The Jalopy Journal
Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Boneyard51, Mar 22, 2019.
Boy!!! the liars club is meeting pretty early this month
Just train a monkey to do your dirty work.
I can go on and on about tricks...... The last achievement, which was years ago, led to me wiping the rim of my boss's coffee cup with a ghost pepper.....I tried to be mellow about fun and games........I glued it to his desk first, but the antics didn't stop, so, I went for broke........
Imagine his "joker"face after that...... All the nonsense ended after that one.
Summer, I'm riding around with my pal and as he approached a stop sign I'd tap my fingers on the roof in cadence to the speed. Slower, slower, stop. "What the hell was that?" he said. 'I don't know, what do you mean?' "That noise when I stopped, listen." He took off and I did it again only speeding up in cadence then stop at regular speed. "See, did you hear that?" 'I think I did, I'll listen closer.' Did it again as he stopped. 'You should pull over and we'll check it out.' so he did, then it was of course gone. 'Well lets just pay attention.' Off we go and I waited till we were out of the neighborhood and on a highway. Once back near home I did it again. "See! It's back again, WTF is that?" 'Dude, it might be my fingers.' What? 'yeah, my fingers.' He was little pissy about it so in order to break it all up I grabbed his handbrake right before the stop sign and let it squeal the rear tires. The next time we were out it was dark, we were buzzin a little bit, and I slowly reached over and grabbed his steering wheel and held on tight so he'd think the sterring locked up. That one freaked him out a bit.
A cry baby type next door used to want to be 1st one gone every day. We stashed a cinder block under his rear wheel so naturally his car didn't move. Another time we put a pair of glasses with a dick for a nose on his license plate. He drove around like that for about 3 days. And yet again everyone parked around him so he could leave, so up to the office he went which then prompted everyone to sprint to their cars and disappear when he came back with the manager.
The shop I worked at did a lot of ring and valve jobs while the header pipes were off some one would pour a quart of oil in the pipe. After the car got started and the pipe got hot the smoke would role and it was oh crap what did I do wrong.
Looking back it seems that at times we spent more energy at work pranking each other than anything else.
We had a policy at work that if you gave blood when the Red Cross had a drive going you could take four hours off with pay. I called a guy at home who had just given for the first time. Told him I was doctor so and so and that I found VD in his blood. I needed to know all the people he had sex with for the last month. After some heated conversation as to wether the results were correct he finally admitted that he had never had sex in his life. I had no idea he was a virgin and what made it worse was that half the dept. was listening in on the extension. I felt pretty bad and found out much later that he ripped his phone off the wall after the call. He ended up getting me back several times but no where as deep as that one.
Replaced the coil wire with a matching piece of vacuum hose along with the rubber nipples and a few very fine strands of wire. The engine ran(sort of) drove the man nuts.
The engine would fire and idle(kindof) but would not make any power at all!
Quite a conundrum for some one we didn't care for!
They did an episode of this on "GOMER PYLE, USMC"...
When I was 15, I was shop boy at a welding, blacksmith, radiator, machine shop. One of the mechanics charged up a couple condensers and dropped them in the pockets of my coveralls before I arrived to work. When I came out of the locker room and stuck my hands in my pockets, I was shocked to discover what he had done.
I worked with this guy who bought a new pick up truck. He would park it way in the back so nobody would open a door and nick it up. One wiseguy goes up to the deli and gets a loaf of bread and as soon as he parked the truck, he went around it, breaking up the entire loaf of bread. Being on the south shore, we had seagulls around, flying shit factories. When he came out for lunch, the bread was gone, but the truck was peppered with bird crap from end to end.
Guilty of pulling the carbon center out of a coil wire in high school parking lot. Still can't stand that guy...
My brother used to drink quite a bit and drive, we all did to some extent in 1976 but he was over the top. One night he gets home, parks his truck, goes to bed Me and my friend Mike find a kid's toy stroller out in the trash... the light bulb goes off in our heads. We zip-tie the stroller under the back of his truck, tie some old rags to it, douse it all with ketchup. The next day my brother shows up where we hung out... we ask, what's that under your truck? He goes and looks, 100% certain he had run over a kid in a stroller. It looked convincing and we were upset at his reaction, told him right off it was a prank. It kept him straight for a while and eventually he gave up drinking for good.
Did the newsletter for the car club and there was a for sale section. What with computers, it was easy to create a special edition for a single person who was an AH. Put his car in the for sale section at a very low price and left it out of the one sent to him. He starts getting calls. A couple of others were in on it and offered cash! When he bitched, I asked him to show me his copy of the newsletter with the ad. Of course, he couldn't.
May this admittance be helpful on your journey to becoming guilt free.
No guilt, but the friends that were in on it still get a chuckle out of it.
When I was a kid in Minneapolis the well off people who lived around the city lakes would hire home security rent a cops to patrol around their houses at night. They drove fake cop cars with a badge on the door with the name of the service on the door, and a spot light. There was a 2 block long alley with a stone wall on the inside of the bend with recessed gates to get to the back yards of the lake houses. We would take 2 steel garbage cans and some rope. Put a garbage can between 2 garages on one side, and another can on the other side in the gate cut out in the stone wall. The rope would be strung across the alley just after the bend and tied to the handles of the 2 garbage cans. We would then go to the end of the alley and wait for the rent a cop to drive by. A few eggs on his windshield and we would run down the alley and duck between 2 garages just before the rope. The rent a cop would come flying down the alley trying to catch us and hit the rope and the 2 garbage cans would cave in both front doors of the fake cop car. We never got caught.
