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What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by DaveyJonez, Mar 5, 2009.

  1. Not a rant, just an observation. What does your, dubious, claim have to do with the subject of the thread?
     
  2. Difference between rants and observations is language. If you see the topic header Carl it says etc... thus makes it open to all comments based in funny, dubious, and just about anywhere.

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  3. Oh, that's funnier than shit. It sounds like she could have a future in politics.
     
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  4. Rusty O'Toole
    Joined: Sep 17, 2006
    Posts: 9,493

    Rusty O'Toole
    Member

    There have been a lot of changes since the sixties. If you showed up at the drags with the hottest car of 1968 today you wouldn't stand a chance.

    The straight axle and high stance certainly did louse up handling but, it was the way to get traction on the 7" slicks that were all that was available back then. When the tire companies made better tires the cars quickly came down and now they hug the ground.
     
  5. pressuredrop
    Joined: Feb 12, 2009
    Posts: 60

    pressuredrop
    Member
    from mesa AZ

    The biggest bunchof bull I ever heard was from a buddy telling me that he was writing his name with burn outs when he was stopped by the cops. The cops were so impressed by his little roadster that they wanted to race him. So of course he lined up with them and let them take the lead, when he got up close to 100 mph he dropped it in 3rd and smoked em!:confused:

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  6. Ulu
    Joined: Feb 26, 2014
    Posts: 1,767

    Ulu
    Member
    from CenCal

    Funny, but I remember doing that back when I worked at an equipment rental company. People would call, and just from what they asked for we knew they were ignorant/dangerous/idiots who we didn't want to rent our machine to.

    But some people got nasty if you wouldn't rent to them. One guy wanted to rent a skiploader and told me he could tow it with his Jeep. I told him he should rent a real truck to tow it with, but already I know he's a dolt & didn't want to rent him a truck either. He got rude and asked me to find him one small enough to tow with a Jeep. We probably kept him on hold 15 minutes.

    I could have rented him a baby Kubota, but I didn't want it to come back trashed, and even though we had great insurance, rude people on the phone get the hold button.

    But back on topic? My ex neighbor told me his '62 Chevy pickup had a roller bearing crank.
    Maybe he had a roller cam & didn't know the difference? I dunno, but a setup like that would cost more than everything he owned put together.
     
  7. was at a benefit car show last month. had my 37 Plymouth
    as the judges were coming around ( THE MUSTANG CLUB ) one guy said do I have to judge this cross breed car
    I would not let them judge it said display only
    IMG_0190 (640x480).jpg
     
  8. mustangdug
    Joined: Nov 29, 2007
    Posts: 102

    mustangdug
    Member

    Ok I gotta throw in a couple,

    Always like the guys with the high end ($$$$) rods that say, "This is a no expense spared car" then you look at the motor and its a 350/350 combo in a Ford. So I ask why didn't you put a Ford in it and Hear "Ahh Fords are too expensive to build"

    Sitting at a bar one night this guy starts telling me that he's an engine builder. Oh yea be builds Stroker motors. I say really what kind of stroker motors?
    Guy says, 383's.
    Oh really? SO I listen to him for a while and the BS meter is about to peg so I ask, What stroke crank do you use in a 383 stroker motor?
    Guy says, Depends on the bore.
    Ok what bore do you use on a stroker motor.
    Guy says well it depends on much the block needs bored.
    So I tell the guy straight to his face hes full of shit and ask what the main journal size is on a 350 Chevy.
    He cant tell me, I ask what the Rod journal size, he cant tell me, SO I say you say you been building stroker motors for years but don't know the dimensions of one?
    He says your an asshole and I say your a drunk liar. Then I tell him I don't know shit about Chevy motors so he could have made up any numbers close and I couldn't have disputed them as I build Ford motors and there's the door you should use it!

    next one, I was driving my '40 Ford PU to a Boy Scout Pinewood derby meet and as we park and get out, one of the other scouts granddad walks and give it the once over. This guy is a braggart about everything. He say's cool truck I had a '48 just like it but mine was all restored. I said thats cool but this one's a '40, no that's just like my '48, I say well i got the title to prove it. His grandson is standing next him giving me the look like why you arguing with my gran-dad for, I just say ok.

    Lastly, I got my '29 Coupe in the avitar at a 4th of July show to promote a street cruise in a couple weeks. Got all kinds of funny comments but the best was the backwards hatted greasy anorexic guy and his "chunky" GF that comes and says" My Dad had a '32 roadster just like this, blown BBC Turbo350, NICE CAR!" Mine got a 460 Ford and Toploader.
     
  9. I like the "12 volt diff"........... maybe I should ask next time A.C. or D.C.?.
     
  10. sunbeam
    Joined: Oct 22, 2010
    Posts: 5,190

    sunbeam
    Member

    He must have have been a really big guy to stand on the rear bumper and get the front wheels off the ground.
     
  11. The episode of Pass Time that had Shaky Puddin on it,Ken Herring remarked that straight axle gassers wouldn't handle. Shaky then proceeded to wheelie straight down the track in like 8 or 9 seconds. Looks like Herring don't know jack.
     
