Rules to live by when workin on your Rod

A hammer and duct tape are your best friends.

 

In the spirit of this post I will remind you that dumping all your old rusty fine, coarse, metric, and standard bolts into the same coffee can will save you alot of space on the shelf, and alot of metric and standard bolts really will interchange if you live by the above moto!

 

If you don't have extra bolts, when re-assembling a part, you did it wrong.

 

Always turn a wrench with your dog by your side.

 

My dad used to throw them down the carb and yell 'find your own way home'.

 

If it is cold in the garage just start up the family car and turn the heater on high with the windows and doors open to the car. It will heat up in no time if you keep the garage door closed!

Also don't forget to keep you oxy & acet gauges well oiled

 

Always pre-strip your bolts for easy over-torqueing.

 

cut to size , beat to fit , paint to match ..........

 

no kidding. not with the welder but the cut off wheel. 3 times. glasses and mask all 3. they know me by name and condition at the urgent care.

 

when you cut metal with a cut off wheel, grab it immediatly. When you realise its hot, pull your hand off as quickly as possible, and also realize its sharp. Done this to many times to count.

 

you know your good when the folks in the Emergency Room know you by your first name and keep your medical records on top of the filing cabinet.
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Or even better when the MediVac helicopter crew knows your name!

 

Always throw parts as hard as you can when you're pissed. Especially if they are going to bounce off the drywall onto the hood and into the windshield of your ride. Do this only if the paint is fresh and the windshield is new. Tried this on my 56 Bird, and it worked just fantastic.

 

ALWAYS smoke when handling flammable liquids. If you don't smoke, now's a good time to learn.

 

when you get pissed after busting your knuckles trying to turn the fly wheel with a screwdriver throw it as hard as you can at the nearest tire! dont worry it wont come back at you.

 

This has been a great read!

As long as there is welding/cutting/grinding sparks...Long live the fire dance!

 

WINNER!!!!

Just sprayed my morning coffee over the keyboard.

 

Always tell your wife exactly what you have invested in your car.

 

If you insist on making a mistake that messes up or makes a part totally unusable please make sure its not a part that is always instock and on the shelf of your local auto parts store. Make sure its a part that will require alot of time ,money and effort to find a part thats not nearly as nice as the one you ruined and will cost you more money than the the one you screwed up .

 

Just a few more tips from the shop....

1. Who needs silicone on gaskets? They won't leak
2. Jack stands are FINE on your chrome dropped axle
3. Cutting wheels on a 6" grinder will NOT kick back and bring the blood
4. Fuses in wiring is for Pussy's
5. Wheel chocks are for Soft Cocks
6. Screwdrivers will NOT destroy powder coating
7. Scotch Brite pads work great on polished aluminum
8. Laquer thinner works AWESOME on shiny paint
9. Steel wool will NOT melt on the back of your alternator

10. 110 octane fuel smells like Fried Chicken to Elvis.....

 

Never connect the inhibitor switch if you're doing an engine or trans swap!
Then invite your drunken friends around to witness you kicking it into life!


And some medical advice for those that get injured
" HARDEN UP BRO "

 

-always put your tools such as socket sets on the roof of your vehicle when working. Then you can spend an enjoyable couple of hours dodging traffic whilst picking them up off the road when you do your road test.This works for cell phones and wallets too.
-always direct the sparks from your angle grinder directly at any glass nearby (esp windscreens)...they leave a nice pot-mark effect and when they rust it adds to the patina of your ol' car!
-never stop your boy using 40grit paper to sand the nice paint on your wifes daily driver. Hes only tryin to help and he gota learn somehow

 

Wheel chocks are for Soft Cocks


Now thats some funny shit.

 

Has anyone mentioned that wood nails are perfect replacement for cotter pins.
having your face directly in the path of a drill handle and watch it as it gets caught and spins hitting you in the nose.
teach your 3 year old how to plun and unplug all the power tools so when your underneath your truck trying to drill the frame,the little shit unplugs it

 

Ok this is where I'm going to draw the line...That shits not funny, and really could be hazardous to your health!

 

OolttewahSpeedShop: Just a few more tips from the shop....

" Wheel chocks are for Soft Cocks."


Im going immedeatly to have this phrase tattooed accross my stomach...pics to follow.

 

Meh, they quit givin' me my frequent flyer miles.

 

My wife thinks I'm crazy I've been laughing and crying for 2 nights at this same thread!

 

Go ahead and leave shit lying on the floor while your running a saw cause your not worried about sawing a couple of fingers off when you step on it. You know cause those kind of flesh wounds are no big deal. After that you don't need to go to the hospital cause thats just a hassle, so tell the wife to go get you some butterflie stitches and some neosporin and call it good. At some point during the evening you realize that going to work is overated and a month off would be spectacular.BD

 

When your engine won't start, do not take a logical approach to troubleshooting. Instead, start replacing parts willy-nilly style. After you have replaced the coil, points, condensor, plug wires, plugs, fuel filter, fuel pump...screw with the timing.

After all else fails, ask for help on the HAMB. Make it your first post.