GM cars, windshield washer hose in the distributor window.
I had a co-worker who was "thrifty" to the point of being really cheap. One day I JB welded a quarter to the concrete outside my shop door and waited. Peeking around the door I'd see the guy stop and try to pick up that quarter for about 3 days straight. Came to work one day to see it gone. Not sure how he broke it loose.
While I was on vacation I started receiving calls with people saying “ I’ll take your truck and trailer “. I d say what are you talking about? Finally after I got home I went by my place of business on a Main Street and there on my one ton and trailer was a bright orange for sale sign offering my truck and trailer for a thousand dollars( worth at least $8000). When I got back to the fire dept I told my helper about it and his face turned beet red! I knew I had found the culprit! He went on to tell me it was a “ conspiracy “ involving several of my “ friends”. It was among the best times I have been “ got”.
^^^^^ If you've never heard the story. Look up Bruce Meyer’s 935 K3 ‘Impounded’ in Elaborate Prank.
Wow now that is a prank!!! Not sure if the pranksters would still be friends of mine after that
Dribble a little oil under the transmission or engine. We all know a guy who is anal enough to look under his vehicle a lot for leaks. It does not take a bunch a quart looks like a gallon in the concrete.
I don't doubt that someone has mentioned this but a potato in the exhaust pips is always good for a laugh.
Here is one that I know no one has done. Lift the distributer cap and draw a pencil line between the contacts. Graphite is a good conductor.
Oh and last but not least. A large wire tie tied around the drive shaft. It makes a hell of a racket slapping against the floor boards but really does no harm.
Ok, I'll own up to a bit of a nasty prank... Back in high school, one of the arrogant AH jocks bought (with Daddy's money) a really nice mild custom '55 Chev convertible, hopped-up 327, 4-speed, etc. He brags all over school that he had the only really cool car, all the rest of us were losers. Nobody was allowed to even touch it unless he said so. He'd park it so no one could hurt it, but would block people in when he did this. After a week or so of putting up with this crap, myself and a buddy decided to fix his wagon... so to speak... LOL.
We sneak out to the parking lot between classes and pull out his rotor. Now, we just didn't leave it out; instead we put some clear tape on the top of the steel spring that contacts the distributor cap, then trimmed it with a razor blade so that it disappeared, then reinstalled it.
We made a point of getting out to the parking lot as soon as school was out. This guy would take his time, he liked his 'captive' audience to watch him leave. Car won't start... He grinds the battery until it's nearly dead. Did I mention this guy really didn't know squat about cars? Other people start bitching they need to go, if he can't get it going then it needs to be pushed out of the way. It gets ignominiously pushed out into the street, accompanied with catcalls and jeers from the much larger by now audience. The guy is very embarrassed/pissed at this point. Everyone leaves except for some of his jock buddies.
We cruise by about 40 minutes later. One of his buddies is under the hood, it still won't start. We come by after another 30 minutes, now they're trying to push start it (pushing by hand) in the road, we watch them try about 4-5 times, still no start. Come by after another 30 minutes, the car is parked, him and his buddies are gone.
Next morning coming in to school, the car is gone from where it was parked and doesn't turn up at school either. No show the next day too. The third day it's back, but he's now parking like everybody else and is subject to a lot of ribbing. He's uncharacteristically quiet, doesn't want to talk about this or his car.
My buddy and I never said a word to anybody else about what we did. We heard much later (from a ex-GF) that his dad had it towed to a shop where they figured it out, told dad, and dad told him if he pissed off somebody again like this the car would be gone...
LIKE X 3 ^^^^^^^^^^^
We had a guy at work in the maintenance dept that loved to prank everyone, so one day at break time I was eating a cup of apple sauce that had a Disney character on the peel off cover, this one had Launchpad McQuack on it so I stuck it to the back of his hard hat, he wore it around the plant for 2 days with everyone calling him Launchpad before he found the little addition to his hardhat! He was duly pissed that he had been gotten! He was having troubles with chemical pumps he was rebuilding that he tried brazing up the shafts and turning them down to repair the worn seal area that would not last and finally got permission to buy new shaft and he was so pleased with himself and would walk by the pump sevral times a day just to see it no longer leaking until one of the guys poured a little chemical over the shaft and underneath the pump and he went sailing to the office and called the pump mfr complaing about it not holding.......he didn't get over that gotya for a long time!
Hell it was a plot in a Gomer pyle episode, Sarge sold his car to Pyle and it got great gas mileage, they put gas in the tank, then Sarge had to have it back so they took gas out of the tank and the mileage went in the dumpper.
Co worker would brag all day long about his amazing garden. Someone snuck in and spray painted all the tomatoes green. Guy waited all summer for them to ripen.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
We had a Chief that would come into the fire station and help himself to any thing in the refrigerator with out asking, he just figured he was entitled to it because of his rank.
Some brownies were made with several boxes of ex-lax.
You can fill in the rest!
Another time a firefighter wrapped some horseshit in some aluminum foil and put his name on it and puts it in the refrigerator.
Another firefighter complains to the Captain about it. Captain calls first firefighter in for reprimand...... the first firefighter asks the second firefighter and the Captain how he knew what was in the foil since it had the first firefighters name on it?
Second firefighter got the reprimand!
the cable co. i work for ,a contractor pissed off the wrong person . he came out to oreo cookies opened and stuck all over his truck. genius
Separate names with a comma.