  12. sunbeam
    Joined: Oct 22, 2010
    Posts: 5,190

    sunbeam
    Member

    I got a 67 small journal 350 chevy crank.
     
  13. KRB52
    Joined: Jul 9, 2011
    Posts: 1,026

    KRB52
    Member
    from Conneticut

    Tell him, "yeah, I got just what you need." Then when he shows up, rent him a shovel and wheel barrow.
     
  14. Ulu
    Joined: Feb 26, 2014
    Posts: 1,767

    Ulu
    Member
    from CenCal

    A shovel?

    I'd been afraid he'd have hurt himself and sued us. :D

    But with that skiploader he'd have hurt others. :(

    You wouldn't want to see a skiploader pushing a Jeep down the freeway ramp, with the Jeep laying on it's side...
     
  15. Mat Thrasher
    Joined: Nov 5, 2007
    Posts: 1,166

    Mat Thrasher
    Member

    Let me first say. I'm always nice to people when they ask me questions about my truck. Even if the questioms seem silly to me.

    Anyways I had one a couple weeks ago. A guy starts talking to me telling me how much he likes my truck. He's asking a bunch of questions. Then he asks what's the motor a 351? I say no its a 582 big block Chevy. Then I get the "ah man you put a Chevy in a Ford." So I replied you can't be that much of a Ford man. If you don't know what side of the motor the distributor is on a Ford!

    He made a couple of excuses then , just kinda wandered away after that.

    Another one was I had an old man probably in his late 70's arguing with me why my 34 Ford Pickup didn't have suicide doors like it stock.

    I told him a couple of times politely that the 33-34 cars were suicide but trucks weren't. Seeing that I wasn't going to convince him I dropped it. Them my dad who's standing there listening says "he built the thing I think he knows which way the damn doors are supposed to open.


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  16. The distributor isn't on either side. It's in front:p
     
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  17. arkiehotrods
    Joined: Mar 9, 2006
    Posts: 6,346

    arkiehotrods
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    Herring said it would run 9.80. It ran a 9.83 and Herring won the round. The other two contestants predicted 8.90 and 9.90. So I guess he does know jack.
     
  18. Mat Thrasher
    Joined: Nov 5, 2007
    Posts: 1,166

    Mat Thrasher
    Member

    Not the right side, left side, back side but the front side!


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  19. Ulu
    Joined: Feb 26, 2014
    Posts: 1,767

    Ulu
    Member
    from CenCal

    How many sides has a Ford got?
     
  20. stimpy
    Joined: Apr 16, 2006
    Posts: 3,547

    stimpy

    depends how far and fast you roll it out of the back of your truck .
     
  21. just 2. the inside and the outside.
     
  22. 49ratfink
    Joined: Feb 8, 2004
    Posts: 18,036

    49ratfink
    Member
    from California

    worked with an old blowhard who was always the best at everything, no matter what you were talking about, he had one bigger and better. so he's telling his tall tale about his 383 Charger that did 170 MPH down hiway 5 here in California back when they were new-ish. after he was done with his story I had to ask why he didn't buy a Hemi if he wanted to go fast... he replied that the Hemi's were only good for Drag racing a quarter mile at a time. I replied "Guess you have never heard of Richard Petty or Nascar".
     
  23. DIXON
    Joined: Jul 29, 2008
    Posts: 131

    DIXON
    Member

    "My reaction time sucked, that's why my e.t. was slow"

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  24. Ulu
    Joined: Feb 26, 2014
    Posts: 1,767

    Ulu
    Member
    from CenCal

    Coincidentally, with that data alone, I can locate the distributor on any vehicle that sports one.
     
  25. woodbutcher
    Joined: Apr 25, 2012
    Posts: 3,236

    woodbutcher
    Member

    :rolleyes:Actually,most any engine has six sides.Top,bottom,left,right,front,back.:p
    Good luck.Have fun.Be safe.
    Leo
     
  26. wrench409
    Joined: Oct 16, 2006
    Posts: 372

    wrench409
    Member Emeritus
    from Here

    Ford always put the distributor on the end of the engine.

    :D
     
  27. stimpy
    Joined: Apr 16, 2006
    Posts: 3,547

    stimpy

    not on there six cylinders they did n't right smack in the middle .... on the side of course ..
     
  28. 1great40
    Joined: Jan 1, 2008
    Posts: 466

    1great40
    Member
    from Walpole MA

    I was at a show and overheard a guy telling a kid that the pulleys on the heads of a Ford flattie were for driving the cams and that flatheads were overhead cam engines.
     
  29. 32CDAN
    Joined: Mar 22, 2014
    Posts: 6

    32CDAN
    Member

    Careful who you call a "moron"....In many jurisdictions fenders are in fact required and a ticket will be issued.
     
  30. 32SEDAN
    Joined: Jul 30, 2008
    Posts: 1,295

    32SEDAN
    Member

    Good point. I should delete that post from 5 years ago.


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    rustynewyorker likes this.

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