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Rules to live by when workin on your Rod

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by fortypickup, Mar 11, 2008.

  1. henryj429
    Joined: Jan 18, 2007
    Posts: 1,055


    When recovering from a arm injury, be sure to light your sling on fire at least once with the torch.

    When removing the drill bit that just went through your finger, don't bother to rotate it counterclockwise.

    When the motor is just about out of the car and the floor is covered with tranny fluid and newspaper - that is the time to torch off the last bolt.

    Disregard those bright orange stickers on your garage door that say "release tension on spring before removing"

    When dropping the trouble light into a puddle of oil, be sure to drop it from at least 2 feet.

    When your throttle sticks at highway speed, don't turn the key off - just drive until you run out of gas. You'd hate to blow open a brand new muffler.

    Yikes, it's a wonder we're all still alive!
  2. Fenders
    Joined: Sep 8, 2007
    Posts: 3,922


    Keep your face shield dirty, that way you can tell when it's down !!
  3. Fenders
    Joined: Sep 8, 2007
    Posts: 3,922


    You will !!
    I have !!
    I recognise many of them............
  4. Fenders
    Joined: Sep 8, 2007
    Posts: 3,922


    This actually happened to me, but 30 miles later. Oil light came on. Fortunately auto parts store was one block away.......
    Oh wait... many more things reported here happened too.......
  5. OoltewahSpeedShop
    Joined: Oct 18, 2007
    Posts: 3,104


    Best Thread ever!

    Post more tips for everybody.
  6. oilslinger53
    Joined: Apr 17, 2007
    Posts: 2,500

    from covina CA

    when you use a bucket for a temporary seay in a truck, dont worry about the fact that its not bolted down, it wont tip over with you on it the first time yoou go around a corner
  7. jimmyv
    Joined: Dec 1, 2006
    Posts: 620


    Don't drain the 20 or 30 year old oil out of that old 6 cylinder you are trying to pull out of your 58 Chevy with a couple of bumper jacks while the car is sitting on top of the hill of your parents nice new clean white concrete drive. The engine won't fall impaling the oil pan sending black gold down the drive and sure you can spray paint your car red in their nice new 2 car garage. The over spray won't turn the floor and walls red.
  8. uglydog56
    Joined: Apr 8, 2008
    Posts: 331


    When putting a new carb on your car that requires different linkage you don't have, just take off the hood and sit on the front fender to run the throttle while your buddy runs the clutch, brakes and throttle as you go to his house to get it. A kid will never run in front of the car after his soccer ball, causing your friend to stand on the brakes, causing you to fly through the air, rolling down the street as your friend swerves in an attempt to miss the soccer ball, the boy running after it, and you.

    At least that's what I've heard.
  9. Ghost28
    Joined: Nov 23, 2008
    Posts: 3,154


    when welding hold on tight to the metal just in case your ground connection is not good. that way you can act as the ground. dont ask me how I know
  10. DogTownKustoms
    Joined: Nov 19, 2008
    Posts: 114


    Always keep as much flammable and valuable shit near to where youre grindin and weldin.
  11. Speed-Matic
    Joined: Dec 3, 2008
    Posts: 2


    kinda reminds me to never cook bacon when naked! :eek:
  12. Parts48
    Joined: Mar 28, 2008
    Posts: 1,302

    from Dry Heat
    1. Hot Rod Veterans

    Avoid a friend doing a DIY powder coat..the quick way..

    In the microwave..

    A throttle return spring is not necessary when you first start that new built motor..
  13. DogTownKustoms
    Joined: Nov 19, 2008
    Posts: 114


    if you smell burning, don't worry.
  14. pdc
    Joined: Nov 25, 2008
    Posts: 346


    If your harmonic balancer bolt doesn't tighten up. A good Lincoln welder will do the trick.
  15. aus55
    Joined: Dec 5, 2008
    Posts: 16

    from down under

    22 cal bullets make good fuses
  16. tinlid
    Joined: Nov 28, 2008
    Posts: 43


    If it works, take it apart to find out why.
  17. white64
    Joined: Sep 15, 2008
    Posts: 679

    from Maine

    bring your dog into the garage with you, can pat him and wipe the grease off your hands at the same time
    ...he will lick up the spilled beer and eat the (evidence) cold french fries can tell your wife you're walking the dog when she thinks you're spending too much time in the garage (where it's nice and quiet)
  18. pdc
    Joined: Nov 25, 2008
    Posts: 346


