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What's the Most Absurd Claim you've heard at a Car Show, Drag Race, Cruise Night, etc

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by DaveyJonez, Mar 5, 2009.

  1. TurboHaddix
    Joined: Jan 10, 2009
    Posts: 184


    These guys were probably telling the truth about the speeds but had no clue what the car actually had under the hood. My old 68 Chrysler 300 barge had a 440 in it and it would bury the speedometer and keep on climbing. Slower than crap out of the hole but man it had some top speed pull. It must have had 2.00ish gears in the rear. :D
  2. banjorear
    Joined: Jul 30, 2004
    Posts: 3,845


    Also, don't forget this classic story told by that clueless middle aged douche we all know: I once owned a [insert any car you desire here] that would routinely walk away from the baddest '67 Vette big block in town.
    Joined: Oct 19, 2006
    Posts: 1,204

    from Ramona CA

    I have heard that line of shit before too!:eek:
  4. One of the local bozo's here named greg craig and I had a conversation that went like this:

    him: Yeah, I still got my 68 hemi Charger that my uncle bought new. It's at my uncles house.
    Me: uh huh
    Him: Yeah, it's got 1,600 horsepower at the rear wheels, does a 6 second quarter mile.
    Me: uh huh
    Him: Yeah, it's at my uncles house 'cause I was street racing it and some guy in a Honda came up to me and I raced him. I blew him away, but then after I beat him, I blew the head clean off the motor, so we're fixing it.

    Me: ...
  5. 56sedandelivery
    Joined: Nov 21, 2006
    Posts: 6,676


    I've never seen so many "10 second" cars in my life. None of them had even been to the dragstrip, let alone on one. But, bolt on chrome traction bars, headers, and Purple Hornies, will appearently get you in the "10's". I wish I had known that; I would'nt have wasted all my money on the engine, trans, rear gears, suspension, and tires..... Butch/56sedandelivery.
    Chavezk21 and 61Cruiser like this.
  6. banjorear
    Joined: Jul 30, 2004
    Posts: 3,845


    Right there is proof good headers aren't for looks. There must have been a heck of a lot back pressure in that motor to cause that.


    He was fibbin'?
  7. Squatch
    Joined: Feb 3, 2007
    Posts: 125


    We've got this douchebag here in Mansfield that we call 10.60. He had this 80's S10 4X4 stock that "would run 10.60's" He also ran around on a KZ650 with wheelie bars that he said ran 9's... stock. What a douchebag...
  8. Most comman and irritating ones: Every 4 speed car (GM) has an M22 rock crusher (Yea right) Every other 327 is out of a corvette (Yea right) Then the real good one is: It has Corvette paint!!!!! Do they use corvette primer on RAT RODS too?:rolleyes:
  9. even funnier, I went out to put a windshield in a early 70's vette and it was so rusty I refused to put glass back in it. the guy was at work and over the phone kept telling corvette's are glass and don't rust. there is alot of steel inside the glass.
  10. Maybe all the guys quoting times are referring to an 8th mile track.. haha... but then again 8's in a duster is still BS on the short track...
  11. TurboHaddix
    Joined: Jan 10, 2009
    Posts: 184


    QFT! A 318 duster would run 0-60 in 8 seconds on a good day.
  12. moses
    Joined: Dec 7, 2004
    Posts: 1,101


    that there is some funny storys guys keep em up.!!!! jeffrey
  13. MissPrint
    Joined: Sep 11, 2008
    Posts: 760


    Idiot at a Gas Station with Some Floozy on His Arm (whom he is obviously trying to impress with his vast car knowledge): "Say there! That's a beautiful 55' ya got there."

    Me: "Huh?":confused: (not looking up as I'm trying to fill my fuel cell without spraying gas all over the inside of my trunk)

    Idiot: "That's a good lookin' 55' ya got there. Didn't ya hear me the first time?"

