Register now to get rid of these ads!

Folks Of Interest The things in life that make cars seem not as important.

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Dog Dish Deluxe, Mar 10, 2012.

  1. Dog Dish Deluxe
    Joined: Dec 23, 2011
    Posts: 778

    Dog Dish Deluxe
    BANNED
    from MO.

    I don't want to start one of those sympathy or empathy threads here, just clearing my mind. I never know what to say to anyone in a position like this except the generic things like "sorry" and all that, Just wanted to clear my head.

    I just got back from the hospital with the wife. She has been pregnant for 17 weeks now and we found out yesterday morning that the baby's heart had stopped. After two days of dealing with battling grandmas, a gun threat to the hospital, and tons of other drama it's hard to process your feelings from holding your dead son in your hands thats no bigger than your hand and noticing his little body starting to decay in front of you. along the same lines as watching my grandmother slowly but peacefully die a few weeks back from pneumonia as her respiratory system and liver sopped working.

    These things make it hard to put so much emphasis on thinking about cars 24/7 but I guess that at some point the cars are one of the things that distract us from life and keep us going.

    Thanks cars.
     
  2. Willy301
    Joined: Nov 16, 2007
    Posts: 1,426

    Willy301
    Member

    It is life's little distractions that sometimes allows your mind to leave all the sad thoughts behind, even if for only a few minutes. It is part of the healing process, and is healthy. My sympathies to you and your wife for the loss, and the added stress of the drama that played out.
     
  3. Dog Dish Deluxe
    Joined: Dec 23, 2011
    Posts: 778

    Dog Dish Deluxe
    BANNED
    from MO.

    thanks man. I just wish the drama would STOP playing out.:rolleyes:
     
  4. Don's Hot Rods
    Joined: Oct 7, 2005
    Posts: 8,319

    Don's Hot Rods
    Member
    from florida

    Life can be both a bitch at times and wonderful at other times. You just have to accept that fact and let the good times heal you from the bad ones.

    So very sorry for your loss, it must have been horrible. But time does heal . That will fall on deaf ears now, but all of us who have been through terrible things in our life can tell you it will happen.

    As for the family thing, as cruel as it sounds, your only family now is you and your Wife. The two of you should be your main concern. If the rest of the family is causing problems, cut the cord for a while so that it doesn't destroy your relationship. It is a decision both you and your Wife have to make together and stand strong.

    Best of luck to you and your Wife.

    Don
     
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2012
    Register now to get rid of these ads!

  5. TinShed
    Joined: Mar 3, 2011
    Posts: 547

    TinShed
    Member

    Sorry for your loss, I can't imagine the pain you and your wife feel.:(
     
  6. JeffreyJames
    Joined: Jun 13, 2007
    Posts: 16,605

    JeffreyJames
    Member
    from SUGAR CITY

    So very very sorry DDD. I can't tell you how many people I hear from that have miscarriages and even though that doesn't help your situation you should know you're not alone. I can't imagine how incredibly hard it is for you guys and all I can say is that I'll be praying for you and your wife. You've got some deep deep consoling to do with your wife I'm sure. Your baby is in good hands I believe that with all my heart buddy.


    When the time is right, try to become parents once again. It's a worth fighting for....


    Again so so sorry.
     
  7. Soviet
    Joined: Sep 4, 2005
    Posts: 727

    Soviet
    Member

    Cars are the one thing that to me have had a certain amount of order and function. The rest of life - just far too chaotic. Hang in there, even the worst of storms blow over in time.
     
  8. JeffreyJames
    Joined: Jun 13, 2007
    Posts: 16,605

    JeffreyJames
    Member
    from SUGAR CITY

    Also when my son was in the hospital at 9 days old in critical condition I felt guilty looking at the HAMB during the down time at night while my wife stayed with him in the PICU but I knew that I needed to get my mind elsewhere for just a few minutes to "reset" so that I could be there the way I needed and wanted to be for my family. It's healthy I think and like stated above, part of the healing process.
     
  9. 296moon
    Joined: Oct 24, 2007
    Posts: 650

    296moon
    Member
    from england

    Don said it right, from me too Moon,x
     
  10. hkestes
    Joined: May 19, 2007
    Posts: 553

    hkestes
    Member
    from Plano, TX

    Dog Dish,

    Sorry to hear of your loss and will keep you and your family in my prayers. I will also post a link to your thread on the HAMB Chapel as well.
     
  11. Dog Dish Deluxe
    Joined: Dec 23, 2011
    Posts: 778

    Dog Dish Deluxe
    BANNED
    from MO.

    I should thank the HAMB too, for giving me a little distraction. She needs me so Im going to bed now. Thsnks guys.
     
  12. speedyb
    Joined: May 12, 2010
    Posts: 484

    speedyb
    Member
    from socal

    Very sorry for your loss, god bless.
     
  13. tommyd
    Joined: Dec 10, 2010
    Posts: 11,395

    tommyd
    Member
    from South Indy

    Hey, it's good to get it out there. I think we go through life thinking that stuff like this happens to everyone else and not us. Thing is, life happens to all of us and the way we handle it is different for each one of us. I have a feeling that you are a strong man and that you will come out of this ok. I can tell you feel worse for your wife than for yourself. Keep a close eye on her, this will effect her deeply and take some time for you too. My daughter lost her first two children and it just about did her in. She has since had two more boys with no problems. Seems like she is always encouraging couples who have been in the same situation so she and her husbands pain has helped them to reach out to others. Prayers sent for you and your family tonight.
     
  14. BISHOP
    Joined: Jul 16, 2006
    Posts: 2,572

    BISHOP
    Member

    Attitude is everything. Its that simple.

    Keep strong for the wife, show good attitude, everything else falls into place.
     
