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What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by DaveyJonez, Mar 5, 2009.

  1. ironpile
    Joined: Jul 3, 2005
    Posts: 915


    Dont you think they just made a mistake......what.They meant to say it is a Vette color by Krylon?:rolleyes:
  2. elba
    Joined: Feb 9, 2013
    Posts: 623


    The fins on a 59 Chevy would lift the back end in the air if you go real fast !!!!! LOL
  3. ironpile
    Joined: Jul 3, 2005
    Posts: 915


    Can you imagine thehairbrained lies if all the claimants got together and tried to outdo one another.Pull up your pants it`s to late to save your shoes.:D
  4. tfeverfred
    Joined: Nov 11, 2006
    Posts: 15,792


    This threads about OTHER people who lied.:D
  5. Thumper
    Joined: Mar 7, 2005
    Posts: 1,610


    One guy at a cruise one night was telling me about the Chief of Police back home, was telling me that the Chief's car... a 58 chevy had a 409 that had been bored and stroked 3 times....had full tube headers.(not the half tube)..and a Woodpecker Cam....and that if I seen a police car with a Woody Woodpecker decal on the window...don't even try to outrun him. :eek:
  6. jer11ren
    Joined: Mar 8, 2010
    Posts: 113


    We were at a show and my wife grabbed my arm to stop me so she could finish hearing what all of the guys were saying.... "Well, you know if you ever find a girl that likes cars she is normally a he/she.....yeah, mine just puts up with it....yeah, mine left and took it all, except the kids beds..." She loves to remind me of that since she has over 100 hours helping block sand and prep for paint on our car we built together...and she's even a hottie! (though when things get "cozy" I always ask "are you sure you aren't a he/she since you like cars?) and she laughs hysterically! She is actually more judgemental than me over cars....says any boy that drives a Honda probably doesn't have a clue how to satisfy a woman....sad part is, I probably made her that way, been together for 25 years!
  7. jaymann
    Joined: Nov 29, 2010
    Posts: 54


    I just got through reading all 64 pages in this thread and I'm completely amazed that y'all have met my brother!
  8. abad68camaro
    Joined: Jul 6, 2013
    Posts: 1

    from new jersey

    I have 68 camaro, almost every car show I go to I have some one come up to me and argue with me about how ''you bought this car of my buddy!"
    No, I am pretty sure I didn't!
    No, this is definetly his car. He just sold it a few months ago!
    OK, well I have owned this car 16 years!
    Oh, are you sure? It looks just like his!
    Yeah I'm pretty sure!

    I guess they only made a few small block camaros with cowl hoods and fat tires! Honest mistake! Lol

    And once had a guy tell me he had a 69 429 mustang that ran 9's, all stock on the street tires! Conversation was pretty much over after that! Lol
  9. Well they kind of do all look the same... :rolleyes:
  10. terryr
    Joined: Feb 8, 2007
    Posts: 286

    from earth

    ..."I know all about cars"...
  11. BillSchmid
    Joined: Jul 21, 2012
    Posts: 96

    from Ohio

    I've got a few. Two surrounding my OT 74 nova and I'll save another post for the people I used to work with.

    So for the nova stories...

    I had the car at the drive in this past March. During the intermission a guy comes up with his two kids and asks if I can turn on the dome light so he can see inside. "Ok." So he looks around and goes "Ohh, man! My old car!"
    He then goes on to tell me about how he bought the car int he 80s a few towns over and how the motor was built and would shake, but his friend rebuilt the carb with woodscrews and one fell through the intake and screwed everything up. A little bullshitting later he walks off. The funniest part (besides the fact that my car spent most of its life more than a thousand miles away from ohio) was that he couldn't believe the interior was the same as when he sold it. A month before the dash had a crappy head unit installed and I had replaced it with with an uncut one with a factory radio and mounted a motorola fm 8-track under the dash and old craig speakers in the kickpanels.

    To think those kids with him probably thought their dad was really something too :rolleyes:

    The next story is a short one, but at a car show a man and his girlfriend were looking at my car and he tells her "It's a 69 or 70 Ventura. You can tell by the front end." Guess he didn't take a good enough look at the front end to see the bowtie in the center of the grill or the "nova" emblem on the hood.
  12. BillSchmid
    Joined: Jul 21, 2012
    Posts: 96

    from Ohio

    Alright, now for the coworkers.

    At the pizza place I used to work full time we had a delivery driver who would have a story to go with every conversation he listened into. Once he discovered that my boss and I were into cars we got to hear about all his street racing tales and how he used to have a grand marquis like our waitress, except his was a 9 second car. When asked what all was done to it, his answer was "It had a LOT of aftermarket".

