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Technical What is the goofiest “On the road” repair you have ever done?

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Driver50x, Feb 5, 2020.

  1. kevinrevin
    Joined: Jul 1, 2018
    Posts: 63

    from East Texas

    On the way home from a two night dirt-track race and the fuel pump died on the motorhome towing the trailer. Took the LP bottle from the stove & ran the hose in the top of the carb. That provided enough fuel to run 55 mpg the 75 miles back to the shop.
  2. 0NE BAD 51 MERC
    Joined: Nov 12, 2010
    Posts: 1,368

    0NE BAD 51 MERC

    The few times over the years I have had trouble I have been able to make the repair and get home . The goofiest one though was back in 1977 . I had a 70 Chevy 1/2 ton { one of the few non Ford work trucks I have ever owned! lol} Any way I was headed out to my Mom and Dads and about a mile from their house one of the tie rods came apart at 45 mph and after getting it stopped about five feet from a big Oak tree I got it popped it back on the ball with the aid of my framing hammer, then I dug out some twist ties that we used for wiring rebar for concrete work and wired it together and drove ten mph to the folks house. Good thing my 70 Super Bee was in the garage. Drove to town , got the part and fixed it in the drive. Front end alignment done by a Stanley 25 ft Powerlock tape measure. Sometimes being a carpenter comes in handy! lol Larry
  3. When I was 19 years old I was a drummer in a hard rock band. I used to haul my drums to our gigs in a old Chevy pick up truck. On the way to do a show at a night club the left rear brake shoes along with the springs and hardware fell apart inside the brake drum and disintegrated. I pulled the wheel and drum, emptied out all the junk. The pistons also fell out of the wheel cylinders and were of course leaking. I chopped the brake line at the axle housing, folded the line over and crimped-smashed it shut. Drove 100 miles to the gig, played and drove back home after. Hey, the show had to go on.
  4. jimmy six
    Joined: Mar 21, 2006
    Posts: 7,130

    jimmy six

    Lost the alternator belt on a 69 3/4 Chev pu. Had some clothes line rope twine under the seat. Had a small box of wrenched there too. Adjusted the alt to the smallest belt, tied the rope in the groove and taped the ends and adjusted it as tight as I could. Made it 20 miles home..... it was 2am and I was sober. Never traveled again without an extra belt and have never needed it.
  5. David Gersic
    Joined: Feb 15, 2015
    Posts: 2,257

    David Gersic
    from DeKalb, IL

    HR Power Tour a couple years ago, I stopped at a mountain scenic overlook somewhere in Tennessee. I noticed that one exhaust pipe end was much lower than the other. Looking closer, the rear hangar had lost its bolt and fallen apart.

    That, by itself, wouldn’t be great, but the exhaust pipe was now bouncing on the top of the axle housing. Exactly on top of the brake line that runs from the center hose to the cylinder.

    Fortunately, I was picky when I put the brakes in, and wrapped the rear end lines with that spiral stainless steel spring stuff. That kept it from crushing the brake line.

    There was nothing around but rocks, though. So, back in the car and took it easy getting a few miles down the road to a gas station. They didn’t have anything useful, it was one of those places that has nineteen kinds of potato chips, but no car parts.

    What it had, though, was a wire horse fence. 1/8” wire laid out in 6” squares, four feet high. And, I had dykes. So the fence donated a piece of wire, which was quickly bent in to an exhaust hangar. Finished the trip ok, and fixed it properly at home. Ran a new brake line, too.

    Not really goofy, just doing what needed to be done.

    Goofy would be using a rattle can with the ends removed, and a couple hose clamps, to patch the rotted exhaust pipe on my college Buick. The steel cans lasted longer than traditional aluminum beer cans.

    Sent from my iPad using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
    VANDENPLAS and Driver50x like this.
  6. Out of gas ? What are you sayin' or hearing ? Too many of those to remember....coastin' in to the gas station. You know - with that gas gauge that doesn't work real well on most of the cars the last 50 years or so.....and then there was the road trip with the "NEW" Firestone 500 radials.....just north of Austin coming back home one blew out right at the Georgetown exit sign.....picture somewhere around here....the OT Ford my sister needed brought out to Long Beach....out west Texas the alternator stopped working no big deal to all the way to south LA at a stop for fuel....the ring gear went out....banged a little and got it going.....all the way to Long Beach in that old to see and tour the Spruce Goose witch was worth it.......
  7. borderboy1971
    Joined: Oct 20, 2008
    Posts: 705

