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What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by DaveyJonez, Mar 5, 2009.

  1. maxwdg
    Joined: Jun 20, 2006
    Posts: 16


    I pulled an metal emblem off a Dodge "Ramcharger" truck in the early 1990s and placed it on the rear panel of my 1962 Dodge Dart. I have heard at least a half dozen fathers tell their sons, while looking at my car. "That there is an original RAMCHARGER son! They were cars like this one before they were trucks..." Heh! I just smile and chuckle to myself.
  2. Mr48chev
    Joined: Dec 28, 2007
    Posts: 31,011


    We don't do no quarter miles back home we run three light poles. The answer I got when I asked a customer what his car that he thought was pretty quick did in the quarter. That was after I explained what the "quarter" was.
  3. johnybsic
    Joined: Oct 8, 2009
    Posts: 612

    from las vegas

    This confuses me too, I think the younger guys (of my age) just like to hash the question around, It's just a nomenclature people used to use to describe a "hot" deal, but not a full nasty race only cam back in the day. The same as "RV" cam, Yea i know you didn't go get a cam out of a winnebago, its just like "Hey i wanted more torque, but i don't wanna get into the full specs". The term "Fully built" is the one that really pisses me off...It's normally a dude telling me about is buddys super sick blah blah blah 350, or stroker or whatever... Yawn.
  4. CadMad
    Joined: Oct 20, 2012
    Posts: 860


    I was hanging out down the street waiting to get fish and chips in my black 57 Eldorado Biarritz and a guy comes up and says his dad has one just like it. I said " A 57 Cadillac?". He says yeah, "Dad's is a Humber Supersnipe though". . . almost.
  5. dodgeball
    Joined: Jan 18, 2012
    Posts: 29


    I was at a car show, admiring a tidy old '38 Buick with a straight 8. Standing next to me was a guy and his young son. The son asks his Dad, "Dad....what sort of engine is that?". The father says "it's a V8, son". "How do you know, Dad?" asks the son. "Easy Son, you just count the spark plug leads, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8".
  6. jt306
    Joined: Mar 7, 2008
    Posts: 56


    "Its got a 3/4 race cam" makes me want to smack someone. I hate every Joe dirt duchbag that claims that. My response is usually " whats the matter you couldn't afford the whole cam"

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  7. porky55
    Joined: Aug 23, 2013
    Posts: 269


    Dodge didn't make a 270, they only made 426 hemis.

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  8. ratwasp
    Joined: Oct 3, 2013
    Posts: 74


    "Nothin beats a Mopar buddy" he grabs another Budweiser out of the trunk of his friend's Duster.
  9. Saxxon
    Joined: Dec 14, 2008
    Posts: 1,825


    Not a claim but more of a deception... I was into v8 vegas back in the 80's and I was trying to sell one that had not yet been converted. Couldn't get a bite on it. On a whim I slapped a couple of v8 emblems on the quater panel. A couple of youngs guys came buy and swapped a few comments about the "Holy crap that's "factory" v8 vega...gotta be rare...My uncle's ex-roomate's dad used to have one ... It'll be out of my price range... etc.

    I wandered over, never commented on the athenticity but did offer to sell it complete with core 283 a swap kit and headers. Closed the deal.

    Jump ahead 15 years - met the same guy at a cruise night. He actually remembered me and came over to say hello. We had a good laugh about the event, especially the part where his Dad chewed him out for being duped. Then he brought me over to show me he still had the car. He had swapped in a 350 complete with factory stickers to look like a 327 and he had done everything he could to make it look like a factory swap... right doen to the ram horn manifolds and factory GT interior ... well done !!
  10. tomnt
    Joined: Nov 3, 2006
    Posts: 3


    I've had Rancheros for the past forty years.
    Them, Nice El Camino
    Me, Where? (now I just say thank you)
    Them, What engine?
    Me, Cleveland.
    Them, 351?
    Me, Duh? (now I just say 351 Cleveland)

    Have a shower curtain rod in the bed to secure light loads.
    I have been asked a number of times if the strut tower brace made a difference.
  11. fairlaneranch
    Joined: Aug 18, 2005
    Posts: 36


    when I was 17 I had a 68 Fairlane 500 fastback. I remember one night my girlfriends drunk ass Dad telling me that I put a Barracuda roof on my car. He was quite adamant about it too as he didnt/wouldnt believe me! What a friggin idiot! That car was kind of odd in that it was a bench seat 390 4-speed car (s code to boot) with a 3:00 open rear. I wish I still had it.I built another 68 Fairlane years later but this one was a 200 six powered coupe. I dropped in a mild 460/C-6 with a 3:70 rear and it was my daily driver for 11 years. I had a guy looking at it in a bars parking lot one night and he asked me to pop the hood. He takes a look and says Ive never seen a blue 350 before,Thats different!o_O Thats the curse of driving a non-Chevy.
  12. JunkYardGuy
    Joined: Sep 6, 2009
    Posts: 82


    Worked with a guy once that told everybody he owned the Stone, Woods and Cook Willys at one time.
  13. Here's one; the guys on the HAMB that think the 3/4 cam is a joke. Ever heard of Ed Winfield? Yeah, he invented it.
    cretin likes this.
  14. Y
    Yeah, but the problem is, those terms died out over 50 years ago. Does your lady wear earbobs or a shirtwaist?
  15. CRFyou
    Joined: Jul 13, 2009
    Posts: 89


    There's lots of people that feel compelled to become an expert on your ride. I really don't understand what leads people to be so bold about stuff they're definitely not an expert in.

