The Jalopy Journal
Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by DaveyJonez, Mar 5, 2009.
That's my new personal favorite! lol
I just had a discussion with someone yesterday who insisted that the 426 was the only motor Mopar ever made that had ACTUAL hemispherical combustion chambers, that the early Hemis were actually all polys, just with different valve covers to fool buyers so they could sell them at a higher price. He also insisted that DeSotos were made by Studebaker.
The other day I heard "it's all origonal henry steel. No patches and not an ounce of body filler"
While it was steel the body. It was so straight (not a single wave in a panel if you looked down it) that it couldn't even have been a new replica body. Shoulda made him a bet. "I'll take a grinder to it and if I'm right I get the truck. If you're right I pay for the bodywork and rebuild your engine free. Nothing gets that straight without filler"
Wow, these are freaking awesome... but it's getting me worried about the bullshit stories that this thing will attract in a open wheeled T....
Maybe I should just park the car and run when I get to a show, or maybe I'll just get some REALLY crazy stories.
Had a high school friend who had a few cars, Impalas, Chevelles, and such but they were always apart and his stories were outrageous. "Rare" test engines, hidden factory cars, 8 second claims, etc. His last name rhymed with "Liar" so we called him ____ Liar. Anyways, he comes up with a new one about this S-10 he bought with a 'vette motor and IRS and blah, blah, blah, it will blast the tires loose at 8mph, on and on.
I'LL BE DAMNED if it this time it wasn't actually true. He did somehow come up with this little swb red S-10 with an LT1, IRS and vette wheels, and it would blast the tires loose at 80mph.
It's long gone and now all we hear about is some corvair he built that went to Barrett Jackson, but nobody has ever seen it...
I like the guys that say '' I got a 10 sec motor in that car'' and have no clue what they really got and you smoke them with your 15sec beater at the light.
one night 15 years ago me and a buddy were out cruising middletown ohio (where all the hot street cars were supposedly) i was 25 we heard about this race that was gonna happen in a few minutes so we head to where the cars were parked when we get there the race was going to be between a white 68-70 nova blown 427 tubbed and a new stock salleen mustang (if you can call a salleen stock) well anyway
im over looking at the 427 in the nova and the owner is standing there and i asked him what compression are you running he says 12.5:1 i said isnt that alittle hot on the blower? he says.......naw i run two radiators......
few mintues later the salleen handed that nova its ass
if they woulda been on the track the nova woulda been half-tracked atleast
Let us not forget all the "falsies" (you know like over padded bras)
SS logo's on non SS cars
Roush or shelby bodykits on v6 mustangs
cobra logos on 4cyl foxbody stangs
hemi logos on 318 mopars
GT-R on these new cars that never had a GT-R in their trimline
GTO parts on lemans'
firebirds with trans-am logos
Giant scoops/cowl induction that never enters the engine bay
Hell I've seen two trucks out here with "speed parts" bolted to the hood. One has a hilborn scoop bolted on (with gaps to prove nothing is attached) and one has what looks like a supercharger but it's just a casing made of plastic.
This is OT...but hilarious. Should be required viewing for all "mouth racers"...
Kinda long, but worth it!
I had a 66 Hemi Satellite I restored to sell and make a few bucks back in the late 80's, I noticed it at a car show a few years ago as I was giving it a once over surprised to see it was just as I sold it. I asked the man behind the car if it was his he said it was then began to describe the restoration he did on the car and all the hours he has in it. I said really it looks just like it did when I sold it 20 years ago.... He asked my name I told him he got a wierd look on his face and just turned around and started talking to his friends...
Sadly, not all that unusual.
Kid last weekend with an 80-something chevy truck with a 305 and a little bit of a cam with stock heads and headers on it swore it was making over 500hp
So many to choose from.............Back about 1963 or so, at an 1/8 mi strip in Fulton, NY. Two more-money-than-brains racers BSing about how their respective cars are running that day. First guy, running a '63 Plymouth 426 bitching about high-speed misfire because it "needs points." 2nd guy, running a '62 'vette with a dealer-installed 409 says, hey I got some new ones you can have. Mopar guy asks, "Plymouth points?" Vette guy: "No, Chevy points, but there can't be that much difference can there?"
Side note: Vette guy used to hook tow bar to it and pull it around Syracuse downtown behind his '63 SS ragtop. Sometimes he'd fire up the motor in the Corvette and have it idling as he tugged it down Salina Street.
Just remebered a conversation I had with a kid this past summer at the gas station while filling up he pulled up to the pump next to me.
Me: Hey nice civic....
Kid: Thanks man.
Me: Thats a nice wing you have there....
Kid: Thanks man.
Me: Whats it for??
Kid: This car is fast I need it for traction on the drag strip!
Me: Isn't it front wheel drive...
Too many Douches at local cruise's. More new Corvettes then on a Chevrolet Dealers lot. It really gets to me how the Corvette guys have their hoods open as if they built the engines themselves. "Corvette Guy" usually accompanied by an overweight middle aged Floozie wearing a "Hot Corvette Gal" tank top. A good reason not to attend.
You got it partially right
You own a Chevy, Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ford guy - "what the hell's a Mopar?"