    from Canada

    Nearly 20 years ago now, a couple buddies and I decided to go to a bigger car show approx 300 miles from home with his 71 cutlass. The car had a pretty lively 455 built for it but the car had been overheating at slower speeds since the engine had been built and installed. We decided on a Sunday morning to swing by a little parts place and pick up a new thermostat. Turned out the thermostat that was in it was upside down. (A year of overheating solved). But we get in to drive away and his b&m shifter breaks a cable. We went back in and bought a universal choke cable. I was the skinniest of us so I had to slide under the car and hook up the cable to the trans. Me riding in the back seat of the car, I was in charge of selecting drive or reverse or park as necessary. Got us home no problem. Do what you gotta do.
    bchctybob, blowby and Driver50x like this.
  8. 1ton
    Joined: Dec 3, 2010
    Posts: 399


    Middle of the night, westbound on I88 by Morrison, IL., car had issues and had to stop. Middle of nowhere. At sun rise, along comes a van with a bunch of guys that were there to release racing pigeons. They shared the cooler full of beer, took me to breakfast, to the Napa store when it opened and back to my car after that. Great people
  9. seb fontana
    Joined: Sep 1, 2005
    Posts: 6,602

    seb fontana
    from ct

    Washer fluid wouldn't clean the windsheild so I washed it with diet coke..
    Driver50x, trollst and deathrowdave like this.
  10. Dedsoto
    Joined: Jan 7, 2014
    Posts: 66

    from Australia
    1. Aussie HAMBers

    October last year, driving back from a weekend down south in my O/T 68 falcon wagon, 347/4spd/4.11 9". When I put the car together I used ally fuel line, flared with AN fittings using a 45 degree flare tool as I was too cheap to buy a 37 degree tool. 100ks from home a line cracks at the flare on the regulator, at 115kph, at 3900rpm, hosing fuel into the engine driven fan. Somehow nothing ignited, that was until I pulled the coil lead off to get a better shot at tightening the suspect fitting and hit the key...

    After extinguishing the fire, I pulled the brake booster hose and used the nail file on a key chain swiss army knife to cut the flares off the 3/8 ally line. No hose clamps or tie-wire in the car, thankfully 6.5psi wasn't enough to push the 5/16 hose off the 3/8 tube. Made it the rest of the way home and spent more time cleaning the mess from the extinguisher that I did making new stainless hardlines with the correct 37 degree flare! :rolleyes:
    bchctybob and Driver50x like this.
  11. On a double date ..... was diving a thruway and every thing wen dead. New header install was to close to battery cable. Shorted out an melted terminal off. Dad .....yes a farmer... brought a battery set it in the backseat of a 72 firebird and ran jumper cables under the hood. Drove 30 miles. She never even gave me a good might kiss .....

    Sent from my iPhone using H.A.M.B.
    Driver50x likes this.
  12. gene-koning
    Joined: Oct 28, 2016
    Posts: 2,025


    There was a group of us, my 16 year old son with his just made drivable 55 Dodge panel van being one of the group, that made the 500 mile or so trip from home to Back To The Fifties.
    After a great weekend we were heading for home. Just out of St Paul city limits, as we took an exit, my son slowed and pulled over to the side. I was following him, so I stopped to see what was wrong. His throttle cable broke. After a few minutes of a group discussion (everyone stopped), I came to the conclusion we could use a speaker wire as a throttle cable. I removed the original cable, fed the speaker wire through the hole in the firewall and cobbled it to the gas pedal and to the carb. After a few adjustments, it actually worked pretty well. He drove the panel home, and then hew drove it around town for a couple weeks before we could find a throttle cable long enough to do the job.

