The Jalopy Journal
Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Mike Zenor, Jan 18, 2006.
I'd like to see that slant six.
Let's see the Indians.
My favorite was the first time I took my 39 Dodge to the Fuddruckers in Lake Forfest for the cruise. Mind you there's a lot of high dollar cars at this show, well almost all high dollar cars. I had one side of the hood propped up and was eating my burger on the lawn behind the car. Two greybeards walk around the car and as they're walking away I hear them say "Wow, what a piece of shit car that is. It's a shame they wasted a good 426 hemi in that thing. Funny, I didn't know Red Rams came in 426 cubes . . .
man this is a good thread i can realate to GOTGAS i was spotting cars from a young age and believe or not after asking an itelligent question to some old guy how much of an asshole they were acting like i dont know shit.
My best story is when I had a VW bug and the new beetle was just out and i was sitting in one checking it out at a car show and the salesman asks me if I am interested in one i say "to buy?" he says yes I say no i allready have a bug but its an old one. he asks waht year so i tell him. "1961" he says ohh thats when they first started making them... ijust say uhh ya i can never think of anything smart ass that quick..later i thought i should have said somthing like "TRY 1939 DUMB FUCK!" then go off on a rant about how he doesnt even know anything about a car he is trying to sell and so forth and what pond he ws born in and if evolution was painful.....
I used to be into the minitruck scene and I was letting some kids hit my switches for my bags at a gas station and the two people working there came running out and the female screamed "Look! A dancing car!!!" and the guy, in a pissed off voice walked away saying "Damn Mexicans!" I'm not mexican either. I'm white. Very white.
I always get the question with my '27 track roadster "Is that legal for the street, it is so small, it looks like a go-cart". I try to tell them that back in 1927 cars were smaller and that this one is narrowed down to represent the cars that would have raced on dirt tracks and at the dry lakes. Then the reply " I hope you don't get pulled over in that".
The other one, I had a guy who owns a semi alignment shop come with a portable alignment machine to the shop to align my '63 Falcon stright axle altered wheelbase. He looks at the car, then looks some more and says" whoever welded up the front end didn't even align it under the wheel well opening, it is moved to the front a little." I said 'look at the back". He says "yeah, your right, they screwed that one up too, it's like the whole body and frame are moved ahead." I tried to explain what the car was but his final words were " I'll align the straight axle once you get the axle reset correct under the opening." Oh well.
I used to dread doing displays w/ our race car, you always had a guy whose dad used to "drive his Funny Car to college," "Uncle that has a 5 Second Pro Stocker," "Motor just like that in my Camaro" (this was a 5 second George Santos style, PSI blown small block Chevy) or my favorite, "Where do you sit?" (which was cool if a kid or woman asked, but a grown man!!!?)
I do miss those Hooters displays though...
I was out shakin down a 34 Packard Club Sedan. Decent car, big, quiet. So we stop and get some gas in it and this "southern" guy walks up and says in the most classic accent..."atssa biggest gudamm A model I ever seen." I just nodded and left him be.
In the days of my 70 'Cuda if I had $1 for everytime I heard my uncle, brother, dad, neighbor, whatever, had that EXACT same car...just like the one on Vanishing point! The "same color" thing was always entertaining as well...it was Porsche red with frost blue pearl. Whatever...if ignorance is bliss there sure are a lot of happy people.
I have a guy who comes in the shop i work at who insist's on calling my 33 pick up a dune buggy.
I corrected him a couple time's in a nice way, but he still does it.
This fella drive's a pimped out cady with the bigger rims etc...
Obviously he's proud of his ride..
So, I now call his cadillac a cavalier.
He ask's me how my dune buggy is doing, i say great, how's the cavalier treating you?..
he hasn't called the truck a dune buggy in a little while now..
This is a great thread, lots of knuckleheads out there. Most of 'em just want to be friendly and appear knowledgeable. Some are just ignorant and don't know when to stfu. My coupe gets alot of attention wherever I go and I enjoy that. People ask, what year's your roadster? I say it's a '32five window coupe. But it's got six windows, they reply. Yep and a 3 window's got 4, go figure. Is it all stock they wonder. Yes 'cept for the flames on the hood and the 327 4 speed, I say. They say, Too bad, you should restore it. My uncle had a Model A just like yours. I'm sure he did. My niece asks, Can we go for a ride in your truck? She thinks it's a truck 'cause it's got running boards. Now she's six and calls it a hot dog. She loves it whatever it is. My wife wouldn't ride in it at first 'cause it was "loud fast and obnoxious." Exactly why I bought it. Now she loves it, but still complains about smelling like gas. A bunch of us had the the hot rods out on the way to a '97s meet and we stopped at an old time diner for breakfast. We saw these two elderly ladies checking out the cars out on the street. My brother whispers in an old lady voice "Lookit that old Ford, I lost my virginity in one of those.." LOAO. Another time, my buddy and me were in his car coming through the toll booth and the guy says "Nice car, what year is that, a '39?" You're close, it's a '32.
