to myself.
    I then had to educate them on the facts of life, look at the modified LHD dash configured to RHD format; it's nothing like the RHD Ozzie dash. Then look at the BBF engine, only offered here in bigger Galaxies. Then the body differences and additional reinforcements, fenders, T-bar shifter and console doors, hood etc etc.
    Same goes for my current '35 Chebby phaeton which is a local RHD car that I built LHD. All I get is when did you import it blah blah etc etc.
    This time around I bought a LHD '46 Olds sedanette that I'm building LHD. Local GM RHD Olds are totally different to Fisher bodied Olds however I've seen a rare RHD Fisher bodied '47 Olds sedanette which I photographed. Now I'll tell everyone that it was another RHD car, like the Chevy, that I converted to LHD and show them the photo of the RHD '47. :D They'll have no idea and I'll have another chuckle to myself!!:p
    34 GAZ and Cosmo49 like this.
  25. Cosmo49
    Joined: Jan 15, 2007
    Posts: 1,233


    ^^^^^ My head hurts.
    PAracer, Tomincanada and mgtstumpy like this.
  26. I’m 45. More and more young people have no idea what year of car they are looking at. When I’m driving it at a show, it seems every milleneal picks a year but 1957 when looking at my 57 Chev. I love it when they say “that’s like a 70s car bro”.

    I know different generation but I could ID most old cars by the time I was 10 thanks to my dad and books family members got me.
    Hombre and Wrench666 like this.
  27. Rusty O'Toole
    Joined: Sep 17, 2006
    Posts: 9,495

    Rusty O'Toole

    It's a Rolls Kenardly, Rolls down one hill and Kenardly get up the next ha ha ha funny joke.
  28. Sheep Dip
    Joined: Dec 29, 2010
    Posts: 1,572

    Sheep Dip
    from Central Ca

    Big Bag of Wind he is
  29. Been there, tried that, but (so far) haven’t found anything remotely close to what that fellow claimed.
    Hell, Google even offered this “Hokey Ass” forum as a "result", proving it clearly doesn’t have a clue either. :(
    clem likes this.
  30. samurai mike
    Joined: Feb 24, 2009
    Posts: 493

    samurai mike

Share This Page

Register now to get rid of these ads!


Copyright © 1995-2021 The Jalopy Journal: Steal our stuff, we'll kick your teeth in. Terms of Service. Privacy Policy.

Atomic Industry
Forum software by XenForo™ ©2010-2014 XenForo Ltd.