    Someone mentioned dirt track racing? We were running an off topic performance car with a big block Mopar motor in the hobby class. We were in the top 10 in the points race, and the season was nearing an end. Finishing in the top 10 in points actually paid better then finishing 1st in the feature in our class. It was at the end of the season, and there were 15 cars close in points. We unloaded the car, packed the track and the car died! We discovered the fuel pump failed. Not a problem, the tow car was a big Dodge wagon with a big block. I pulled the fuel pump off the tow car, and put it on the race car. It was daylight, not a bad job. We ran all night and finished well, which improved our position in the points race as well. After we loaded up the race car, I had to pull the fuel pump off the race car and put it back on the tow car so we could go home. Of course, we were the last class to run, so after the cars were loaded, the track shut off all but the essential lights (none of which were near where the car was parked. Ever put a fuel pump on a big block Dodge by feel? The fuel pump is driven by a push rod that runs off the cam. When the pump is removed, the push rod drops down, then you have to hold the rod up while you insert the pump into the block. If the rod isn't above the pump lever, you break the pump housing when you tighten the two bolts. Of course, your doing all this from under the car. Flash lights are pretty useless in that confined area. I got the job done, and we made it back home. We did finish 8th in the point standings that year out of 40 cars in the class. Gene
    wicarnut, 6-bangertim and Driver50x like this.
  13. RJP
    Joined: Oct 5, 2005
    Posts: 1,654

    from PNW

    In my younger days, I'm flat towing a 1967 Charger, with a 1967 Charger. Both are 440 automatic, one is black(mine) the other is white( also mine now). Tranny starts slipping in the Black one at 2:30 in the morning in BF Nebraska, 60 miles from nowhere, 65 miles from nowhere else, with about 1100 miles to go to get home. Luckily, the white one was a runner, so I slid under and did the drive shaft drill (twice) by the light of my Zippo. Swap the bumper hitch and towbar from one to the other by headlight, wire up the tow lights and finally get everything stowed away. Then it dawns on me the white Charger has no plates. As I'm bolting on the front plate, a set of flashers and headlights slip up behind me. State boy asks me what I'm doing. Figure I got a 50/50 chance at getting out of this and back on the road with a creative white lie, so I tell him I was just doing a walk around, and noticed the plate had come loose. To my surprise he buys it, and after a quick note of my license and plate, I'm on my way. He follows me for about five miles, and I start sweating that lie, figuring he's running the plates. He finally turns off, and I thank DMV they don't require color on titles.
  14. Boneyard51
    Joined: Dec 10, 2017
    Posts: 4,348


    Well, I was in Glenncoe camp ground in Sturgis a couple a years back,we had brought a small two wheel trailer to pull behind the 4 wheeler. We had it loaded with beer, lawn chairs, drunks, etc. This camp ground is about a mile long , while we were close to the end we offered a ride to , well some well endowed girls of “great dimension”, then we had a blow out on the trailer!
    Well goodby girls... I grab a 8 ft 4x4 lay near a fence and use some motorcycle tie downs to strap it under the trailer, Indian litter style. We make it back to camp. Lesson learned! Only skinny girls from now on!

    Last edited: Feb 5, 2020
  15. Rickybop
    Joined: May 23, 2008
    Posts: 6,617

    from Michigan

    Some truly great stuff here LOL.

    Not really "goofy", but you might get a chuckle out of it. I kind of do... now.

    Sandy and I were riding to work together in the most embarrassing car I ever owned... a bright yellow Pinto hatchback... actually, a Mercury Bobcat. 4 cylinder 4 speed. Total POS.

    I was pissed about something. I think I was pissed that I even had to drive this stupid car. Maybe I was just pissed that I had to get up and go to work LOL I don't know. Poor Sandy... I was being a dick.

    Poor car, too. I guess I was shifting a little bit too "aggressively". The whole shifter lever came right off... LOL. I probably had a surprised look on my face, suddenly driving down the road with a shifter in my hand with the greasy nylon ball and socket thingy hanging from the bottom.

    Sandy started laughing her ass off.
    I started laughing. Sort of.

    I pulled into a parking lot and managed to reassemble the shifter. But now my white shirt was covered with black grease.

    I was just shaking my head.
    Sandy said let's take the day off.
    That's what we did.

    Sent from my VS835 using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
    Ford52PU, wicarnut, Murphy32 and 2 others like this.
  16. deathrowdave
    Joined: May 27, 2014
    Posts: 2,245

    from NKy

    I have had many car related issues , on non car issue was the sprocket is riveted on the drum of older Harley’s . I put the old Dude in gear eased out the rocker and nothing happens . WTH , drive chain is spinning , ain’t shit happening for movement . I shut it down start to tear into it , and an older man comes over from his porch . He says here and hands me a few nails and a hammer . He says shove these in and bend them over , take it easy and you’ll be fine . I did as he suggested , put the wheel back on and eased it home . Drilled out all the rivet holes to round again installed bolts and nuts , and returned to buy the old Dude a brew , for helping me out of a jam .
  17. Shutter Speed
    Joined: Feb 2, 2017
    Posts: 839

    Shutter Speed

    Well, that’s twice that pantyhose saved the day. I know what I’m throwin in the tool box!