    He later went on a delivery and had a blowout in his pos 4x4 ranger. He ended up driving about 10 miles back with the flat...on aluminum rims of all things. He got fired after asking to borrow my boss's jeep.

    The next guy was pretty much a clone of the previous one except older by about six years. Always had this or that stashed away but you never got to see it. If a coworker were to mention, say, a 96 acura integra, he had one that would smoke most big blocks. Every car he had had four inch exhaust. There was a 69 chevelle he always liked to talk about. Was a work in progress that he ran out of money on, had a 502 with dart heads, lunati cam, yada yada yada. Told me when he got it it still ran good with the original 289.

    The only two cars we saw him in were his mom's geo metro and his girlfriend's grand am. He was never the one driving either.
  13. I cant confirm this one as told to me just recently but if it is a true story........:rolleyes:....

    A young guy, in his early 20s was talking about the great performance he had in his VL Commodore. It was a typical 80s 'Hoon' car, lowered, mags and a fiberglass body kit.

    He was saying that his father had given him the power plant, a 3/4 race engine(Huh?) from his racing car. Of course this was supposed to be a Group A Touring Car with a genuine Holder Dealer Team built motor.
    He went on to describe how it was a 'full' race motor when his father first built it but unfortunately he over revved it while racing and 'blew up a 1/4 of it' so that is why he got the engine.
    He admitted that 'It's still a little to powerfull' for him but that is how he runs it now!!:eek:

  14. Had the Scout at the Snap-On travelling customer appreciation display. As usual there were an assortment of claims and stories.

    My Buddy had a 72 Maverick with a 302 / 4 speed. We swapped out the smog motor for a Hi Po 289 that was factory "stock". He could pull the wheels in the first 2 gears.

    My (Dad, Uncle, Friend) had one of these (Scout 80) with a factory (Hemi, 345, sbc)

    I have a 78 Chevelle with a 454 that makes 850 hp and runs 9s. (This guy is wearing a Canadian Tire Service tech shirt) Yah it's got a factory cam and factory blue printed carb. It's all special order from the factory race team.

    (30 ish guy) My Dad built this Scout
    (Me) Oh... your dad is Jim Pratt ?? I would love to meet him.
    (30 ish) No... This Jim guy didn't build it, my Dad did. I helped him build it in the garage.
    I take the guy to the back of the Scout and show him a display with a copy of the 73 Hot Rod feature
    (30 ish) That's not the same truck
    I show him the same parts and build features such as the interior tin work
    (30 ish) Not the same truck. I'll bring pictures and show you.
    (Me) Awesome, bring your dad I would love to meet him
    Still waiting...

    Here's the best one: There are multiple whoppers here

    Another 30ish guy tells me he built the Scout 6 years ago but he built it with NOZZ. I was tired and sunburned so I just nodded and walked away from the guy - but he actually followed telling me about the NOZZ and how he heated the bottle with a blow torch. His buddy with a NOZZ injected Malibu was heating a bottle when it blew up and totalled the car and the truck and leveled his garage. He sold the Scout to pay build a new garage cuz insurance doesn't cover NOZZ explosions. That's when I must have bought it. I showed him my build book with pictures as I found the Scout. It was clearly not blast damage. The guy told me to go F*** myself and walked away. 20 minutes later he's back and now he's telling me that he used to work for Orange County Choppers and he build the Snap-On OCC built chopper on display. (Funny, don't recall seeing you on the show) He tells me that he wasn't on the show cuz they couldn't come to financial terms but he was the best builder so they only made it look like Paul (Jr) did any work. Then it gets weird... now he's telling me that he was the crew chief on the Cruz Pendregon funny car (also on display) and when they needed a win then he did the driving. But because Cruz was black (Hispanic actually) and had the contracts... they made it look like Cruz was driving and then did the interviews. I stop him here and pretty much tell him point blank that he's completely full of sh** and a liar and this is likely the closest he's ever come to a Funny car. The guy tells me to go F*** myself (again) and wanders off.
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2013
  15. icsamerica
    Joined: May 23, 2012
    Posts: 62


    I was visiting a Church and the pastor and I started talking cars. He told me about the VW Beatle his friend helped him build. He told me they put in a big block and a powerglide in it and it ran 9's... (plausable), he went on to say once they hit 3rd gear the car really took off. (bullshit from a pastor, on Sunday at Church 10 minutes after he baptized a baby into the kingdom of god...priceless)
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2013
  16. pwschuh
    Joined: Oct 27, 2008
    Posts: 2,383


    Makes complete sense to me. "Full race motor" with 2 cylinders blown ("1/4 of it") is now a 6 cylinder "3/4 race motor." :rolleyes:
  17. Rusty O'Toole
    Joined: Sep 17, 2006
    Posts: 9,475

    Rusty O'Toole

    Ha ha ha reminds me of a story Mark Twain told, I think it was in Huckleberry Finn.

