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Hot Rods Quotes to live by...

Discussion in 'The Hokey Ass Message Board' started by Boneyard51, Apr 2, 2018.

  1. seb fontana
    Joined: Sep 1, 2005
    Posts: 5,588

    seb fontana
    Member
    from ct

    Damn I thought I had it rough!
     
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  2. verde742
    Joined: Aug 11, 2010
    Posts: 4,609

    verde742
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    Hell Yes ! I can keep a secret, I haven't told my wife I know how to fold a fitted sheet.!
     
  3. karl share
    Joined: Nov 5, 2015
    Posts: 58

    karl share
    Member

    To ask a stupid question is better than making a stupid mistake. - dad.
    We are lucky we don't get as much government as we pay for.!!!
     
  4. BAD ROD
    Joined: Dec 16, 2004
    Posts: 1,531

    BAD ROD
    Member

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  5. ramblin dan
    Joined: Apr 16, 2018
    Posts: 925

    ramblin dan

    You never know how dirty a song's lyrics are till you hear a child singing them.
     
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  6. The Shift Wizard
    Joined: Jan 10, 2017
    Posts: 1,069

    The Shift Wizard
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    Some Groucho Marx gems........
    "The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
    "I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
    "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."
    "It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy."
    "Before I speak, I have something important to say."
    "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
    "No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early."
     
  7. sevenhills1952
    Joined: Mar 14, 2018
    Posts: 525

    sevenhills1952

    The Marx brothers were comedic geniuses. I can watch those old movies over again. So funny.

    Sent from my SM-S320VL using Tapatalk
     
  8. Speedwrench
    Joined: Nov 21, 2009
    Posts: 943

    Speedwrench
    Member

    Diplomacy is the ability to tell someone to go to hell and have them look forward to the trip.
     
  9. sevenhills1952
    Joined: Mar 14, 2018
    Posts: 525

    sevenhills1952

    Years ago Dad was #1 salesman and his boss asked what his secret was.
    He said "I'm bald enough to look distinguished and have hemorrhoids enough to have a look of concern".

    Sent from my SM-S320VL using Tapatalk
     
  10. Chappy444
    Joined: Jan 27, 2012
    Posts: 494

    Chappy444
    ALLIANCE MEMBER
    1. Maryland HAMBers

    my dad used this one on me as well... but he always added "...and i will make another one that looks just like you"
     
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  11. X-cpe
    Joined: Mar 9, 2018
    Posts: 281

    X-cpe

    According to Archie Bunker it was getting someone to do something they didn't want to do by promising to give them something you were never going to give them.
     
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  12. One of my favorite Marx Brothers gems is this. Cicco: I think we should have a standing army “ Groucho: why?, Cicco: cause then we’d save money on chairs!


    Sent from my iPhone using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
     
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  13. 34Larry
    Joined: Apr 25, 2011
    Posts: 535

    34Larry
    Member

    If I had a dog as ugly, as you are, she/he is, they are; Id shave his ass and make it walk backwards.
     
  14. Mark Hinds
    Joined: Feb 20, 2009
    Posts: 511

    Mark Hinds
    Member
    from pomona ca

    Me to some customer with parts that need to be thrown away;

    I can polish it and it's still gonna be a turd.

    My wifes favorite;

    Doesn't matter who's shoe it's on, shit is still shit..

    My brother to a braggart;

    You'll shit too, if you eat regular
     
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  15. johnnymac1
    Joined: Sep 16, 2012
    Posts: 111

    johnnymac1
    Member

    It's good that the right people hate you for the right reasons.
     
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  16. ramblin dan
    Joined: Apr 16, 2018
    Posts: 925

    ramblin dan

    We met for a reason. Either you're a blessing or a lesson.
     
  17. Fitnessguy
    Joined: Sep 28, 2015
    Posts: 986

    Fitnessguy
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    Too soon old and too late smart
     
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  18. murpa
    Joined: Aug 25, 2009
    Posts: 108

    murpa
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    My Dad use to say. Four rubber wheels are better than two rubber heels.
     