    Out on a date in a ‘63 beetle. (Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it) Throttle cable let go somewhere along the line... Pitch dark. No tools. Hood open, squatting on the rear bumper, holding fast, operating the sucker by hand and shouting when to shift, my date drove us home. Did I say it was freezing? Simple fix in the daylight. Lotta fun in that thing!
    bchctybob, Driver50x and Boneyard51 like this.
  18. Chrisbcritter
    Joined: Sep 11, 2011
    Posts: 1,853


    Back in '87 in my thoroughly O/T '76 Ford LTD, I was taking one of my Aztec buddies to Tijuana so he could hop a bus to Mexico City. It had been raining and the roads were a mess of rocks and ruts, and when we got within a couple miles of the bus station we reached a puddle about 100 feet across. My friend told me to go ahead just as a '63 Chevy reached it from the other side, and I told him "If he makes it, I'll go."
    He didn't make it.
    I turned around partway in and heard rocks hitting underneath my car, but managed to get my grumbling friend to a taxi stand that had cars which could get through the mess, or at least had braver drivers. After dropping him off, the oil light came on and I pulled up in front of an auto parts store, figuring I was a bit low. Bought a quart and poured it in, only to see it running out of the sump.
    Nice going.
    By now it was 10 pm and the store was closing so I bought six more quarts, curled up in the car and tried to sleep, sort of... At sunrise I cranked it over, pulled the right side wheels onto the curb, killed it and crawled underneath into the oil and mud and whatever else is usually in a TJ gutter. Looked at the oil pan and found a little 1/2" gash near one corner like a fingernail mark in a bar of soap. Spent a good chunk of the morning under the car with a few tools (ball peen hammer, pliers, center punch, chisel and flat screwdriver) tapping and bending until I had overlapped the edges and closed the hole up as tight as I could. Crossed fingers... poured oil in... not one drop leaked (Geez - did I actually do something right?). Keep fingers crossed, split for the border watching the oil light all the way - still running fine. Cross over, can't believe the Federales didn't pull me for being so nervous and grimy. Check oil in Chula Vista - still full. Made it home to Pasadena without leaking any oil. Luckily (because I sure can't credit it to skill) it never leaked after that until I traded the car in six months later.
    And that was the last time I schlepped anyone to TJ.
    safetythird, bchctybob, Chris and 4 others like this.
  19. choptop40
    Joined: Dec 23, 2009
    Posts: 3,652


    drove my Plum crazy purple 37 Plymouth 327 powered coupe to a friends place and motor mount on one side lets go..old style without the safety tabs....Well my friends a carpenter , so we cut a piece of 2x4 and jack up the engine and wedge it in there and viola....drove it home..that coupe was a blast to drive....Same car , no seat belts...My daughter was 5 years old and I'd pick her up from problem...I strapped her in with bungee cords......Easy Peasy....
    Shutter Speed and Driver50x like this.
  20. Mine was a 65 galaxie moordoor sedan, Was out desert driving up to a waterfall above Lake havasu...
    When coming back down the hill the tie rod sleeve broke. I was like GREAT WTF to do now. No tow truck in there right mind would come to get it where I was, no cell phones at that time. The walk out would have been like 10 miles. So looked around nothing.. Hmmm Opened the trunk and there was still some side trim in there and hose clamps. So broke some pieces and clamped on, Drove like 15 ft and broke again DAMNIT ! Then made some more to completely wrap around the sleeve and clamped the crap out of it.. Drove it home, had to drive another 2 days like that before the parts house could get a new tie rod sleeve in..
    Driver50x and Boneyard51 like this.
  21. Lobucrod
    Joined: Mar 22, 2006
    Posts: 4,120

    Alliance Vendor
    from Texas

    When I was about 16 I was driving my grandpa back home from a cattle auction in his ‘66 ford pickup. We came to a stop sign in the middle of nowhere and when I pushed in the clutch pedal it just went to the floor. Got out and crawled under it to find that the clutch rod from the bell crank to the clutch arm had fallen off back up the road somewhere. He had a toolbox with a good selection of combination wrenches so I found one that was the right length and put the box end on the bell crank pin and stuck one of the open end jaws into the depression on the clutch arm. Wrapped some bailing wire around it to keep it in place and away we went. He drove it about a week like that till he found a replacement.
  22. BLAKE
    Joined: Aug 10, 2002
    Posts: 2,772


