The Jalopy Journal
Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Boneyard51, Apr 2, 2018.
Never swallow anything bigger than your Arsehole............
We started to say in high school and still use now:
" Quarter ass.....when half assed is too good"
Torque specs "Turn it 'till it strips and then back off one turn"
"It's not just good, but good enough"
I don't know why we started saying this but it STUCK, even my girlfriend and mom use it now......
***Fake drum roll***
"Shit a Miata" as in Mazda Miata .... like "when that customer gets back and sees their car......they're going to shit a Miata"
Three quotes that have guided me most of my adult life.
1) If your gonna be a bear, be a grisly.
2)Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.
3) Do today what others won't, so you can do tomorrow what others can't.
“If you’ve never made a mistake,you’ve have never made anything.”
“Shit doesn’t happen,someone always causes it “
C.S. Lewis: "... all but the best of men would rather be called wicked than vulgar."
A.W.N. Pugin: "Decorate construction; never construct decoration."
“There is no such thing as an original sin”
a new broom sweeps clean but an old one knows the corners
don't buy tomatoes out of season
From my mom anytime us kids tried pulling a fast one on her - "you're gonna shit and fall back in it!"
One from my grandfather that I've followed all my life - "you'll never get rich paying someone else to do your work for you". Learned a lot following this and saved a lot of coin as well.
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"If you don't have time to do it right, where will you find the time to do it over?" 'Red' Owen, a master builder and friend of the family.
There should have been an 11th Commandment.
"Mind your own business".
"I'd bet if it had a lil fuzz around it you could find it"
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"More lives have been lost in battle by indecision than bad decisions"
"Close enough for jazz."
My dad's favorite: "Fix what you know is broken!"
It goes with the old saying about simplifying a problem: "If you don't know how to do something, do what you know how to do and then look at the problem again."
I was partners in a body shop with a man that I was very close to in the '80s until his demise in the early '90s. His go to phrase was, "There aint nuthin left but just a finishin up."
I used to spend about 6 weeks a year with him in the states when I was in Mexico working and resting my brain. One year I came north in a mud truck that was on its last legs. Our shop was in the country on an old farm, and when I got there he handed me a "PAYDAY" bar and said "come with me." in once place there was an engine and transmission, in another place there were a couple of drives and a chassis and in the third pile was a pickup body. He reached down and picked up a steering column and handed it to me and said, "Well there aint nothing but just a finishin up."
I could probably drop quite a few quotes but that one usually does it for me.
Be the guy who gives a fuck, there are already to many who don't.
"There ain't no Coupe deVille hiding in the bottom of the Cracker Jack box".........Meatloaf.
Mark Twain is getting a lot of good press here, but let's not forget Will Rogers.........
"This would be a great world to dance in if we didn't have to pay the fiddler."
"An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."
"Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for."
"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has."
"With Congress — every time they make a joke it's a law. And every time they make a law it's a joke."
"When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do ---
--- well, that's (your) Memoirs."
"Never miss a good chance to shut up."
"Rules are for the obedience of fools and interpretations of smart men."
"Any car which holds together for a whole race is too heavy."
"You won't catch me driving a race car that I have built."
"From success, you learn absolutely nothing. From failure and setbacks conclusions can be drawn. That goes for your private life as well as your career and racing."
You learn a lot more with your mouth closed than you do with it open.
The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
Good intentions count for nothing.
If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.
I have been through some terrible things in my life some of which actually happened.
(The later reminds me of testimony time)
"I yam what I yam, and that's all that I yam." Popeye
There are more horses asses than there are horses.
When I was a kid I could remember anything whether it was true or not. [Twain]
If I spend more time watching where I'm going instead of looking at where I've been, I might get somewhere.
No is not an answer. It's an obstacle to overcome
My own philosophy when working on a big problem and don't know exactly how to fix it.
"Fix what you know is broken or wrong and the real problem will often resolve itself or reveal itself. "
Don't find fault, find a remedy.
Separate names with a comma.