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What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by DaveyJonez, Mar 5, 2009.

  1. tenfive0
    Joined: Nov 10, 2013
    Posts: 19


    My grandfathers father was a blacksmith on my aunts side of the family.
  2. Hot Rod Rodney
    Joined: Jun 20, 2014
    Posts: 159

    Hot Rod Rodney
    from USA

    If you stand near your car at shows, you become a captive audience for every do-nothing braggart in the country. YOUR car is just an excuse for them to tell you about THEIR car (the imaginary one). The less they have actually done, the bigger their collection of stories.
    ramblin dan likes this.
  3. Da Tinman
    Joined: Dec 29, 2005
    Posts: 4,222

    Da Tinman

    8 sides, you forgot the inside and the outside........
  4. wicarnut
    Joined: Oct 29, 2009
    Posts: 9,033


    Alot of tall tales at car shows, this spring, elderly owner of a 77 vette, stock appearing, enjoyed telling us about his car. It had a special roller crank marine bbc, 800 hp, runs 10 flat on street tires and pump gas. What was kool IMO, was that my 2 friends and I did not rain on his parade, just smiled and said kool. Some time in the future when I'm really old and confused, I hope I can still go to car shows and some nice people will put up with me and my confusion. Somebody said, be nice to old people, one day you will be old, also, be nice, it does not cost anything. Everybody have a happy 4th and be safe. John
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2014
  5. hrm2k
    Joined: Oct 2, 2007
    Posts: 4,807


    a guy who attends our local cruise night has an older PT cruiser " Hemi Turbo " painted as a Shelby ( white with blue stripes ). He was telling us one night how he averaged 121 MPH on an across country drive. we called him on that one. He now shows up in his Pontiac Solstice with the lambo doors
  6. Grahamsc
    Joined: May 13, 2014
    Posts: 466

    from Colorado

    When you said 12 YO it all made sense.
    That is the exact age that my kids knew everything.
    grifcarnut likes this.
  7. I get a kick out of when we go places in our 55 Lincoln, we always run into someone who's uncle had one just like it.

    The other thing that kills me a cruise nights are the corvette guys. Or the neon light guy.
  8. What a great thread, good reading for the holiday morning. Ive got a couple that have stayed with me:

    Recently I was at a car show in Tucson looking at a 63 or 64 Mercury 4 door sedan. It was a nice original car that looked to have been well restored some time ago since it was showing some wear. The owner was some young dude who asked me if I liked his car, to which I said I did. He said he had recently purchased it with only 40 or 50,000 original miles ( I don't recall the number) and that a representative from Barrett Jackson drove from Phoenix to Tucson to look at and it and appraise it after hearing about it through the grapevine. He said the BJ rep showed him an appraisal sheet for over 100,000 dollars and it would take at least that for him to depart with the car. I usually bite my tongue when faced with overt ignorance but I did ask the little shit where the other 10 Mercury sedans were that must have been included in the appraisal. No response.

    The other one happened at a show in Arizona where a buddy was showing his 61 impala he brought from Tennessee (originally built out east) Just for kicks I threw a old California black plate on the car and some lard ass with a stretched goodguys shirt on tells his family that the Impala was an original California car, he can tell by looking at it. My friend says that his ding dong buddy ( me) threw the plate on to be a wiseass but the dude would not hear differently.

    This thread never gets old. Now back to the garage to dig out that 3/4 cam. Have a good 4th fellas.
  9. Stu D Baker
    Joined: Mar 4, 2005
    Posts: 2,754

    Stu D Baker
    from Illinois

    For the past 20 years, a neighbor of mine (who is very active in a local car club, doing judging, etc.) has called my '37 Ford Tudor a coupe. He always says, "youse got the nicest coupe eva". I've never had the heart to correct him, although I suppose I should "splain it" some day. Stu
  10. Hot Rod Rodney
    Joined: Jun 20, 2014
    Posts: 159

    Hot Rod Rodney
    from USA

    While these stories are entertaining, most go to prove only how sanctimonious and egotistical we car owners are. If you show your car to the public, you inevitably will get tall tales from the uninitiated. They are simply trying to find a common ground with you for conversation. Don't be a jerk; listen to them politely and without contradiction, and thank them for looking at your car.
    wraymen, trollst, olscrounger and 6 others like this.
  11. I respectfully disagree. It's not a reflection on us as car owners. There is a certain type of person whose self-worth is measured by how much they think they can impress people with their knowledge and experience. Of course, most of it is made up bullshit. Over the course of my life I have known a couple of these insecure, braggart, pain in the ass, liars.

