Top excuses you tell your wife!

Don’t be a pussy get your balls out of her purse and get them back, if you have to make up excuses it will never last . I divorced the first one because of that .I don’t have to ask my new wife of 18 years for anything no excuses needed here she is the best wife a man could have ..Lucky me...

 

There are rules about this. Anytime you buy something and she asks what it costs, you need to tell her 25% the cost of what you actually paid. It's even better to say that it belongs to someone else and you're just storing it for a friend.

 

they are where they should be... thats the problem... you spent what!! whack.. daangg it. just kidding.. no, we have a dont ask dont tell kinda thing going on... I told her if the bills are paid.. money is in the bank... and parts are coming in... its better for you and me if you just dont ask... cause im not gonna lie to ya.. ive been learning how to play the game.. so far Ive been getting her into it by letter her pick colors she likes... which.. blows my original semi gloss black out of the picture.. it isnt "pretty" lol. but she has kicked in and bought a few parts for me for surprises and birthdays and what not... however in the early days.. it was you spend 50 dollars on what! you did what! I hate that truck.. blah blah. so im in a much better place... funny thing is she felt the same way about Tivo... now she loves tivo.. no live tv.which sucks because my cable isnt HD.. and I like to watch HD over the air so .. o well. thats another story.

 

No Problems. My wife has bought the wire welder & plasma cutter, the cherry picker & the Anglia project. Things like that keep me in the garage & out of trouble. Now if I would get off my ass & finish her A sedan one of these days.

 

My wife bought the 2 car garage for me to put my toys in ! Went to a big car show and saw the Eastwood tent and she filled my shopping cart up plus with tools and stuff to do my projects . Went shopping at the local mall where a Sears is and there was a big tool sale so she asked what I needed , well a compressor , power tools , 3 piece tool box and not the cheap shit either and some hand tools later we went home then out for dinner ! We go to car shows and have fun together too !
She is damn good to me ! Gotta be smart and after 26+ years of marriage what else can I say ! I got me a real great car lady ! I guess I am just real lucky !

 

Wife says - "What's the idea of coming home half drunk?!"

You say - "Ran out of fucking money"

My wife never says anything when she finds out what I bought...she brings shit up when I complain about the cost of something for the kids or her.

" You can spend thousands of dollars on those cars but when I ask for $500 for your daughters clothes you complain."

If she only knew what I really spent........

 

Not tonight honey I have a headache !! That'll teach her !! >>>>.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA i just spit soda all over my LCD....

 

I usually have somethigng stashed away.. if not check to see if things are tight or not, or if we can blow alittle cash..the wife has been really cool about alot of my projects, hell she bought my first harley 10 years ago..picked it out ,said this looks like a good year.. showed me.. and got it..and still got it,a 1968 xlch sportster with the mag and kick only.. course now she perfers to ride on the back of the roadking so her ass doesnt go numb!. most times I sell somethign off I dotn want or need to fund a new project.. hell I'm still trying to do that now.. anyone need a o/t 1968 f100 shortbed project?

 

I say thanks honey! WHen are you getting that bonus?

 

" thats not stripper glitter on my shirt , i was spraying metalflake , i SWEAR ! "

 

"Honey....I need to talk to you.I have been sleeping with your sisters, and your boss's wife. I also spent all of our bill money on hookers and hotel rooms." Wait three seconds...."Baby baby I'm just playin, but I did spend a couple (insert money here) for (insert part here). She'll realize it could be worse and cut you some slack. Then again...I have been divorced before, haha.Seriously, talk about the big items and work it into the budget. The small things you can do on your own, and it shouldn't be a big deal. That has to go both ways. If that is an issue...ya needs ta put her in check. haha.

 

Hmmm, my hobby is fueled strictly with overtime money. It doesn't affect the family budget.

 

WOW.

 

wonder how long you can hold out?.. lol depends on what that part is I guess.

 

Honey, I have to go now!!!! Joe called again and his car fell of the jack stands....again and he needs my help now!

 

Blah blah part cost blah blah...
And SOMEDAY Honey I'll FINISH the project!

 

Told my queen once that I was going out to the farm to pick up some parts.....My old aunt lived next door to us at the time and I would use her driveway in the back to strip stuff. Wifey saw the tow truck pull in the back alley and came out jst as I was unloading a 56 Pontiac Laurentian four door hardtop. My excuse was : I brought the parts in to town. It's just that they were still on the car.....

 

There's a book that says a good idea is buying multiples of the same thing in the same color, then park them in different places and rotate as needed. It's about tractors so it doesn't apply as well but it probably couldn't hurt...right?

 

aww.. thats no fun.

 

"i can make money on it" but never really sell it, hence jam packed garage.

 

Heeeaaayyy, Welcome back Fonz!!!

 

Met my wife in high school, 1964. We spent weekends at Union Grove drag strip, ( Great Lakes Dragway ). Got married in 1969, sold my 57 Chev. to get down payment for first house, sold a 47 Ford to buy another house, that's how it's been with us. We do what we have to to get the things that are important to both of us. She has never questioned money I've spent on cars because she, well, she just knows that if it ain't there it ain't there. Been married 40 years this October, one checking account, one savings account, no secrets. More people should try it, it works. Oh yeah for my 61st birthday this May she bought me a stainless 32 grille insert for the hot rod were building now. Life is Good!!!!!

 

no problem, just tell her you will do what you want, when you want..
been married almost 48 yrs.........works for me........

but then , she gets the same deal for her too...

 

I got this on sale!!! You wouldn't beleive how much money I just saved!!!

 

My wife is a quilter! She doesn't check with me when she buys a Bernina for 12 grand, so my recent purchases of a pair of English Strombergs didn't even register on the radar!

 

"Honey, I can always part it out if we really need the money. Why, the parts alone you can see from here are worth more"


She's trumped my son and me once, though. Went something like this:

Did I hear Andrew say it's an automatic?
Yes.
Is it an automatic?
Yes.
Then that one is MINE.

 

My wife refers to Hot Rod stuff as porn. She says you cannot just go out and buy the stuff without thinking about the repercussions. Surely in the back of your mind is the thought of " I really shouldn't be doing this". Just like porn. When my freshly machined crank fell on her toe it wasn't "your freak'n crank" she screamed. It was "your freak'n porn fell over and busted my toe". Yes my porn parts stay indoors.

 

Ok, I'm 60 and have been married forever. Here is the only way to do it for larger purchases. Smart cookie or not, this works. See, it's not the price you pay for something, it's it's what it costs to own it. You have to have the $$ in the bank to do this.
Let's say you want a $10,000 car. You explain to her that you really didn't want to buy it but it was such a deal you couldn't turn it down and that you could easily sell it for the same price two years later.

Therefore, your cost is technically zero since you "could" sell it for what you paid for it. Then explain the only cost will be loss of interest on the money you had that is now not earning interest. And rates today are very low so lets say $10,000 for two years earns a mere 1.5% annually in the bank for a total interest "cost" of $300.
So you got a great deal on a car you can later sell and break even. The car then only cost the lost interest of $300, not $10,000. That's all. And if you could sell it for $10,500 it would actually PAY you $200 to buy the car and oh, if you could only find more deals like this. A great car for only $300. Imagine.

Say as you will, this has generally worked for decades with mulitple women and only an occasional glance of suspicion. The smarter they are the better it seems to work. Reveal these details in my presence and you better be wearing a protective cup.

 

Not tonight dear I gotta wet sand.