Chevy guy - "don't know, but they have really nice taillights!"
guy at the parts store asked what i was building.i said 29 roadster.he goes on to tell me that his corvair does 150 at el mirage all day long. thats a pretty hard stretch as i look out side and see a clapped out turd of a corvair.ive been going to el mirage every meet for 12 years and i know this thing would never even come close to passing tech.i dont get these people.there is a badass corvair out there now who is under 120!and he's pushin it
Not at a show or anything, But I was at a family gathering @ my grandparent's farm over the weekend (where I'm building my car), and my cousin's new BF was asking if I'd show him my build so far. So I show him the toys I have in the works, and then he starts talking about the V4 in his Grand Am. He obviously didn't know his asshole from his ear. I told him to shut up and he wasn't allowed to date my cousin anymore. He didn't think I was serious.
Not exactly a car show claim, but funny as hell if you were there...
My old friend (and mentor) had been in drag racing for 30+ years and at the time was crew chief on a front engine top fuel car. He used to keep a plastic jug near the door of his shop with "Dihydro Monoxide" written on it. EVERYONE who wandered in used to ask about it, thinking it was some kind of nitro additive, Nazi rocket fuel, explosive, etc...
I knew the joke, and used to add little gems like "Yeah, don't open it, it's FATAL if you get it in your lungs!". I've actually seen people run from the shop when he would get going abut this stuff. We shared a lot of laughs, and beers, over that.
For those of you who haven't picked up on it, the chemical symbol for "dihydro monoxide" is..........H2O.
[Just went down to get more coffee and ended up blowing it all over the floor because I remembered the time a "semi-informed" (knew enough to be dangerous) local ricer came in the shop. He saw the jug and started telling us about how he used the stuff to beat all the "punks running NOSS", but had to stop because his engine detonated and melted all the pistons! My friend's mouth just fell open, and I'd NEVER seen that happen before... Of course, we just told him he was mixing it wrong and we ran it all the time with no problems.]
Guy tell his girl friend I built that one.
When I'm setting next to the truck that I built.
Hope she didn't lay him!
How about when you ask them the condition of the car "it is mint".
Standin a line of guys at a meet......and then 'sniff, sniff'.....EWWWWWW!
And EVERYBODY SCATTERS claiming 'It wasn't ME!'
Had a co-worker that when he began every BS story would sit down a draw a freaking MAP to where it happened!
hahahahahaha I may steal that idea, thats great!!!!
A guy told me he had a 55 chevy called the "double nickel" that was a seven second street car...the next summer he said he never had a 55 chevy called that, but instead had an old triumph motorcycle that was called the "double nickel" that broke the mph record at bonneville in 1983...then the next summer same guy told me he never had a motorcycle or 55 chevy, but instead had a flat bottom boat called the "double nickel" that beat the miss budweiser boat during the East Coast spring nationals in Florida....yep...the ol' double nickel.
Well, I could fill this entire site with the BS I have heard (see, now IM doing it!!!). I am in a job that soooo lends itself to bullshit stories.
I am in the US Army. 18 years now in fact. Not only that, but I am a Warrant Officer. (If you are familiar with Warrants we are a "special type" of solider to say the least). And if its not enough to just be in the Army and be a Warrant, but, Im also an Aviator. Not saying that pilots lie, but apparently things seem to look bigger, faster, longer, taller, more expensive, etc... from the cockpit of a helicopter.
But, if I have understood them all correctly, every Joe that joined the Army back 10-15 years ago drove the fastest hot rod in his home town. Chevelles, Cudas and Mustangs. Every one of them was an original SS, Hemi, or Shelby too. Because we all know that 16-18 year old kids were driving those in the 90s. They all had blowers on them and ran in the 8's too. Hell, when I was 16 I could barely afford the GAS to put in my small block 69 Charger let alone a blown Hemi! And if I had a nickel though for every time I heard a story about some dudes 1978 4 door land yacht that mama gave him with a 350 in it that would do "every bit" of 180 I would be a rich man.
Seems now a-days these young soldiers all "usta have" some Nissan Skyline this or Honda Civvic that with V-tech this and boosted that. They all have "NOSS" (I hate it when they say that) and they will all "smoke my old muscle cars".
What kills me the most about it is that I cant for the life of me understand why so many people would wear a uniform that says "US Army" on it, and still buy nothing but Japanese cars. They will put their life on the line to defend a nation that they wont buy a car from. Go figure.
Im in Kandahar, Afghanistan on my 5th combat tour, and I would never be caught owning anything but a Mopar, Ford, or GM. (Ford or GM only if there was a gun to my head, but still). These guys just dont get it. Or, maybe its ME that dosnt get it!
haha, I don't seem to get it either.
While working on my 49 Ford with the garage door open a solicitor walks up and says "nice Studebaker". I pointed at the hood and said "nope, it's a 49 Ford".
A few years ago I had a guy tell me that his brother, cousin or buddy I can't remember which had built a car that had an engine with so much horsepower that the law wouldn't let him drive it on the street. Supposedly where they came from there was a limit on the number of horsepower you could have in and engine on the street.
The best bs story I heard (second hand) was the one where a guy told my buddy that he had raced me and beat me pretty soundly. The alleged race was supposed to have taken place a couple of days before when my truck just happened to be sitting in my buddy's shop while we were repairing the damage from the suicide door that had blown open on me.
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