    You're right though, you don't need to be a jerk, you don't need to contradict them (well, sometimes you do) but, a word of advice from someone who learned the hard way - you should disengage and leave the scene as soon as possible. Once they find out they have a willing listener, their tall tales will never end and the stories just get more and more bizarre over time. Listening to them only encourages them.

    I really think it's some kind of delusional mental disorder. I used to have a next door neighbor like that. I wish I had all the wasted hours and lost productivity back. Theoretically though, if you have the patience you could make a game out of it.. You could make up some really amazing story and then let them one-up you with their next story, then tell an even more "amazing" story to keep it going and see how strange it gets. I don't think I have the energy for that, but it could be an interesting study. :)
  12. Maybe not a real story, however...

    Guy comes up to the counter with a broken wheel stud, wants to buy a lug nut and stud. No problem, I get them. Then he wants to buy a stronger power tool to remove the other lug nuts. 12 volt powered. No go, I said. He then buys our biggest four-way and leaves. Comes back a bit later, wants three more studs and nuts. All broke trying to remove, he says.

    After a bit of back and forth, his claim is thus: In your house, he explains, nuts and bolts are 'righty-tighty - lefty loosey. But on your car, he says, it's the opposite.

    Speechless, I sell him the studs...

  13. Well, he's partially correct, if you are dealing with the lug nuts on the left side of an older Mopar.
  14. clem
    Joined: Dec 20, 2006
    Posts: 4,161


    Nice observation.
    Hot Rod Rodney likes this.
  15. Hot Rod Rodney
    Joined: Jun 20, 2014
    Posts: 159

    Hot Rod Rodney
    from USA

    LOL, you are probably right. Most of us outgrew the braggart stage by the time we were 15 years old. Others never have. Many will sucker me in by asking a seemingly innocent question about my car. But when they twist that into a conversation about their uncle's GTO with the 980 cubic inch big block, I know I'm screwed!

    Tolerating the public is just the cross we bear for having cool cars...
    NOPSI likes this.
  16. Gman0046
    Joined: Jul 24, 2005
    Posts: 6,256


    Hot Rod Rodney X 2. I've got a neighbor who fits the braggart description to a tee. Its to the point where I don't even talk to him anymore his bull shit is so deep. BTW he had a Corvette with a 3/4 Inch cam.
    Hot Rod Rodney likes this.
  17. Grahamsc
    Joined: May 13, 2014
    Posts: 466

    from Colorado

    When they get out of control I usually tell them.
    listen buddy we are all bull shiten each other but your bull shit has to be a little more believeable.
    With a smile.
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2014
  18. lonejacklarry
    Joined: Sep 11, 2013
    Posts: 1,496


    I have a 327-300 in my '55 Chevy. It has shiny polished aluminum Corvette valve covers.

    At a show just weeks ago, a guy and his world class girlfriend, both about 30, came wandering up to my car. While she was looking at the engine, I was looking at her short shorts--I got the better deal. Anyway, Mr. Know it all says:
    "Corvette engine, huh?" I say ,"no it just has Corvette valve covers. The engine is from a Chevelle". His reply is something to the effect that "every little bit helps you go faster". I don't know what to say but then the lovely lady catches me eyeballing her shorts and just smiles.

    Then the move of the day: The guy pulls the lady closer to the engine and has her lean over to point at the heads. Again, I get the better deal. He points to my double hump heads and says "If this car had double hump heads, it would go much faster". He was bent over with his finger on the front of the right side head!
  19. wsdad
    Joined: Dec 31, 2005
    Posts: 1,259


    From the, "Absurd" guy's point of view:

    As I learn more about old cars, I've made blunders worthy of this thread. I tried to ask my neighbor something but misidentified his car. He was kind enough to correct me without making me feel like a bigger idiot than I already knew I had been.

    I like and respect him for his knowledge and kindness. He's been a valuable source of education for me and seems to enjoy teaching.