    Me: "Yeah, I heard you, but the Edsel was only produced in 58', 59', and 60'. She's a 59'. Thanks." (attempting to ignore the fool who is now walking around my car)

    Idiot: "No. That's a 55'. Exactly like the one my [uncle, father, grand dad, fourth cousin twice removed] owned." (Idiot is now getting irate, Floozy is now looking uncomfortable)

    Me: "Well, then, I guess I got the rarest car in all America, 'cause they didn't make Edsels in 55'." (me, smiling sweetly and innocently, replacing the gas nozzle)

    Idiot: (stomping off, fuming, tugging his Floozy along behind him, she trippin' on her stripper heels, whispering loudly under his breath) "Bitch. I bet she don't even know she's got a 350 under that hood." :rolleyes::D
  14. My fave, the 165 mph tow truck-

    quote" Uh had uh frind thet had uh 165 moll pur hower tow truck. I know it did cuz uh rode in it one time. How I knowed it wint tuh 165 iz becuzz the speedometer only goes to 120, thin it went on around to zeero. By muh calculations, that's 165 mph! Half throttle too." end quote

    One day I told me ex-wife and her mom that story and had them rolling on the floor! Then of all things my father-in-law (dickhead) came in soon after and told that very same story! As he explains how he knowed it went to 165, both women were looking at me a little strange.
  15. MissPrint
    Joined: Sep 11, 2008
    Posts: 760


    Dangit. Hit submit too soon. . .

    Saw same Idiot (without his Floozy) at the show I was on my way too, later on the same day. . .:D
  16. cafekid
    Joined: Dec 4, 2008
    Posts: 380


    i had a guy at a show claim to be the owner of my car and then argue with me for almost half an hour before i finally let him in on the fact that it was actually my car(the 51 in my avatar) and that he had no idea what he was talking about...... his cocky attidude quickly changed
  17. partsdawg
    Joined: Feb 12, 2006
    Posts: 2,898

    from Minnesota

    "I had one just like that in high school...except it was a green 4 door with a 6 cyl. automatic"...while looking at a red '66 Chevelle SS 396
  18. henry29
    Joined: Sep 5, 2007
    Posts: 2,835


    A guy I went to high school with claimed he had a 69 camaro, although he never drove it to school and said he kept it in his uncles garage.
    Well one day he was bragging to everyone one at school how he raced some mustang the night before and blew the engine, said all the rods snapped and sent all the pistons right through the hood.
  19. mackster
    Joined: May 28, 2006
    Posts: 535


    Ive seen that before. . . . . . .IN CARTOONS!:D
  20. landst
    Joined: Feb 17, 2009
    Posts: 48


    The thing I hate to hear the most and it seems like I hear it alot.

    I usually shift at around 9800.
    or the peckerwood as I like to call them driving a 98 z talking about his car peeks at around 8500.
    This is bullshit and I would really like to just smack the sh#t out of these people.
  21. ArtGeco
    Joined: Apr 6, 2005
    Posts: 760

    from Miami

    You shoulda' bet him $100 that "your" key would start "his" car.
  22. LEMMING249
    Joined: Sep 2, 2008
    Posts: 140


    How 'bout this one........"I lost my virginity in the back seat of one of those back in the fifties!".............I swear to god that's what she said:D
    pat59 likes this.
  23. patman
    Joined: Apr 30, 2007
    Posts: 553


    Not necessarily absurd, but I'm getting tired of hearing these:

    "A buddy of mine bought a 63 'Vette for $1 off a woman who was getting a divorce and was selling her ex's car for him."

    (pointing at my open element air cleaner in the staging lanes) "If you flip the air cleaner lid over, you'll cut 1 second off your time!"

    "Nice car! I had one just like was a (insert completely different car here) and it had a (insert completely different engine here) in it, and it was painted (insert completely different color here)"

    "A buddy of mine used to stick a $100 on the dash and tell the passenger if they could grab it while he launched, they could have it and nobody ever did it!"