    Screwdrivers make good floor shifters.
  19. nexxussian
    Joined: Mar 14, 2007
    Posts: 3,251



  20. spinout
    Joined: Jan 15, 2008
    Posts: 333

    from Dallas, TX

    It is acceptable practice to lay your drop light down on your upholstry while going for another beer. I did that once...on new upholstry. What an idiot!
  21. lostforawhile
    Joined: Mar 23, 2008
    Posts: 4,160


    make sure to let the piece of metal you are drilling and holding with your hands,spin at least three times, before you get the pliars.
  22. J&JHotrods
    Joined: Oct 22, 2008
    Posts: 549


    When grinding, always wear that loose fitting shirt and that table that's too low so you have to crouch. That grinder will come to a halt after a few revolutions of your shirt get wound up in it.
    The rule of thumb for welding is-no shoes, no shirt, and daisy dukes. You don't want to get an uneven tan- do you?
    Back to the grinder. It's not that important to set your grinder on the bench when you plug it in, just hold it between your ribs and an arm-don't worry if you're pushing on the lever. What-you don't expect me to set my beer down, do you?
    And if that old, plastic end on that extension chord is brittle to the point of no longer holding both terminals safely away from each other-now is the time to set your beer down and gently use both hands(completing the circuit) to plug it into the wall. Reach for the beer after regaining consciousness.

  23. When parking a car in a shop, always drive it in as fast as possible.

    Coat the shop floor with oil to keep it nice and shiny, too, for that clean look

    Battery terminals can be checked for juice by simply laying a Crescent wrench across the terminals - saves buying a damn Multi-Meter!

    Any time jackstands are used, shows that the user is a pussy. Be a real man and use that bumper jack - that is what it's for, right?

    People have an unnatural fear of split-rim wheels. Just take that pry bar and rip that ring right off - who needs a cage, anyway?

    Contrary to popular belief, you CAN fill you car up with gas while talkng on a cellphone, smoking, and sliding in and out of the vehicle while the fuel filler is still on the car. Go ahead. Touch it! You'll "spark" hilarity as the fireworks go off!
  24. 31modelo
    Joined: Apr 9, 2006
    Posts: 1,126


    True,only pussys wear shoes when welding

    Sometimes I let my wife hold my beer and ask her to stand behind the car. That way can tell me how big of a rooster tail I got in the gravel driveway when I peel out. Don't worry I make her put her hand over the beer so nothing gets in there.
  25. Oilcan Harry
    Joined: Mar 3, 2001
    Posts: 906

    Oilcan Harry
    from INDY

    When using a wire wheel in a power drill always let it hang carelessly at your side with the trigger locked on when you are done wheelin'. That makes it easy to wind up your baggy shorts and underwear in the wire wheel. The resulting twist will squeeze your lemons like a juicer and quickly change your voice a couple octaves! Think Vienna Boys Choir and Ice pack.
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2009
  26. Don't worry if its blown, just solder a piece of wire to the ends of the fuse. Don't worry about how big it is as long as it fixes it.
  27. skypilot
    Joined: Mar 25, 2008
    Posts: 16

    from Menomonie

    <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 9"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 9"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/STEVEN%7E1/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/msoclip1/01/clip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:DoNotOptimizeForBrowser/> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> Always protect parts with your finger before hitting them with the biggest hammer you own.
  28. metalman
    Joined: Dec 30, 2006
    Posts: 3,276


    Make sure your wedding ring is well grounded as you hold the piece to be tacked with a mig welder, close your eyes and pull the trigger. When the wire hits paint and deflects to your ring, you too can be amazed as to how fast gold will turn red.

    A co-worker showed me this one. When you turn over the open gallon can that's half full of lacquer thinner on your bench, spilling it down the front of your jeans and floor, be sure to get pissed and throw whatever is in your hand at the time. Even if that happens to be your flint torch lighter.
  29. George G
    Joined: Jun 28, 2005
    Posts: 1,274

    George G

    Regarding rule # 2. I know a guy that used to paint big oil tanks with a paper face mask with a hole puched in the middle for a cigarette!

  30. 29nash
    Joined: Nov 6, 2008
    Posts: 4,544

    from colorado

    Planning ahead is stupid. Rework is half the fun.

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