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What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by DaveyJonez, Mar 5, 2009.

  1. :D That's because you aren't supposed to TAPE it :eek: just set it on the dash
     
  2. belair
    Joined: Jul 10, 2006
    Posts: 8,636

    belair
    Member

    You have to cinch them up REAL tight in a 5-point harness for this to work^^^^^^
     
  3. slowmotion
    Joined: Nov 21, 2011
    Posts: 3,255

    slowmotion
    Member

    The secret with the $100 bill thing, was to take the front bolts outa the passenger side bucket seat! :D
     
  4. theman440
    Joined: Jun 28, 2012
    Posts: 244

    theman440
    Member
    from Las Vegas

    Classic!
     
  5. Carnuba
    Joined: Mar 19, 2012
    Posts: 430

    Carnuba
    BANNED

    winner!!!!!!!!!:d
     
  6. HAY Scout Master! How ya doin? Hows that Bad Dad runnin? I yam goin to the Run What Ya Brung I hope...Long story...anyhoo Hope all is well with you and yours! Just wanted to say HAY! I love the above Story! Specially with your outlook! FUN EEEEEE!!!!! Later! R~R
     
  7. John Lafayette
    Joined: Jan 15, 2011
    Posts: 95

    John Lafayette
    Member

    Every monday morning at work during the summer someone will say to me, " I saw an old car saturday, where was the car show?" Like you can't just drive it if you feel like it!
     
  8. hotrod--willys
    Joined: Dec 15, 2009
    Posts: 524

    hotrod--willys
    Member

    I had my 1926 T coupe at a car show. This guy came up to me and said, my brother has one of these just like this. His is green too, his has wire wheels, his has a chrome radiator like yours. ( now how many times have we heard this) This guy does not know his ass from a hole in the ground. Then the TOPPER!!!. Oh, his has a Ruxel axle too. Know it's time to pay attention. Long story short. I purchased this car. So some times these BS stories are true...
     
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2012
  9. True story.....

    Me and my buddies were out ridin' our bikes on the back roads. We stopped at this little dive bar in this one horse town. Some drunk S.O.B. is standing on the porch of this bar, looks at us and says exactly this "them there Sportsters". :eek: I looked over at my one buddy that don't have much of a humor 'cause I thought he was going to kill the guy. That's when the drunk S.O.B. said that he had a Sportster that could do 160 mph! :rolleyes:

    That's when we just went into the bar and had a drink! :D
     
  10. 40FordGuy
    Joined: Mar 24, 2008
    Posts: 2,907

    40FordGuy
    Member

    Ditto, # 8 !!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Checkbook Rods & Customs",.........

    4TTRUK
     
  11. trvguy
    Joined: Apr 12, 2010
    Posts: 86

    trvguy
    Member

    'THIS' 89 I-ROC Z dosn't have spark plugs.
     
  12. trvguy
    Joined: Apr 12, 2010
    Posts: 86

    trvguy
    Member

    THIS 89 I-ROC Z dosen't have spark plugs.
     
  13. sheltonk7
    Joined: May 30, 2011
    Posts: 46

    sheltonk7
    Member

    That sum bitch is so fast it will outrun the headlights
     
  14. 41GASSER
    Joined: Aug 2, 2009
    Posts: 188

    41GASSER
    Member

    Guy said the wheelie bars on his honda civic were functional.
     
  15. tjmercury
    Joined: Oct 22, 2010
    Posts: 589

    tjmercury
    Member

    Were they on the front???:eek: lol!
     
  16. i have a invictA STATION WAGON some guy called it a hearse again at a show last nite
    i usually have to leave the area of the car
    before i choke the everloving shit out of someone


    all the self proclaimed experts:cool::eek:
     
  17. Young guy trying to impress his girl friend while lookin' at my model A(avatar) " I'm gonna build one of these deuces and stick a hemi in it soon".
     
  18. flat 39
    Joined: Dec 31, 2007
    Posts: 236

    flat 39
    Member

    I was a a local cruise in showing my '39 ford coupe with flat head. This old guy starts up a conversation about how he had one like mine and use to race it back in the day. You know, the fastest car in the tri-state area, etc etc. I ask him what what kind of RPM he use to turn, His reply about 8000.
     
  19. manyolcars
    Joined: Mar 30, 2001
    Posts: 8,397

    manyolcars

    Ruckstell
     
  20. FANTASY FACTORY
    Joined: Mar 6, 2008
    Posts: 256

    FANTASY FACTORY
    Member

    Not hamb, but i was at a local spot when the town know it all says nice Charger, i reply Its a Challenger, his reply, I know what i am talking about, its a Charger..
    OK then, not like its the dart/valiant debate
     
  21. Back in the 50s,while working the parts counter at our speed shop,A guy came in and trying to impress us ,told us."My car has a Stude V-8 running a Duntov roller cam "
    We all laughed and said."we'd like to see it"
     
  22. Salty
    Joined: Jul 24, 2006
    Posts: 2,259

    Salty
    Member
    from Florida

    I've only read the last 5 pages or so but saw a Supra mentioned so I'd figure I'd regail you.

    A year or so ago I had some errands to run around town and my wife was going to meet me later in the evening at the monthly car show with the kids...you know, the typical monthly cruise in that's at the local burger joint.....see some cool cars, get a bite and have a cheap evening out with the family.

    Seeing as I was already in town I was driving my little crap box 1991 Toyota Celica ST (with a 5 speed....which evidently is rare, more on that later).....now mind you this car has 300 thousand miles, I havent been easy on it (though I have maintained the mechanics well) and it's been totalled 3 times....(read It still has primer on it from the last two times a retard has run a stop sign or rear ended me....I repaired the body damage but couldnt see repainting it as it kept on getting hit) OH and the paint is roached.....at the time (and now) it looks like absolute horse crap.