My brother has a very correct '57 vette. He got a little upset when a some "jack-ass," (his words) insisted the color (Aztec Copper) wasn't original 'cause they only came in red. Other know-it-alls insist that two carbs aren't stock or the engine should be a six cylinder 'cause this was the first year for corvette. You wouldn't mind the dopey comments, but your at a car event. You think people would have clue. I love it when I overhear a guy point out the hemi to his buddy when it says ARDUN on the valve covers. Or those new Olds valve covers that fit a small block chevy, that confuses a lot of people. I was at a cruise nite last summer and these two supposed "car guys" were arguing if they were looking at a sbf or sbc. I'm like DOH! I explained, politely, well the distributors in the back so it's a chevy. They look at me funny like, are you sure? My buddy has a couple of teens Pierce Arrows, and these things attract alot of attention. These early cars confuse alot of people. "Why is the steering wheel on the wrong side, is it english?" is the most common question. Do you drive this on the highway? How fast will it go? And how come everyone wants to know how much is it worth. One horror story he told about being on the highway. This family in a minivan pulls up alongside, waving and honking, thumbs up, checking it out. The guy is drifting closer and closer and forces my buddy into the breakdown lane and then onto the shoulder, so he stops in a cloud of dust and the minivan stops and the whole fam damily piles out and the dope says, "Hey thanks for stopping so we could check out your car" DOH-AHO! You nearly killed me!and why is it, when you're buzzin along in your car, windows down, grooving on the sound the engine makes, listening for nuts and bolts fallin off, some jackhole flys by you blasting their horn....
I've had some funny ones with my Triumph.
Ex-neighbor: "I bought my ex-boyfriend a Sportster just like that."
Newbie on a Sporty, looking at my Triumph with a Sporty tank: "What year Sporty is that?"
Me: "The tank's a '96."
Dipshit walking by: "Is that a Harley?"
Me: "No, it's a Triumph."
Dipshit walking by: "Oh, at least it's not an import."
Whenever I go anywhere in my 58 Merc wagon I am bombarded with "What year is it? " One time I didn't get a half a block from my house before someone was leaning out the window, driving down the street asking it. It's getting to be a family joke, My wife thinks I should just get lic' plates that say ITSA 58.
I really like when the bullshit slingers manage to step in their own pile.
A while ago I was at a gas station and the teenage oil changer comes out and starts telling me about this '65 Olds 88 he has that has a big block and this and that, and then finishes the statment by telling me that it does high 8s in the quarter.
Not really giving a shit whether or not he's telling the truth, I replied, "wow, I'd really like to see that". In his same ultra-enthuiastic tone he immediatley replied, "yeah, me too!".
My son and I go cruisin every weekend in the '49 shoebox.I've heard all kinds of "what kinda car is it?"statements.Some of the funnier ones are,
"my dad had a Chevy like that"
"is it original?"
"I think you have an exhaust leak"
"why is it so loud?"(my response,"what?")
"I love Mercury's like that"
"isn't that the car from Cobra?"
I write these down when I get home,cause we laugh about them all the time.I cant blame the ones that think it's a Chevy,cause it has a '53 Chevy grill,even thuogh it's nowhere near the size!
Mike you just built it wrong, back in the early 60's Harry Vanderwyke (SP) built a bad ass nail head, 4 place water pumper that tore up the dunes at home hanging in the rafters on pullies was a beautiful painted 32 touring body. He changed four wheels pulled into the garage lowered the body and in less than 1 hour he was tearing up the streets in a Buick powered 32 touring. I loved it both ways. I have to wonder if he still has it. I'm going to check on that next time I get to Pasadena
Even though most of the people don't know what they are looking at,there was this lady who came up to me at the bank when I was leaving nad said"nice '49'.I asked "you know what it is?"She said"yes ,I have a nice '49 in my garage that was my first car."So being curious,I told her i'd like to see it,expecting to see a Mustang or something.I followed her to house in Fullerton.When she opened her garage,I was speachless.Not only was it a '49,but it was an unrestored original!It had lots of wear,but complete car.She said she hasn't drivin it in years,sinse her husband died,who by the way,always told her to get rid of it.She asked me if I could get "HIM" running.I said sure,i'll try.Looking forward to that.She wants to give it to her granddaughter.Exception to the rule!
I've already railed on having everybody want to talk (I know they're just being friendly - but I'm not) but I think the bullshit artists are the best.
At the hardware store, the kid at the counter asks what I'm working on.
"Fifty-four Dodge truck"
"Oh, I'm into old cars, too. I've got an El Camino..."
I tuned out for a sec here because I didn't know any elcos were 'old'; just older than his 22 year old ass. But I tuned back in to hear something like:
"... it makes 490 horses and gets 35 miles per gallon."
"impressive" says I. "turbo and EFI?"
"Well, it's because I make ompression in the intake, instead of the carb..."