    Other jackasses, who use their old car trivia to over-inflate their ego's, are simply avoided and ignored (or temporarily tolerated).
  20. lonejacklarry
    Joined: Sep 11, 2013
    Posts: 1,496


    Fair enough. Anyone can be wrong especially with anything old. My '37 Chevy coupe project looks much like a '38--the grill is the big difference. Now when a person says something like: Nice '38!".
    Me: No, but you're close-it's a '37.

    Here is the difference:
    Guy A: Oh. They look a lot alike; I guessed wrong. No sweat, I say
    Guy B: No, it is not a '37 because my uncle had one and it looked just like this. It is a '38!! You must not know your cars because I do and this is a '38!!

    There is a huge difference in making a mistake and making an ass out of yourself. I think it is socially acceptable to pick on the option B folks.
  21. seb fontana
    Joined: Sep 1, 2005
    Posts: 8,399

    seb fontana
    from ct

    I took my Crosley to a car show...An old fellow [older than me anyways] promptly told me that they can't be registered because they didn't have seat belts back then..I said it is registered and he told me it can't be...So I point to the plate on the back of the car and say it is registered..He says no, it can't be, doesn't have seat belts...I say well its got a plate..He says its off another car..I just had put the plate on; brand new vanity classic car plate and it has CROSLEY on it..
  22. OldColt
    Joined: Apr 7, 2013
    Posts: 504


    Well, mostly I was hanging out and running at dragstrips. Didn't go to a lot of car shows. The performance and allowed modifications were known by most everybody. It was all there for all to see with the cars classification and measured et's and speeds. What little "BS" there was, was in the understated directions like all BBC's were only 396's All. BBF's were only 390's. All small blocks were the low compression, low hp. Versions etc ... etc.
  23. It's not a sin to be wrong. The only time I've felt like an idiot is if I really stuck to my guns on something and then found out I was wrong. In any case it's simple to say, "I'm sorry, I was wrong about that."
  24. johnybsic
    Joined: Oct 8, 2009
    Posts: 612

    from las vegas

    it aint what you don't know that gets you into trouble. its what you know for sure, but just aint so -mark twain

    Posted using the Full Custom H.A.M.B. App!
  26. I was at a cruise one night where the city had shut down main street to allow for classic parking. I was looking at a nicely restored 442. There was a guy standing next to me with his son who was maybe 10 or 12. The dad was explaining that it's called a 442 because it has 4 wheels, 4 headlights, and 2 exhaust.
    I chuckled to myself and bit my tongue. 1 out of 3 ain't bad.

    I'm going to have to disagree with you there. Having something in view of the public doesn't make it an open invitation to have to listen to bold faced lies and stretched truths. I agree with you, don't be a jerk and be polite. But I'm not going to waste my time listening to half truths and whole lies just to make some guy feel good about himself.
    I'll give you an example.

    My buddy lives around the corner from a comic book store. I don't really know or read comic books at all, but I stop in every once in a while on my way to his place, because I'm fascinated by some of the cover art. Just neat to see the styles and designs.
    The guys in the shop are always polite and ask if I need a hand finding anything, but I don't take that as an open invitation to spout off stories on the history of Superman or boast about the rare 40s comic books that I have.
    If they're talking, I stop to listen (if it interests me). If I have a question, I ask. I don't just talk for the sake of filling the silence.

    Being educated or knowledgeable doesn't make one sanctimonious or egotistical.
  27. ken bogren
    Joined: Jul 6, 2010
    Posts: 1,056

    ken bogren

    Thank you!
    chryslerfan55 likes this.
  28. samurai mike
    Joined: Feb 24, 2009
    Posts: 547

    samurai mike

    still funny after all these years!
  29. J D Coop
    Joined: Nov 16, 2015
    Posts: 70

    J D Coop

    As I'm snapping this picture of this cool Cord convertible, the girl standing next to me say's, "Wow, I didn't know Honda was making cars back then."
  30. F-ONE
    Joined: Mar 27, 2008
    Posts: 3,271

    from Alabama

    I had an unpleasant encounter with an old man in a grocery store parking lot.

    The man told me that GMC never made a 54-55 truck with an automatic transmission. The thing is....get this, I was sitting in it talking to him out the window. When I told him they did in a respectful tactful manner, the man just went off.

    I was sitting in my 1955 1st Hydromatic 100 minding my own business when the fellow comes up and we start talking trucks. It was going well until I started talking about my truck.
    chryslerfan55 likes this.

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