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Art & Inspiration The truth may set you free.

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by 34Larry, May 28, 2019.

  1. 34Larry
    Joined: Apr 25, 2011
    Posts: 727


    I'm wondering how common it is not to tell the better half of the real true cost of parts & other stuff that I pay for on my 34. Like the Edlebrock carbs I just installed. All told and out the door they came to a thousand plus. She came out to the garage at lunch with a cup of soup and a sandwich while I was putt'n em on and asked what they were and how much they cost. I told her what they are, and said less, and told her, than half of what I forked out. During my 22 year rebuild of the car that happened a lot. Kinda felt guilty about that and still do on occasion.
    So how big of a jerk am I compared to you all out there in doing this?
    My best bud repeats quite often the old saying about kicking off and she sells his ride for what he told her he has in it.
  2. anthony myrick
    Joined: Sep 4, 2009
    Posts: 4,255

    anthony myrick
    from al

    just tell em

    they cant stay mad forever, eventually they stop asking
  3. F-ONE
    Joined: Mar 27, 2008
    Posts: 1,772

    from Alabama

    Just tell her what it cost and afterwards tell her to fix you some tea with plenty of ice and scramble up some supper.
  4. I learn a long time ago once you start lying it's hard to remember the lie and you just dig a deeper hole, I don't lie to my wife and don't fear any repercussions at a later date.

    The number one reason people lie is to avoid conflict, tell the truth and have a clear conscience. HRP
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  5. KoolKat-57
    Joined: Feb 22, 2010
    Posts: 2,784

    from Dublin, OH

    I am truly Blessed to have the wife I have!
    For nearly 46 years she has supported my insanity and almost never complains about anything!
  6. 6sally6
    Joined: Feb 16, 2014
    Posts: 573


    Have a separate "hot rod account". Better than lying to the woman you will be together with the rest of y'alls life.
    You should feel bad!

    Still tell'er to "fix me a samich and arn my shirt!"
    Joined: Sep 5, 2007
    Posts: 1,350


    A guy's biggest dread is, if he passes first, his spouse will sell his stuff for what he told her he paid for it :D
  8. 41rodderz
    Joined: Sep 27, 2010
    Posts: 2,461

    from Oregon

    I tell her what I bought and what I payed and we both keep on keeping on. She is a teacher , so she spends money on school supplies , buys kids winter coats and sticks money in kids lunch accounts. We enjoy it . We do things together like secret Santa for families and sponsor three kids , so it all works out in the wash.
  9. Casey Riley
    Joined: Jun 27, 2018
    Posts: 346

    Casey Riley

    It's better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission...
  10. Petejoe
    Joined: Nov 27, 2002
    Posts: 9,953

    from Zoar, Ohio

    I can go to my wife’s closet and pull out something I know is brand new and ask her if it was new.
    Her answer is always. “I’ve had that”
    Never says for how long.
    I normally am pretty honest of the money I put into them.
    But I do normally try to sell something to offset the cost.
  11. gene-koning
    Joined: Oct 28, 2016
    Posts: 1,214


    We discuss the price of everything over $100 before ordering or purchase. That includes household and car related stuff. Its our finances, not her's, and not mine.
    The car hobby is funded by extra work I do, after all the household bills have been paid. There have been more times then I can remember where she will help with buying expensive parts beyond what was in the car fund. Along the same lines, there have been times when the car fund helped us get through an emergency that may have come up. I couldn't do this stuff without her help. Gene
  12. Doublepumper
    Joined: Jun 26, 2016
    Posts: 360


    My wife learned a long time ago not to ask, but me being the honest guy that I am :) always let her know what things cost if the conversation should come up. For me it's not just my money I'm spending on projects, but our money, so I'm conscious of what it takes to keep a comfort zone monetarily for the two of us. I've been married to her for 36 years now and have found this to be a good way to keep a happy wife and me a happy life. Honesty is the best policy.
  13. williebill
    Joined: Mar 1, 2004
    Posts: 2,346


    As I sat across from my ex-wifes divorce attorney being deposed for my divorce, I realized that the truth can get you hanged by the neck until you are dead, too.
    He asked for a itemized list of everything hobby related, when I bought it, and what it was worth now, INCLUDING stuff that predated her by 10 years or more.
    He didn't get it.
    In a perfect world, I prefer honesty. I've never lived there. Every marriage is different.
  14. Atwater Mike
    Joined: May 31, 2002
    Posts: 9,513