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  19. maplefrm
    Joined: Aug 15, 2010
    Posts: 496

    maplefrm
    ALLIANCE MEMBER
    from Central IL

    When someone gets something he didn't work for, someone else worked for something he didn't get.
     
  20. Speedwrench
    Joined: Nov 21, 2009
    Posts: 943

    Speedwrench
    Member

    We are all put on earth for a reason, even if it's just to serve as a bad example.
     
  21. johnnymac1
    Joined: Sep 16, 2012
    Posts: 111

    johnnymac1
    Member

    Everyone brings joy to a shop, some by entering, others by leaving.
     
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  22. CodeMonkey
    Joined: Sep 13, 2012
    Posts: 90

    CodeMonkey
    Member
    from Moline IL

    We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things go downhill.

    Never criticize someone without walking a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and have their shoes.

    And from one of the farmers I used to work for: "It's not so bad getting old, just unhandy at times."
     
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  23. BrerHair
    Joined: Jan 30, 2007
    Posts: 4,159

    BrerHair
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    My dad had a boatload of sayings . . . one in particular he used a lot: Two or more folks struggling with some task, he would say "Like two monkeys trying to fuck a football."

    His favorite quote was from Satchel Paige: "Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you."

    Paige had as many great quotes as Yogi. Here's a few more:
    "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching."
    "Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines."
    "Money and women. They're two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn't do for anything else. Same with money."
    "Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter."
    "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?"
    "Mother always told me, if you tell a lie, always rehearse it. If it don't sound good to you, it won't sound good to no one else."
    "Don't eat fried food, it angries up the blood."
     
  24. BrerHair
    Joined: Jan 30, 2007
    Posts: 4,159

    BrerHair
    ALLIANCE MEMBER

    FUBAR

    Seems appropriate what with this being D-Day anniversary. My dad was a WWII vet and he always got a kick out of saying this. I would say this qualifies as a quote to live by for when things aren't exactly copacetic.
     
  25. Rick & Jan
    Joined: Apr 9, 2008
    Posts: 354

    Rick & Jan
    Member

    My Dad once said to me " That must be your Ass talking cuz your Head knows better"
     
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  26. jnaki
    Joined: Jan 1, 2015
    Posts: 2,829

    jnaki

    Hello,
    While visiting a friend for a nice dinner, overheard were many questionable sayings by the head of the household. Being nice to the whole family, one learns to just say nothing in reply.

    A grumpy old man (gone now) once said to his wife, many questionable quotes over the years. One time, after she served him his dinner, she asked how was the ....... The answer was: " I'm eating it, aren't I?" That guy was full of not just dinner, but other stuff, too.

    Jnaki
     
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  27. I used to use this one on my kids, "Are those ears painted on?"
    Now, they use it on me.

    You're the kind of guy that would piss on my boots and tell me they're wet because its raining.

    She's got a face that would make a freight train take a dirt road.
    Bob
     
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  28. sevenhills1952
    Joined: Mar 14, 2018
    Posts: 525

    sevenhills1952

    So many good ones!
    When I brought my wife to meet parents 46 years ago we were having dinner when Dad farted at the table "George!" she exclaimed. Dad said "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was your turn Ma".

    Sent from my SM-S320VL using Tapatalk
     
  29. 6sally6
    Joined: Feb 16, 2014
    Posts: 198

    6sally6
    Member

    My Dad told me more than once......
    "Boy....I'll beat you till you shit......then I'll beat you for shit'in"!
    "I'll beat you like a borrowed mule"
    "I'll stomp a mud hole in your ass...and then I'll walk it dry"
    "Can't never did do nuth'in"!
    He's been gone a long time but his "say'ins" still make me smile
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2018
  30. As a wise man once said “ The only thing we have to fear is, fear itself “.


    Sent from my iPhone using The H.A.M.B. mobile app
     
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