Hot Rods Quotes to live by...

"Had a malfunction in the shit/fart separator"

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" if common sense was common , common people would have some "

 

Well, WHO can argue with THAT?

 

There is no "I" in team....But there are four of them in Platitude Quoting Imbecile.

 

"Stupid Hurts".

 

I can't take credit for that one; Honda used it (or something close) back in the '70's advertising bikes. I do have this, though, from my Navy days. "Whenever you get the chance to eat, sleep, or screw, do it. You might not get another chance."

 

There is an "I" in team. Its in the "A" hole.

Put that down son, it might be loaded.

 

*^*^* IF ? *^*^* If a frog had wings , it wouldn't bust it's ass every time it jumped "

 

When you see crazy coming, cross the street.

 

"Wonder what's going on down the road" Checkered Demon. (Last Gasp Comix)
" Ever think the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes" George Gobel.

 

And the all time classic "try not, do or do not, there is no try" Yoda.

 

It's not her fault, she was born crazy. She's a woman after all.

 

"You can sheer a sheep several times, you can slaughter it only once" I think that from either the Bible... or a sleazy sales book I read once.

 

Innocent your honor, I was just standing there behind that sheep and it backed up to me.

 

daaaaaaady

 

That was baaaaaaad.

 

I loved and lost

Do I feel stupid

Shot by a husband

Instead of cupid

- Fred Allen

 

My dad would always say if he saw somebody driving a really nice car...."I wish that was mine and that guy had a nicer one".

 

My Dad always said: "She had freckles on her but she was nice."

 

"Everybody seems normal, till you get to know them."

 

Everyone is crazy because they aren't me.

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A new favorite I recently heard. You can't fix stupid but duct tape can shut them up.

 

Men marry women hoping they'll never change. Women marry men hoping they will change. Both are doomed to disappointment.

 

Montana where men are men and sheep are scared!!!

just sayin'

brasscarguy

 

Ever notice ... everyone driving faster than you is a maniac, but everyone driving slower is a moron?

George Carlin

 

"PSA from the NSA: We're the part of the Government that actually listens."

 

Vince Lombardi had so many great one it would take a while to put them all here. Do a Google search for his quotes it will be worth it.

 

Might already be on here somewhere -

"Life is hard; it's even harder when you're stupid."

 

Bob k may have said this. It doesn’t really cost anymore to go first class


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