    Atwater Mike

    My lovely young wife has been different than my former two. (Whew! Like night and day!) She was a customer with a car problem that became hyper interested in the hot rods at my shop, 2 months later was doing pre-assembly of engines, carburetor rebuilding (started with Weber 3 bbls., then Holley, Rochester, Edelbrock)
    Girl was an information magnet. Hands of a surgeon.
    In 1983, I 'committed'. We were married, had 2 daughters, and I needed to resume my 'build'.
    Wife Joey planned a budget to buy my '27 tub, '32 rails, and many more...I am back on the 'horse', have my own credit card acc'ts, and I DO mention to her the next big thing...
    (like she wouldn't know ANYWAY!) She went to pick up my Chrysler hemi (bequeathed to me in a dead friend's will) and was excited to get in Hot Hemi Heads' catalog.
    I wanted to get the aluminum front timing cover and aluminum Chev water pump 'kit', but she reminded me that my son is a friend of Peter...(who is the mfr. of the Hot Hemi Heads parts, right here in San Jose area!)
    She also had info about DELTA cams in Washington...(they did a 406 solid as well as a Winfield grind for my flathead.)
    Nooo... the LAST thing I'd do is steal from:
    1. my lover
    2. my partner
    3. my girls' mother
  15. chrisp
    Joined: Jan 27, 2007
    Posts: 750


    My wife doesn't ask me because I don't touch the household money, I trade and I work extra for the car stuff. Sometimes I feel bad because she is super frugal and I spend way more than her. Oh and I never tell her to fix me super because she ain't my servant.
  16. 41rodderz
    Joined: Sep 27, 2010
    Posts: 2,461

    from Oregon

    You are a lottery winner , my friend :) You have the best of both worlds.
    chryslerfan55 and wicarnut like this.
  17. Lying to your wife is never a good idea.
    Turn it around-- Is it OK for her to lie to you regarding how much she spent on starbucks/shoes/manicure/etc?:oops:

    A better solution that works for my bride (of 29 years) and me:
    Invite her to buy you the cool car stuff as a gift for Christmas, Fathers Day, birthday,...
    That way she won't be suspicious and you'll still get the cool stuff. :)
  18. fordflambe
    Joined: Apr 9, 2007
    Posts: 350

    from Houston

    My personal experience...........If I keep my better half happy with the things she needs, it is a whole lot easier for her to understand what I am doing on my me lucky?
  19. Oldioron
    Joined: Dec 12, 2018
    Posts: 720


    I never told my exwife anything!:)
    Three Widow's Garage likes this.
  20. el Scotto
    Joined: Mar 3, 2004
    Posts: 4,062

    el Scotto
    from Tracy, CA

    I have girlfriends and not a wife so it ain’t their business.
  21. brokedownbiker
    Joined: Jun 7, 2016
    Posts: 309


    No wife, no problem. I spend what I want, when I want. It was different when I was married and raising kids but, even then, we both worked and kept separate accounts with a shared household account. She had her hobbies and I had mine; both of our accounts were much smaller when the kids were still underfoot.
    chryslerfan55, Deuces and seb fontana like this.
  22. Jalopy Joker
    Joined: Sep 3, 2006
    Posts: 22,410

    Jalopy Joker

    I don't even want to know what stuff costs, why would she unless you require a tight household budget of her then spend that on car parts
  23. RMONTY
    Joined: Jan 7, 2016
    Posts: 1,300


    I had a wife that called my hobby car "the other woman". Notice I said "had"!
  24. BJR
    Joined: Mar 11, 2005
    Posts: 5,553


    I told my wife what it was going to cost before I bought the parts. We are almost in agreement as to the division of assets for the divorce, so don't listen to me!:eek:
    chryslerfan55 and Deuces like this.
  25. redo32
    Joined: Jul 16, 2008
    Posts: 1,450


    Years ago my wife helped with the books for the shop. She asked "What's this check to Mehalich for?" I said "It's for some really neat wheels for the "32." "Kind of expensive!" "That's a deposit."!! She bought a Fink grille for it for Christmas.
  26. X-cpe
    Joined: Mar 9, 2018
    Posts: 571


    But not forever can be a long, long time.

    Forgiveness better not be for lying. That breaks the trust and that leads to ex-wives which bring a loss of the car and the place to build it.
  27. Ancient Chinese saying- "Man who bullshits about stuff will find that eventually the bullshit will turn around and bite him on the arse". My missus never asks, but I would tell her the truth if she did. If she ever complained about it, I would say that instead I shall spend my money on booze, hookers and dope.
  28. I guess you meant the truth may SET you free...yeah, I am anal...

    I also have a split personality so my "better half" is still me and I can't hide a damn thing from myself.....
  29. If the money you spend does not effect the family budget explain what you have bought and she will do the same, but if your taking food off the table you need to stop buying car parts.
  30. Rusty O'Toole
    Joined: Sep 17, 2006
    Posts: 8,959

    Rusty O'Toole

    The Bible says the truth will set you free but it doesn't say it will make you happy.

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