    So I park in the outer depths of the show, stay outta the way and hook up with the fam, we get our greasy groceries, wander around looking at the sites and socializing with folks we know....then it comes time to come home and I wander back to (what I fondly call) the battle cat.

    Theres 3 teens standing around the car (the hashed out used up Celica) talking about how rare the car was with the 5 speed manual and how those cars would fly with the twin turbo's. Me taken aback ask....rare? a Celica with a 4AFE 1.6 liter 4 cylinder that came from the factory with 105 brake horsepower? To the teens, I obviously was failing to connect.....they explained to me that my car was super desirable and that even in it's rough shape I should be able to get 15 grand for it....and that it wasnt a Celica it was a Supra.

    I exclaim "Wow! I'll sell you this car for 5 grand! you'll be getting a heck of a deal and seeing as I'm the second owner and didnt realize it was worth anything I'll be getting 42 hundred more than I though it was worth."

    They all thought that was a killer deal but alas none had the scratch to buy it.....I still have the car and am still trying to kill it though it refuses to die.....(Dang it! I really want a new point A to Point B car but cant see buyin one till this one croaks....)
     
  23. lostforawhile
    Joined: Mar 23, 2008
    Posts: 4,160

    lostforawhile
    Member

    they set them right next to the ground to keep the front end from coming up when launching, nothing to laugh at world record right now is 7.3 and 188 MPH in the quarter, have to respect anyone who can get those kinds of times out of four cylinders, if you see some guy running them on the street, they aren't functional
     
  24. Agreed... FWD cars also tend to "squat" in the back under hard acceleration, so the bars help keep the front tires planted. They're not there to prevent wheelies.
     
  25. MrFalcon62
    Joined: Sep 9, 2010
    Posts: 249

    MrFalcon62
    Member

    A guy I work with claims that he was trying to get the attention of a sexy female police officer in his '65 mustang. So he zoomed by her at 100mph, downshifted into 1st gear, did several donuts in the middle of the highway and waited for her to come arrest him. According to him. She was impressed by his stunt, and they went on a date that night.

    Did I mention that it was a straight six powered car that beat dodge vipers in the quarter mile?

    The sad part is...I think he really believes his own story


    Posted from the TJJ App for iPhone & iPad
     
  26. seb fontana
    Joined: Sep 1, 2005
    Posts: 6,826

    seb fontana
    Member
    from ct

    Ah, one of them..Used to have a bunch at work...Phrase that describes them best.."Legend in his own mind"..I used to tell one of them right to his face after a BS story; he took it as a compliment!..
     
  27. chopperrob
    Joined: Oct 8, 2010
    Posts: 110

    chopperrob
    Member
    from ny

    "Its got a 3/4 race cam" i always reply, what happened to the other 1/4?

    A kid in high school had a 70 monte carlo with a 402. Would you believe that at 120mph...while shifting into drive the tires broke loose.

    Than there was the kid who filled his pisser tank with starting fluid so when he hit the washer button it was better than nitros!
     
  28. "Yeah it pulled the wheels right in front of the house" later seen at the track running 16's in the 1/8 mile ha ha ha
     
  29. J_J_
    Joined: Feb 8, 2007
    Posts: 127

    J_J_
    Member

    I had a 68 chevy truck 1/2 ton at Palmdale in the late 80's it's best pass of the night was 16.39 at 89mph, 4200lb peg leg tall geared off road tired POS I used it to break in the small block I built for the 68 camero I was working on and usually hauled tools and tires etc, for the guys when he hit the grundge nights up there. friends set up a race for me with this guy and he wanted space claming his mid 70's chevy shortbed glass front end truck was steel and his 383 was a 283, which later was supposedly a 327, but when I crawled over the top of it to read the casting #'s it was a 350 4 bolt block with a 400 balance on the front.... never did run him, but totally called him on his BS! hated the street races for that I was just there to run not play stupid BS games..

    Did a restoration on a 65 Impalla for a customer 2 door nothing special, complete resto, frame off, acid dipped the body, rebuilt whole drivetrain, only things I didnt personally do was the suspension and the paint. took about a year amidst all the other jobs through the shop but when it was done it was beautifull, I had offered him a factory A/C set up I found while chasing parts but no he wanted it all back original, I refused to work on it anymore when he came in for service and it had an aftermarket A/C set up {ugly as hell} on it! then he says it's ok sice his chevy experts at the car show he went to found my one major fk/up ! they swore the lower interior trim corners at the back glass were factory stainless not painted steel? I argued told him they were all steel except the 4 dr which were chrome plastic, his were rusted out and it took me 2 months of digging in pick a parts etc, on my time to find him a good pair!
    my father worked for GM then and explained the same to him and he still thought his so called experts were right so I told him to send them over and prove me wrong! I never did touch his car again and really hate the so called experts!!

    used to clarify with customers that I would do a 100 percent restoration if thats what they wanted but I dont do point cars because it tends to be based on to many interpertations by a bunch of idiots. many a time at dads shop I would take customers to his libary from the 20's to current and show them everything on their car just to end all the " well this guy says, or my friend, or this judge at this show" BS

    I just gotta make sure when dad passes my brother dosent dump all that knowledge !
     
  30. i just met a guy who was telling about how he was parting a COPO chevelle to fix his yenko. the "copo" car was a 136 vin car dressed as an SS. the "yenko" was no where in sight. he also had a one of 3 plum crazy purple LS6 70 chevelle, also not in sight. also a rare one of 4 baracuda S cars, it was rare because it had a 318 two brl. his buddy had a w31 olds, no "paper work" but it was real! they also had a rare pace car mopar of some kind, nowhere in sight. some pretty neat cars for a minimum wage earner.
     

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