I just can't make this shit up.
But the electrical dept. guy at the lynnwood lowes had the best story: he has the second '56 vette off the assy line, worth $1M+, he built a blah blah blah with 700 edelbrock motor, and has a chevelle with 1100 HP.
Does edelbrock build motors now? And does working as a salesman at lowes pay that well? Better get my fuckin' app in!
When he said he wanted to do a mid fifties pontiac sedan delivery next, I asked him how much he wanted to spend, and what condition he was looking for. Said he should give me his # and I'd put the word out.
That shut him up real quick.
Yea,what a waste of a good chopped Merc.Stupid hoodscoop,stupid wheels,noo www's,oh and...stupid actor!
Yep, they do. And No, it doesn't.
I moonlight for a real live chassis builder. We've done everything from promods to vintage tin, even had a car published once... we don't blow smoke and get a laugh at any who do.
Just yesterday we were talking about the guy at Automoan that is real proud of his Mopar project and can't wait to get the 454 runnin....
And then there's the fella with the stroked small black in his late model firebird. We ask to take a look once... he tells us how it wasn't makin the power he wanted so he put the stocker back in.... Yep, I hate it when my stroker doesn't perform too well, also. I live to stroker...
I've had a few comments over the few years that I've been driving (well 9 years but whatever)
A guy called my old 60' Chevy Wagon a " A beautiful Dodge sedan delivery" (it was in primer and didnt have any trim so I let it slide)
A younger guy (my age around 25 or so) said he had a "T-Bird just like this in highschool"... I was in a 65' Mustang coupe.
In the same 65 Mustang I had a guy tell me it was Identical to the 69 mustang he had sitting in his garage, when I said that mine was a 65 he tryed to correct me, I just walked off. (people like that are the reason I dont own mustangs anymore...well that and the cookie cutter factor)
GREAT THREAD,HERE'S THE THING I GET WITH MY CAR,
a 32 highboy tudor with a hemi.
"That's the Munster car" It kind bothers me,but I know its from people who really really really don't know our gig.
I get a lot of "When ya gonna paint it" too. I guess if was yellow and not black primer it would cut down on the Munster stuff.
I will beat the next asshole who shouts "look Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!" when i'm in my A roadster!!!!!!.
At a classic show last summer and 2 old boys were discussing the "side valve 4 cylinder" in my A.....It's a Small block chevy!!
same show....knob in a rally jacket (think nylon padded waterproof!) tells me to put a 3.8 Jag 6 pot in the car as "that's the most powerfull engine you can get and all the custom cars have them"
My 51 Ford has a 50 grill in it. so far most people have only seen pictures of it since it hasnt seen the road. when i show the pictures i constantly get "what year is the studebaker?", or "nice desoto...i drove one in high school" WTF?
Ha...speaking of stupid comments i made an ass out myself last weekend. I was at a buddys house picking up my motor and as we were checking out his field of cars out back i said "what do you got a bug back there for?" That was one hell of a brain fart becasue it was a '37 Plymouth and i knew damn well it was. LOL. i felt retarded. he couldnt help but laugh
not so much a car story, but just the other day when i was at work, i road my dad's '76 CB750 chopper (The Road Warrior, it looks like it came out of Mad Max). i was out front working on my boss's bike and some dude walked by and asked "what year is that old Indian?" pointing to my dad's bike. i didnt even know how to respond to that one. many have asked if its an old military bike (mainly because of the O.D. green saddle bags.) or an old harley or somthin. funny people out there....
You should give the 40 year old lady a ride in your "Dune Buggy"...........
When I had the '51 Chev.: "I used to have one just like it, except it was a Ford, and...."
I had it about the time the "Whale" caprice came out in '91 so I time to time answered the "What kinda' car is that?" comments with, "It's the new '91 Caprice." A few would look confused but stranger still were the ones who said, "Oh, Okay."
I just got back from a garage sell and there was a mopar there. I looked at the car from a distance but I don't know mopars very well. It was really nice looking so I said "that's a nice dodge charger." We'll the owner (a real nice lady) immediatly told me "its a challenger not a charger" and than gave me the whole history of them. When she was done giving me my mopar history lesson she said "they do have similar body lines so its hard to tell the differance unless you were a car guy". I felt like a huge dork. I left not leting on that I new anything about cars.
When I finished my red 39 Chevy coupe the first time in 1979, I was constantly being yelled at, hey, ZZ top. After about 5 years of that you begin to ignore the other dumb comments.
I went up to The Interior Of British Columbia last year in my Wagon( about a 240 mile drive) and I was filling up in a Chevron when a guy walked around the wagon commenting on how nice it was.
He said " If it was mine,I would put a Diesel engine in it to save money on gas "
Oh, I just love the way some people feel so goddamn free to give their advice on what I should do with my car, my time, and my money.
One of these days, I think I'll ask one of these asshats if he'd like to hear what I think he should go do...
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