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2012
  15. cars are not important they are just something to occupy your time and mind between all the bullshit this life has to offer they help you clear your thoughts and organise them so you dont go out and do somthing stupid

    soo very sorry for ou and your wifes loss payers are with you
     
  16. So very sorry for your loss. Cars are a good distraction to keep your mind busy, but most important is you and your wifes relationship to work through tough issues, and losses you suffer in life. Keep your head up, and hope momma is doing ok.
     
  17. A Rodder
    Joined: Jul 13, 2008
    Posts: 2,477

    A Rodder
    Member

    My wife has had three miscarriages, they all were devestating. Since then we have adopted four boys, then had a baby who is 14 months and now are 11 weeks pregnant.

    The Lord works mysteriously sometimes.

    Be there for you wife like you know how, let others be there for you. Even if it be five minutes on the Hamb as JJ said, whoever. Your wife is the only thing that should matter right now. Sounds like you recognize that. It does get better, I promise.

    Praying for you and your wife,
     
  18. fleet-master
    Joined: Sep 29, 2010
    Posts: 1,770

    fleet-master
    Member

    hold each other tight...be sure she knows you don't blame her. yes maybe keep your families at a distance for a while, don't feel guilty bout hanging on the Hamb but put her first.
    May God bless you both and keep you strong. Really sorry for your loss.

    remember your not alone...
     
  19. cvstl
    Joined: Apr 15, 2009
    Posts: 1,453

    cvstl
    Member
    from StL MO
    1. H.A.M.B. Chapel

    So sorry DDD. Praying for you, your wife and family.
     
  20. wetatt4u
    Joined: Nov 4, 2006
    Posts: 2,147

    wetatt4u
    Member

    My prayers to you and your wife.

    Sorry ....
     
  21. Sorry man, I know what it feels like. This is one thread I can relate to. We lost a boy after our first child a girl. God has his plans and today we have a girl and two sons, That loss is still with us. The second boy was born in the same month that the one we lost.
    Hand in there man prayers for you this sunday.
     
  22. i know its hard but this is the most important time to make time to heal together . .
     
  23. Irish Dan
    Joined: Jan 19, 2006
    Posts: 1,231

    Irish Dan
    Member

    After my oldest son died unexpectedly at 28, I locked up the garage, and rarely went back in it for almost two years. Just couldn't seem to get the energy up to do anything. Please accept my condolences for your loss.
     
  24. 48FordFanatic
    Joined: Feb 26, 2011
    Posts: 1,336

    48FordFanatic
    Member
    from Maine

    Sorry to hear of your loss. Stay strong.
     
  25. grazy
    Joined: Jun 21, 2008
    Posts: 223

    grazy
    Member

    Be there for her you held him for her you held him for a few moments she held him longer. She felt responsible for his care and well being. She will feel like he was lost under her watch.She will not be able to understand how he is gone but she is here kinda a survivors guilt type thing its a rough thing . We had friends end up devorced after a lose like that. He could'nt understand why she took it so hard. I lost a child the same way.So I rode that same boat.People dont know what to say or how to say it .Its a rough uncomfortable road you will make it though. When you are grieveing you wont feel like doing anything later all you will want to do is smash stuff.Take care of her and treat her like a Queen this will pass with time .She is just as irreplacable and could be lost just as quickly.You have friends here cheering for you. God Bless You Both.
     
  26. grazy
    Joined: Jun 21, 2008
    Posts: 223

    grazy
    Member

    Be there for her you held him for her you held him for a few moments she held him longer. She felt responsible for his care and well being. She will feel like he was lost under her watch.She will not be able to understand how he is gone but she is here kinda a survivors guilt type thing its a rough thing . We had friends end up devorced after a lose like that. He could'nt understand why she took it so hard. I lost a child the same way.So I rode that same boat.People dont know what to say or how to say it .Its a rough uncomfortable road you will make it though. When you are grieveing you wont feel like doing anything later all you will want to do is smash stuff.Take care of her and treat her like a Queen this will pass with time .She is just as irreplacable and could be lost just as quickly.You have friends here cheering for you. God Bless You Both.
     
  27. EZ Cool
    Joined: Nov 17, 2011
    Posts: 260

    EZ Cool
    Alliance Vendor

    Be strong for your wife. She needs you now more than ever. You two will get through it in time and be happy again.
     
  28. rztrike
    Joined: Apr 20, 2009
    Posts: 145

    rztrike
    Member

    I am sorry. I to am going through a bad time. When I go up to the shop all I see is junk. When we are at our weakest is when when are truly the strongest. This is what keeps us going. Stay strong and continue to believe
     
  29. Sorry for your loss- the wife and I have been through 3 miscarriages since having our first. I dont know you, but I will pray for you to have the strength you need to make it through this.

    Like all pain, it will get better with time.

    My wife is 17 weeks right now, and I have to take the day off from work every time she has an ultra sound Im so damn nervous.

    I know what you mean about more important things in life. I would never touch a hot rod/ muscle car again if it meant not having to see my wife go through everything she has the last few years.
     
  30. damagedduck
    Joined: Jun 16, 2011
    Posts: 2,342

    damagedduck
    Member
    from Greeley Co

    i really don't know what to say,but i'm sorry for your loss,the car sh*t can wait! but your wife & family need you more than us,we will be here when you need us, my kids are why i was away from the car scene for so long,3 high risk pregnancies the stress of life crushing me down,stay strong!-chuck
     

Share This Page

Register now to get rid of these ads!

Archive

Copyright © 1995-2020 The Jalopy Journal: Steal our stuff, we'll kick your teeth in. Terms of Service. Privacy Policy.

Atomic Industry
Forum software by XenForo™ ©2010-2014 XenForo Ltd.