    Most absurd conversation overheard...spring Carlisle...1983 or for sale area...blown SBC on engine stand:

    B: "Hey, nice looking engine! What's the specs? How much you asking?"
    S: "Thanks, it's a 355, 6-71, (...blah, blah blah...) what are you offering?"
    B: "Sounds pretty good...what are you looking to get for it?"
    S: "I dunno, make me an offer"
    B: "Well if you don't know how much you want for it, how are you going to sell it?"
    S: "Listen buddy, make me an offer, or go away"
    B: "Why should I make a *#@($@ offer on this piece of (@#$&??"
    S: "Hey *#@($&, what is your offer?"
    B: "Who are you calling #@($&, you @%@, you don't even know a #(@*$& price"
    S: "@#$)@# @#) )@#*$) @$&)@)#$"
    B: "(@#&$ )@#*$ _@_ @)(*$ @)2"
    (They were circling for a fight when I last saw them)
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2009
  24. Verminator
    Joined: Mar 27, 2007
    Posts: 814


    In the late 90's after racing, I put the Verminator Falcon in a bunch of winter car shows. It's a 61, 460 powered. It was originally owned, built and raced by Dan Roman, Meriden, CT from 1968 til 75 and was 428, C 6 powered, then with a 427, hilborns & a 4 speed. At EVERY show, from Boston, Hartford, Long Island and Cleveland, at least One mperson would Swear it was his car, or his brothers, friends, etc... Best was Cleveland World of Wheels, when this moron is on me all weekend that it was his, and grabbing passersby how he built it..."This is my car !!!! it's just how I built it ...a 63 Falcon, with a 350 chevy, see ????????
  25. My best friend's Dad is the original owner of a very nice Rambler....If I had a dollar for every time some so-called 'expert' comes along at a car show and tries to tell him everything that's 'wrong' with his car, I'd be quite a bit richer.

    It usually goes something like this: " didn't restore it right...that color ain't original, and they never made a green interior that year and what are those hubcaps off of? They ain't Rambler..." My buddies Dad will let the 'expert' ramble on...then eventually, he breaks out the window sticker and the bill of sale-with his name clearly spelled out on it.:rolleyes:
  26. vertible59
    Joined: Jan 25, 2009
    Posts: 1,058


    O/T, but made me lol. Had a guy tell me a Chevrolet powered Mustang was gonna blow the doors off all them Fords at THE FUN FORD WEEKEND.
  27. pdc
    Joined: Nov 25, 2008
    Posts: 346


    There's a guy that I work with that thinks he is a NHRA engine builder and taught Jon Force how to race. Any way he told a story about having to take his girlfriend to the hospital. He was in a 70's nova with trick flow heads on a 350 with a cam and who knows what else. But this car went 200 mph on the way to there. He said do the math the distance and the time. He'll start a project then pay his dad to finish it and say he built it. Oh yeah he traded a 69 big block Camaro for a tubbed out purple 280z Datzun with a Saleen wing. Sad to say this is true.
  28. dabirdguy
    Joined: Jun 23, 2005
    Posts: 2,404

    Member Emeritus

    Someone told me once that they could out-drink Breeder.

    Talk about a TALL tale.
  29. couple of years ago I was at a open house put on by a contractors supply company....anyway the company had a roadster p/u built the late in the middle of listening to the guy haulin this billet POS around the country to the differnt suppliers he spouts "yeah I just got it back from boyds body shop.I bent the bottom of rear fenders doing a wheelie in the street in Vegas"...yeah right MF!
  30. 40streetrod
    Joined: Nov 11, 2007
    Posts: 477

    from nj

    well here's mine
    I was working on my 40 pickup and my friend was over working on his lower unit for his outboard, some guy stops by and starts talking to us about the truck, then eye's the lower unit and asked me what that was, so I tell him it's a conversion kit to make a front wheel drive Cadliiac into a rear wheel drive Cadillac, so the guy looks at us and says I got one of those at home too. needless to say he was asked to leave.

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