talk to your wife she is no doubt feeling the exact same pain and dont clam up you need the people you love and they need you and hold her and the little man like its your last day
Ah man, I'm so sorry to hear that. You're still blessed to have a son, take comfort in him, and make sure he knows Mom and Dad will be alright....cause he can tell you're hurting. You've got 20,00 or so friends here for ya.
Man I can't even begin to feel your pain! But I'm glad you got it out in the open, coz I do klnow that's a great way to start the healing process. One of the worst moments in my life was after the birth of my daughter. I called her grandma on a phone at the hospital and was in pretty high spirits. After i hung up and walked away I heard the guy who had been standing behind me telling the person on the other end of his call that the baby didn't make it. Man I felt worse than shit. Went back to apologise, he was cool we had a coffe and talked. Dunno how much it helped but at least he was smiling when we parted and talking about the future.
For such a caring and understanding group on these matters there must have been quite a few who have gone through a devastating loss of some form. I too lost my son of 21 yrs ten years ago now. the pain never ever goes away but I can tell you over the years it goes from unbearable to tolerable. Glad to see you are finally getting this out. You need to talk about it. Look at me.... I still do it ten years later. You and your wife are in my prayers buddy. take care.. PJ
I'm impressed that you are still able to function at this point. I wouldn't wish that on people that I don't like. After having my first son (at the ripe old age of 48) I just can not fathom the pain you & your wife are going thru. I hope that you opening up here helps ease the pain. My wife & I express our deepest sympathy to you & your family during these troubled times. PACO
My Father died when I was ten. My mother died when I was fifteen. My best friend died when died when I was twenty. My wife and I were just talking this past weekend about why I handle death the way I do. I told her that it’s not that I’ve gotten used to it, but I’ve gotten used to getting past it. I told her that one never gets OVER it but one must get PAST it. My Mother died on Valentine’s Day for God’s sake. Imagine how that could take me down each year if I let it. I won’t. I got past it. Lucky, don’t ever get over them, but definitely get past them. Like you said, you still have the 1 yr, old and the wife. And I’m betting she REALLY needs YOU now! This board is 25,000+ strong of what we would like to think is the toughest, strongest group of guys and chicks on the face of the Earth. But when one of these threads opens up, we all soften up, a lot. And there’s not a lot that can be done about it. Even it you don’t respond, it changes you, even for that moment that you read it. Vance
I am sorry to hear of your loss, find someone to talk to that listens! (without booze or unprescribed chemical involved). Individual counseling and then couple then group can help and many insurances cover this under mental health. Many of us have suffered losses and some have coped better than others. I can tell you what not to do as I was labeled "self-destructive" after personal issues. I rely on friends, family, counselors and better living thru legal chemistry. You need to be the rock for your wife too. Hang in there!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry for your loss. To help ease the burden of losses such as this, I like to think a simple, helpful thought....God needed them more in heaven right now.
Lucky, You and your family are in our prayers. My wife and I lost our 32 week old boy (Hudson) a year and half ago. It was the hardest time in our lives and I still find myself with a few tears while I am working or just in the garage. My oldest son has helped just to see his smile and see him grow so he has helped us through this. Hang on to your wife and you will make it. Talking about it really helps. Take care and your family isl in our prayers.
wow - I'm sorry. I have a tough time expressing thoughts in situations such as this. Just know that God is with you and that the twins are with Him.
Lucky, I am very sorry for your loss but happy to know that you have another little at home to love. Be strong for him.
A lot of outside support is important at a time like this. I'm starting to get a little older and now have a daughter of my own. Makes me think about a lot of things I didn't back when I was 20 or so like mortality. A guy I work with lost his 19 YO son last year. He said a big thing that helped him through was a lot of support from the crew, guys like the ones posting here.
it seems like the other folks on here are much better with words than i am. there's some really good responses iin here. but what i lack for in ability with words i can make up for with prayers, which i'll do and continue to do. i just can't imagine your pain and have no idea how i would (or even if i could) cope with a tragedy like this. God says He'll not give us any more than we can bear, so let's trust Him to take away some of the pain and heartache so that you can cope with the rest.
Man, there isn't a thing I can think to say, other than God will getcha through this kinda stuff, that life doles out for ya. Hang in there, and know there's a ton of folks out here that would love to meet ya, hang with ya, and do some 12oz. curles with ya. GodSpeed on the recovery.
As told to you earlier, we are holding you up in our prayers. Seek comfort in Him who created you. He knows your pain. r
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. We lost our son Jake (and very nearly my wife too) at 36 weeks. We decided to keep his memory alive and my kids still talk about their brother. Nothing can describe how you feel, I know. I hope that it makes you stronger as a family - it did for us.
Hey... That my friend was very well stated! To Lucky Burton Hang in there... I know somewhat how you feel as we lost our daughter...9 years ago the 19th of this month. Your family will help you.. and you will help your family... My hot rod is kinda a link to our loss www.badlandscoupe.com As stated.. hang in there as we're all pull'n for ya! Pontiac Slim
Lucky, As many and all have said on here, sorry for your loss. It is always hard to loose a loved one. Keep the faith and be sure to keep comunication open bettween you and your family. talking will help ease the pain. and we are all here for you as well.
Like everyone has said, we are like big extended family. We do not just help each other out with car stuff, soometimes we need some emotional support or encouragement in addition to that sought after car part.
I just wanted to say thanks to all who have responded and a special thanks to those who sent me the powerfull PM's. All these kind words mean so much to me and my wife in our time of need... Really from the bottom of my heart, Thank You!..........Lucky
I don't know what it's like to lose a child. I can't imagine. Just keep your head up. It will always stay with you but it will get easier. Lost my dad in Oct. Worst thing I ever been thru. Will always miss him but I believe he's in a better place just like your little ones.. Your in our prayers.
I used to have the same thoughts about asking for prayers on here, but I realized as others have said, this is more than just a message board about Hot Rods, it's a family. Familys are always there for each other no matter what. Hang in there, it will get better with each day. It's amazing how priority's change once you have children. My biggest fear is losing one of my kids. they mean the world to me. Just be thankful you still have your wife and son, and give them an extra hug everyday, and tell them how much they mean to you.
My deepest condolences go out to you. It's a sad thing that happened to you and your family. In times like this I get reaffirmed of what a wonderful friendship/family we have with hot rodding! When someone is struggling we pull together and help any way we can. Where else do people from so many backgrounds come together as close a family as in the car community? You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I am incredibly sorry for your loss! I never respond to these but this hits a cord. I also lost a son who was born premature. Just a little older than yours. That was 1998. We all cope differently but you and your wife are each other's support. You really do not have to talk about it with anyone but her. I still really do not. If I can help either of you pm me. My wife still talks to people about everthing. That helps her cope. Again, if I can help let me know.
Lucky: words cant undo what has happened, and i honestly wish i could offer you something encouraging to help get you through the thousands of "todays" you and your wife have ahead of you. Mama Fiddy and i experianced the same loss of an unborn son six years ago, so i really DO feel your pain. listen, if you ever need someone to talk to, or more to the point with about anything, pick up the phone and dont hesitate. . . 612-385-1184. For family, my line is always open.
The Jalopy Journal