    He went to a talk on Egypt held at the local church. The speaker described the Pyramids and how they found the mummified body of a king 4500 years old.

    Tom said he thought he was stretching the truth about the 4500 year old king. Even Methuselah wasn't that old. If he hadn't been told it by a preacher in church he would have been sure it was a lie.
  18. Boon BA
    Joined: Jan 12, 2012
    Posts: 84

    Boon BA

    Sold my 66 fastback Mustang (ouch) in high school to a ford dealer's part manager. Everything was done except a little engine work and paint. Saw the car and his kid at a cruise night telling everyone the car was a basket case and he did all the work himself. I couldn't resist telling him that's BS. He says how would you know. I said " cause I sold the car to your daddy".

    I feel bad for doing that.... A little...

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  19. flatheadz-forever
    Joined: Jun 16, 2011
    Posts: 501

    from new jersey

    I have heard those ford lightnings run 9's STOCK!
  20. Why does everything run 9s? Never 10s, nor 8s. Always "9s."
  21. Beecher
    Joined: Jan 28, 2004
    Posts: 159


    OT, but everyone always assumes my lotus (08 Exige s240) is a kit car. Course I get WAY more stupid comments about that car then my 40 ford. "its got an intercooler? so its got a turbo then..." no, its got a supercharger. "a what?" its supercharged, not turbocharged "well thats just another name for a turbo" ok then...... Course Ive also been told its underpowered and slow, because its only got a celica motor in it. Funny, I always thought 240hp in a 1900lb car was decidedly NOT underpowered.

    To be honest, I rarely take the 40 to car shows, cause I dont want to listen to the stupidity, or what "most people do" The only reason the Lotus goes is because its daily driven in the summer time, so its there by default, and even then, not entered in the show.
  22. My uncle's '77 gets the same comments. Plus someone asking how much faster it would be without the "chip." I don't think the kid would have known what the distributor was even if he could see it under the carbs. Not sure if he knew what those where either.
  23. TheTrailerGuy
    Joined: Jun 18, 2011
    Posts: 392


    Anyone who uses the word HEMI in conjunction with any engine other than a HEMI.... ugh
  24. TheTrailerGuy
    Joined: Jun 18, 2011
    Posts: 392


    And THAT is exactly why I never go to ANY car shows.... build 'em, drive 'em, go get something to eat in them, scoop the loop and go back home.. less trouble and no knotheads that way.
  25. mixedupamx
    Joined: Dec 2, 2006
    Posts: 513


    you wouldn't want the story to sound too outrageous , right!
  26. El Caballo
    Joined: Mar 3, 2001
    Posts: 5,913

    El Caballo

    Gotta like a granny that's V8 powered; God bless your meemaw.
  27. castirondude
    Joined: Jan 26, 2012
    Posts: 496


    I was at a car club once and this guy claimed that the reason people port heads and mill combustion chambers is to increase displacement. Bigger cylinders = more displacement. I'm like, dude, the whole meaning of the word DISPLACE means moving something. The head doesn't move. The pistons move. In order to increase displacement you need bigger pistons since they are displacing the air. He didn't get it. He kept arguing that a bigger combustion chamber is the same as increasing the bore of the cylinders and pistons. I gave up...

    Sent from my Verizon 4G LTE smartphone
  28. modeleh
    Joined: Oct 29, 2009
    Posts: 380


    Overheard a guy and his buddy looking over a '29 A Sedan today. Even though it was quite obvious it had a dropped axle in the front, the know-it-all said to his buddy "Looks like a small block. It probably has a Camaro front clip in it."
  29. Does it have to be at a car show? About ten years ago I was taking a new coworker home after a night shift, he saw I was into old cars and proceeded to enlighten me how he was without wheels because his truck had too much power and hit a telephone pole. According to Pinocchio as I'll refer to him, he'd pulled a stock 327 motor/ trans out of a RUSTED '58 vette. Wait, did you just say rusted?????? Pinocchio, yes of course, you see the vette was rusted cause they made them back then out of metal!!!!! (i knew then what i was dealing with so i let him proceed) Pinocchio .......It had nearly five hundred horse power and was squirrelly and being a toyota truck had no weight in the rear so I lost it and hit a telephone pole..... I'll spare you the rest.....He's lucky I took him all the way home and didn't just push his wooden butt out for Bigfoot to eat.

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  30. Smart woman!!

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