    In the last 2 months. A father came up to me working on my '35 ford coupe in my driveway. He starts telling his son that it's a hot rod. And since it's a '32 it's also called a "deuce". I didn't correct him or even make a face. I've heard some really weird shit about my old bikes and cars.

    Also, a man came up to me when I was leaving the liquor store in my '50 coupe(mild, super mild custom). He said, "Nice '51!" I said,"thanks, but it's a '50."

    Usually people let it go at this point, but he replied,"I used to work on these, it's a '51."

    That got me a little pissed because he said it like I was a dumb cunt. So I reply,"Dude. The grille is stock, the dash is stock, and the cowl tells me when and where it was made."

    He didn't say anything after that which also pissed me off. Eat your feedback, asshole!
  16. What was his first name? The guy that owns the Swindler "B" Stone Woods and Cook car is a friend of mine and he used to live in New Jersey a few years ago.
  17. chop777
    Joined: Feb 3, 2014
    Posts: 138


    The one that gets me the most....
    Is when someone at a car show is telling the owner of a particular car what he would do to it to make it cooler if it was his...

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  18. What I get REALLY SICK OF, is when guys ask me if my Model A, 60s Drag car, with its obviously real patina ,and real 30 steel, IS A KIT CAR!! Then they look at the blower engine and ask, HOW MANY MILES TO THE GALLON DOES IT GET? I always tell them THE CAR GETS ZERO MILES TO THE GALLON! LOL.
  19. Dave Labs
    Joined: Feb 22, 2011
    Posts: 24

    Dave Labs
    from Wisconsin

    I once had some idiot tell me he made the first 9 second run in 1970, in a stock Camaro at Union Grove. I asked him if he knew Bill Jenkins. He said he never heard him.
  20. jt306
    Joined: Mar 7, 2008
    Posts: 56


    Ok I wasn't debating the existence of the 3/4 cam I know it was produced. But every car that has a choppy cam does not have one. I just a generic response most idiots give when they are uneducated about motors.

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  21. wrench409
    Joined: Oct 16, 2006
    Posts: 372

    Member Emeritus
    from Here

    I built a V8 Vega, not as a hot rod but a daily driver for the wife. I used all Monza V8 parts to drop in a 307 and a turbo 350 trans. I modified the A/C evaporator housing to clear the right head and exhaust so she would have factory air. It was fun to drive too.
  22. I like to mess with parts guys at the nearby auto parts stores sometimes. I call asking for a metric adjustable wrench and see how long it takes for them to get back to me... longest wait was 15 mins and he said they could probably order it for me.. Some people are clueless.

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  23. Dan Timberlake
    Joined: Apr 28, 2010
    Posts: 1,376

    Dan Timberlake

    There are several threads over on Speedtalk about folks building turbo'd motors with not much less compression on street gas. I am skeptical.
  24. local guy with mild 289 in a mustang tells how it will carry the wheels in all 4 gears .. hi tomnt ,I know the frustration of explaining engine cid , eg one guy told me that because a 460 is a big block that makes a 390 a medium block , but to throw a wrench in the works ,in australia ford offered the clevland in 302 and 351 and chrysler offered what they called a hemi 6 cyl
  25. chop777
    Joined: Feb 3, 2014
    Posts: 138


    Leon sounds like you're calling the auto zone up the street from me.they always have to order everything.....I've got metric adjustable wrenches in Stock right next to the left handed screwdrivers....;)

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  26. This sort of reply seems to come up every time these sorts of threads come up. Why would anyone admit to, or lie about, (more likely) pranking the auto parts guys? What are you, 10 years old or what? Do you also call and ask for Prince Albert in a can or ask if their refrigerator is running? Did it ever occur to you that, maybe, they said, "We've got a real dildo here. Let's see how long he will sit on hold." That's assuming it really happened, which is unlikely
    1946caddy, cretin and Gary Reynolds like this.
  27. Eh Carl... find something better to do than rant on what other have said.

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  28. I like the guy at a little car show in Delaware, Ohio who told me the 454 in his 60 impala ss was original to the car.

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  29. 'Mo
    Joined: Sep 26, 2007
    Posts: 7,431


    This is long, but rich....

    There was a '41 Continental at a local show. Orange. "Cindarella's Coach" lettered on the side . Tri-color orange shag carpet (I'm dating myself here), Chevy V8 with 6 leaky 94's. I ask the attendant (a pubescent road Gypsy) if it's fast, and she replies "It will do 200!"

    She seems to relent, as she adds, "That's what the speedometer said." I assume she is responding to my incredulous reaction, until she adds: "It's broken three speedometers already!"

    She goes on to tell me that there were only 3 ever made, but within a few sentences, that number had dropped to only two. Sensing my fascination, she continues with "The other one was blown up filming the movie "The God Father".

    She is as obviously enjoying these embellishments as I am in hearing them, and distills her tale to,
    "This is the only one ever made. It was built for the 'president' of Reynold's Metals, and hammered out of a single piece of aluminum." Mind you, all this from a road seasoned, 12 year old girl.

    I expect I'll never hear a more engaging automotive discourse.
    Leon Sandcastle likes this.
  30. superprojoe
    Joined: Feb 4, 2010
    Posts: 352

    from Illinois

    A drag racer that is well known around these parts asked me why i wanted to build a straight axle gasser...."he said they dont handle good at all and cant go very fast with a straight axle"......was he blind all those years he raced back in the day???

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