    In 2012, about halfway between Marfa and Presidio in the Texas Big Bend region, the alternator bracket on Kati's SBC in her '53 Merc shears a bolt at the head, leaving the belt driving the water pump hanging uselessly... and we're at least an hour (in the desert in July) from ANYTHING. To get tension on the belt, we moved the alternator to the other bank, but the bracket design won't hold tension in that position. So we grabbed a small ratchet strap from the toolbag... hooked it under the alternator, then over the top of the alternator and down to a point on the frame near the upper control arm and ratcheted it down, pulling the alternator out/down and tensioning the belt.

    Viola!! The tension held and everything worked fine for the hour-plus drive into Presidio where we were able to buy an EZ-Out and new bolt for the original alternator bracket. It just took us 45 mins to find someone who could loan us a drill! (Those who have visited Presidio will understand).

    belair and Driver50x like this.
  23. BLAKE
    Joined: Aug 10, 2002
    Posts: 2,772


    Did the exact same thing one night in my old 4-seater sandrail on the beach in Galveston, TX! I'm standing on the rear cage operating the throttle while my Tecate-drunk buddy... the one who never drove a stick before... drove us the 40-mins back to the rented beach house.
  24. corncobcoupe
    Joined: May 26, 2001
    Posts: 5,067

    Staff Member

    Along the way trip...... roof to windshield trim water leak into the interior.
    10 packs of chewed Dentine gum plugged it.
    Driver50x likes this.
  25. stubbsrodandcustom
    Joined: Dec 28, 2010
    Posts: 1,283

    from Spring tx

    Broke a fan/alternator belt on the road, had somewhere I had to be, Got 2 packages of pantyhose, tied together, double wrapped the pulleys and got me where I needed to be and home... WIN...
  26. jetnow1
    Joined: Jan 30, 2008
    Posts: 1,593

    from CT
    1. A-D Truckers

    I can just see someone telling his wife the pantyhose in the tool box is for emergencies!
  27. Shutter Speed
    Joined: Feb 2, 2017
    Posts: 839

    Shutter Speed

    Alright! That’s THREE pantyhose saves! This’s gonna change toolboxes forever.:)
  28. Rickybop
    Joined: May 23, 2008
    Posts: 6,617

    from Michigan

    Oh my God... LOL

    Some of my wife's and my favorite movies have been about dangerous adventures in the wilderness. You know... somebody's lost and they're making their way back to civilization against all odds.

    This thread is very similar.
    Maybe even better.

    Sent from my VS835 using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
    Driver50x and Boneyard51 like this.
  29. Mark Grabo
    Joined: Jan 26, 2018
    Posts: 48

    Mark Grabo
    from Upstate NY

    a friend of mine drove a early 70's impala and one of the rear trailing arm bolts fell out and the rear end went all crooked , he didnt have any bolts or real tools with him so he stuck the jack handle through the hole and used a piece of sign post from the side of theto bend it enough so it wouldn't fall out and drove it home very slowly
    Driver50x and Boneyard51 like this.
  30. badvolvo
    Joined: Jul 25, 2011
    Posts: 469


    We had an old RV I bought, took it 800 miles from home. It had a fresh BBC in it. Freaking technology took me down a jeep road in this 30' RV. Sofa King rough ride not even a lane wide. Got to the bottom of the gulch (rocky mountains), I see no oil pressure, shut her down. I looked up and saw a sign that said "if it rains, climb to safety". I yelled at the kids, we were in real trouble here as it started to rain. I had to get this pig moving. I dumped all the oil I had in it, 6 quarts, thinking we could splash oil long enough to get to a better place. Start her up, she's making some noise, but now has oil pressure. I quickly guessed they didnt tack in the pickup tube. We drove out of there to the outskirts of Denver, smoking like crazy. Found a walmart parking lot, bought a drain pan, oil and silicone. Dropped the pan in the parking lot and fixed her up. We babied that thing another 1000 miles, got off the turnpike, knock, knock, knock. Nursed her the 15 miles on home. It seized up in the driveway. Yes, we were praying all the way. Probably my best "save".

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