The Jalopy Journal
Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by DaveyJonez, Mar 5, 2009.
anything a NEW Corvette owner would say
I had a 66 Imperial Crown Coupe... It was always I had one just like, but with a Hemi/4spd. I heard it 6 times when the power tour came through town. LOL
How much will you take for it right now, cash?
I've got a (insert other interesting car) I'll trade ya for it!
I hear those two almost daily. My cash number has gone up to $10,000 since I did the suspension/brakes. It used to be $5000.
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A guy came by my shop to show off some terrible air brushing on his big block Chevy powered dragster. After hearing all about it, I asked him what size camshaft it had. He replied ------" Its the biggest that they make!!
I just said that it must be fast.
Nice intro. You're surprised you got lied to by a mini trucker?
Must have been an RV cam.
I was at a local Ford dealers annual Mustang/Shelby show last weekend, there was a late model V6 Mustang there with "Boss 227" on the side in huge vinyl lettering. It had a supercharger and some other stuff on it, along with slicks and drag racing wheels. He had a big fancy car show display board listing all the mods, including the "fact" that his V6 made 1200 Horsepower!! Naturally he had no ET slips, and although I am racing at our local track regularily, I have never seen this Mustang anywhere other than this show.
Ya , My 454 chevelle (sorry O/T) will do that ,0-120 in three telephone poles , too! It has tall rear gears , But, No one mentioned , the three poles had to be consecutive.
At the gas station one day, guy rolls up. Is that a 55 Chev? Nope 51 Ford (sedan). Really? Looks like a 55 Chev. Ummmm OK.
At the gas station filling up my 67 Malibu. Guy walks up, I had one just like this in high school mine was an R/T though bet you wish this was an R/T. Ummmm OK.
Riding around with a buddy one night in his 67 El camino, stopped for smokes, some guy walks up and starts telling us about his brothers El camino, " the only shitty thing about that car is every time we drove it into town we'd have to take the wheelie bars off, you know because wheelie bars are illegal in this town" Ummmm OK.
had made a trade for my rebuilt small block 350 for a 454 rebuilt motor , this dumbass didnt realize you can see the valves with the exhaust manifolds off , basically a painted over runner...
"A 1988 Volkswagen Camper Special with the tents set up "is" a hot rod, now shut up and park next to it."
Not!!!!! See Ya!!!!
Know how to tell if somebody is lying? Their lips are moving.
"My Nova's motor came out of Darrell Waltrips race car"
People shook their head, Absurd claim ... right?
I knew this guy quite well, and in this case, it was actually true. He worked as an engine machinist at the custom speed shop that built Darrell's SBC engines for awhile when Darrell raced mostly at Nashville, Tn. They had several motors for Darrell's car, and they were cycled in and out, and refreshed as needed. He bought one of those engines, and freshened it up for his street car. Yes, it ran strong for awhile, but the stiff valve springs gave out in about 1000 miles, and it developed a pinhole leak in one of the heads that had been ported out a bit too far. He put a milder engine in after that.
--- Steve ---
Not sure why, but my '30 Tudor is always a Model T or a '32 or a "roadster".
Normally dont care but this one a-hole really burned me up at a hardware store of all places. Typical scene, come out and he's staring at the engine.
AH: Nice Model T
AH: Several stupid questions involving fiberglass (fast forward to end)
AH: What engine?
Me: (A little embarrassed) Just a stock Ford 351 out of an old Mecury
AH: with a smirk - so you think it's a Ford huh?
Me: Yes I pulled it out myself
AH: That's a 350 Chevy! You can tell b/c the distributor is in the front!! with a look on his face like "you dumbass!!"
This went on for some time. This is exactly why I do not ever go to car shows. I get enough of this just around my neighborhood.
This is an absolute true story! My friend of 60 plus years and I found and bought a 1941 willys americar in Illinois in 1969 for as I remember 150.00. He kept it in his dads garage for the next years. It had a pristine body, original glass, bumpers, interior and still had the original 4 popper engine. I got drafted in 1971 and went into the army. When I got home I went to see him right away, and noticed the willys was gone. I asked him what had happened to it and he replied "I needed a backseat for my Camaro so i traded it for the backseat I needed." WOW!!!
Hey Lou! Did ya forget something ? New to the H.A.M.B.? Introduce yourself here!
Can't remember if I commented on this thread. Here's one no one has ever heard.
"Yea I built it all myself. Everything from the engine, paint, and interior."
I had a guy swear he still had his first 50¢ piece. hell, he even married her!
I've heard that when we lie, it turns down our own internal lie detectors. We all tend to think everyone else thinks like we do. So when our lie detectors finally stop working altogether, we think no one else's does either. "You can't con a con" is something cons love to say.
I was at the local tavern. When an old farmer asked about the old ford outside. I asked him if he meant my International. He said no the Ford. I told him well the old black truck outside is mine and it's an International. He told me I was just a young punk and didn't know what I was talking about. I just smiled and nodded my head.
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I don't know how absurb the statements are, but I just bought a Corvette and everyone insists to share with me, the facts, that certaint parts of it are not factory correct.
It seems that everybody knows something and they feel that must impress me with their knowledge.
This has not happened with any other car that I own.
Any v-6 cam would be 3/4 so I can say I have seen one!
My neighbor told me that back in the day he had a Corvette with a 3/4 inch cam in it.
Years ago, I had an old guy at a gas station tell me that "you don't deserve that truck". At the time, my truck was a barely running basket case. I just laughed...
A side note: my truck seems to be a magnet for people who like to sit on the fenders and open doors ect. as they are telling someone else all about it. While my truck isn't some 100k show ride, it just ticks me off.
very typical reaction to seeing my 1972 ford cortina mk 3 over here in spain is .."wow love the mustang", but the tow truck driver took it to a whole new level the other day saying that his cousin (or whatever!) "had one of the first mustangs, ever, you know the ones that were built in the 40´s!"
obviously ford were selling prototype versions over in spain far before the US.!!
I just nodded and signed the piece of paper, so he could get on his way
The 3/4 cam thing has been explained on the HAMB so many times. At least twice on this thread. And still youngsters become confused. I'm not going to explain it again. I guess it's a generational deal.
I recall a guy telling some younger guys all about his 426 hemi with a blower and 12&1/2 pop up pistons with a blower,and yes a 3/4 race cam,I had to do it, I asked him what happened to the other 1/4 of the cam, all I got was a blank stare ! ( Go figure) I am sure we have all heard that one or something close to it.
The blower and 12.5 pistons should have been the first clue. Still lots and lots of 3/4 cams were sold and installed.
I was joking as 6 is 3/4 of 8. But as I will be 60 in 2 weeks thanks for the
youngster, I am old enough to remember when a 3/4 cam was common terminology, as well as 30-30 and Duntov cams.
I had a bloke tell me that his factory standard 2 ltr fuel inject 4door sedan would blow the doors of my 340hp 4spd t roadster.
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